Newbies Nest

[PanhandleKim]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have good news and bad news. Bad news is I'm having to start over. The good news is I'm starting over anyway. I blew it this weekend but am concentrating now on a new day, a new week and a new year. It makes me so mad at myself that I allowed the slip but there's nothing to be done except begin again. Even though I know what often drives my alcoholism, at least I think I do, I fall into the same old traps so easily. Anyway, here we go on another day one.

I'm so sad to hear about Mario but am thankful you all posted what happened. He was always so faithful about posting and always positive. He is missed.

Hope everyone has an AF Monday...

Kim

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning fly by. Hi Nesters, hope everyone’s doing well today!

PAV, I loved that article. So well written and affirming. I might have had a slightly different version of abuse, but the similarities were very apparent. I loved his boiled down perspective after being quit 5 years:

“Quaffing sour or pungent liquids in order to make yourself dumber? Preposterous! I have the same feelings about alcohol that I had when I was 10. It’s dangerous; it’s disgusting; it causes cancer; it rots your liver and makes you look, and smell, like a much older and sicker person.”

Thanks for sharing!

Great job on day 1 of your diet Choices! As long as you don’t drink (and you don’t, right?), anything else you do is icing on the cake.

Happy 1500 Ava. All I can say to you is this:

fabulous.png

Moon, 15 min. to drink one glass? That seems like an eternity to me. I certainly gulped whenever I was able. Oh, and do I remember that heartburn! I feel your pain!

Good for you jumping back in Kim! You did post when you felt vulnerable and that’s great. Shore up your plan and know that we are here for you!

I have lots on my plate today, so I’m off to get ‘er knocked out. I feel so much better when I’m productive - yet I’m so prone to indulging in the perpetual state of really just getting nothing of consequence done.

Happy Monday!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!!
Fly-by for me, too.. probably all I'll be doing these last days of our visit with family..

But I do want to welcome back Tony! Actiongirl! Nanette! SSD! and Choices! Good to have you all back with us in the Nest..
Kim, it's great that you came right back.. I believe that as long as we never give up, our quits will stick at some point. Most important is to learn from our "mistakes".. how can we prevent what happened from happening again? Which tools can we put in to place that we didn't?
Gman and NS, great posts about accepting and letting go of the past.. seems like it's one of my life's works. But it is getting better! and like you said, J-vo, with some more sobriety, a lot of things will clear up/get better without much effort. Not everything, but a lot.. I keep my mind focussed on what Ava always says, "as long as I don't drink it's a good day". Of course it's not always a good day.. but drinking will definitely make it worse! Well done on your 7 days! I'm very happy that you're back..
Ava!! 1500 days is amazing! Must mean Pav is coming up on that milestone as well! Congratulations to you both.. that is a huge one.
Hugs and strength and love to all of you..

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,

I don't have a lot to say today but wanted to show up. I'm feeling a little down. I couldn't keep up the pace of the holidays, but I have mixed emotions about it all being over. I wasn't drinking overly heavy this holiday season but I did drink more then I had been. I'm very glad I've quit. Alcohol plays havoc with my emotional state of mind. So, it's a good thing that I won't have to worry about that as I pull out of this funk, before it turns into depression. I'm glad to be back on my diet (all it is really is eating healthy, no sugar.. smaller portions less carbs.. etc.).

The most success with being AF is when I was eating right and exercising. I think when I feel icky is when I go for the drink or for overeating. Both go hand and hand for me, the cravings are the same. I could be feeling the effects of detoxing from both probably, and I'm being a bit to hard on myself.. So I'd better ease up and just take this week slow and be super gental with myself.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening Nestees,

Back to work but overall a productive day and no crazy kid stories. I love those kinds of days. Just felt exhausted when I got home, and the weather doesn't help. But another day of AF and it's a good day.

Ava, you're a rock star with 1500 days under your belt. That's so amazing and I'm goin for what you have.:welldone:

Choices, I have those ups and downs but true only way to go while down is up and you'll get there. I think we're hard on ourselves when we aren't feeling on top of the world. Really, that's not reasonable to be that way 24/7. There are so many factors that can play into our feelings and emotions, but I know that if I try to analyze everything, I'm not getting anything done. It'll even out. Hang in there.

Kim, glad you're here.

LC, enjoy those last days. Yes, I need to let the past stay in the past and forgive myself.

Moon, I know all too well about anxiety as well. That's a huge trigger. Do you have a plan when your anxiety spikes?

Have a good night all.

Jvo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Two weeks of below freezing weather & now we're getting an ice storm. Really, who ordered this?? It surely wasn't me.

Great to see everyone on this chilly Monday.

