Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks, [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION]. Those are great ideas to remember when the craving/urge hits. Of course I knew those things at one time, but all seemed to get lost in the sauce. Playing the tape forward was always a good tactic for me, but lately I have not been able to do that so well. or just had a case of the f*ck its. I do love the 15 minute idea. I will concentrate on that one...just for today.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Crusader - I thought I was going to substitute ice cream for alcohol forever and that I'd have to fight that addiction, too. Turns out after I made it through about a year I could get perspective on the ice cream as well. I was "rewarding" myself for not drinking alcohol, especially on weekends and special occasions. Didn't do much for my waistline, but at least I wasn't drinking. I did have the same mentality as when I was drinking, however - "I deserve this..." I have come to the conclusion that what I deserve is to take good care of myself. That could mean healthy food, exercise, and even ice cream - just not three nights a week!

Nar - sorry about your job. Good luck with a new one (as soon as you want and need, but not a moment sooner!)

Lav - Wow - no power and two kids? Sounds like an adventure...

Byrdie - my dad does that with people who knock on his door. He says he's willing to listen to them if they will listen to him for the same amount of time - and he gets to go first! Hah - they somehow never stick around.

Welcome back, Belle! Glad you came back quickly. 15 minutes at a time. I recommend a good bath with lavender bath salts - kept me occupied a lot of the time. That and Netflix.

I made it through my week - it was mostly smooth, and even the things I couldn't control went relatively well. I am exhausted and need to go to work today to catch up on all I missed in my emails, but feel good. Thanks for all of your support.

Happy SOBER Saturday.

Pav

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Saturday All!

Day 16! Just checking in for now. I ran out of time to read and type out messages in the nest, so I'll be back later.

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon all.

I'm back from errands.

Thank you, Brydlady. It really helped to have a 'don't drink at it’ in my toolbox. Different approaches or statements work at different times. I was REALLY frustrated and upset with these two different situations yesterday, and this was the first time I reached in and pulled out that thinking. It was good enough to get me away long enough to take another avenue. I appreciate finding that tool here. The other day, I used ‘if one, why not none’. The situations or AL thoughts dictate which tool will be more useful, so I’m happy I’ve collected quite a few to use. I do believe you are right; it is a skill to be developed. The brain will get better and better over time, but I realize the other personality may try some other tricks I’ll need to adapt to moving forward. I’m smiling today having made it this far out of the darkness, and realize the fight will continue.


quote: " told a friend at the time and he said ‘everyone has a really low point in their lives, and its just your turn."



Your friend's words are true. Of course, some of us can rack up several of those time periods, but it’s so true if we live long enough, we will have at least one that is devastating. Yes, that’s the price of love. The more we love, the harder we fall. I know there is some skill building and emotional mastery involved in that topic as well. It’s been on my mind for some time and is now on my list of work to be done. A survival skill if you will. When I was pulling into the driveway from my errands today, the following song came on the radio. It’s so true. I’ll have to find the movie and give it another viewing soon. I’m hooked on ‘Alone’ since I found it yesterday.


Everybody Hurts

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on
'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand
Oh, no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you're not alone
If you're on your own
In this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much
Of this life
To hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
You are not alone

Thank you, Wagmor and Lifechange. A tight warm hug back to you both. I can be a hugger, too! I watch to not cross someone's boundaries, but definitely hug when I feel someone needs it. I'm just thinking about our commonalities as human beings having the human experience. We should be more unitied than divided as a species.

Pav, I'm pretty good with my weight and food control. I won't be able to to eat ice cream regularly anyway. It starts to bother my stomach. It's a short term solution in these early days. I plan on adding things in along the journey. I usually bite too much off at once and fall on my face, so I'm alright with grabbing the ice cream or treat instead of a drink for now. I don't feel that, 'I deserve it', feeling. I just know that having my stomach filled or satisfied stops the urge and solves the sugar withdrawal by a daily dose. I started my plan with exercise, but found that it made me very shaky, and I felt terrible afterwards. I scratched that off of this phase. I'll add it back with more time under my belt and more nutrition in my body. I've added in a few supplements I know I need, and dinner has had veggies for some time. Thanks for the thoughts.

Have a great day, everyone. I'm off to watch an episode of 'Alone'. Great show, imo.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Welcome back Belle, great advice from wags. for me it was to avoid situations that made me want to drink or to avoid situations where i wanted to drink at someone. being in those situations became a learned behaviour along the track. i also in the early days just drove to work and drove home. i did my shopping before the bottle shops opened and never took a credit card if i went for a walk. There is no finish line with sobriety, each day i use the tools i have gathered over the years and i am happy now. I remember my anxiety was a nightmare when i drank, i was starting to take a xanax a day to keep anxiety at bay (that rhymes!) and still had the shakes every day. always blamed it on something else, never al, never! My anxiety is still with me but it is very rare that i will be crippled by it like i was. All i have to do is not drink.

