Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello all!
I’ve been at a wedding all weekend. We attended the rehearsal and dinner on Friday night. Then on Saturday, we started out at 7am preparing the venue for 170 guests. It was brutal on my poor feet in my new shoes. Last night the party was really rolling and the AL was flowing. If there was anybody else there not drinking, I didnt see them. My BIL asked me to dance so that was something new for me....sober dancing. I think I threw out a hip!
We had a blast. It IS possible to have run and BE fun withour AL. There were a lot of folks who looked like 40 yards of hell this morning, so glad I wasnt one of them.
Hope everyone is sticking to PLAN. We were worried about a lot of things this weekend, Im so glad that anxiety over AL wasnt on that list for me. No struggles, no voices, just wonderful! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, it’s so nice to have a UnHung Sunday. I have been reading, cooking and talking to a few friends on the phone or by text. I am staying inside because it is Freezing outside. -19C and I don’t have to go anywhere so I’m am hunkering down inside.
If I was drinking I would open up a bottle and have a glass of wine and then spend the rest of the day trying not to drink the rest of the bottle. This would end in failure and by about 7pm I would be drunk. Then hungover for work tomorrow. I am grateful to be out of that cycle.

Hey G, 5 months, like Robs said, you Raawk! Keep it up Hey, Moon, same with you. 5 months is great.

Ken, isn’t it nice going to a concert and remembering it? I love that. It’s cool that your hubby went and had coffee with you. He obviously doesn’t have a problem with AL. I can’t even imagine going for a coffee after drinking AL. What would be the point, right?

Lav, positive affirmations worked for me and still do. We need all the help we can get.

Life, I didn’t really click with anyone from AA, not like I clicked with you all on MWO. The great people whom I met here are the ones that helped keep me sober.

JVo, I hope your Sunday is going well. Keep taking care of yourself, you are worth it. Your son is lucky to have sober mom to provide such great support.

Hi Byrdie , Pav, everyone.
Xo

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone! It’s a three day weekend so I have my littlie home with me and busy as! I’m caught up on my reading finally! I was listening to Belles book I’m Tired of thinking about drinking. There is are these group phone call sessions recorded at the end that I listened to around 2am in the morning because I could not settle my mind to sleep. It is really hard for me to write this. I kinda thought I might take this to my grave when it smacked me in the face last night. I only did this once (once is criminal enough)I am so ashamed of myself but making a massiveness promise to my daughter in my mind that I will never ever do this again, and try to forgive myself and keep that promise forever.

I vaguely remember going sober for 30 days after I woke up the next day on my own because I scared myself. In the past 4 years drinking again.. I did 14-30 day stints when I sacred myself. I did a longer one but I can’t remember how long that one was... anyway... It is killing me inside that I did this.

When she was about 1.5 yrs old (6 months into me drinking again) my husband was away for business. I had grown to really love getting drunk at night and being in my own thoughts. Ug, my throat is actually closing up and I’m getting emotional. But I need to admit it somewhere to someone, have it in writing to remind myself. I had drank a bottle and was lit. My daughter was still awake. I craved more so badly that I put her in her little car seat and drove to get another bottle. I told her we needed more milk for her. I am ill. this memory came hauntingly back to me when Belle mentions, people doing this in this recording at the end of the book.

I am very grateful that nothing happened, as far as crashing, or my daughter getting physically hurt or me hurting other people on the road. But something DID happen that I will never be able to reconcile. I did this neglectful act to my daughter because my craving for alcohol was more important. I can never drink again. Full stop. Thanks for listening.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Choices, thanks for sharing. It helps to say it out loud. I would bet that most people here have experiences they are ashamed about. And you said it: THAT is why we stop drinking. Hug yourself my friend, you are admitting your mistakes and regrets and moving forward in a better direction. :hug:

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ashamed at past drinking behaviours? Sheesh! Where do i start?! I'll just say - I have been greedy, selfish, inconsiderate, rude, more of the selfish, self interested, self obsessed, me me me obsessive, selfish thinking and behaviour all geared towards ME and my selfish impulsive tantrums and base desires. What a prize chump! Well, i recognise this and am turning it around.

One thing that i've found i need to address to be sober is feeling overwhelmed. Whatever is overwhelming me, stressing me, distressing me. If i don't drill down and uncover what that is, i will just keep drinking because i dont know what else to do. No plan basically. I need a plan to chip away at whatever is overwhelming me, and eliminate it or the perception of it. I'm great now, but this has been my kryptonite in the past. Just some thoughts.

Byrdy, i think i saw you on you tube an hour ago.......:dancin:

Big wave to all.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening Nest,

It's been a pretty low-key weekend. Did what I had to do, but nothing more.

Lav, I know I must take care of myself before caring for son. It makes me cringe when I wasn't caring for myself and had to rely on husband to do my part so many times. Bookmarked some good affirmations.

LC, it sounds like you'd benefit from the rational recovery program. Did you ever look into it? Let's keep working at this GF.

Roobs, I've drunk thru illnesses. Wow, cringe.

Nar, so good to read your posts. Thanks for the support. Stay warm, Friend. It's finally warming a bit on my side of the nest.

Choices, that was a brave and honest post. That's what we need to come to terms with...the fact that we've actually taken that risk so that we know we must not keep al in our lives. When we take risks that endanger ourselves or anyone, we need to seriously reevaluate our lives. I know I'm ashamed of the many, many risks I've taken. When we have pity parties, maybe we should think about those times and be thankful that we aren't going to hurt anyone anymore.

