Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

We took most of the long weekend off from tech stuff and I'm going to carry on throughout this week..

It's great to hear you are feeling so strong, LC, but...

.... it concerns me because this choice has turned out not to be a good one for you in the past. You also wrote that you have some other supports in place but I want to encourage you at this relatively early stage not to quit doing what is working for you. Caring about others in the NN and letting them care about you (in spite of all the "bad" osteroops: stuff we know about one another!!) are important, meaningful connections. There is risk in letting them go.

You can participate once a day in the NN without checking FB, Twitter, or visiting other websites. A "tech diet" doesn't have to be 100% and in fact, you might be missing something you need each day by being so strict. Just my thoughts...

I had one of the worst work days yesterday in a long, long time. By 4 pm, I was mentally and emotionally wiped out. And in a very bad mood. I wasn't tempted to drink but I did think about how in the past, that first glass of wine after a day like this was SO REWARDING. It was nice to realize that I just needed to let time pass and I'd regain my equilibrium. I didn't try to "fix" myself -- just waited to get back to myself. And of course, after awhile I did. It seems so crazy now that I abused alcohol all those years trying (unsuccessfully) to fix something that didn't even need it!

For all people suffering a miserable spring - I feel your pain! And to all the dog-lovers - I share your joy. My Golden is 10.5 but still acts like she's about 3 (which sometimes makes her look pretty silly when a gray-faced dog behaves as she does!). She's fun, though, and I hope I never have a time without a pup in my life.

My job didn't look too bad to me this morning -- but I can imagine what it would have looked like if I'd had to face it with a hangover and all the shame and regret I'd have been feeling. No thanks!

Like Narilly says, Don't drink today. xx, NS

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya Peeps! Lovely day here out west - shining sun and spring on the horizon.

Narily, sorry it's been so cold for you, and LAV, glad the big storm missed you. Sending some spring to the two of you - you've certainly had your share of winter!

Belle - your new hat looks like a keeper indeed - way to go!

NS, my 4 yr old. chocolate acts like 6 months - its mostly endearing though. It's sad when they get old and slow; I appreciate her bounce. Sorry you had a crappy day. I just had a conversation with my son about feeling yucky - to echo what you said. I told him that sometimes we just feel bad or uncomfortable, like in times of transition, or dread to start the school week again, or when sick, or after a hard life event - BUT if we can just accept that it isn't pleasant and just go to sleep or keep putting one foot in front of the other, it turns around. It helps me to no end to know that things will get better - they ALWAYS do. And then it becomes an exercise in enduring & acceptance - not in fearing.

I have my first real day in the office alone for quite some time, and it feels nice to have quiet space. I did the dishes, walked the dog in the sunshine, made some more chicken bone broth (for the soul!), planned the rest of my week, and am going to go ride the bike before sinking into billing for March. It's a good day to be alive

Hope everyone finds something positive about today - it makes all the difference in the world!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nest

back at work after the long easter weekend and a day off. no enthusiasm hitting me as yet. All i seem to be doing is billing and more billing and more billing. Apparently there has been no privately insured patients billed for years and years and years. At least i know i am appreciated.

Belle happy 30 days to you (plus days now). i hope your fur baby is doing a lot better.

The weather is cooling down here so everyone should start smiling again over there!. i need to go through my wardrobe and prepare all of my winter stuff.

NS, no truer word was said, we can say we are strong in our quit and some can wander off here but...... its easier to log in here once or twice a day for ten minutes than not to. LC as strong as we think we are we dont know what is around the corner in life that can hit us square in the face to unsettle our resolve. 9 years lav has been signing on and the list goes on through the years. i am sure i could log off here and never come back but why would i stray away from the site that has gotten me sober, why stop the connections of the people who understand me in the nest, why stop my daily accountability. i am never too busy to log on and read, its still on my list of "to do's". I am relieved i am not lunatic linda like i was initially but i look at where it has gotten me.

My pup stayed at the vets until Sunday and is still not 100%. I have a receptionist from the vets on fb who i chat too. he too has an al problem and was trying to help me on the weekend get some news on poppy as i could not get a vet to call me. he said to me at some stage that he was so angry and frustrated he was having a wine. i told him that nothing is worth having a drink at and what has it actually solved. Yesterday after going to outpatient rehab he was having problems trying to get his dogs housed while he sees about going in as an inpatient and i could read the frustration and then justification of why he needed a drink, i thought to myself that that was me, that was my bullshit thinking and reasoning years ago. He was high from going to rehab but a few hours later was low realising what he was embarking on. I mentioned this site but he said he had been to this rehab before. well didnt work last time so why not try something new but as we know we can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink. I hope i can help but after hours of talking to him on the weekend about plans and tools etc it really is his choice.

Well i had better get back to the grind. I hope your day is better NS, i know you wont drink!

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ola or Hola all!

I dunno what lingo i'm focusing on yet. Spanish chica's, Portugese chica's.......Lucky i still got my guitar bebe.

Have a beaut week everyone.

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon Nesters...day 47.