LC i hope you are feeling a lot better now. The vet put the needles down her spine and one on her forehead. i was in disbelief when poppy let her as she is a rottweiler in a shitzu's body but the poor girl is apparently in a lot of pain. its hard when they cant tell you but i could see she was struggling each day. i just didnt want to shove more pills down her throat. she seems a bit freer in her movement but still has a long way to go. we have another appointment on Friday so fingers crossed and the new drugs seem to be working also. Mads is doing well, running around like a 2 year old turning 15.

Crusader sending you hugs on your losses, i am glad you did it sober even though the system obviously has a lot to answer for. I work in a hospital and occasionally this happens but it should never happen, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. All those things that are too hard for you at the moment, put them away for another time that you feel strong enough to sort through. After 4 years i have nearly completed sorting out my box of worries from over the years but i am not in a hurry, they took 50 years to finally start sorting out when i stopped drinking.

Maybe Moon has had her baby now. where is kiwi?

A quiet weekend for me, i've been down with a virus but feeling pretty ok thus far this morning. my daughter is coming to visit today which means a haircut and a good gossip session. boys do so not gossip much.

I hope you have the power back on Lav though mighty romantic with candles burning!

take care xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Struggling, but getting by 15 minutes at a time. The teenage lovebirds downstairs are on my last nerve. Caught them "napping" in the bedroom down there. Not on my watch... The giggling is getting to me. This is the type of situation that sends me over the edge.

I did take a bath, thanks to Pav's suggestion. But emerged to find the girlfriend here. She has issues. She is loud. But hopefully this relationship will run its course...and then of course there will be another to take her place.

Just venting and trying to keep away from the booze. 15 minutes at a time...

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Linda, I hope you feel better, working in a hospital, I bet you catch everything but men and money! Here’s to a speedy recovery for you and I hope your doggies feel better, too.
Lav, no electricity gets old in a hurry. I hope the power company has that up and running for you, soon.
Interestingly, I rarely ate ice cream before I quit drinking. I have always had to watch my weight and ice cream just wasnt a necessity for me, I could take it or leave it. Now, it’s a different story, I consider it a REAL treat. I try to savor it when I get it and really enjoy it and be mindful. It bothers my tummy, too, Crusader, I have to take a Beano. Over the years, Ive heard people say they couldnt imagine enjoying a vacation, or a sunset or a wedding without a glass of wine. There was a time I thought that, too. Now, I can kind of say that about ice cream. What would vacation be without Moose Tracks? Funny how our perspextive changes.

Been a lazy day here, just what I needed! Pav, hope you are getting some rest, too. Kensho, how is your work going?
Belle, welcome back, girl. Do whatever it takes.
Wishing everyone an easy evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

The storm is gone & the power is back on & the boys have gone home
Sometimes I get the feeling I'm getting a little too old for these unplanned adventures but everything worked out OK. Actually, my biggest worry was not having the heat lamp for my 12 little fuzzy friends in the laundry room, ha ha! I dragged the box of chicks right into the living room & kept them in front of the fireplace so they were fine!

Belle, hello & welcome back!
I didn't know if I was going to live thru my kid's teen years but I did, you will too :hug:
Put the majority of your focus on you right now so that you can stay on top of things.

Ava, hope you feel better soon & love your new hair cut

Crusader, great job on your AF time. Staying close to the nest was a huge help for me so please keep checking in with us.

No one knows what's going on with MoonKing? I sure hope everything is OK.
Kiwi, please check in as well.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Day 17.


Up early again, but I noted this time and a few day ago, this was due to someone's selfishness. I typed out a whole paragraph on some deep issues that HAVE to be dealt with, but deleted it. I'll put it in my journal. I need more time to get healthy. Meanwhile, this person is not letting me get healthy because of their selfishness and drunken behavior. I am committed to staying sober regardless of just how much I find on my plate to deal with. It's interesting to see what was making you want to drink, is now becoming a reason not to drink. Anyway, I'll work some of this out filling blank pages with ink.

Thank you for your thoughts, AVA. I only outlined the story. The full story would sound like fiction, but it is far from that. I agree with you on putting it away and dealing with it slowly. I have tried to do that, but it falls out of the box either in a huge dump or in pieces. I tried to keep my focus on other things, but reminders, dreams, someone mentions these sensitive issues or I do at times and it can be a hurricane of pain. I hear you, though. :heartbeat:

Thanks Lav. I'm really going for it this time. Moments of weakness try to invade, but I'm doing my best currently to stay the course.

Have a good AF Sunday, all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, all.
Crusader, I am so glad to hear that you are all in this time. You are so right in your statement about those things that used to make us want to drink now being the very reasons not to. I tell you, I’ve never done anything more rewarding that getting sober. Well, STAYING sober. Hang in there, we are all very proud of your Day 17 and pulling for you.

