Newbies Nest

[actiongirl46]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello all . . . I'm joining the members come back in January party. Day 1 for me.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello all . . . I'm joining the members come back in January party. Day 1 for me.

Hi Action girl! Welcome back. You're taking action like your name says. I remember a kick arse persona. :goodjob:

[ssd858]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all! I am back for a dry January and beyond!
Day 7

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome back SSD. Congratulations on 7 days without poison! New beginnings friend. Keep it going.

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

I wishing you the best Tony for today. I know that space you're in as I've been there myself and it isn't fun! That self-doubt and pain that can come as an after-effect of drinking is hell.

It's good to see you J-vo! I totally agree that longer time sober help be able to cope with painful memories and thoughts. Drinking through them just drags them out and makes it worse. Anyway, I'm listening if you need an ear.

G-man, I think you are making the right choice getting balanced instead of socializing if that's what you need. That's how I'm feeling myself. Over the silly season I feel like I held it together pretty well, but staying centered was tough. I am needing to get myself grounded.

Hello to everyone! I'm on day 2 and feeling happy I came here yesterday. I was hungover, but also sick with some sort of flu. My family came to visit and their flight left yesterday. I felt so sad to see them go. The visit went really well, but there always is pressure and strain when family is involved. I drank while they were here, not a massive amount... so I'm glad for that. As in the past I would be cringing about my behaviour and worried about what I did or said... But it all catches up. I could really feel myself starting to become unhinged yesterday. Too much stimulation, and not enough self care.

I'm excited to be looking at sobriety for the next 30 days as I love how much better I will feel.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Choices. Happy new year. Thanks, i reckon i'll look after me this week. I think it's important not to take too much on where possible, even though i'm at 130 plus days, it is still early on, and i must remember i'm not superman (just yet). I like your above line re self care -'But it all catches up. I could really feel myself starting to become unhinged yesterday. Too much stimulation, and not enough self care'. Look after you. If i look after me, then everything and everyone around me will be ok. Good to see u back.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jvo, i remember attending a CBT session in booze school (rehab for 3 weeks then i dropped out), and they spoke about being stuck on/in past memories and experiences. One suggestion was some folk might find counselling/therapy useful, whereas others might just need to leave it alone BUT - acknowledge the negative memory/experience (which doesn't mean we accept it or that it was right or we were wrong). Acknowledge it happened, we did our best at the time with the tools we had, and we cannot change it. So whilst we do not accept it (e.g. if we were abused in some way), we can acknowledge it, let it stay back there, and move on and live our life to the fullest for today. I'm not suggesting either of these methods, i just thought it was interesting.

I am a big advocate of letting the past stay in the past and not keeping it alive by perseverating about it. After we have learned whatever lesson the past has to teach us, what is the point in going over it and over it, making ourselves sick and regretful? It isn't happening now, and of course we can't change whatever happened in the past. But there is no reason to sacrifice our present and future to it. And like G said, we were doing the best we could at the time, given what we knew then. How fortunate we are to know more now!

My past certainly taught me that I cannot have one drink. I learned a lesson (FINALLY!) and my present and future are all the better for it. When I need to, I can deliberately call up an image from my past that reminds me about why I've made the right choice. But I don't play those images over and over in my mind all of the time, generating the self-hatred and hopelessness I used to feel. I'm not that person anymore so why upset the person I am now with those memories, making this new person anxious and unhappy? It changes nothing from the past and ruins the now, which is all we've ever got anyway.

Did you download this book, @jvo?: Death Wish: The Path through Addiction to a Glorious Life: Steve Chandler: 9781625116: Amazon.com: Books It's a quick and to me, fabulous read.


EDIT: I just saw all the people who came back! Welcome! Maybe some of you would be interested in that book, too :hug:

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest! Nice to see you back Choices, Action, Nanette & ssd. No better time than the present to get ourselves healthy. Tony, good to see you back too. Sorry to hear of your family troubles. Glad you are back here too. Tell us what your plan is.

I'm enjoying a quiet Sunday and looking forward to checking another sober day in the calendar. I wondered if it might be too much to take on my diet being so early in my quit, but I think it's actually helping because I'm losing my sugar cravings and that was huge behind my alcohol cravings. So far, so good. And I made a deal with myself that if I have to cave with something, it would be food, not alcohol.

Have a nice day!

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome back ssd and action. We're all back for damn good reasons and that's to kick the poison to the curb and beyond. So glad we have strong Nest to do that. Our wings will heal in no time, but I'm not flying anywhere.

G, those are good words of advice. Since I have been there and done that more than a few times with therapy, I'm gonna pass on that. I think this forum is great therapy and more advice than I ever received from the therapists I've gone to. I love when you called rehab "booze school." Just something that made me lol a lot. You've got a great way with words, and that's your creative talent so I'm not surprised but always amused. Thank you.:hug:

NS, yes, it makes so much sense to leave it behind where it actually is, and in reality is NO MORE. I hate torturing myself like that. And again, your wise words make a difference as it makes me really think about my actions and the time I'm wasting. I'll check out that book. Thank God I have Amazon prime!!!! What the hell did I do before prime came along? :love:

Went grocery shopping so have a lot of prep work to do with hubby cleaning, cutting, cooking...

