Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION]. I get what you are saying. People are idiots. Drinking AT them won't fix that. I had a similar thing yesterday, too. Only rather than drinking AT him, I wanted to throw the bottle at him. Instead, I had a good cry. UGG! B

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

I left this in the Army thread, today. I think it is useful here as well. I have it stamped to an art piece on my desk that I put there after my losses last year.

“No hurt survives for long without our help, she said & then she kissed me & sent me out to play again for the rest of my life.”

Off to my duties. :heartbeat:

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy sober Tuesday everyone. Yeah, we are just making money by staying sober. I have probably saved at least $10,000; I was a lightweight so it wasn’t as much as you Ava. Lol
Life, I hope you feel better soon.

Hey G, so proud of you. Keep on keeping on.

Have a nice sober night everyone..

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, sorry to hear about this nasty person. If you had taken a drink AT that person imagine how much worse you would feel. All your hard work and self worth would have shattered because one mean miserable jerk had a bad day. You know you're good at what you do so don't doubt yourself. I love and appreciate your thoughtful, insightful and supportive input in the nest. I'm sure I would have hired you in a second! As far as relating to your experience, there are days that someone could say "boo," and I'd flip out and take it personally. Or someone at the dog park says something negative about my very loud and totally misunderstood dog (he's very sweet just comes on strong, seriously) or their energy is negative towards me and my dog. It sounds ridiculous that I can let it really bother me but it can and it has. Sometimes I think it's because I may be in one of my anxious moments combined with being people pleaser. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that sometimes it's just a moment or mood that finds us particularly vulnerable to the slightest negativity. When someone's that mean or rude, I try to think they must have some serious baggage of their own so good riddance. You don't need that in your life. I hope the rest of your day perked up.
Roobs

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Everyone sounds pretty good even with viral illnesses & b*tchy, rude people to deal with, oh boy.

LC, your cough reminds me very much of what my daughter used to get (almost yearly) thru her school years. It's rough, I know. One year the school nurse called me because my daughter coughed so hard she irritated the lining between her ribs & they though she was having 'chest pain', uh, no!! I hope you feel better soon.

Wags, like Byrdie I stopped drinking at the aSSholes & b*tches in my life, just not worth it in the end. No amount of AL in our lives will fix other people's problems. It may very well be a blessing in disguise that the job will go to someone else - pray for that person
I've never been to Montana, I hope you can post some pictures from your trip!

Grateful we had a full day of sun today. Makes dealing with the end of February just a little easier.
Nice seeing everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!!!!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

12:15 am check in. Working like a dog this week. Ugh! Everyone needs everything on a tight timeline! I'm tired and actually thought of wine today - as in "I could just numb out and feel some relief". But what I really need is sleep and sleep, and maybe some more sleep. And some personal time. I know that alcohol is a failed coping mechanism, so on to other means. I hope everyone is doing well. I should have time to read tomorrow afternoon.

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

Gosh, I have been reading all the posts and then when it comes to typing I try to keep everyone straight but I am terrible at it! Huge congrats G-man!!! 6 months is awesome!!

LC- I hope you get well soon! I can see how baking and drinking would have come together for me as well, add resentment towards a partner and it is a perfect storm.

Wags- I love big sky country, Montana. We did a massive road trip in the states a couple of years ago and stayed in Missoula and I really think I could live there. What a perfect way to celebrate 2 years AF.

Pav- I really like that about 'if only one why any"? (or something close to that.. I can't scroll back to get it right) but it keeps it real tidy and simple.

Kensho- I hope you were able to get some sleep and some 'you" time. I am finding my thoughts of alcohol are the loudest when I need both of those myself. What a tricky sham, it only beats us up even more.

I'm doing good. School is picking up with deadlines. I can not imagine doing this drunk or hungover I feel a bit of pity for the woman who did that to herself last year. (Me).

I'm so glad I ditched that booze. What a heavyweight to be carrying around.

I talked with my counselor again about my addiction and I got quite uncomfortable. She was able to help me get to the crooks of why I was drinking so much, and I felt like my skin crawling. I've been seeling her for about a year now, and have never ever exposed my drinking addiction to her. I've been talking around my issues, but never exposed that pain the grip alcohol has had on me. After the session I felt lighter.

