Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters!

Congrats on 30 Belle!!! :yay:

Hope you all are having a good weekend, whether celebrating Easter or not. I've been busy with work all weekend, and had a rather sad experience with a student this morning. I was scheduled to meet online with a young man (college age), and we agreed on 1030am his time (830am my time). I texted him in advance this morning to confirm, but didn't hear back. Then he didn't show up in the online classroom at the agreed upon time. I sent a reminder through the online classroom system. He finally answered me about 15 mins after we were supposed to start. He apologized - he had overslept, had been "partying" all night long with family, but could join me right away if I was still in the classroom. I was, so I agreed to wait a couple more minutes.

Ugh! He got on the video chat, and was clearly either very hungover or possibly still pretty drunk. I was embarrassed for him. He actually didn't even turn on his camera, so this was all just listening to him speak. He couldn't find his homework, then couldn't track a couple of questions I asked about it, and finally said under his breath that they "had done way too much for Easter."

I told him it was clear he wasn't in any shape to have class, and that we would be cancelling the session, with the cancellation fee I charge applied. I was so proud of myself for handling it in a very straightforward manner - tough love if you will, but not just being "nice" and letting him off the hook for wasting my time.

Honestly, I won't be surprised if I never hear back from him again. If he remembers our interaction, he'll probably be embarrassed. He might be mad that I charged him my very fair cancellation fee. I don't care, and I cannot care.

This young man wants to go to med school and he hired me to help him get there. I'm hoping this was just the lesson he needed. Better learn it now than from a med school prof or supervising physician, right?

It made me sad for him, but also reinforced for me how far I've come. That could've been me not too many years ago.

I hope you all had wonderful sober weekends. Don't be the guy who overslept and then tried to show up drunk for class. We think we're fooling people, but we're not.

Hugs to you all - catch you again tomorrow!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Happy Easter to those celebrating today

Belle, CONGRATS on your 30 AF days, yay!!! Yes, of course this is just your first 30...many more coming as we move forward together!

Kensho, I am feeling happy for you & proud that you protected your boundaries - great job!
I am right there with you in refusing to own someone else's problems, not doing it now or ever. You will most likely see your husband's drinking habits change over time like I did with mine. Sometimes they are just a little slower in acceptance of such truths.

Wags, geez that was quite an experience with the student. Glad you stood your ground as well & you were certainly generous with him. Too bad for him & I highly doubt med schools will welcome him with a work ethic like that.
I hope the rest of your day was much better

Hello to G, Byrdie, Roobs & everyone.
We had an unusually quiet Easter here, no visitors due to work schedules & other family commitments. Actually it was just fine, ha ha!!!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Easter Nesters...day 45.

It's been a busy weekend. Yesterday, I saw a couple newer dogs at the animal shelter. We lost our dog about a year ago. We've been thinking about replacing one, but wanted to wait. I've been watching the shelter for the last six months. Yesterday, I noticed they had two newer additions. I dragged my boyfriend there and we brought home a six year old love. I feel it's like the adoption agencies where the teens don't get picked out like the babies do. For me, I'm happy to have one already potty trained. So yesterday was spent doing that and getting supplies, so we are once again in the dog ownership.

Today we had my boyfriend's family brunch for Easter. It was nice. They had a real nice spread and some healthy choices as well. I did enjoy some foods outside of my diet I've been following, but of course, passed on the brunch drinks. Several of the family members aren't drinkers or if they do, it is very little and others are heavier drinkers. You don't get pressure to drink which is nice. That's something different in this part of my life and although my boyfriend drinks a lot, he is fine with me not drinking. We took the dog and she was very well behaved. What a doll. No begging, jumping, sniffing or trying to steal food. Just quietly walking around letting people pet her. I was very happy with how well she did. She didn't like the two other dogs, though. We had to separate them. The best we know she is an Australian Shepherd Mix. Two exposures with other dogs have occurred. One at the shelter with a visiting Pit Bull which didn't go well nor one with the Chocolate Lab at the party today. So, she is awesome with people and kids, but may not be taken on play dates. lol So, Crusader continues to make changes and build a different life. My dog can be my walking buddy.

Kensho, I hope your husband comes around like Lav's did. My boyfriend is a daily drinker, and I wondered if I'd be able to quit with him drinking around me all the time. Congrats to you handling what you need to do for you and not owning his issue. That's big! It is his issue. If he feels uncomfortable with you not drinking, he is having a conviction just as you pointed out. HIS IDEA or definition of fun doesn't have any reality in who you are. In some of my first quits I was always afraid of being boring. Well, that line of garbage can hit the trash can because it is trash. Honestly, I welcome some boring. Hang tight...you are on the right path! Maybe in time, you will have a positive effect on him. Unfortunately, there was a time I called people boring who didn't drink, so I know it isn't your issue AT ALL! The truth is, I wasn't behaving like an adult and I wanted others to be on my level. We can refer to Pav talking about making an ass out of ourselves. I bet not one of us doesn't have a closet full of those stories, the ones we remember or pieces of those memories.