Ava, Congrats on your 1500 & who are you calling an oldie? HA HA!!!
I'm coming up on 9 years in about 2 1/2 months - don't even know how many days that is All I know is that we just have to keep moving forward, one day at a time!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great coogly moogly, I just finished a 13.5 hour day. I am brain dead. Im also a bit mad. Im helping a coworker with a bid request. He says he is spilitting it with me, but so far, I have done all the work and it has been a lot of work. Its due Wednesday at noon. The other guy was supposed to call at two, but didnt make it til 3:30. We fun led thru the stores to bid, he said if I would finish the one group, he would do the other two groups (they had fewer stores) so by this time, it was almost 5. I saw his light go out (we can tell who is online) and I continued to work til 8:30. We are supposed to get together in the morning. I would bet my last dime he wont have done them. He swore he d get up early in the morning so he could finish his. I really wanted him and me to work together on them, it flows better with two people. I know he bowed out ao he could go drink. He was getting aggitated. Just like I used to do. He wanted/needed to get away to get his first fix. Yesterday, he said he had to leave at 3:30. Im sitting around a lot of the time waiting on him. I get stuck on stuff. Ugg!

Well, I should be thankful its not me going MIA in the afternoon to drink. I should be thankful for that and I am.
Im beat, hope everyone had an easy day. Byrdie

[moonking]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - 15 minutes at a party where I felt I had to be somewhat discreet. At home…fair game. If hubby left the room I was back at that box of wine filling it up to the top and then gulping it down before he came back in the room to pretend I was still at the amount I was at. How I did not suffer from chronic heartburn THEN, I have no idea.

Kim - keep coming back! It’s what has helped solidify my mind that I need to quit for sure. The people here are so wonderful and non-judgmental, even when I did screw up.

jvo - Good question. I’m working on a few things. Someone mentioned (I think) awhile back to try and remember that the anxiety feeling will eventually pass, but we must sit with it for awhile. It’ll suck for awhile, but it’ll pass. This is a good reminder, but practicing is a lot harder. The last therapist I saw mentioned a technique (can’t remember the name of it) where you start listing things you can see when you feel an attack coming on. Something like, “The grass is green. The grass is connected to the driveway. The driveway is gray. My car is in the driveway. My car is red.” Just stupidly obvious things. This has worked really well for me in the past, but again it’s remembering to do it. I have told my husband that there are going to be times when I just have to leave places and find somewhere quiet for awhile. This happens most times in crowded places like big box stores or at parties with very little room and lots of people. Especially if I’m bombarded at the door right away. For me the biggest thing is just gaining some control back, though. When I drink, everything kind of just goes by the wayside. I used to think this made me relaxed and laid back, which was a good thing, right? But really it was just making me lazy and depressed. I have to find a good balance between neurotic and normal, but regular exercise like running and eating better (with some splurges here and there!) and having a cleaning routine at home really help calm my anxiety.

Byrdie - my goodness, you work so hard! I can’t imagine. Sometimes my 8 hour days feel draining! Sorry you are dealing with such a shitty co-worker. I don’t know how to handle people like that - you’re a better person than I am!

9 years, Lav? That’s so amazing!

Well, I got a huge jump on my work project yesterday so I’m feeling pretty good. And new countertops today - which means now I need to get working on painting cabinets and redoing the grout as well as picking out a backsplash. Let’s just hope a backsplash doesn’t take me 5 years like counters did. Did some cleaning out and have a car load of stuff to take to Goodwill, which feels so dang good. Little one is back to having a nasty cough (never ends this time of year) so very little sleep for all, which means I’m not getting up to exercise…but that’s OK. Sleep is probably more important at this point for my mental health.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day! We’re nearing the 50s today, which means everything will melt and be muddy…but that’s OK. My heating bill needs a big of a break.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Choices - good job on day one of getting back to your diet. You'll probably start to feel the benefits of that pretty soon!

Kim - sorry to hear about the slip, but glad you hopped right back in the nest. You know how to do this. Take a look at where there was a hole in your plan (or where your plan got stuck in your pocket maybe?) and make a few small changes. Before you know it you'll be several days in again.

Lav - so sorry to hear about your firefighter friend. I think that is one of the professions I admire the most, and it's always sad to hear of a loss under any circumstance. Congrats on your upcoming 9 years though!!! Byrdie - start working on some new cake designs now

Ava - I totally missed this in my last post, but :congrats: on 1500 days!!! I love numbers like that. Yep, at the beginning the big numbers seem impossibly far away, and yet one day at a time really does add up. Fantastic job friend!

Kensho - I hear you about productivity - I always feel better when I knock several things off, although sometimes it's easy to let that become the goal and the tasks are reduced to non-essentials simply to have the satisfaction of crossing several things off. Sigh... There are days I wish I had a clone who would do the few things that I seem to avoid but are probably the things I need to do the most! You sound solid though - hope you're starting to feel the positive benefits of your quit!

