Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - I missed your post the last time I was here, or maybe it came in while I was typing and mulling. Yes, what you and NS have both mentioned in the past and again now is this similar idea of thoughts of drinking being just that - thoughts. I've felt like I understood that before, but for some reason it made different sense to me when I read Ava's post. Now wrapping back around and seeing Lav's comment about moving from cravings to urges to thoughts to "I used to's" and then nothing helps me see another layer of all this. That's part of why I love this nest - we might cycle through various topics on occasion, but each time through there are some new gems.

Thanks to all for being here and for contributing what you've got!

Kensho - sorry to hear about the designer. My mom died of pancreatic cancer, even though she had zero risk factors for it. Never drank or smoked in her life. It is a horrific way to die - I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope she finds good care and as much comfort as possible.


Happy Friday or almost-Friday nesters! It's almost the freakin' weekend again!

[Jod]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sometimes, I type my messages outside the forum and paste to avoid being timed out. Is there a way to expand the log in time?

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f...ost-posts.html

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Today is a happy Un-hung, albeit still sick Friday for me..

How are all of you doing today? I'd love to hear about any nice plans you might be having this weekend so as to have the chance to live vicariously through them! I'm pretty sure I'll be in the same spot I've been in since Monday afternoon. I don't like to hear that others are sick, but knowing I'm not the only one and that it's going around like crazy does make me feel a little less alone.. It's odd but probably because of all the years of causing my illnesses by drinking alcohol, I have had the feeling this week that it's my fault that I'm sick.? No, my immune system isn't as strong as it could be, but I can't really say I did this to myself.

Wags, I also love it when I see/hear information/stories in a new way.. finding gems is such a nice way to put it.
yes, Kensho, very sad and sorry to hear about your fellow designer.. these tragic situations do tend to put our lives quickly into perspective.:hug:
Slave to alcohol, Byrdie.. well put. Locked in a prison within our own minds..
Crusader, thanks again for posting the info about Neuroplasticity.. did you post it here, too? It's like Wags just mentioned.. I've read these things so many times, but I always get something out of reading them again. It was very positive! The healing power of the brains!

So with all my time at home I've had and have been taking care of the luxury of "too much time on my hands"..
20 minute intervals of meditating, painting, practicing the piano!.. ha, it's so fun playing out of the book I had as a child.. wayfaring stranger.. all of these things lift my spirit, my mood and make me so happy and grateful to be sober, present in my life.

Wishing everyone a lovely beginning to the weekend..

Would love to hear from Moonking.. don't think we've heard from her since she was going in to see the doctor.. I'm a bit worried. Has anyone heard from her?
J-vo, big hugs and hope you head back to the Nest very soon. I'm thinking of you a lot and hope you are getting help..:love:
Kiwi, let us know if you're alright..
ok. xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

20 minute intervals of meditating, painting, practicing the piano!.. ha, it's so fun playing out of the book I had as a child.. wayfaring stranger.. all of these things lift my spirit, my mood and make me so happy and grateful to be sober, present in my life.

I would LOVE to have the opportunity to practice the piano again!!! My parents had me take lessons for a few years as a child - it was a barter, where my mom tutored the music teacher's kids and she in turn gave my brother and I piano lessons. I kinda hated it at the time, but it's one of the few things I regret a bit and wish I had put a little more effort into. Someday maybe a keyboard... Glad to hear you're not only having this opportunity LC but that you're TAKING it! All of your current choices are great ways to use your "too much" time in a positive productive sober manner Sorry you're still sick though.

[MENTION=23999]moonking[/MENTION] - I echo LC here - we'd love to hear from you.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

LC - Love it. I was talking to a friend who had a traumatic experience, and I told her I could take two days off work to go be with her if she needed. She said, "but you're so busy," and I said, "I can un-busy myself for you - you're that important to me." SHE said, "Isn't it funny that we can un-busy ourselves for others, but not for ourselves..." That stuck with me yesterday. I looked ahead in my calendar and took two days off to un-busy myself for ME! Sorry it took getting so sick, but I'm glad you're taking advantage of it.

I love that exercise - what IF we acted on every thought? That would be a hysterical disaster over here - not sure I'd have any relatives left, and pretty sure I'd weigh 500 pounds...