I drove directly a gym and joined. I think I'll add a bit of exercise to my routine to blow off steam and have fun. I like group fitness the best so here goes nothing!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

So last night was sortof (not) funny. I had to get up out of bed around midnight due to a coughing attack.. and decided f***it. I don't really have to sleep tonight.. 'cause I feel that sometimes the stress of not being able to sleep makes it worse. I brought all my things out to the sofa, situated myself (the kitties were snuggled up on the back of it) and fell asleep sitting up.. after a while I tried to lay down and got a couple hours of sleep.. it seems to be getting a bit better but I will head to the doctor first thing tomorrow morning if there aren't big improvements.
I've been stressing myself out a bit because I'm supposed to go to Sweden! this weekend for a conference that I really WANT to attend. Right now I don't feel well enough and I know it would be stressful if I'm not fit.. so I've been toying with the idea of covering up the symptoms so that I feel better.. (Thanks for the steroid idea, Crusader..) Just don't want to put myself out of work for another couple of weeks after overdoing it. Ughhh..

Wags, I hope you're feeling better today with regards to that nasty woman. Of course you know intellectually that it doesn't have anything to do with you! And we could almost feel pity for her, because we (I) know from past experience that if I'm acting in such a way, I'm NOT happy.. but still, it hurts. And like you said, a bit worrisome is that drinking crossed your mind. Though I guess it's a good thing, because you're working through it and in the end will be even stronger in your quit. :hug:

Kensho! Be careful, dear Lady.. I know you are, but you definitely have to find some time for yourself..squeeze in some down time. Sometimes that seems impossible.. do you at least have a goal/date in mind when it should let up a bit? Strength to you!

Pav, glad that one is out of the way and you just have four more to go! Sounds quite stressful, but you seem to be doing well with it all! Interesting that your daughter had the same.. I didn't know anyone else who did.. and it was debilitating. I used to have to run out of the classroom and I felt like I was choking.. this completely uncontrollable scratchy, dry something in my chest and throat. Yesterday I actually did barf.. but to be totally honest, I had eaten a danish (I'd been craving it for a long time!) and had a small coffee.. and both sugar and coffee are bad for this. So out they came.. in German they'd say, selber schuld.. which is a very nice and direct way of saying, it's your own fault. yes, it was.

Choices, good to hear you doing so well! Yes, I don't know how we did so many things hungover.. Nothing in the world I can think of that would be worse than that right now.. like we've all realized, we were somehow getting by, getting through the day. Who really wants to live life like that? Super that you talked to your counselor. It did me a lot of good to lay it out on the table with my doctor as well.. here's to being up front and honest, to taking care of ourselves.

Kiwi, How are you? Realized this morning as I took my daily photo that you haven't been around for a while. Is everything ok?

ok. I can't remember what else I wanted to say.. hope everyone has a nice Wednesday.. xxx

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all!

Day 13 and woke at 3:30 a.m. Short night of sleep for me. Like you, Lifechanges, I gave up trying to go back to sleep and relocated myself to the couch. I lit a fire, made coffee and logged online to read. I'm still tired, so it's too early to think too hard. BTW, I don't know your stage in your viral attack, but if the bug has been stomped out by your immune system and your lungs are still irritated, the cough can live on. Doctors in the states often give the steroid to knock it out. If you are feeling alright on all fronts but the cough, maybe that is your situation. In that case you won't be covering it up. If you are still fighting the bug itself, some relief and rest can help on that front. Hopefully, you don't have a secondary bacterial issues, but you'd probably feel terrible and wouldn't be feeling any better. At least that's my experience. Just ideas. Hope you feel better soon. I know how miserable that cough can be.

I hope you are feeling better today, Wagmor.

Choices, I used 'if only one, why not none' two days ago to squash a drinking thought. That's exactly what I thought, just one. It did the trick along with my daily preparation. That was a new quote for me, so it's in the arsenal now.

Just doing a check in for the day. Tomorrow I'll have week two completed.:welldone:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Choices--When I decided to face my drinking square in the face talking with my counselor about it really, really made a big difference. She was kind but did not let me make ANY excuses or say but... but... I always felt drained and lighter after we talked. I highly recommend it to anyone struggling.