Byrdie - your co-worker sounds challenging. Group or partner work seems to be one of those things that many people detest (and avoid when possible) simply due to the fact that there are always those slackers who let others carry the weight. I hope to hear that he showed up this morning with all of his end of the work done and ready to wrap things up before your deadline.


Yikes, I know I'm not catching everyone but unfortunately I have to fly for now.

Waves to Moon, Jvo, Gman, LC, Action, Pav, QW, Nar, and everyone else stopping by today. Have great days/eves!!!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest--

One of the things I like about the article I posted was that discussion of the physiology of drinking. It makes sense that we drink it to feel less anxiety, and it makes sense that it stops working...

Kim, what happened? Can you set yourself to avoid that situation next weekend? It is great that you came right back.

Moon - I spent this weekend cleaning out stuff and took one car load to the dump and one to Goodwill. Very satisfying. My husband and I can both be lazy about fixing up things around our house, and we have a New Year's resolution to try to get more done and fixed up around here. We have a music/TV/work room that is chaotic, and it will take a while, but we want to tame it and make it a more pleasant place to be. One problem I have is that I want to do it (any job) ALL in one day. For this one, we broke it up into stages so that it will take longer, but we will work some every weekend. It feels good to have a plan and to begin to execute it.

Byrdie - Argh. I would be so irritated if I were you. I hope you get the credit for that proposal...

I used to set time limits for myself for the next drink at parties. It sounds so crazy to me now. Who has time to think about alcohol all the time? I can't believe how much of my life it used to take up. Thank goodness I'm free from that.

Off to work. Happy Sober Tuesday!
Pav

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good to see the migration back to the nest.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good to see the migration back to the nest.

Yes, it sure is! In the past when MWO has been really slow, it kind of bummed me out and I would start thinking it was pointless to participate. I tried to figure out why I cared about how many people were here. What difference should that make?

One thing I realized it that the forum is more interesting and vibrant when there are people at various stages of quitting - each stage brings with it a unique perspective. It is most fulfilling to help someone in the early days because the changes are so BIG. But if a person has been AF for a relatively long time, it sometimes is hard to remember how tough those early days are. So it's good if someone newer to AF living is around to chime in. What we lack around here are people with 20, 30, or 40 years of sobriety. I see comments from them on my twitter feed sometimes - they radiate stability and warmth.

Another thing that might be involved is that we want to be connected - and the more the merrier! Chandler talks about this in the book I suggested yesterday. He noted that when he has an illness like the flu and feels like it's an assault on him personally, he immediately feels better when he hears that it is "going around" and that lots of people are sick. He asks if this makes him some type of weird sadist but concludes that no, it's the natural human impulse to be part of a group, connected to something bigger than our own little ego. He talks about in-person AA meetings helping people connect but it turns out many of the same things can happen here. And when we see cool, bright, interesting people who share our problem, it seems less like a personal failing and more like part of the human condition. It doesn't seem so scary and we can see that it is possible to recover. The more people we connect with and the more we see that we are all connected and part of something much bigger than we imagined, the more we want to help one another gain the lives full of inner peace and contentment we deserve and that can come when we get past addictions - of all kinds.

I spent most of my life trying to be exceptional in all ways. It is such a relief to be contentedly normal, whatever that means, living the best life I can in sync with my fellow humans.

xx, NS

[tonyniceday]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nest... day 3 now and got my meds so things are a little easier...the NHS let me down yesterday and I finished upbuggibg my gp and the shrink....guess what...today I got 2 lots of meds...one from each.....you couldn't make it up!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola Nesters near and not so far,

Congrat's on day 3 Tony. Do what you have to do.

NS. Connection! Yep, real important i reckon. Human connection. A phone convo, posting here, an email, in person face to face.....all or any of the above. Keep connected my friends. Isolation is a killer and one of our common traits.

Byrdy, what are those clowns up to now?!

All good here. Big waves to eva'bodee.

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola Gman! This time next week I’ll be in sunny Mexico. I’ve been practicing my Spanish which used to only consist of Dos pina colada por favor. Got to get some new lines!

My son just got home to Melbourne after a 3 week trip to North America. Sadly he got caught in that nasty storm that hit the east coast and was 2 days delayed getting home. And his luggage, last time we heard, was in Terminal 4 at JFK, the terminal that flooded. At least he’s warm now.

We’re going to an all inclusive resort near Tulum for 10 days. In the past this has been my weakness as it’s far too easy to have al. Thankfully I’ll be able to check in here on a regular basis.

As my buddy in Straylia says, L8trG8trs!

QW