Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola all,

Great work My way in. Happy birthday to you! :balloons::dancegirl::sendflowers::dancin:

Must be just about 6 months for our Moonking! Kingy? Wowza!

Day 177 here. Right on pilgrim. The feeling's goooood. Big waves to all.

Take it easy out there.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The temperature has dropped almost 40 degrees since yesterday, ha ha, winter is back!!!

Happy birthday to you mywayin
I’m glad to hear you stood your ground & enjoyed an AF dinner!

Not much to report on except I’m going to pick up a dozen new chicks tomorrow - day old hatchlings. Time to add to my existing flock. This is the stuff that makes me happy these days

Hello to everyone & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

MyWay, Happy Birthday and GREAT JOB on resisting that drink! Thats what it takes!
Crusade, every post you write reonates with me. I felt as tho I were leading a double life, too. Separate and distinct personailites, Jekyl and Hyde, truth be known. There was awful turmoil in my head. Getting sober helped with that in unexplained ways. I was as if one day I woke up and started seeing in color, like in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy goes from black and white to technicolor. It was THAT profound. I think that is GROWTH. Thank you for the reminder of how far I have come and how much I owe to MWO for helping me learn how to do it.

Im so glad you are here!
Gman, well done on 6 months, you, too MoonKing!! This is epic!!! :llama: :llama: Keep it going!!
Hugs to all! Byrdie
.

[little beagle]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm doing great Shades. How are you doing?

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm doing great Shades. How are you doing?

It's nice to see you back, LB :hug:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

up and at 'em early this morning..

Happy Birthday Mywayin!
G-man, looks like the big 180 is right around the corner.. I'm baking a yummy cake and getting ready to celebrate with you!

Crusader, I also relate very much to what you've posted..feeling like two different people is very unsettling. At times I've felt at war with myself and it isn't a good feeling. One of my tools has been, when this crazy voice comes into my mind, telling me it might be ok to drink or that drinking will help or that f*** it, who cares?, to write down exactly what this voice is telling me in the moment and then to immediately write down what I KNOW I want.. and how drinking won't in any way work to my benefit.. and then to offer alternative solutions. This has helped a little bit to clearly separate the two and to give my rational mind strength. I appreciate your posts and all that you're sharing very much.:hug:

NS, very good point. I am definitely one of those people who has tended to create a whole new life plan every couple of weeks (with the same things listed) and is then depressed when I "fail". I am always searching for a bit of discipline in my life and it seems like I should be able to follow through on doing things that I love. But as soon as I place rules on those things, seems as if I high tail it out. I still haven't figured that one out. Actually, maybe I have to re-think what I it is I love to do.? The daily painting and gratitude journal is something I have done without effort or a set plan. hmmmm..

Yesterday I had a doctor's appt. that lasted for 2 hours. I told her anything and everything I could think of. Unfortunately it didn't seem like she had a lot of experience with addiction.. but at one point she asked me why I'm still at times drinking when I'm in the place in my life I've wanted to be for such a long time? If everything is going so well, why? I realized with her that the past few times I've decided to drink, it's been when I've been in more of a good mood, manic though.. and it's been to try and come down a notch. Then, of course, I bring myself so far down that I don't care anymore. I have one other health problem that she's going to help me get under control, which will be a huge relief and will help to stabilize my immune system.

Anyway, what I know for a fact is that I am a happier, healthier, stronger person when I'm sober. I LOVE being sober. I honestly appreciate most every minute of the day when I'm sober. I don't have a darn thing to complain about. With the exception of not living close enough to my family and not having a small piece of land with a horse :happy2:, I am just where I want to be. I'm a slow learner, but I am learning each and every day.. I'm learning to accept and like myself as I am rather than waiting until I'm the person I think I want to be.. and this is a big deal as I've never really liked myself. Which is sad, seeing that I like other people and other people seem to like me. Very slowly, but surely.

Now I've got to run to work.. how nice that it's light at 6:50am.. already was 20 minutes ago!
Wishing everyone a nice Friday.. I am excited that it's the weekend.
xx

[little beagle]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you Lifechange. That idea of writing down what that nasty voice is saying and then what You know you want. Great tool. I struggle with self worth. I always have.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi. I feel like about 150 yrs. old this morning. Ugh.

The fire alarm (like not a “chirp”, but the full on alarm) went off at midnight. We had to get the ladder, change the battery, and curse the system half awake. And my stomach hurt all night. Slogging and wishing I could go back to bed.

