Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jvo - I'm so sorry to hear about all of your frustrations with work/school, partly because it sucks that you feel so badly, but even more so because of the larger circumstances that have largely created the whole situation. I've never been a K-12 teacher, but I've worked in the field of education/training my whole life, and I'm the daughter, granddaughter, niece, and wife of K-12 teachers so I've been very aware of various issues with U.S. public schools my whole life. The general trend toward standardized testing, and how this testing determines so many things for students, teachers and entire school communities just makes me angry and sad. When you then factor in lower socio-economics within a particular school and/or district, it seems that everything gets magnified and not for the better. Our system needs some serious overhaul, and I fear that it will not move in the right direction under the current federal leadership. Ultimately, the students pay the biggest price but the teachers are not far behind. I've seen loads of really fantastic educators leave the profession simply because the system is so stacked against any real success. Sigh... I'm so sorry to hear what you're dealing with, and I'm sure it must have been a kick in the gut to have your evaluation down-graded as it was. GREAT job with not drinking though! You're right, it wouldn't help in any way and would likely make things worse.

Kensho - it does sound like maybe your friend struggles with al as well. When I started this quit back in summer 2016, I actually "hid" it within the context of doing Whole 30 as that seemed easier to explain. I wasn't able to stick with all of the strict parameters of W30, but I stayed entirely off grain for quite some time. Lo and behold, I started to feel and look infinitely better, and that became my "excuse" to continue not drinking. I'm now toying with trying another at least 30 days grain free because I think I need those benefits again. I'm starting with just a 30-day break from ice cream since that got totally out of hand last year. Anyway, I hope at some point she's able to open up to you if in fact she has a similar struggle. Wouldn't that be great to have a quit buddy in real life!

Choices - good luck with your paper!

Tony - glad to hear you got the AB, and even more that you're living in a supportive environment. I actually feel like environment is huge for me. I hope this gives you the time to heal your system and to explore your relationship from multiple angles. for now, take your AB and rack up those days, but also take the time to re-build your tool kit and your inner reserves.

Byrdie - ugh, sorry your colleague is such a PITA!!! Fingers crossed for today!

Pav - thanks for the link to the article - I've got it opened in a tab to read today.

Hugs and waves to everyone stopping by the nest!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Sorry for your situation, J-Vo. Sounds brutal. The idea of teacher evaluations based on test scores when you have so little control of what and how you teach sounds ludicrous. Sorry for your situation, too, Byrdie.

LC - I hate that feeling of not being able to get away. Next time find a nook in the library and stay there for a bit! A warm bath? Hope you find some peace.

It is funny that as a perfectionist I spent so many years making an a$$ out of myself through drink. Right now the thought of losing control like I have so many times seems crazy. I can't believe that I ever WANTED to do that...

Tony - sorry for your insomnia. I like reading a good book - it takes my mind off of what I am thinking. Also, warm milk. And plenty of exercise during the day...

Off to the salt mines.

Pav

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Moon, I know what you mean about the availability of al at an all inclusive resort. I wish you could buy a package that included everything but al. The resort makes money off of us!

We’ve stayed at this resort before. The mini fridge is stocked with domestic beer and lots of soft drinks. I plan to speak with the beverage supplier the first day and ask him to give us extra soft drinks and no beer.

The food at this resort is fabulous. We always try local dishes and haven’t been disappointed yet. My only problem with food seems to occur at the breakfast buffet. No matter how fast I walk past the hot food, bacon seems to jump right onto my plate! Sometimes sausages too!

I’m glad your Mom got sorted out about ordering dos cervezas!

QW

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi QW and everyone! I’m on my phone in a lunch place stuffing my face with a new bunch of Paleo sides they offer. Nothing has ever tasted so good to me!! I’m ravenous and gaining a craving for healthy, low carb, low crap food! HA! Proves that if you do anything long enough, it becomes natural. I’ve been feeling strong in my quit and in my health, a good day. Aside from the 80’s music choices playing here (Think “Maniac” from Flashdance!)

Perfectionism is my flaw too, and maybe why I tend to procrastinate. Seems like a common thread. Trying to learn that “good enough” is better than not done at all. On that note, good luck with your paper Choices. Get ‘er done!!

