Newbies Nest

[CER]

Re: Newbies Nest

And I burnt my damn eggs trying to navigate this. grrrrr

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, you made it!
If you read back a few pages, you'll get to know the birds hanging out in this nest :wink:

[CER]

Re: Newbies Nest

I see...I think? It's not a topic forum just a running thread?

[CER]

Re: Newbies Nest

My second eggs made it to over done....better than burnt I guess.

[CER]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi.
I arrived here when I googled about tapering off alcohol and a post from 2014 came up.
The poster drank a bottle to a bottle and a half a night. She was wondering how to taper off and was encouraged to go cold turkey.
I am in the same boat but can drink a lot more than that once or twice a week. The main alcohol is red wine, sometimes Gin...beer.
I read horror stories about death from going cold turkey.
I've actually went cold turkey twice and it was ok but then I read that the more you cold turkey the more problems, withdraws and chances of death.
I would LOVE to go cold turkey and tapering is difficult because you get sucked right back in.
I was taking Neurotin but I had terrible side effects. The first side effect put me in the hospital over night.
It is a very difficult situation here as my husband can enjoy a few glasses a night (tops) with a cigar. He built himself a cigar room just for this purpose.
He hates how much I drink but it makes it difficult. I can't see him ever being social and not having alcohol present. It's not fair for me to ask him to quite so I can but I swear I wake up in the mornings and think I just need to move out. But we have two young children 11 and 14 (married 21 years).
HELP

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Welcome to the Nest, CER! I can't say that I ever had any luck with tapering.. I never stuck to the amounts I promised to myself. A lot of us were drinking a heck of a lot and stopped cold turkey.. Strongly suggested here is to try a 30 day alcohol free period to see how you feel. Usually within a couple of days you'll begin to feel better physically and mentally.. and you could talk about that with your husband to get his support for that period of time. This is an ongoing thread where we are in different stages of our quits.. it's a great place to get things off your chest! ask for advice, see what tools others are using to successfully get alcohol out of their (our) lives.. It's good to have you here!

Kiwi, that sounds like an awesome weekend! Good for you and big congrats on 7 days.. Keep up the good work!

Kensho, you're sounding great, too! Good luck with the extra work load and with finding the balance..

Gosh, now I've forgotten what else I wanted to write.. mind like a sieve today!:happy2: I actually had a good day at work.. long meetings, but I stayed present and they went well. I was very much aware of my AV today.. it was subtle but there and I talked to as if it were another being.. quite calmly, matter of fact.. stating that I don't drink and why his ideas were Bullshit/Stupid. Then I proceeded to tell him what I preferred, what would do me better. It was actually very cool and empowering and I'm hoping that if I practice each and every time he's there, even if he doesn't seem threatening, that when a whopper comes, I'll be more aware.. Anyway, it feels like a great new tool.

J-vo, you mentioned Rational Recovery.. I do remember checking that out a long time ago.. will have to go back and have a look- How are you feeling today?

Lav, I'm really sorry about your chicken.:hug:

Ava, how are you??

Ok. I'm going to read some emails, drink some tea and read..
will check back in before bedtime.
Hope everyone is doing well.. xx

[CER]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you for the nice reply and welcome.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Stick around, CER..
I'm off to bed now.. see you all tomorrow.

[CER]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well it's 5:15pm here. I have to work until 8.
I don't think I'll have much of a desire to drink tonight as I am wiped out from the weekend and also my stomach has that burning sensation that comes with drinking so much.
Accomplishing sobriety will be difficult since my husband goes downstairs to enjoy his two cigars and wine.
I don't know if I should expect him to help me or abstain.
He complained to a therapist about my drinking and she basically told him that if he expected me to get a grip how could I if HE is buying the alcohol and himself continues to drink.
He did this for a while but his hopes were that I would drink in moderation as a result. I think he just gave up and decided not to deprive himself just because I couldn't handle myself.
I don't know how I should feel about all that.
Any how I feel much better tonight then earlier.

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

CER — Welcome. You’ve stumbled into a great place to get, and stay, sober. Don’t worry about finding your way around here, you’ll master new threads and PMs quick enough — right now the Nest is a really good place to be. As Lifechange said, we’re all at different stages. And, we all learn from each other. Even better, we all support each other - at any stage! My advice based on the little I know about you is don’t drink. Eat something if you can — that should help with the tummy. Also, ginger ale. FYI - my husband had given up on me. Read on...)

Okay...Brydie, NS, Pav, Ava — super dooper congrats on your milestones! And, thank you all for my four year accolades (and cake Cowboy!) I’ve been wanting and waiting to write a thoughtful post on how I’ve grown this past year, and I still intend to, but life has just been deliciously busy lately. And to all others considering or maintaining sobriety— yeah—keep it up. And my heart is with all who have bravely posted about their trials (Hugs to Jvo, Choices, LC).