Going to watch some of the Grammys and maybe they'll wear some clothes that cover most parts of their bodies. Huh! Not, I'm sure.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone!
It was a rainy day here so I just stayed home, cooked a little, did some reading............easy day

Byrdie, the wedding cake came out beautifully!! Looks like the wedding went as planned, perfect

G, it's just my opinion but I think we all fear fear - if that makes any sense.
Even if/when everything is going well I can (but won't) get myself into fearing the future, the unknown. I had to teach myself to stay focused on today only. It was hard breaking that lifelong genetic habit of worrying about future events that may or may not actually happen. If I feel that old fear coming on I know now to stop it in it's tracks! Nope, not going there

LC, keep looking & you will find your tribe. In the meantime you have all of us :hug:

Choices, I am grateful that we have all gotten thru those dark times alive & reasonably well. The more distance you put between yourself & AL the more determined you will be to never go there again.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[actiongirl46]

Re: Newbies Nest

Choices, thanks for such an amazing post. I really needed to hear that. My many instances of selfish stupid behavior due to AL were like a black cloud on me today. Although I need to remember, it can be overwhelming and I don't want it to come back and bite me this time.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Choices, thank you for the post. We have all done some really stupid things while drinking. I still think about the stupid things I did once in awhile. I guess it’s good to remember why we are here. There is no use beating ourselves up about it though. What’s done is done- now it’s time to stay present. Take care of ourselves and our family, one day at a time.
I try not to think too far into the future because it can be pretty overwhelming..
JVo, may watch a bit of the Grammy’s too. Yeah let’s see what everyone is wearing

AGirl, Lav,G, have a good one.

Don’t drink today.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

J-Vo, I had some time and read back this weekend. I'm sorry for what your son is going through, and I hope you find some support and peace for both of you.

G - I am glad you decided to camp out here in the nest with us! Your positive energy is contagious!

Byrdie - That made me laugh. I love dancing and weddings and food! What a great weekend?? Did you make the cake?

Choices - I am sure we all have painful memories. What's important now is that you don't drink. Period. Keep it up.

Narilly - Do you EVER leave the house when it is -19?? Holy cow - it was down in the low 50s (that's 10 to you?) here, and I was about to die.

Everyone - glad you had successful, sober weekends. My friends got over served last night - only SLIGHTLY annoying. I stayed up with them laughing and having fun, and as predicted I felt smug and unhung...

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION] - sorry to hear about your chicken
[MENTION=22540]Choices[/MENTION] - thanks for your courage and honesty to share that story. As Kensho said, it usually does help to get it out in the open. I'd be willing to bet most of us have done things we regret and/or are ashamed of while drinking - I know I've got quite a list. I applaud your honesty with yourself and with us. I hope you are able to learn what you can from the experience and then also forgive yourself in all the healthy ways that applies. :hug:


Just a quick fly-by tonight - hope everyone is happy and well after good weekends. I'm exhausted from working today but I'll take that over drunk or hungover ANY day.

Catch you all tomorrow!

[K1wiBro]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Guys,

man I've had a great weekend. Super busy too - yesterday went to one of my favourite beaches and had a surf, got stuck in holiday traffic and got home late and tired. This morning I was up early and caught a ferry to one of the islands in the harbour for a hike and a swim. I did the same thing last year on the very same day, but that time I was (very) hung over and the hike was a complete struggle and I remember not being in a good state of mind - I remember feeling anxious a lot and angry. This year was different, I hiked for an hour & a half to a nice bay, went for a swim then hiked for another 2 hours back to the ferry. I chilled out at home for a couple of hours then headed out to a beach for an evening swim, treating myself to a burger & chips on the way home. It's a great feeling to have actually spent the long weekend DOING something and feeling healthy rather than drinking to excess, laying round the house feeling sick and hung over and achieving NOTHING!
Today also marks a week for me not drinking - only 7 days but it has felt like longer (not neccessarily a bad thing), hard to think that this time last week I was downing 7 beers and eating awful take-away pizza. I've also spent some time this weekend thinking back over the previous year and remembering some of times I was drinking and I realised that the longest I went without Al in that time was a grand total of 13 days! So here on day 7, my main focus is to get to 13 and smash that record and continue onwards. Not drinking last Tuesday and breaking that cycle of daily drinking was so much harder than I would have ever thought so, and now that I have I really don't want to have to do it again. Of course my next goal after 13 days will be my previous total of 4.5 years - a much bigger goal but one I'm determined to get to!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kiwibro - Sounds like a fantastic weekend! Congrats to you on embracing the choice to LIVE over the holiday weekend instead of just having it. I really enjoy reading about how you're seizing this quit by the reins and taking it in positive directions. Great job on week one - looking forward to hearing how you celebrate and live through week two!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kiwi, congrats on 7 days!!! That is huge!! It does sound like a great weekend!

I feel hungover this morning, but I haven't had a drink in 49 1/2 days! Woo Hoo!

I have an interview this morning, and a week full of client tasks. I am trying to decide how to balance "heavy work = more $$", vs. "Light work = more happiness". I know the answer is somewhere in between, but I seem to fluctuate between the extremes. Taking a break over the holidays was nice, but I need to bill more. So here I go again, fired up to work and earn! In some ways, self-employment is perfect for me. In others, it is a challenge.

Anyway, Byrdie, did I miss this cake? Lav, those sneaky foxes. Sorry you lost a feathered friend. Enjoy the rain - I wish we had more of that in our parts!

Have a solid day - be true to yourselves!

[CER]

Re: Newbies Nest

I don't know what I am doing on this forum. I mean, how to work it. I thought I could start a new thread but I don't even see on the home page how to get to Newbies Nest. I followed a link that someone gave me in my post on starting out forum.