Newbies Nest

[Marylou123]

Re: Newbies Nest

Gman - you totally rock! Congratulations on six months AF and thank you for sharing the ride with us.

Hi to all Nesters — I’m sitting in the salon chair for a spring spruce up. It’s a splurge I allow myself now — a little costly but nowhere near the expense of daily binges. And I don’t feel like I’m sabotaging myself anymore with trying to look “better” on the outside with hair color, make up, lotions and potions but destroying myself from the inside (physically, mentally, spiritually) with all the booze. The longer I drank, the less it all mattered anyhow. I am so grateful to be free of that stinkin thinking! That doesn’t mean every day is a good hair day. But I’m so much better able to cope with life’s curveballs (the ones much bigger than hair) without even thinking about wine as the escape now. You all here have contributed the tools for this transformation and I thank you. Okay...time for the color to come out. If it’s a mess...I just might buy a new hat! There’s always another option.

Make it a good one!
Hugs — ML

LC — hope you get some relief. We’re in the midst of a pollen poluza here and it’s reeking havoc with my eyes.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

another beautiful morning in sunny melbourne. I do so love mornings now. i remember in my drinking days waking up with the birds chirping and i wanted to shoot the f##kers, my how times have changed.

Mary i decided to grow my hair and grow out my colour back to being a redhead but now it is much lighter. we tend to go silver instead of grey. I totally agree with the looking good on the outside but dying within. i kind of accept my greys now. I am amazed at how many people tell me how happy i sound and how unstressed i look since changing jobs. I didnt think it was that obvious but the i do know i am so much happier now i am away from the village idiots.

LC speaking of village idiots apparently the new girl is so overworked she is going to leave and the office manager is soooooo snowed under with work. im amazed he actually knows how to work but i am sure there is a lot of procrastinating as his job is very much on the line. They all dont speak to me now after ten years of working there and that is fine and dandy by me. I have my 3 month review in March and i am sure my job is very secure and i am planning on a pay rise within a year! I hope all went well at the doctors.

Pav, i hope work was not as bad as you thought. I didnt realise people could actually look forward to going to work until i changed jobs. I have noted that i have not had one sick day since i started here whereas before i was planning every sunday how not to go to work on Monday.

Talking about work, i had better go and do some.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

That doesn’t mean every day is a good hair day. .

:harhar:

You look fabulous Marylou!

Thanks heaps for all the congrat's and kind words everyone. It's really nice. Thank you.

Ava. You are raaawkin it. Silver - the symbol of purity and justice. I remember dealing with village idiot managers at work in 2013. i was stressed, and didn't realise how much 'till i moved from that site. I gave them a couple of good dressing downs at some 'disciplinary' meetings we had as they were out of line (i had union support in the room so i wasn't alone). That felt good! lol. I'm still with the same org, but dont work with those people anymore. I forgive, but won't forget. I would never hire these couple of troublemakers if the situation ever arose! I remember going home after a typically taxing and high pressure week at work (not stress from my job or team, but stress from my managers) and just hitting the bottle to try get some relief. That was a quick fix, sure, but it also kept me fixated and ruminating on village idiots and their actions. That meant unnecessary suffering all weekend. As my buddhist mate Buddha down the road reckons - pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Let us know how work goes this week Pav. Have a rippa!

LC, how are you?

Glorious sunny morning here. Day 181 but who's countin? 6 months is a real milestone for me. Not a millstone, but a milestone. This is the longest i've been sober since 2011. I've struggled to get this far many, many times since. But now i'm here. Here it is, another day handed to me on a plate. I can take it or leave it. I reckon i'll take it umpire. Anything is possible. Thank you.

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

Congratulations on 6 months Gman and kingy. You sound like you're taking good care of yourself, about darn time right?!!
Sending hugs to everyone!
Roobs

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in from the Crazy Train. What a day.
Ooohmmmmmmm. Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We finally had a peek of sunshine today after 4 days of rain & gloom. It lasted about an hour then it was time for sunset. Seems like a mean joke or something, ha ha!

Pav, hope your day went well, you sounded a bit worried.

Byrdie, I’m getting ready to buy you a ticket to OHM-ville! Take a minute for yourself lady

G, you know we are all so proud of you

ML, I hope you love the new hairdo, sounds like a nice thung to do for yourself.

Ava, so you are about to become our resident ‘silver fox? Nice!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G-man - Just wanted to say congrats again on 6 months. I hadn't realized this is your longest quit since 2011. That's fantastic, especially since it's gonna keep getting longer right? Kudos to you and here's to the next 6 months!

Moon - congrats to you too. Hope all is ok. I haven't seen you in awhile but maybe just missed your posts.


