Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Nar - Back Off is right! It has taken me 4+ years, but I am finally telling more people about why I quit and how. The good friends I was with this weekend all knew I quit, but I never really talked about MWO or the work it took until this weekend. It feels good to be loud and proud to be sober. Plus, I think there is a lot more scrutiny on drinking these days, and some people are choosing sober lifestyle who don't actually have to accept anything except that they want to live life as their truer selves.

Kensho - sounding strong. I really can't believe that I parented through all of those hangovers...So much better now.

Way to go, Kiwi. 11 hour days are tough, but if they catch you up and set you on a good course, to me they can feel ok (once in a while!)

G - love that last paragraph. Being good to ourselves and loving ourselves is so important. It is so easy to be hyper critical. We are humans, warts and all. I DO think that we are humans so we can learn things, so changing things up in my approach was key to my success. I tried to be a moderate drinker (my motto was I have to cut back so I don't have to quit!), but that didn't work for me. I had to change things in my life, my approach to alcohol, my approach to myself, my daily life - to make that quit stick. I believe that your attitude is also key - thanks for your continued good-natured support.

How are you today, J?

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jvo - Really glad you jumped right back in the nest. :hug:

Lav - thanks for the hormone balance suggestion - I'll check it out!

Kiwi - great job going for a walk instead of reaching for a drink. Sounds like the old "15-minute" idea in action - when the urge to drink hits, make yourself do something else for 15 mins and then check in. The vast majority of the time, the urge passes that quickly and/or you get so well distracted that you forget about the idea of drinking.


On my end, things are going ok. I've had a few rough days actually, with a few fleeting thoughts of drinking. Fortunately, I was able to quash those very quickly and shove them off my radar screen. But I'm on high alert - I know I'm in a vulnerable time and so I'm keeping my toolkit close at hand, taking some pro-active steps to protect my quit. I suspect this will pass and I'll feel strong again. Until then, I'm gonna just keep on, one day or hour at a time.

Here's to great days and eves for everyone stopping by the nest!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

@Guitarista, you are turning into our Resident Buddhist :smile:

In it's fullest expression, we would never use a drug to try to alter our minds because each moment is exactly as it should be. The source of all suffering is wanting this moment to be different to how it is and craving whatever it is we think will make us ok. The key is to understand that we are already ok, just as we are, despite stories we make up and believe that say we aren't.

This is from: Desire, brain change, and a Buddhist take on addiction | Understanding Addiction

Buddhism sees attachment, craving, and loss as a cycle — a self-perpetuating cycle — in which we chase our own tails and lose sight of everything else. What Buddhists describe as the lynchpin of human suffering, the one thing that keeps us mired in our attachments, is exactly what keeps addicts addicted. The culprit is craving and its relentless progression to grasping. First comes emptiness or loss, then we see something attractive outside ourselves, something that promises to fill that loss, and we crave it. And the next thing we do is grasp — reach for it. Grasping leads to getting: a brief moment of pleasure or relief that reinforces the attachment. But it’s never enough, we crave more, and that’s what keeps the wheel going round. Whether the goal is success, material comfort, prestige — the more respectable human pursuits — or whether it’s heroin, cocaine, booze, or porn, hardly seems to matter. Either way, you’ve locked your sites on an antidote to uncertainty, a guarantee of completeness, when in fact we never become complete by chasing after what we don’t have. And, incredibly, the pursuit itself is the condition for more suffering. Because we inevitably come up empty, disappointed, and betrayed by our own desires.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've decided to enroll in an online course that I think I will really enjoy, and will also help me professionally. I'm kind of excited about this, and I'm hoping it will give me one more piece of structure to keep me on the straight and narrow when I have lulls in my workload (like now). My work is very cyclical and it ebbs and flows quite naturally over the course of a year. I've just come off a heavy-duty period of time and I anticipate that the next 2-4 weeks will be rather slow. This is great - I desperately need the break to rejuvenate and catch up around the house - but it also tends to be one of my triggers. I used to drink heavily when I had days off.

Another piece of my plan is to stay closer to the nest, dropping by here a bit more frequently. I'm not deeply worried about breaking my quit, but I also can tell things are a bit off and I'm just not going to take any chances.

So Choices, I'll be joining you in student mode, at least for the next 3 months!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I've decided to enroll in an online course that I think I will really enjoy, and will also help me professionally. I'm kind of excited about this, and I'm hoping it will give me one more piece of structure to keep me on the straight and narrow

Buddhism? Take care of yourself Wags. Look forward to more of your thoughts and posts.

Pav. Yes, self care and just recognising what thoughts, people, things, don't serve me well and letting them drop off and away. I have seen the enemy and it is within! No need to disrespect or hit myself around.

SB, buddhist philosophy and teachings are very useful in battling addiction and thoughts and beliefs that keep us stuck and down, living in pain.