Hi to everyone else. Byrdie, hope your co-worker doesn’t hold you up too much. MOON and WAGS, you sound strong. LIFECHANGE & TONY, how’s it going today?

I’m off to be creative and charm a new potential client. Have a good day everyone!!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nest

Its been a busy week trying to get back into the swing of things with work but i have no stress and that feels so good. i never thought people went to work and enjoyed it but they do.

Tony i had bad headaches and insomnia for weeks and weeks. i just felt like the life had been drained out of me i was just bone tired. i did find that just napping when i was tired helped as if i waited till "normal" time to sleep i was overtired and would not sleep. your body is trying to heal itself so be gentle on it. i figured if i was awake for hours and hours at least i had gotten some sleep and i just read on mwo or watched doco's on the damage al did to me. i am still not a good sleeper but i figure 4 hours of a good sleep are better than 4 hours of a drunken coma. Im grateful i open my eyes each and every day.

J, dont stress yourself about work, you can only do your best and feel proud that you are helping the kids. stress leads to drinking and must be avoided if at all possible in the early days. There is no point in drinking AT anyone as the only person it harms is yourself.

Well day 8 for me nf and im plodding along. still not happy about this as i did like smoking but i did like drinking also so if i keep the same attitude that i had with giving up drinking then i will deal with it. Ive pulled up my big girl pants and on i go.

Well i have a work meeting to go to and it will be an hour of my life that i will never get back but the boss wants me to go so off i go.

take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola Nesters.

Well done on day 8 nf Ava!

Teachers should really be looked after properly by governments. It's such an honourable profession, and teachers are people who have great knowledge and passion for sharing. We need to look after you! Similar scenario's exist here for our teachers i'm told. Silly expectations and deadlines. All business/funding driven. Noooooo, governments need to stand up and just manage and absorb any costs properly. Most taxpayers will agree given the importance of education!

Q Dub. You off to Mexico again? Sounds good bro!

Checking in on day er........oh yeah, 134 i think. Hey, i'm only 46 days away from my first target of 6 months. that'll be a real milestone for me. I'm going for it.

Git some self lovin' in today K? K. Big waves to everyone. :llama:

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

Well done Ava on day 8, not smoking. It gets easier and easier I promise. I use to like it too. Now that I'm studying again, it's so strange not to take smoke breaks.. I don't know what to do with myself! I think that's where my horrible snacking has tripped me up. So my brain is craving some type of alteration through out the day. It's tough these addictions. So I didn't cheat on my diet yesterday, and I can feel myself beginning to function better. I did not worry about drinking at all, but it is interesting that when I do come here I begin to worry about never drinking again. It's a silly worry. I think it's a commitment issue. So I'll just sit with that and keep adding up days. Day 5 today and feeling glad about this path.

I sent a rough draft of my term paper to my school's librarian to proof-read. I still have the blooming conclusion to write and more padding on the intro. But I am nearly there. It's due 9 am tomorrow morning and I feel like I will have it in well before then. I absolutly hate pulling all nighters this time back in school. In my twenties it was tough, but kind of "cool" in a weird way.. Now with a 5 year old and husband --- Not cool at all--- just stressful and I get migraines if I do that now.

I am enjoying reading everyones thoughtful posts. I wanted to talk to the part about support. I don't really know anyone who has gone about questioning or quitting their drinking either. Most of my friends in 2010 when I came to MWO were heavy drinkers and it felt so weird to be the odd one out. I can't remember all the times I've come back here, but when I came back in 2015 after 4 years AF most of my friends where people who didn't drink. My friends now are still those friends. They have NO IDEA that I have issues with alcohol. The way I see it, is it's my business.

In 2010, my first quit I told everyone and anybody who would listen that I was in recovery. It felt good. Over the past years, I have started to notice that the people I come in contact with are quite busy in their own lives, as am I. Drinking is a non-issue really. There is the odd moms night out.. where maybe half of the moms have like one bottle between the 6 of them. Definately not my old scene at all! Now all my peer pressure moments are with food, and all of my mom friends are fat, (or more to love size) like myself.