BUT, I appreciate all the quality posts here. So good to have the support of such genuinely good people.

NS, I totally agree. The only plan is to not drink. The rest of the things are tricks or tools to use when trying to implement that. It helped me to have a non-alcoholic drink in my hands during my witching hours (but I didn’t always do it), and it helped me to focus on things I am grateful for (but I didn’t always feel grateful). Basically, the tools are available, but the only measure of success is whether we drink or not.

Wagmore, I love the research on the plasticity of our brains - based on what we choose to focus on. Thanks for that reminder. We can shape our realities by making “positive” and “compassionate” a priority.

PAV, maybe that’s my problem today - a food hangover! I ate so much bread yesterday!

MyWayIn, hope your birthday was great!!!

LAV, how often to you get new chicks? They are really cute - I love the peeps they make.

Byrdie, I love your analogy about seeing black and white - and then full color. That’s how its felt to me too. Alcohol numbed so many of my sensory experiences in life - and took so much head space - my world was small and 2 dimensional. It is SO much more FULL and RICH and COLORFUL now! 3D!

Crusader, I TOTALLY get the two different people thing. I would wake up in the morning swearing I would never drink again, and then by 3pm, I was scheming about how to get my fix that night. It helped me to understand the two different brains we have - the primal brain and the rational brain. The primal brain tells us what it thinks we need for survival, based on how much pleasure it produces (i.e. sugar, sex, etc.), and it is often wrong. But the rational brain weighs consequences and understands a bigger picture. The trick is knowing that the alcohol voice is always the primal brain (because alcohol is actually a poison and does the opposite of ensuring survival) - and we can call it out as BS when we hear it.

LC, great self reflection. You’re learning about yourself - hooray! I love when that happens to me

Send me a little bump of energy if any of you have extra today. I need it. Hugs to all.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

NoSugar - I love your posts. Right on. I have that same issue with food - I eat one bad thing at breakfast and suddenly I accept it as a bad day and I eat like that all day. I have been working on changing my perspective on that.

I really do think it is that simple - and that complicated. I don't drink. I can't drink. Ok, now what do I do? That first year I made SURE that I had an exit plan for every situation. There was one very bad time when I didn't, and I ended up going outside and contacting some MWO friends. Other than that, I always had my own car and a way home. I also had the support of my husband. Frankly, I think those of you who do this while a spouse is encouraging you to drink are super heroes. Mine drinks and keeps booze in the house, but he knows that there is no way I can drink.

LB - It is great to see you. I hope all is well!

Sounding good LC!

Happy Birthday, MyWayIn!

Happy Weekend - no tickets to Boozeville for sale...

Pav

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Afternoon Everyone.

Today is day 8.

It’s been a busy two days, so not much time to read and respond once again. As several have indicated, it is understood here that it can’t become a chore or a burden in our quest to take care of ourselves.

Yesterday, I was away getting my bottom jaw finished that I started over eight months ago. Right after the first surgery, I received a call my mom had a stroke. I had to fly out and be with her after they stabilized my condition and sent me on my way with medications until I could return to finish the process. I was unable to eat/chew. I could only drink liquid forms of nutrition. I was with my mom night and day for over three weeks in four different facilities. This is a long story, not for today. Long story short, she left this world in hospice. The long story would provide even more detail on my huge slide into wanting to leave this world. Shortly, very shortly after that, I lost an equally important person to me in my life. So, returning home with all this pain, I was devastated. I hadn’t drank while with my mom at all, so goes to show you we can stop when we have to. We choose not to. I went into a horrible state and even having to finish up reconstructing my jaw, etc., I drank more and more to cope. So again, long story short, I was at an appointment yesterday to complete the process that has been a long one on my bottom jaw. I am happy to report, I can now eat and chew foods correctly again. Here’s to you, mom! She knows what that means as we both made some sacrifices. Ones I did not realize were being made at the time. She probably did because that’s what mom’s do. (Sobs)

So, that is reason number one I am left short on time. Reason number two is that today, I had to stop and buy a new laptop which I am trying out right now. Yay! It works.

Reason number three, I’m going out to dinner and CHEWING a great meal in a half hour. So, I better go wipe away these tears from typing that first paragraph and go celebrate a real meal and how much I loved my mom and my other loss.

I left this because while going to sleep last night, tired, I saw some posts I wanted to respond to, but needed to get to sleep. Today, I could not do so because of my laptop failure and my dinner plans.