How are you going Jvo?

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

G, you really are a philospher...I love "pain is inevitable, suffering is an option". Wise words.

I am tired of hearig myself complain about how crazy work is. I'm so busy that I am finding myselt saying, "I'm beat...I don't have time to check in MWO". However, I know this is the worst tactic I can take. Getting overwhelmed and drifting from our support is a recipe for relapse. Since I consider my quit to be my#1 priority, I'm finding time to read and check in. Seeing is believing and I've seen it enough to know that no one is immune to relapse. So I'm practicing what I preach!

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad you are checking in Byrdie even though you are busy. I find that happens to me. I get really busy and just stop posting and reading and I find it hard to catch up so I don't even log in to MWO. I am trying not to do that this time and just keep coming back. I know how important it is for us to be here for ourselves and for other people who are just finding their way.

Hey JVo, hope you are doing ok.

NS, that was a great post. Yeah, staying in the moment, there is nothing wrong with that. Enjoy where you are and what you are seeing instead of wishing it away.
G- who knew that the Buddhists had it all figured out so long ago.

Hello Kiwi, Life, Pav, Ava, Choices, Wags.

It was -29C yesterday when I went to work and then after work it was +8C. How nutty is that? Today it is +9C right now and going down to -23C tomorrow. That is our crazy weather here right now. Anyway, I am leaving work early today, we are slowing down a bit. Hopefully we get more work in March. Oil prices are hangin in so we should be ok.

Don't drink today.
xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I'm hearing rumors of a possible 6" snowstorm this weekend even though it's supposed to be something like 64 degrees on Thursday, crazy!

Byrdie, I hope there's something you can do to make your job less stressful & time consuming for you. I guess there's no such thing as a part time salesperson in your field? I know you already do a lot of work from home instead of an office. Is there anything else you could change? Take good care of #1 :hug:

Speaking of Buddha, has anyone ever read 'Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom' by Rick Hanson?
Good read!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great posts in the last couple of days. Really hit home with me. Copied so many to my personal journal. Really great. :heartbeat:

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - just ordered that book. Thanks.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest! I didn’t post this am - and not doing my Pilates breathing thing and I felt really off today. Lots of excitable energy for a project I’m not supposed to be working on. My husband turned around n a yoga tonight and that put me right back into gear. I’m getting used to being grounded and balanced!

Enjoying the olympics tonight, off to bed.

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,

I am really enjoying study again. It’s totally taken my mind off drinking. Yay wags on getting into study. I also have a lot that needs to be done at home, but I find I struggle less with floating thoughts of alcohol when I am out of the house. I think it is the overwhelm of how much stuff I have. My stuff needs to be de cludered but I start to get funny trying to do that. For now, it can wait I guess. KENSHO I hear ya on getting use to feeling grounded. It is so much better then hanging on exhausted (which is what my wine addiction caused).

I did kind of a strange thing (for me) today. I was a mall rat. I just walked up and down the shopping mall for hours today and looked at all the shops. I was trying to find a little bag for my emotional emergency kit but just ended up window shopping and trying on cloths. I am glad I will be going to class two days a week to get me out of the house. It will force me to actually change my outfit, wash and fix my hair etc. I really had let myself go, and I did not care. Part of me did, but I think I cared more about spending money on wine and numbing out.

I am totally stoked for my workshop this weekend. I am so curious to learn how to communicate with compassion in non violent communication. Apparently it covers how we mostly self talk.

I have been playing with my daughter more. I am finding it much easier to smile and laugh authentically. I am really grateful to be present for myself and her.

I hope everyone is well.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Byrdie - I feel your pain!! I have been WAY over working and think I won't come here, but now it is part of my routine and I miss it if I don't take a few minutes to check in in the morning. I DO hope there is some end in sight for your current situation...

I had a BAD situation at work yesterday, and NS - I am taking those words to heart. I can't grasp at a quick fix - I need to be in THIS situation, as hard as it is, and work through it. It is a step to what is next, and hopefully a better outcome the next time this situation arises.

Oohhhmmmmm....

(Hi, Nora)

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ohm PAV and Byrdie. Life balance is the single hardest thing I've attempted aside from quitting drinking. It's HARD. This morning strength/breathe thing has really helped remind me what is important and set my priorities for the day. Stick in the nest please

Choices, cool that you enjoyed a mall day - without alcohol! I'm so proud of you for signing up for your workshop - AND being excited! That tells me that you are open to and eager for growth and change. Awesome!

I get another day at the home office today - which I've been loving, and then will attend my son's school play tonight and tomorrow night. Feeling good and balanced for the moment, and glad to be a non-drinker.

[little beagle]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check in for me. I've been reading everyday. Last night I spent an hour in the bathtub catching up! Lots of good stuff in here. I've really missed this.