Just put down a deposit on a little vacation for this summer - renting a mountain cabin in Montana. I'm so excited - this is a beautiful area, and the cabin we found is just off a 50-mile bike path, so of course we're gonna take our bikes. Something to look forward to. We'll camp a few nights before and a few after, with just 3 nights at the cabin, so pretty affordable too. By not drinking between now and then, I'll certainly save enough $ to pay for the trip. Late July will be my 2-year quit milestone (started this quit on a mountain camping trip as well), so it'll be a tip of the hat to quitting in several ways.

Happy days and eves all!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

my cough is giving me a bit of break to post.. nice, eh? as I mentioned in the Café, the last time I remember having such a bad cough was in the 5th grade.. it seems to be a virus, so not a lot I can do about.. and the "hard-core" meds don't seem to work. but I guess it has to get better at some point. I cooked a root veggie chicken soup which felt good. The upside is that I'm getting some stomach muscles.. ha! I'd rather go to the gym.. mark my words.

And Marylou, I had to cancel my hair appt. this afternoon.. pushed to next week. I am also going to give myself a bit of shine.. I've had my hairdresser paint in some low-lights which I love! How did yours turn out? I always balked at how expensive it is.. but actually I only have to not drink about 10 days to pay for it..:happy2: Gosh that money adds up.. and I can stand to look at myself in the mirror.. and I don't have the ugly flushed cheeks to clash with it all! Just a couple little benefits to not drinking but they add up. You must be having gorgeous weather now, right?

Ava, I am soooo happy that you no longer have to deal with the VI's.. and I don't even miss hearing about them! I love that you enjoy your job now and that the people there appreciate you. As they should.. :love: Did you end up trying out the accupuncture for Mads?

Wags, I'm jealous! Once again.. that sounds like such a beautiful place to vacation.. I have only driven through Montana and it was breathtaking.. We need to begin thinking about Summer break as well.. Last year the girls and I did an amazing hike.. we did 4 stages of an 8 stage trail. I would love to do the last 3 but I'm having a difficult time convincing them. Hmmm.. might do it on my own. 50 miles of bike trails sounds perfect for you.. I can imagine there might be a lot of hills!

How are you doing, Crusader? and J-vo, are you popping in and reading? I hope you'll come back to the Nest soon..:hug: Moon, are you around? and Choices?
Big Hugs to everyone flying by and stopping in today..
xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], I was about a $10 a day drunk. I have been 2576 AF days. That's $25,760!
That is a freaking CAR!
It's a kitchen AND bath redo and and a shopping spree to boot.
It's two exotic vactions to warmer climes!
There are so many benefits to being sober...the financial one is nothing to sneeze at!

Happy Toozday, all! B

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters,

Wags, I have always wanted to go to Montana. I picture myself doing a cattle drive of sorts and looking up at the stars. Your trip sounds perfect for your bike riding ways. Good for you.
I too was at least a $10 a day drinker so that means I've saved about $4600 so far. I have managed to increase expenses elsewhere but I consider that my ongoing treat to being af.
I hate to admit, I have my hair cut and colored every 6 weeks. I consider it a fixed cost.

LC, I hope you feel better soon. Coughing that hard is exhausting.

Happen sober Tuesday everyone!
Roobs

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - yep, I was probably at around $10/day myself. I figure even if I'm conservative and say $5/day, I've already saved about $3K. It's crazy - it's like LC was saying the other day about suddenly having more money than before (although I don't necessarily feel like I've got oodles of cash - I'm definitely not pouring it down the toilet like I was while drinking). During the first 6 months of my quit, maybe the first year, I actually used this money savings to help plan rewards for maintaining my quit. I came nowhere near spending it all, but little $20-50 treats or gifts to myself helped keep me going and kept me looking forward, not back. So yay - you can redo your kitchen and go to Tahiti on your savings!!!

Marylou - hooray for your salon splurge - exactly what Byrdie and I were chatting about. Such a better use of your hard-earned cash!

Pav - I hope work has been ok too. Not fun to have that sense of dread, even if you know things will work out ok.

LC - I remember you talking about the trail with your girls. That would be fun to finish, even if you do it solo or with a friend instead. I love doing things like that! I hope your cough clears up soon. My S.O. has had a bad cough since before xmas, and there is little that seems to relieve it. Sending you healing hugs :hug:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Yesterday went better than expected - four more to go and I can breathe a sigh of relief! Thanks for the positive thoughts.

I actually have a saving app on my phone - it skims about $10/day out of my account. I don't miss it (since it used to go to booze anyway), and now I have saved enough money for a true vacation this summer. I highly recommend it for those of you like me who need some financial assistance (in the not spending department!) My DH and I have different destinations in mind - completely different - so we might actually just travel separately this summer. We'll see...