Pav, see above and I try HARD not to think of some of my drunken adventures. I'm growing up these days, and learning that the past for the most part should stay there. We make mistakes and bad choices sometimes. We'll make less without AL as a problem. I'm getting too old for all that crazy making activity.

Belle, CONGRATS on 30 days! You are right behind me. Doesn't it feel good to make that one month goal?

Bryd, it's nice to hear you are having a restful weekend. You've earned it! Our neighbors party A LOT in the summer. I don't attend, so I don't have that problem. We don't socialize other than some chatting with our neighbors. I think it works better that way. Our friends live close, but not on our street.

Lav, I suppose I feel like I've cut my lifespan down with all the hell my body has been through and then what I've chosen to put it through. It may pass, but I came out of a whirlwind and feel a little bit of urgency in reclaiming some happiness. I wonder if anyone else feels that way? With that said, I'm coming into a place where I believe some things will never be resolved or repaired and what time I have left I want to be happy and peaceful regardless. Even a bit selfish if that is the right word for what I'm going through. I have always given every drop I've had in me and it really is a change for me to think about myself. I know that is very important now and a huge part of so much of my drinking. I, also, know those issues sure did tear me to pieces in the past, so I know I have to work hard with moving forward. I'm grabbing life for me and not just what works for someone else a step each day. Maybe part of it is age as well. (I hope my rambling makes sense.)

I have to return back outside. We have someone here cutting down our trees. I took a little time inside to rest and decided to read and post. I guess it got my mind thinking...

Hello to Wags, Roobs, G and anyone else I missed.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Crusader - so happy to hear you found a new pup to love! She sounds sweet, at least with people. Some dogs just don't click with other dogs, or have had experiences that affect their doggie interactions in a negative way. Maybe you'll be able to ease her into some pup friendships sometime down the road.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un-hung Easter Monday everyone!

Byrdie, thanks for the hat...I will wear it proudly! Unfortunately I lost the one from over 5 years ago...but this one was much harder to earn, so I will take better care of it! Thanks to all for the 30 day congrats! Dang...it took me over a year to get back to being AF after that one indiscretion at Christmas 2016. Ugh...

Crusader...congrats on the new pup. I'm sure she will give you at least as much love as you give her.

KENSHO...good for you standing your ground. Wags...too funny about the drunk student...but not.

Hi to everyone else, and wishing you all a good day in the nest. I try to take a twig with me wherever I go. and speaking of that, off to work I go.

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters...day 46.

Thank you, Wags and Belle. I was soooo tired by the late afternoon yesterday. I got up at 5 this morning and let pooch out. She seems to have some stomach issues today. I'm wondering if it was all the excitement or someone maybe slipped her some table food. Her stomach is making all kinds of noise and she snubbed her morning treat. You never know when you get a new dog. You have to figure it all out. I have my doctors visit tomorrow, and I need to make a vet appointment for Marley. The yard is full of cut up old trees, so this week should prove to be a busy one.

Have a good AF Monday, all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

A busy but fun weekend - we are having beautiful weather so it was great to get outside. Too much sugar yesterday, but other than that, all good.

Kensho - glad you stood your ground. That would have been weird - 1 drinker and 3 non-drinkers stopping by a tasting room. Boundaries are hard to set sometimes, because sometimes there's a little fallout.

LC - You around?

Happy Monday. It was hard for me to wake up today...

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - sounds like an uncomfortable situation last Fri (tasting room idea) but you did a great job! I think your analysis of your husband's need to have others essentially endorse his choices sounds spot on. I, too, hope he comes around for you - changing his own behaviors would be awesome, but at least fully supporting your choices would be a huge positive step. My partner is a daily drinker as well but I never get pressure to drink. Honestly, I'm not sure how I'd handle it if I did - it might be a deal breaker. It would at least merit some serious thought and conversation. And I know you've had many of those convos with your hubs but it seems to no avail

Crusader - hope your pup's stomach issue resolves quickly. It could be something as simple as needing to adjust to a different water in a different part of the city, or like you said - a slipped table scrap over the weekend.

Pav - glad you were able to get outside and enjoy the beautiful weather over the weekend. Sounds like you're finally feeling better!