Lav, so happy to hear your power is back on and the chicks are warm!
Enjoying this beautiful day. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here here Byrdie and Crusader, that is a good one. ‘Things that used to make us want to drink are now our reasons for being sober’. I like that.

Belle, keep coming back, it makes all the difference. Can you leave the house and go for a walk?

So we have record amounts of snowfall here. We have never had this much snowfall since they stared keeping records in 1885. Holy. Crap eh!
Anyway, I am sober and grateful for that. So nice reading your posts everyone.
Xo

Don’t drink today.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Narilly, I've heard about your epic snowfall this winter - hope everything is OK & it all melts very soon

Hi there Byrdie, Crusdaer & everyone!

We just got back from a celebration dinner for our granddaughter's 7th BD - how time flies
There are still many thousands of people without power in our surrounding communities since Friday's storm. Now we are told another almost identical storm is blowing in here Tuesday night into Wednesday
These are the things that make me so grateful for my quit. I feel ready to handle just about anything with ease, no panic episodes, no craziness
It hit me this morning that I am coming up on 9 years on the 26th. It feels like a long time yet a moment of 'stupidness' could mess it all u., I won't let that happen, not ever.

Fight for your quits everyone & keep them close when you forever!!!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday evening to all, Thankfully I made it through the weekend. Went out to dinner tonight and had my go to fave drink: tonic water with twist of lime...no ice. I feel shaky, and I don't know why. Lav...yes I'm not sure I'll make it thru the teen years, but my parents did and I was no picnic.

Narilly...thanks for thinking of me today. I don't envy you with the snow. This week is going to be a major pain in the butt with appointments, orchestra concert, gymnastics and a meeting at the high school. very little down time, but I will make myself a priority and try my best to check in every day. Even though I may not say a whole lot, it makes me feel good to know you folks out there are pulling for each of us to make it each day without the AL.

‘Things that used to make us want to drink are now our reasons for being sober’ is a great quote. I will put that in my personal toolbox.

[mywayin]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi y’all !

Going on day 19 here

Reading and appreciating all your posts and I feel guilty for not contributing. So much to be said about everything and where to start?

I’m going through dreadful times right now with so many challenges I wonder if I’ll be able to surmount them.
I won’t even go into the details but just to give an idea, husband had surgery last Thursday and it was much more serious than we expected. He’s going to be fine but they were crazy to send him home the same day and I’ve been nursing hime 24/7. Son has been unemployed for 3 months now and can’t seem to get his career on track. Money problems big-time. Huge family dispute… lawyers, law suits, etc. etc. And the house is freezing cold. Lav, you wouldn’t even want to keep your little chicks in here

Thank god I’m not drinking! I’d never be able to overcome all this.

So, onward and upward!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Un-hung Monday morning, Nesters..

Saturday and Sunday mornings are always my favourite Un-hung mornings, where I have a loud sigh of relief that THAT isn't my life anymore, but Monday mornings are a close 2nd. I used to HATE to start off the week with a headache and hangover.. To dread the days coming, not quite knowing how I'd get through them. Usually continuing to drink because it was all I could think of to do to "get through". I'm grateful to be feeling pretty good right now.. on the other end of the sickness, which though it was pretty hard-core, was nothing like a bad hang over.. At least I didn't bring it on myself!

Crusader, well done on 17 days! Things that used to make me want to drink are some of my main reasons for being sober, too.. Well put. Here's to getting it out on paper.. slowly, slowly. You are doing a great job of working through your problems, Crusader.. I hope you're in the middle of a good sleep..

Belle, so good to see you back in the Nest. I agree that teenagers can put us to the test of our limits.. but what I'm finding is that I HAVE to be sober to deal with them. I have to be full on in my game, able to stand my ground with a clear head and authority, if need be. Do you have a partner you're raising the kids with? Do you have some friends you can talk to? Hang in there.. keep coming here to get things off your chest..:hug:

Mywayin. great job on 19 days.. I was just thinking about you yesterday, hoping you were doing alright. I'm sorry to hear about your Husband.. I hope he'll be better soon. It's a lot you have on your plate at the moment.. :hug: Do you all have warm water bottles? Our flat is also quite chilly and the girls and I walk around wearing lots of cozy clothes, slippers and warm water bottles under our sweaters. We also have lots of blankets.. ahh, I just saw that you're in France. Do you get a nice Spring and warm Summer at least?

Lav, you sure have a lot going on! Glad you were able to keep the little chicks warm.. looking forward to celebrating with you on the 26th!

Ok everyone, let's make this the best week we can. There's usually something small we can pull out of every day to be grateful for. My gratitude journal sometimes seems like a joke, especially after racking my brain to come up with with little things like, a cup of hot tea, the birds chirp chirping at dawn, a moment of complete silence.. but it's more than nothing.. and quite a lot on some days.. xx