Have a worry-free night all.

Jvo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just dropping in to wish all the 'returnees' a warm welcome.
Get your plans updated & make yourselves comfortable in the nest!

Have a safe night everyone!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wanted to pop in and say hi to the returners. Glad to see all of you back in the Nest. Safe and sound.

Running Courage posted this in the Army Thread (or was it you, [MENTION=23019]tonyniceday[/MENTION]?) Any - this is a fabulous read and so much of it rang true for me. How I Let Drinking Take Over My Life

Night.
Pav

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for posting a link to that article Pav. I found it very interesting and could relate to a lot of it. It's evening here and I am doing well. The first day is done and dusted with my diet. I got in a bad mood a half hour before dinner, but it passed. I told my husband I'm going for 30 days. He is supportive. He is trying to lose weight also so I'm assuming he won't be drinking much either. So I'm feeling steady. I hope everyone is well!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

welcome to all the newbies, you will never ever regret stopping drinking.

Tomorrow is 1500 days for me and as a newbie i never ever thought i would get to double digits and here i am today. Its taken me hard work and dedication to becoming sober and staying sober. Its taken a lot of accountability on my part and a lot of reading and posting each and every day but im in a good place now. I am not rocking my sober boat by leaving here, if all it takes is listening and learning from the oldies then i feel safe and secure in my sobriety.

First day back at work today and it was a good day, still pretty quiet which is great though i didnt want to get out of bed early.

Congrats J on 7 days, keep plodding along and before you know it life will be great.

Take care. x

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just popping in for a quick fly-by this morning. Had a great weekend visit with my cousin - absolutely no temptation to drink, and a really fun time catching up after all these years. It looks like we've had a lot of posts over the weekend - I'll read back and catch up with everyone today.

Meanwhile, welcome (back) to Nanette, Choices, ssd, Tony, and action! January is a great time to start or resume a quit, and we're glad you're here.

Ava and Jude - great job on your cigs quits!

Hope everyone has great days/eves!

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh my goodness guys - I missed quite a weekend of updates!

jvo - my biggest f*ck it is my anxiety. When I get overwhelmed and I need my brain to shut off it seems like alcohol is the easiest and quickest way. I know I need to work on ways to calm my anxiety before it gets to that stage. I think I can easily fall into the “I wasn’t that bad” category because I never lost a job, got a DUI, still have my kids/marriage…so was my drinking really THAT bad? Well, yes, it was.

Telling myself that one will never be enough and just one isn’t going to do anything that zero can’t do, so why even indulge?

Ava - this made me laugh, “I hate everyone, I’m cranky, I want to kill, maim and destroy and I want to eat…” I too have days where I hate everyone. Good for you for quitting smoking! I’ve heard that’s incredibly difficult. You, too, Jude! And awesome job on 1500 days, Ava. WOW!

Kensho - oddly enough I used to use the 15 minute trick at parties to curb my drinking to keep up with the “normal” people. I’d down my wine in 10 minutes, whereas everyone else would sip for 30-45 minutes. I’d keep watch on the clock and tell myself I had to wait until X time to get more. I could barely listen to the conversation I was so focused on when that clock would hit the magic minute. Should have been a clue. Better to use it as a sober tool though!

LOL Byrdie, same here in the Midwest. We have 4 wheel drive so we can drive fast on the ice!

Lav - sorry to hear about your friend. My husband is a volunteer firefighter, always scary.

G-man, sometimes you just gotta do stuff for you. That’s a good thing!

Hello Nanette, Choices, Tony, Action girl & ssd! Welcome back.

I’ve now had 2 nights where alcohol didn’t even cross my mind. Even went out to eat one of those nights where everyone else ordered drinks and I found that I was able to order hot tea (so many fancy options to choose from, too!) and sip on that as long as everyone else sipped on their wine. And it was a long drive home - I was tired, but so happy to wake up un hungover. Ate terribly over the weekend. We’re potty training and using M&M’s as reward. Daughter is doing amazing (no accidents!) but every time she goes potty and gets an M&M, mommy gets a handful. I don’t even like them. It’s just there. Back at it today. If only I could get myself up in the mornings. I just need to DO it, even if it’ll suck for awhile. Hit that point in pregnancy where you wake up every time you turn over and I’m having horrible heartburn…but other than that and feeling a bit drained I feel really good. Played with my daughter all weekend and realized that would have felt more like a chore than something I enjoyed had I been drinking.

OK - off to get some work done. Finally warming up here so might be able to take a walk outside without the wind hurting my face! Woohoo!