Ava - so glad you like the new job. I'm sure you have schadenfreude looking at the place falling apart. Well, I'm not sure you do, but I'm sure I do (my little black coal heart that's in there with my big red one...)

LC - Ugh - the dreaded cough. I had a very bad one this fall - lasted more than 6 weeks total. I used to have to go running from meetings because I was coughing so hard I thought I would barf. Take good care of yourself!

Crusader - sleep is key, and I agree with you that you might not want to tackle changing that up at this point in your quit.

Stay warm and sober out there, folks.

Pav

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning to all!

Happy day 12 to me. There is one benefit to ‘time flies’. I know 12 is not a big number of days, but it amazes me that we are at the end of February already, and it seems I was just posting day 3 or 4. I’ll stick to the positive and leave the negative with the flying broomstick and the ‘leave it alone pile’.

LC, I’m doing pretty well on the no alcohol front. I did get a couple interrupting thoughts early evening to have ‘a’ cocktail (ha). I have two drinkers in the household. One is a heavy drinker. I heard the clinking of the drink being made and it was a small trigger, but ‘if one, why not none’? It didn’t take my mind long to squash it in it tracks, so that’s a good sign; albeit, I’m not under any harsh trauma or triggers at the moment. I need to stay equipped with my armour for any such moments or periods of time. It’s a daily duty now to put that armour on. When I get anything respiratory in nature, it kicks my behind. I take longer than the norm to fight it off. I have asthma, so that’s part of it. I started taking an Emergen-C with Vitamin D and immune boosters since I quit drinking. I don’t know if that will help, but it can’t hurt after the alcohol use. I bring this up because I have to resort to my asthma inhalers, both the steroid and the non steroid to help calm it. I know other people who don’t have asthma who are often given a steroid inhaler to help if it’s really bad. I don’t know what they’ve tried on you, but it’s just my thoughts. A bad cough as Roobs said, it’s exhausting. I, also, take sudafed and antihistamines. Some people are very anti-drug, so this may not be something worth mentioning to you.

Side note to Wagmor: Maybe your SO would benefit with the steroid inhaler as well if the cough is hanging on and causing her to feel unwell. No doctor advice here. I’m just relating experiences of my own.

Pav, we are in agreement. I went back to my regular routine last night. Left a message with my doctor for a refill as I only have a few left. Hopefully she will fill it until closer to spring when I’d like to have some blood drawn. I want at least 30 days in before seeing her. I’m still feeling very tired, but I’m early in my quit. I slept maybe five to six hours. I’m an eight hour person, but I’ll take it. It was uninterrupted sleep, so that’s good.

Byrd, your job sounds exhausting. I doubt you’d make it through if you were still drinking. If it takes this much out of you now, just image.

Happy Tuesday, everyone.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

So, I've just discovered (or been reminded of) one of my triggers. As you might remember, I'm self-employed. I get some of my work through a jobs board where people who need my type of services can post their needs. I responded to one this morning with a very generous and personal reply - one that addressed the individual's needs and inquiries and offered very accommodating personal touches around payment and delivery. I put some time and thought into it, as I usually do.

I received an extremely rude and curt reply. Can't tell if the person didn't know that's how this works - people like me will be seeing her request and responding - or if she's just rude in general and I dodged a bullet.

Regardless, her reply REALLY hurt. I'm sitting here in tears. I'm trying to not take it personally - I don't necessarily care whether I get particular gigs, and I know I'm not the right fit for everyone. But sheesh - she didn't have to be such a b*tch to me.

Sigh... The thing that makes me sadder is that one of my first internal thoughts was to have a drink. I won't, but I came here right away just to be sure. This is clearly an achilles heal in my quit that I need to shore up.

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wagmor, my failures have taught me many things about myself. Therein lies the positive of adversity or failures. This is, also, why I have a notebook this time around. Will it get me through all the challenges remains to be seen, but I find it helpful if I do my daily work within its pages.

First off, the reply is about this person's attitude and behavior of which we sometimes don't understand. This is especially truth on the internet where we may not know the other person who is replying to our comments or postings. In those situations, we really don't know what they are going through that made them so mean. It could be their personality or something they aren't dealing with so well at the time.

Second, it most definitely shouldn't become your responsibility or part of your self worth. This is one of those tentacles I mentioned in a previous post that I work on along side my no drinking goal. This is an opportunity to fix an underlying issue. I have sections within my notebook for these triggers and issues that live underneath emotional feelings that are not beneficial. As you mentioned, 'it really hurt'. Why is that? Why is this person's opinion of you more important than you own? You already know the answer. Now, you just need to change that thinking. The other person's behavior is outside of your control and is their issue to solve, not yours. I've learned this in harsh ways. It seems that most deep self analysis comes from pain. It's your sensor going off letting you know something needs addressing in 'your' transportation vehicle in life.

Love and hugs.