Today is Day 5 of the week I was so anxious about. So far so good, although I don't want to jinx myself (scientific term, jinx). Hope to check in tomorrow and say it all went smooth...

Stay safe all you US East Coasters.

Happy Friday - my ticket is to Snoozeville, not Boozeville!

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC and Wags,I've been wondering about Moonking too and wondered if I was just missing her posts,hope she's doing ok,waves to all the nesters

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everyone.

Lifechanges, I posted over in the cafe a link to a new thread with the link to the article and some others. I'll be adding to it, so thought it best to put it all in one place for anyone who wants to read on the topic and reference it easily when needed. I'm with you, very positive. Sounds like you are using your time to feed your brain. Here's the cafe link with my post today and the link to the Scientific Information Thread:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/general-discussion/92217-cattleman-cafe-24-a-428.html#post1737809

https://www.mywayout.org/community/long-term-moderators/95331-scientific-information.html

Wags, my mom died of Pancreatic cancer as well. It had spread to over 80 percent of her liver and into the spleen when she had the stroke. There are intense horror stories with all of this along with SEVERE negligence in the medical field from never being diagnosed after seeing doctors for some time to her ultimate stroke. It led to emergency transportation to the local hospital, then to another hospital's ICU and into another level in that hospital with a week of one fall up after another in that hospital, then sent to a rehab facility where I had more fits that this was wrong, to another hospital which after a week finally told us the real problem. WOW! It was so awful watching her suffer and I'm talking a lot of unnecessary suffering from the incomprehensible treatment and errors. I stayed with her night and day and took care of her and her interests the best I could. I had to make some horrible decisions with my mom and she had lost her speech from the stroke. I made charts and that helped us communicate. It was a horrifying experience which I try not to ruminate about because I just can't. She went into a care facility with hospice visits in the end. There is so much more horror in this story that I could never imagine being SO bad from the beginning of her not feeling well, to the end. I lost someone else, too, but I can't post on that subject. I have done my best after a couple months of total devastation to drinking excessively because I just wanted to die. I tried to keep it all in a box with a lid, but we know it finds its way out. Just typing this I am in tears. I know I have to accept all this that is outside of my control and move on. My mom was somewhat afraid to die. I think most of us are. It may sound strange, but I offered to go with her because I loved her that much. Of course, she would not let me. So starting this year, I have been thinking about the fact she would not want me to throw my life away. She loved me dearly and as a mom would want me to live on and take care of myself. At some point, I may tell the group who the other person I lost was, but not now. It is amazing I've been able to pull myself out to this point of not wanting to leave to escape the pain.

Pauly, when read your thread, I saw someone's response about your brother wanting to escape the pain, not life. I think there is immense validity to that with many suicides. It takes so much to get through it. I've been through a lot of hell in my life, and I can attest to the fact some pain can be the stuff nightmares are made out of.

This is day 15. I've made my two week mark. Next short term goal 30 days.

Thanks everyone for your responses.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Un Hung Friday here and we have a snowfall warning. It’s been snowing like crazy today and some roads are closed.

Crusader, I am so sorry for what you went through with your mom. That is such a sad story. Your mom was so lucky to have you there for her. I know these thoughts are painful but just putting them down in writing like you just did might help you move through the pain. It really sucks though- big hug from me. You are doing SO well with your quit, hang on to that.

So my job which I love is ending March 7 because we ran out of work but that is the way it is in the oil patch. Hopefully I will find something again soon. In the meantime I will enjoy my downtime and relax.

I will check in later.
Don’t drink today

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you, narilly.:heartbeat:

Had urges today from sadness first (woke with a nightmare), and two very frustrating events. I kept telling myself not to drink at it; nothing will change by doing that. I came home and had another cup of ice cream. No, I will not trade addictions, but it took the urge away for the second time. Right now, I'm willing to do whatever it takes even if for now it is a food treat.