Hugs and love to everyone and read this knowing things can really be bad in life. Maybe they are and maybe you can see they could be worse.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Zzzheeerrrr, what a week! So glad its Friday, BUT, its NOT a ticket to Boozeville!

I was reading around the threads a little, I tell you, as time goes by, I am more grateful for this place. It gave me the tools and support I needed (and the kick in the pants) to get this done. I made all the excuses on Earth why I was different and why quitting was harder for me, it was all BS. Quitting our drug of choice for any addict is hard. Hard as hell, quite frankly. I can tell you this, you’d have to search far and wide to find any better decision Ive made. I dont think anyone should drink! Never thought Id say that. I also neber imagined Id be on an alkie site extolling the joys of being sober, but life is funny like that. I'm glad Im alive TO tell the story, I was killing myself and justifying it all the way.
Do WHATEVER it takes to get, and STAY sober. You will never regret a day you spend sober! Stay strong, Byrdie

Edit to add: Cross post, Crusader, please accept this two cheeked salute from your nest-mates, its for a job well done! :butt: for one full week (plus 1). You’ve got the worst in the rear view! Im so sorry to hear of your past troubles. We are great listeners so we appreciate your sharing part of your story. Enjoy that meal, take it easy on the new jaw!! (Things I dont say every day). Xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well, I have 12 new kids in the house (temporary lodging in the laundry room until it warms up enough to move them to the garage).
I add to my flock when I see the older ones have stopped laying. Last summer I gave most of my flock away because they were just plain crazy. A nearby farmer was happy to take them. I wasn't in the mood for all that craziness after my 14 1/2 yr old dog passed away in July. So now we have a new beginning

Crusader, so sorry about your rough time with your Mom. I really do know how much that hurts :hug:
Great job getting your dental work completed, I hope you enjoy a wonderful dinner.

Kensho, our smoke alarms are hard wired so when they go off it's easy enough to reset them but then we have to convince the alarm company when they call that we are safe. Power surges have messed with them in the past, so annoying, ha ha!

Byrdie, I hereby give you the entire weekend off!!! REST!!!

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

afternoon nesters

Congrats G on 6 months, time flies when you are having fun.

Crusader you enjoy that chewing sensation tonight and please share when you have time or want to. We are hear to listen.

Oh Kensho you alarm story! i slept through one of those once, went for god knows how long but i was passed out/blacked out and comatosed so didnt hear a thing. One of those forget me moments in my drunken years.

Byrd i think we could all write a huge book on excuses addicts give as to why we cant/wont/dont stop. I know i had a repertoire of reasons, all of which were bullsh#t but i needed to justify within myself why i could drink. Now i could find loads of reasons why i could drink but i dont want to drink, i dont need the crutch of al to hold me up, i can quite happily and easily ask for help and know i cant do this life by myself. I used to think i had to do it all and now i know i cant and dont want to.

Tonight is my SO's brothers 50th wedding anniversary. lucky for me the SO's house is only 300 metres from where the party is so i can escape. the last time i met some of his family was at his mums funeral a year ago. I am sure he will want to spend quality time with those he does not see much so i have already told him i will leave when i want. i dont want him worryng that i need his attention or i cant amuse myself.

Im also taking my shitzu x to get some acupuncture next week. any thoughts on this? she had a stroke and encephalitis and her walking is getting worse. the vets have put her on numerous drugs with not good results so going to try something different. she is a rottweiler in a shitzu body bless her.

well nap time for me before the big event. we have to go and get his aunty from a nursing home for a few hours and then take her back so and early start before the party even begins.

take care x

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sober Friday everyone.

Crusader, I’m so sorry about what you went through with your mom and Your jaw! Ugh, that sounds awful. So glad you are here and not drinking. That would make you fee even worse. It’s interesting how you didn’t drink when you were taking care of your mom. I did the same when my dad was dying, unfortunately I drank a lot after he died. Just like you did after your mom.

I have a few girlfriends coming over tonight just for a couple of hrs. One of them has breast cancer and is not drinking. I did not buy any wine but usually one of them brings some. I always make them take it when they leave. I remember ber a few years ago when I first quit it was so hard to tell them I did not drink anymore and now it’s just normal. That’s amazing, I never would have imagined this back when I was drinking.

Anyway, great posts, hi Ava, Pav, Life, G, Byrdie, Lav (with 12 kids).,ken and Lil B(glad your alive!)

Don’t drink tonight.
Xo

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

I was just thinking that it is 8pm and a few years ago I would have been drunk by now. I am so glad I am sober now.

I am looking forward to waking up Un Hung tomorrow