If there’s any quick summary for my growth in the 4th year of freedom, it’s about relationships. Every relationship I have is better, or eliminated (or minimized) if unhealthy. I have lots of new friends (fun, non or light drinkers), my relationship with my husband is really great, and for me most important, my relationship with my higher power (God for me) keeps getting more joyful. The past is the past, the future is welcoming. I don’t drink.

Hugs always,
Marylou

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome CER, nice to have you in the nest!
The best way to help yourself is by making a good working plan - plan to succeed!
Here's a link to the Tool box https://www.mywayout.org/community/j...-tool-box.html which is full of good ideas to help you get started.
If you have worries about withdrawal symptoms, please contact your doctor before you get yourself into a dangerous situation.

Kiwi, CONGRATS on your 7 AF days :welldone:
You had a fantastic weekend & not a drop of AL in sight, great!

I kept my remaining flock of chickens locked up today. I need to starve the fox population around here to get rid of them I think.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welome CER! You've found a friendly, supportive place. Embarking on a non-drinking path is hard with a husband that drinks - I have one myself But it is doable. Can you give yourself a solid 30 day goal to work toward? That isn't too long in the big scheme of things - and you will have so much more clarity and balance then to evaluate your situation. As we say around here, take manageable bites, and focus on one day at a time. Deciding to quit is a momentous first step, congratulations! What can help now is to make a "plan" as Lavande mentioned. In the beginning, I wrote down my triggers and made a plan as to how to deal with them. My plan looked something like this, since my witching hour was about 4pm every day:

- Don't stop at a liquor store; avoid driving past it on the way home
- cut up my secret "booze" credit card
- get a non-alcoholic drink in my hand as soon as I arrive home
- distract myself during cravings. This can be any number of things - counting ceiling tiles, saying the alphabet backwards, watching a favorite show, petting my dog, etc, etc.
- eat a ton. This was HUGE!! Having a full belly was very effective. I tended to crave a drink when feeling hungry.
- go to bed early
- acknowledge things I'm grateful for daily - or hourly. Or by the damn minute if I have to.
- make rewards for myself at 5 days AF (alcohol free), 10 days, 2 weeks, 30 days... this was very effective for me too
- generally put not drinking as a priority and take ultimate care of myself. Go to bed at 8pm, skip work, eat ice cream all day, say no to clients, etc.
- journal
- "Urge Surf" - you might want to look this one up via internet
- Visit MyWayOut as often as necessary - it was several times a day in the beginning, and I spilled my guts!

Eventually, the most effective part of my plan has been to tell people I've quit - my husband, my parents, my close friends. That way, they don't encourage me (usually), and support me.

There are LOTS of other great pieces of advice in the toolbox, so definitely check it out.

And I don't know much about withdrawal - I was lucky not to have much of that. But be sure to consult a Dr. if you are concerned about this.

Way to take the leap toward a better life - you won't regret it!!

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening Nest,

Hi CER. Welcome to the nest. I see so many birdies have already chirped their wise words. This is a pretty gifted nest, so don't fly away. As for your husband, let him do his thing. Just think about taking care of yourself, and of course your children. Just take it one minute, hour, day at a time for now. Like [MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] said, taking a small bit of Valium might be a good idea for the first week. Just get thru this day. Stay close, and keep on posting. Keep your tummy full.
[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION], do you have a gun? Damn foxes. We have them here, too, and my sister's chickens were eaten up by them. Actually, both my sisters have chickens and they both lost them.

I purchased the unexpected joy of being sober. I haven't read an alkie book in a long time and actually can't wait to start!

I'm exhausted. Going to iron, make lunch and find something to watch. I hate being in between shows. Found a new one, "resident."

Night.

Jvo

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh...Kiwi, what a lucky bird you are, to be able to be near the beach, surfing, lovely weather. Ima bit jealous!! Sounded so awesome. Glad you had a great day.

Jvo

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to go Kiwi, you will blow past 3 days for sure. I am a little jealous of your beach/ferry hike. It’s winter in Canada and it’s freez!

Hey CER, take care of yourself first. I quit drinking and my husband still drinks although he drinks Amy less now. I think I was a big influence on his drinking and he drank about 95% more when I was drinking. Glad your here. Keep reading and just don’t drink today.

There is a really good podcast called The Bubblehour which really helped me when I was new to this whole thing.

Kensho, those are great tips. You know what you are talking about.

JVo, I am Watching Peaky Blinders, it is awesome. Check it out on Netflix.

Goodnight xo