LC - I did some research on my cough (me, not a daughter), and it is a pretty common thing if you research it. Not a ton to do. I did find some help with decongestants. I am SO sorry - it is the worst. I hope you find a way to get to Sweden.

As for a$$es that I face each day - I try to think like this video: Powerful video Can't explain it just watch - YouTube What is everyone experiencing that I know nothing about. Doesn't always work, and sometimes I want to throw the bottle AT them anyway, but taking a step back helps me.

Hope you all have great days!

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the boosts and encouragement yesterday. I definitely do know on a rational level that when people act like that, it's about them and not about me or whomever is the recipient. In the moment it still stings though. What concerned me more was the sudden, strong (habitual) thought to have some drinks and numb away that icky feeling. I don't think I would really blow my quit that way, but it caught me a bit off guard.

The good news is that the drinking thoughts passed fairly quickly. So, a good learning for me and perhaps others: the whole "wait 15 minutes" strategy really does work an awful lot of the time. I didn't even consciously think that yesterday - just hopped immediately into the nest, posted, and did a couple of other tasks - by the time I thought about it again the urge had completely disappeared. Your words of solace and support were extremely helpful.


LC - sorry to hear about another rough night with your cough. Sounds like a hard decision re Sweden. I hope you feel well enough to go!

Choices - sounds like some challenging work with your counselor, but also very positive for you! Great job being willing to go into uncharted territory even when it was uncomfortable. I believe that is often when we grow the most - in the edges outside our comfort zones, but not so far out they become panic zones. I imagine you do feel lighter now - hooray for progress!

Pav - great video, thanks for sharing.


Have great days and eves everyone. I'll check back in again this evening. Happy hump days!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Like the vid Pav. Thanks. Hope your week is going okay.

Hope your feeling better there LC!

Great job on 13 days Crusader. Things can sure turn around from here. Keep it going.

Wags, i've had similar emotional disruptions this year, but maybe not quite as pointed. But the great news is that i recognised the feelings it brought up and i knew what those feelings were and why. It still stung, but i reckon it was easier for me to deal with because i paused, took a step back and examined what i was feeling and thinking. Happy to say i didn't fall for my ultimately small passing emotional derailment! How are you going?

Congratulations friend Kingy for 6 months plus! Oh yeah!

Must be day 183, but i never been one fo countin.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Another day, another dollar.
Glad to be done with this one. Hitting the road tomorrow, but just for the day.
Crusader, you are so right, there is just no wqy I could keep up this pace if I were still drinking. Glad that isnt weighing me down at least!
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Phew, escaped that one! It's hard to know when you are going to have a 'strong' urge day. I'm thinking, this is easier this time. Not so fast. I saw someone drinking a beer and the craving would not stop. I wasn't close enough to smell it, but I sure could in my mind and taste it. On top of that, I'm not even a big beer drinker. It wasn't my normal choice of drink. I was throwing all my thinking 'at' it, but that urge wasn't budging. Long story short, I stopped at the store and loaded two bags of sweets and a frozen pizza. I just finished a cup of Moose Tracks ice cream and that did the trick. Fortunately, I remembered from previous attempts that filling my stomach with food or a sweet treat can usually help. I'll call it the calorie trade off strategy. We just don't know which day is going to produce a 'strong' craving. We need different tactics at different times. Talk about guilt free food. Now I have some goodies on hand for the next day this comes at me.

Thank you, G...appreciated.

Byrd, not even Rosie the Riveter. :eek-new:

Everyone have a good evening.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see everyone checking in on this Hump day

Byrdie, be careful out on the road tomorrow. This coastal storm that's brewing up may or not be as far south as you but still.....

We're told to expect high winds, rain, possibly snow, power outages, etc - everything but locusts I think, ha ha! Sounds like March is certainly coming in like a lion!!!

LC, sleeping in a sitting position is helpful if you can do that. I sure hope you can make your trip as planned.

Crusader, those pop-up cravings in the early days were scary, good to have a plan in place. The best thing is those cravings/thoughts become very infrequent as time goes on

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav