Newbies Nest

[mywayin]

Re: Newbies Nest

I think this is the time to start a practice of gratitude (following Lav's lead). Maybe write down every day three things you're grateful for, and/or three ways in which your life is better without alcohol. Sounds hokey, I agree, but darn if it doesn't work

Thank you Pav, that is a great idea and I'm going to start right away.
I'm grateful that my husband is getting better from his surgery. I'm grateful that our son just landed a good job. I'm grateful that my husband stopped drinking along with me and is much more helpful with all our current challenges.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Dutch i am so very sorry to hear about your brother, no words can express how you must feel at this time. Congratulations on your 3rd birthday sober, i know we learn to deal with life using the tools learnt and given, never lose those Dutch.

Crusader and Myway great work on 3 weeks, one day at a time is all we can do and you are both doing it.

Pav, i had a chuckle, we are a family of "long backs", now maybe this is why we connected as twins on here!

LC we deal with the happy marketing of al here also and it pees me off no end but i suppose for normal drinkers they dont focus on all of the adds flooding the market, i know my SO never comments on all the al ads but i seem to have radar ears when an ad comes on. It is totally unnecessary though, if people want to go and buy it then they do, we dont need to listen to the virtues of how good it is for us or how we need it on a sunny afternoon to make us happy. never made me happy in the end and would not now.

Lav, i remember about 6 years ago my daughter saying she would never let me look after her children, she never said why but i knew. It killed me when she said that but the truth hurts. now i have bloody given up drinking and she says she is never having children! Least i have 3 others to make me a nana and a sober one to boot. I would of never left any grandchildren with me now i think back on it either.

My long week of hospital for work and child is now over till Tuesday. They eventually discharged my daughter at 9pm on Thursday and then went to her home Friday. Complaining about the pain but i can care from afar unless she needs me then i will go and get her. I am so happy i could be there for her each and every day, its times like these that i feel so bloody proud to be sober and that i know she is truly grateful for having her mum fully there. I thought this week "why did i f#ck up my life with drinking and why did i not realise back then what i put myself and children through sometimes" but i know i cannot change the past and i know i can be so proud of myself now but i had a case of the regrets and whatifs. Then my daughter told me i was the best mum in the world and i realised that the past doesnt matter anymore, its what i do today that counts.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry to hear about your brother Dutch. Condolences to you and family. Thanks for your post, and congrat's on 3 years sober. Wow! Nice to hear from you.

So good Ava!

Big waves to all. Off to work here. have a great weekend. There was a noticable omission from my inbox. No ticket to boozeville......Right on.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Grateful for another chilly but dry day with no precipitation

Dutch, thanks for stopping in & Congrats on your 3 years AF.
I remember how concerned you were about your brother, very sorry for your loss. Stop in more often, we'll be here.

Ava, I'm happy to hear your daughter is healing well. You know what happens when they say they will never have kids..........ha ha! You will make a very fine one day, I am quite sure

Not much going in in Lav-land, just watching my chicks consume huge amounts of starter feed & growing like teenagers! LOL
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Crusader, keep going towards the light, Im so glad that your world is opening up and you can see the endless possibilities. The amount of growth and understanding is hard to put into words. Until it happens to you, you just cant undersand it. Im glad its happening for you! It was like seeing the world in color for the first time.

Kensho, you sound GREAT! We were very resistant cases, but we got across to the other side! You radiate more xonfidence and ....well, joy!

Dutch, happy three years! :three: very proud of you! How are the kids??? Great to see you!

TGIF!!! Two days of NOT thinking,,,,ahh, perfect! Maybe I can lay my hands on some Moose Tracks! Who’s with me?!
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening everyone,
I've been MIA for a couple of days, but have not had a drink. Today is day 7. It has been a busy week of school related activities in the evening. Orchestra concert, "100 days to graduation" meeting to start planning for the big day and a meeting for parents and kids going on the orchestra cruise. No time to drink if I had wanted to...well we alkies could always slip one in whenever. I know I could. I was always good about not drinking and driving though. At this 7 day point I am not feeling any gravitational pull to AL. Even though I have a houseful of teens here tonight. I know they will leave and peace will return at some point.

It sounds like all are doing well in the nest. It's cozy and warm here. Who else here is wondering if spring is really going to show itself? We have had wind, wind and more wind. and it is getting old. I kind of wish I was one of Lav's chicks.

I don't know you Dutch, but 3 years is awesome. But never get lazy about protecting your quit. I lost mine almost 5 years in. and it has not been easy getting back. I am so sorry about what happened to your brother. of course drinking would have had no positive effect on anything. I am so happy I was sober for both the death of my Mother and my Father. I was able to be completely there, especially in the last couple of months of my Dad's life when I spent almost every weekend caring for him. I treasured those days, and fortunately have a clear memory (and conscience) of being there with him. I was by his side when he passed. Again...so thankful that I was sober when he needed me.

Have a great night...and sober weekend all.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Dutch - I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your brother. I can't even imagine how difficult that was, and how challenging your year has been since then. My heart goes out to you, and I also applaud your resolve to protect your quit and truly mourn for him (as painful as that probably has been). Kudos on 3 years. :hug:

Ava - so glad your daughter is out of the hospital and on the mend. Even gladder that you're able to be there for her, sober.

Bellegirl - Congrats on day 7!!! Your first freakin' week is over and in the books. Soak up that good feeling, and on to day 8

Kensho - the question you raised is similar to one of the many the author addresses in "Unexpected Joy of Being Sober." She talks about how, for many alkies, the pathway of using al to cope with *whatever* becomes a path well-trodden. The more we use it, the more likely we are to just turn to it again, which then in turn reinforces it and makes it more likely the next time as well. This is why it's such an effort at the beginning, or even after a length of time, to maintain a quit - we are truly carving a new path and trying not to fall into the deep ruts of our old one. Gradually the old path diminishes, but if I remember right she says it never truly goes away.

As for the "what" we are/were trying to numb, I'd guess there are some strong commonalities across all of us but also some real differences. Things we don't want to feel -- anxiety, aloneness, pain, boredom, sadness, etc. Then there's the "celebration" side of drinking that gets pushed onto us by society and advertising. Al is supposed to bring fun, relaxation, social ease, lack of inhibition.

Sigh... regardless, it's all lies. Al is a poison that promises mirages or dreams that are actually nightmares for many of us.

I don't drink. How about all of you?

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

A quick check in on Day 23.

I'm tired today, but I think it is stress related to a current situation and has nothing to do with the cycle of AL. The day started well yesterday, but went south into feeling depressed and stressed in my situation. With that said, I will not drink. That will only cloud my head and the problems will still be there to solve. I march toward my 30 days.

Bryd...get in your delivery truck and bring me some. I'm with you! lol Mine is gone. Another household member found it tasty as well. I may pick some up today, but I had chocolate yesterday, so it was satisfying. I wonder how chocolate makes everyone feel. I've noted a couple times I've indulged in the last few weeks a bit of depression that follows. Has anyone else had that happen to them? I don't get it with the Moose Tracks, so it may be in the amount in a chocolate bar on its own?

Sorry to hear about your twin brother, Dutch. I know the pain of loss. We all handle it differently. My grief was terrible, but then I started numbing it more heavily and now I'm dealing with it a little at a time. Each episode brings a lot of tears. I can't take it on all at once. I'm glad you have some help and know how to cope with it. :heartbeat:

I hope everyone has a good AF day.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nope Wags! I don’t drink and I’m proud of that. I’ve worked really hard to understand that.

Enjoying coffee with the family, our Saturday AM ritual. Fighting off a migraine too. Things are good. I’m happy. Not euphoric, just a good, solid appreciation for my life.

Have a good day!!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just wanted to fly by and say how much I love reading and appreciate the postings in the nest. There is always food for thought. Always helpful advice to avoid the devil AL. Always encouragement from near and far. I wish I could offer more, but at this point I'm just trying to keep my head above water (with all going on in Belle land) and out of the AL.

Wags, your post especially gave me a lot to think about. And Ava...we can still be good mothers no matter what happened in the past. Fortunately my kids were younger when a lot of the AL crazy was going on, but now that they are teens I definitely need to be there for them and not a bad example. Keeping my head straight to deal with the daily train of issues is paramount.

I do not drink either!!

Good day, all!

(I keep thinking today is Sunday...is it already Sunday in Ava land?)

HA! I was just thinking, there should be a "like" button for these posts, like in Facebook. And I just found that there indeed is one!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Yes Belle Sunday over here and a public holiday tomorrow. Daughter doing fine. Made it to the SO's and his aunt is in hospital and deteriorated last night so off we went at 11pm. i might just book a bed for a rest i think. My fingers crossed she is ok but she is a very unwell lady and its nearly been a year since SO's mum died which is difficult enough for him at the moment.

I look at what i do now sober and see a totally different person to the drunk who woke with the GSR's and hungover each and every single day and all i can do is be grateful i was given this 2nd chance in life.

We are now off for breakfast and to visit his aunt. he is hurrying me up but he knows i need to read and check in here so he is being kind of patient, not one of his virtues.

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, I hope SO’s aunt is going to be ok. Poor guy, he has had his share this year.
We really ARE different people than the ones who showed up here all those years ago. A second chance, indeed. I held a death grip on AL, I tried SO HARD to be better at controlling the uncontrollable. If only Id known the peace that comes with letting it go. I wish I could show folks who are afraid of a future without AL just what they will gain by relinquishing it. Its no contest, Im 1000 times happier without AL than I was WITH it. For me, there is NO LIVING with AL.
Keep up the great work, everyone! It is worth it. Not drinking is as much a way of life for me now as drinking used to be. But I must remain vigilant.
Lav, how are the babies?
Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters,

Yep, no drinking here either. My wall of gratitude is strong & keeps me safe

Belle, Congrats on your 7 AF days :yay:
Keep moving forward, you can do this!

Ava, geez, sorry to hear about another illness in the family. The elders do keep us on our toes. Just this week one of my brothers was admitted to the hospital in Afib. Medications didn't correct his rhythm so he had to be cardioverted, ugh. But he's back in normal sinus rhythm & back at home now. Getting old certainly isn't for sissies

Glad to see everyone checking in & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!!

Lav

[mywayin]

Re: Newbies Nest

One day at a time. 😊

“It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.” Winston Churchill

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Byrdie - your post made me reflect on how I felt about drinking for the year before I quit. I held on with a death grip - my motto being, "I have to cut back because I don't want to have to quit!" Of course at some point I probably could have figured out THAT wasn't happening, but even when I first posted here I decided I would pretend I was here to quit forever, but I would just do it for 90 days and then disappear. Well, a concert meant I HAD to drink, and then the Thanksgiving Massacre happened. Thank goodness NS and Byrdie didn't just let me disappear - they sent messages and encouraged me to come back.

I was looking to read the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober because that is honestly how I feel. I knew I wouldn't wake with the GSR brothers any more, but I had absolutely NO idea how much I would benefit in ways I never expected. I guess I'm waking up on this Sunday morning extremely grateful.

CONGRATULATIONS, Dutch, on three years. I am so sorry about your brother, but I really, really like they way you wrote about it. Having to sit with the pain for now to be able to eventually experience thoughts of your brother without pain. Thanks for checking in.

Ava - hope you get some time to care for yourself and not just care for others. Superwoman! (Long backs...heh heh).

I am going to a birthday party for a good friend for lunch, and then I hope just relaxing this evening. So happy it will all be sober and without a hangover.

Pav