Hope everyone is off to a great start to the week (and a new month no less!). Remember, April brings showers, not tickets to boozeville!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Mon everyone.
So I have been fostering 2 dogs for the last 6 days and it is absolutely CRAZY at my house because they are weiner dogs. I have my two and the two fosters and they bark like crazy at my son- he hates it. One is going back today and the other in a few days. I get up early and let them out- like 6:30 am- to make sure they don't pee in the house. Can you imagine doing this when I was drinking? haha...no way.

Crusader, that is cool that you have adopted a dog. Hope the stomach settles down, I am sure it will.

Ken, its tough with your hubby drinking I know. You are doing well though. Hopefully he will figure it out, maybe he just needs time...I don't know.

Pav, glad you are feeling better.

The weather here sucks. We had the coldest winter since 1940, like come on!! Sheesh. We can hardly stand it. We have a week of minus temps for the next week and its April FFS. It usually is above 0 at this time of year.

Keep up the good work everyone and don't drink today.
xo

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Narilly, you should move immediately. That is too cold for man or beast! We finally hit 80 today, it was just gorgeous, we had a tough March, it came in like a lion and roared all month long.
Wags, what an interesting story about your student. I did my share of partying in school but I never missed a class. I never missed work either, but honestly don't know how I did it some mornings, I felt like 10 miles of bad road. Honesltly WHY did we do that to ourselves for so long? I ate a bag of licorice when I was a kid and got sick as a dog....to this day, NO licorice. I can't tell you how many times I got sick from drinking and yet I stll went back. That is the power of addicition.
Crusader, how exciting about Marley! I'm so happy for you, that's quite a reward right there! That shoud help you fill any free time you had! My chihuahua is 11 and still chases a ball like she is a baby. She is very high energy...and high spirited....and cranky. A typical litte dog!
Back to work today...it wasn't as bad as I thought, so that's good. I hope everyone had a great Monday! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Thankfully our promised snowstorm turned out to be a big miss, ha ha. There was barely a coating on the deck this morning & nothing showing on the grass or anywhere else.
Still too chilly for April but what can you do?

Nar,sorry about your cold weather,geez

Crusader, congrats on your new pup, that's awesome. I am almost ready to search for a dog to replace our Swiss mountain dog who passed last summer. I want a grown dog as well, i'm over the puppy foolishness, haha!
Life can sometimes be way too short, we never know what we're going to get so I understand your sense of urgency, I turned 64 in December (don't tell anyone) & I was struck remembering that my mom was only 65 when she passed. So yes, we do need to focus on ourselves &be sure we are living our best lives. After nearly 30 years in nursing I was all out of the ability to care for myself, I had given all of my 'caring' away Keep searching & you will find exactly what you need

Hello to Pav, Wags & everyone. Byrdie, say hi to Rubi for me

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, I am taking you up on the offer. I am packing my bags now!

Lav, that is a scary thought about your mom. I have a feeling you are going to be around a long time though

The lady whose dogs I was taking care of gave me a bottle of rum cream as a thank you. Ugh...I had a .05 second thought of having a sip...but then I just put the bottle away. Funny how people think everyone drinks. I guess I used to think that too.

Have a good sober sleep everyone.
xo

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,

Crusader, I could talk about my dogs ALL.DAY.LONG. Mine are adult rescues as well and they are amazing. Congratulations on your new addition. She's probably a little stressed with a new home and so much activity going on around her. She not sure if she's coming or going yet. Once she settles, she'll never leave your side. Congratulations on taking care of your self and staying strong in your convictions.

Congrats on 30 days Belle!

Roobs

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

I just briefly read back and so much great stuff going on here.. Belle, Congrats on 30 days! And to everyone else on the daily milestones!
We took most of the long weekend off from tech stuff and I'm going to carry on throughout this week.. It really does me good sometimes.. My commitment to not drinking is very strong and I've got other daily practices going. (just mentioning that 'cause I always worry when someone goes missing..) Wishing everyone a good week and see you on Sunday.. xx and hugs!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle, congrats on 31 days now! WOOHOO!!! You go girl. That is a great accomplishment.

Yeah, now I have 3 dogs. Omg... I have to figure out how to make it 2 so I am picking one to give to a good home. A big part of my social life in the summer, when it gets warm, IF it EVER gets warm... is walking my dogs with my friends in the off leash park close to my house. I love doing that especially when I am not working. It is such a nice way to spend the day. I guess its that empty nest syndrome.
Lav, you have your chicks and I have my dogs.

At least we are not hitting the bottle! Life- you are kicking butt

Have a great day.