Have a good night all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thats the way it's done, Crusader! Great job on pushing thru. This is a skill and we get better at it every single day. Im so sorry for all the losses you have endured. Back in late 2007 -early 2008, I had a series of horrific events. I didnt undersand how all this could be happening. I told a friend at the time and he said ‘everyone has a really low point in their lives, and its just your turn’. At the time, I didnt appreciate his words, but I do now. It WAS my turn and if we live long enough, we are going to suffer some great losses. I guess that is the price of love. It sucks bad. I am wishing you strength and peace. I will be the first to award you your hat when you hit that 30 day mark!

Pav, I was out in all that sideways rain yesterday making cold calls! I looked like a homeless person! Yuck!

Today I was slammed at work. The phone rang and it was a solicitor. This one dove right in to her pitch, I wanted to stop her but she apparently didnt need to breathe. She got to the end of her spheel for walk-in tubs and asked me if I wanted to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer. I said, Im so glad you called, believe it or not, I sell buglar alarms systems and WE are having a sale, too! CLICK. She hung up on me ! Ugg, I try to be sympathetic to them , I have to make calls, too, but at least Im not pushy, just persistant!

Its only Friday, not a tixket to Boozeville! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick wave HELLO to all the Nesters!

The big mean, nasty storm knocked out our power & the power company says it may not be back on until 5 pm on Sunday!!!!

This will be an adventure especially since our grandsons are here for the night, ha ha!

Be safe in the nest everyone!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=24140]Crusader[/MENTION] - so sorry to hear how horrible things were for your mom. I sympathize and empathize, and send you hugs. I understand the level of sadness you speak of, and I applaud the hard work I know you've done to begin to climb out of it. Sometimes it can look and feel like we'll never resurface again, but somehow we do. I'm so glad you're here :heartbeat:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Un-hung Saturday Morning, Nesters..

Crusader, I wish you were closer so I could give you a big, long hug. (I'm a hugger).. I'm very sorry to hear about all you've been through. I'm so glad you're here now, working through all the emotions you're having with a clear mind, learning about what's going on inside your brain, learning new ways to deal with the pain you've had/are still having. I appreciate very much all that you've shared with us. I hope you won't worry too much about the ice cream at this point.. you're doing such a great job..:love:

Byrdie, that sounds like a terrible time, out on the streets in the rain making cold calls.. yuck. Did you have a cozy evening later, at least? I guess you haven't had any time to bake lately? Will you be getting a break sometime soon?

Nar, Sorry to hear you're losing a job you love.. I hope you'll find something else you love soon.. until then, glad to hear you can relax a bit and enjoy the down time..

So, not much going on here this weekend. This morning I feel better than I have in a week.. but still not really great so I will continue to stay inside and be quiet. I wouldn't have been ok flying today, so I'm glad I made the decision not to go to the conference.. I will be very happy to be done with this.

I hope you all have a nice weekend planned..
Lav, what a drag regarding the power! You've got some sort of secondary source, I guess? Have a nice time with your grandsons!
Pav, How'd you make it through Friday?

:hug: to all!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nestlings,
I'm back and in need of accountability as I try to avert a full dive back into the rabbit hole. My anxiety has been at an all time high due to quite normal activities of teens, but it has all come so fast. and I know full well that AL makes anxiety come back with a vengeance. as someone here said "you know what to do" and I do until that AL brain takes over.

Just been poking around...reading. Feeling encouraged.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION] - really glad you came here right away as you started feeling things slip. How's your toolkit? Maybe grab a few new ideas from there or the relapse in retrospect thread? I'll poke around and try to post a link here. Regardless, you're taking great first steps by posting here. Now what else works well for you? For me it's things like:

- playing the tape forward (move your thoughts past the tempting first few moments or hours of drinking to the tomorrows and beyond - remind yourself of the full reality of what al does to you)

- the 15-minute rule (when he thought of drinking comes, the self-agreement is to put it on the back burner for 15 mins and distract yourself, then see how you feel in 15 mins. Often the urge passes, but if not, repeat the 15-min rule again)

- the "well, I don't drink, so how else can I cope/soothe/distract/escape/whatever???" - in this one you simply remind yourself that drinking is actually NOT an option and thus you make it non-negotiable and force yourself to choose something else.

Those are my top go-to strategies beyond posting and reading here. I'm sure others will chime in as well. Please keep us posted and know you are not alone.