So I'm no longer in the drinking crowd, or the smokers corner, but eating cake in the cafe. All of these addictions of mine old or new, involve relating to a group in someway. And I always have anxity quitting any of those things with my drinking, smoking, or eating buddies. My craving is the same. Just, pardon the pun, food for thought. Ok-- I am back to that dang paper.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone checking in & love the positive reports

Ava, Choices & everyone who has dealt with the pain of quitting smoking......
I can honestly tell you that it was THE hardest thing I have ever done in my life!!! Turned out to be much harder than quitting drinking, go figure. All I could think of was that I smoked a lot longer than I ever drank so maybe the connection was deeper, don't know. But I will tell you that I am so grateful that I stuck it out. I have no more quits left in me, I am pretty sure. Keeping both my quits has to be priority!

jvo, it is sad that schools are being run like businesses these days, unfortunately so are hospitals. You know as well as I do that when you are dealing with people you need some heart & feelings. The cold hard cash side of running a hospital does not interest me, therefore retirement came a little earlier than I had planned. I gave all that I had to give in my nearly 30 year career. I hope you can find some resolution, I know it's difficult.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nest,

Thank you all for your thoughts and support with my job. I really do love teaching so much, love teasing, laughing with, and encouraging the kids. When we don't have so many behavior problems that disrupt the day and learning, it's an amazing feeling to be able to serve these kids. I love making them laugh about stupid things because it's so fun to see them happy. Just making stupid faces, gestures will get them rolling and me, too.

Moon, thanks for sharing that. I know we're not alone anywhere in the US with the same educational issues. I don't know much about other countries except I wanna move to Finland to teach because they're the most happy there. That's appalling and inhumane that they do that to kids without sufficient funds. Seriously, how damaging that is to those children, their self esteem, their self worth. It makes me livid and sick. If a lunch lady did that in front of me, I'd have to deck her.

Unfortunately Lav, the longer I'm in this career, the less I can handle in seeing how this system is slowly and surely disservicing the children. It's hard to take and like you said, the feeling and heart is a huge part of this job. Unfortunately, the business side doesn't have the same goals as we do, those who make the decisions as to what's right for the kids.

Wags, thanks for sharing also. Our school district, who doesn't get the scores lose funds. The more affluent districts get more funding for good scores. The differences in tech is so awful. We have 30 laptops to use among 11 teachers, yet the rich schools have an iPad for each child. Just like what moonking said about the poor child who doesn't get a lunch. Same thing. Sad.

Thanks for that comment, G.

Well, my perfectionist friends, and I'm sure there are more of us...Kensho, Pav, NS, Moon, I believe that is a characteristic of our addictive personalities. Or is it a byproduct of addiction. Whatever it is, I hope that with sober time, I can learn to see it for what it really is. Perfectionism is bullshit and stupid and unrealistic. It's so unnecessary to be the best, have the top scores, and believe that society, who makes us think we should conform to the prettiest, skinniest, smartest, and funniest, has nothing to do with who I am.

Tony, it sounds like you put yourself in the place where you will be successful. And since you know AB worked before, it will again.

Choices, I don't know if you watch "This Is Us" but the show that aired last night talks about addictions in the same family but in different forms. One had an addiction to pills and alcohol, while the other has an addiction to food. People that aren't addicts to either food, pills, alcohol or whatever it is, find healthy ways to deal with stress, maybe? Glad you're feeling well and good luck with your paper.

I messaged a friend earlier and said this...

Morning. Sorry a bit late, but just got up from my nap. I decided it's not that I want to take a nap, but I need to take a nap. If I'm honest, I was a napper from the day I was born. And I just love to get under those covers after such a long day and sleep it off a bit. I like naps on Saturdays, on vacations, on any day that starts with the sun and ends with the moon. Well, you did what you had to do so you didn't cave and cereal is a great choice. I love breakfast for dinner sometimes. And you saved yourself from a bunch of bricks by making that choice.��. I had a better day today. I didn't think about all the bad shit that is going on because I can't control it. It's out of my hands. I did have a thought of how a nice, a cold Chardonnay would taste and I started to salivate which isn't good. That means I'm not ready to have dinner out, and I almost am sad thinking about a nice dinner with lots of wine. Romanticizing is not good, so after a thought like that, I should say to myself, "sure that first one would taste awesome, but the 10th one I would regret," because that's what would happen. That first, so yummy glass is not unhealthy at all, except for an alkie like me because I can't just have one and I don't want just one. I want to have as many as I can so that I don' to hurt so much. Numbing is what I'm going for, but obliteration is what inevitably happens.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh, QW, I was just in Mexico this past summer. Cancun. And yes, our frig was always stocked. Good idea to tell them to just stock with other beverages, I was drinking when I went, and I didn't have a great time. I only cared about the alcohol. I didn't care about all of the cool excursions or even the food. My priority was that I got my fix when I wanted it, which was always. Three years ago, I went on the same vacation sober,p. I checked in with MWO everyday. I think I had four months at the time. I felt a bit left out, just not ready to watch people drinking and having a good time. There wifi, so check in with us while you're there.

And thinking of vacations, I don't think I'll want to take that kind of a vacation anymore. I've been there, done that. I love the beach, but I don't want the all inclusive scene. Too many people, crowds, and not my idea of rest and relaxation, especially for a sober girl. I'd like to try and be more adventurous and eventually when our kid is out of college, make our way to different parts of the US. So many beautiful places to see that I've only dreamed of. Oh, and wanna take a trip back to Italy. Maybe to Aussie Land!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great post Jvo. getting numb which end in obliteration.........yep.

I now know i need to remember this about myself. My drinking always attempts to fill some kind of inner void, and i don't like the sound or idea of that. What is my inner void? Why is there an emptiness that's not readily apparent for the world to see......or for me to see and remember/acknowledge it is there? An otherwise fairly positive and happy chappy. Interesting. I can't put my finger on it, but when i drink, i love to keep going until i pass out, more often than not. So Gman, what r u gonna do? Well, my thinking is to get busy living doing only or mainly stuff i love. This includes career/work, people, environment i live in. And this is what i'm doing. Just some thoughts.

Ooroo!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just dropping by to say hi. I’m working long days right now and it’s colder than hell. It is supposed to go down to-28C in the morning.
Happy to be sober

Btw I’ve been reading a few posts, nice to see so many of them.

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Jvo!

I’ve read with interest your recent posts on the state of the school where you teach. It must be frustrating to see how quickly hard work can be undone, especially when you care.

We fly into Cancun and the resort where we stay is about an hours drive south. This will be our 3rd time in Mexico. On our first visit I climbed the pyramid at Coba. What an experience! I’m not too concerned about avoiding al while we’re there, I just need to be on guard.

I highly recommend Australia as a holiday destination but plan to be there at least 3 weeks. We were in the Brisbane area 10 years ago and had a wonderful time. I have fond memories of enjoying a flat white coffee on Gallery Walk on Mt. Tambourin.
I’d recommend a minimum of 3 weeks in order to see some of the scenery - Cairns, Gold Coast, Sydney, Melbourne. It’s a huge country but definitely worth exploring.
I remember being in a Woolies (Woolworths) and seeing a sign that read No Shirt, No Shoes, No Worries! Got to love the attitude!!

This will be our 3rd time in Mexico. The first time we toured the pyramids at Tulum and Coba. I climbed the pyramid at Coba - what an experience! Last time we toured the pyramid at Chichen Itza, another incredible experience.

Jvo, I’m a flag waving patriot and I’d be remiss if I didn’t suggest a vacation in western Canada. The Rocky Mountains are spectacular! The Maritime provinces are pretty nice too as are the folks who live there.

I wish you all the best Jvo in dealing with your work situation. As you pointed out, there are things you can’t change. You’ve made a difference in the lives of countless students over your career, take pride in that. Those important to you know your dedication and your success.

QW

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all, great posts, as alwas.
Im beat and falling asleep as I write ZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. Have a great evening. Byrdie

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

QW,
The excursions are supposedly really fun and so many cool sights to see. You'll have a great time, and I'm sure it'll be such a treat being in warm temps at this time of the year. Thanks for all of this recommendations. We aren't able to do that now, but if I keep on this sober road, or should I say since I'll be sober, we can plan these adventures because I'll be healthy enough to enjoy them. At the rate I was going, I don't think my liver or other organs would have made it for too much longer. I've been to Canada about 9 times in my younger years. My grandparents would take us to niagra falls and we loved it. Never made it further, but I'm sure it's a beautiful country. I'd also love to take a Toronto trip.

We also stayed about an hour south of the airport. I can't remember the name but it was three connected resorts. Beautiful, but the time we went was too hot. This is a perfect time to go!