Thanks to all the comments concerning my new dog. So many of you responded, I'll skip replying to each of you by name. Marley is so sweet. She may be my new therapy dog. After a couple hours the morning she seemed unwell, she was fine, so nothing to worry about. I handled all the things I needed to do for her to date and as mentioned, it will take time for her to trust and know this is her new home. I've taken her for a walk everyday and she LOVES it. That is her thing she loves and car rides seem to make her happy, too. I've never had a dog not fetch things, but that isn't in her fun bag nor playing with any toys. I'm happy she is great with taking walks. She doesn't get crazy with dogs barking, birds, etc. Just minds her own business enjoying her own walk world. She appears to be a very independent dog. We'll be good for each other. She'll get me walking regularly and the exercise will be good for us both. It's nice to see all you dog lovers here and some rescue dog participants. Love it! The story I received was her and another seven year old dog were brought to the shelter. The brother was gone already when I arrived or I would have adopted them together. Apparently, the owners had both dogs from young on and found themselves homeless, so had to surrender the dogs. Marley is chipped, so anyone who does that would appear to be responsible, but that is all I know. We'll figure it out together. She doesn't like water or loud sounds, but time will tell how that works out. I expect her to be jumpy for a bit, but it's not a cowardly jumping you see when dogs have been mistreated.

I saw the doctor this morning. She ordered blood work I have to fast for and get done tomorrow morning and an ultrasound to be done on Friday. We'll start there and see if anything turns up. I've made quite a bit of progress with my diet and home self care, but it still isn't right. I often cancel my appointments, so I'm glad I kept this one. She is on me to get my colonoscopy I have put off for years, so that will come in the near future as I agreed I would depending on what these tests show.

It is beautiful weather here. It has been for a few days. It's over 70 and that has helped my moods, I'm sure. My boyfriend's knee went out today, so not sure how we'll get all this wood cleaned up in the back yard from the cut down trees, but it isn't a priority. I'll work on getting some planting and gardening items ready the rest of this week.

Lav, we get each other. I'm sorry you lost your mom at 65. My mom left me at the end of last summer at 80. I am doing better than I was, but I find I have to keep most of it at bay or I still cry. She meant the world to me, but I need to learn to see life in its full reality and change how I address the uncontrollable experiences it brings with it. As Bryd said when I first came here, the more we love, the more things can bring us pain. It's true. I hesitated a lot about getting a dog at all because I don't want to feel those very painful feelings anymore, but we don't get the benefit of loving something or someone either if we just stop.

NS and Kensho, I like both of your points about life can be unpleasant at times. It isn't all good and we don't always need to 'fix' it. Many things just have to pass in their own time. Maybe many of us never really learned that in our early coping skills. We wanted a way out of those awful feelings instead of gaining experience in reality in how to get through them. Each time we make it through something, it gives us strength to get through the next ones. If we numb out, we don't get the true experience/lesson that provides growth. I could seriously leave the truly painful ones out, but that isn't real life.

There was a lot here to respond to. I read and enjoyed all the posts. I just finished cleaning my car inside and vacuuming up dog hair, so I'm tired and going to relax.

Night all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

Chilly, damp & dark here - definitely not spring-like but at least it's not snowing!!!

Crusader, I'm glad yo kept your doc appointment & have somewhat of a plan. I have an appointment myself tomorrow with my NP. I often wonders if she cringes when she sees me coming (just kidding). We have very decent, honest open talks & she knows that I am not a fan of invasive testing so she doesn't push me.
I hope you continue to feel relief from your diet changes, I know the 'right foods' have been tremendously helpful to me.

LC, don't stay away too long, please. I know we all know what we need to do but a brief daily reminder never hurts!

Kensho, you sound great!

Hello to g, Ava, narilly, NS, Byrdie & everyone!
Nar, I need my chickens, dogs & grandkids nearby to stay happy

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Crusader, so glad you got in at the doctor. If nothing else, peace of mind that you got checked out will make you feel better. I have to get colonoscopies every year, so when the time comes, i can give you a pointer or two It’s not so bad! Just gotta be prepared!

LC, Im with NS, I cant tell you how many people who were stromg in their quits drifted off only t return to drinking. What we are doing takes support, and some days, lots of it. We live in a world that tells us that drinking is not only OK, but is the answer to happy, sad, good and bad. Every other commercial encourages it. Family, coworkers and friends push it on us. THIS (MWO) is the only place we get what WE need, encouragement to go another day AF. I have seen 1000’s of people drift off and fall. Thats why Im here every day. Its a small price to pay for getting my life back. Besides, when I dont check in I lose track and then lose interest and then Ive lost my support system. I get it, I know that some people dont want the constatnt reminders of drinking. But here we are, drinkers all. We gain strength from each other. At over 7 years sober, I am still here. I like reading and hearing how my friends are doing. My absolute role model, Lav is here every day, it works for her, It will work for me. I will not get complacent, thats the beginning of the end. I dont have another quit in me and its 1000 times easier to keep a quit than it is to try and start a new one. Dont take my word, you’ve had enough history here to know how it goes, and how it goes with you. Stay with your support! Thats my plan!
Hope everyone had an easy day. Byrdie

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I'm pretty wiped out this evening. I made a ham/potato/cabbage soup in my Instant Pot and it was more work than I bargained for on a weekday night. But it is delish. I had the ham leftover from Easter but I was not in the mood for the traditional ham and bean soup. I think I overdid the cabbage part......burp.

Piper started panting a lot this evening...I was so concerned, that I was ready to head off to the ER vet but I thought I would take her out for a walk first. After a couple of long pees, and a good walk, she seemed back to her normal self. I hope it was nothing. I really prefer going to bed, rather than doggy ER tonight.

I am understanding more and more the importance of daily reading and posting. At some point I lost track during my last quit and thought I could "go it alone", which worked for a while. I think it is important to have these reminders of what can happen if we let our guard down. Been there, done that. Don't want to do it again. I feel so much better, productive and capable of making good sound decisions, especially when it comes to my kids now that I DON'T DRINK.

So y'all think my hat looks pretty good, ya? I love it and wear it proudly. I sort of felt like I did not deserve another hat after losing my first one. Thanks so much, Byrdie for giving me another.

I think this hat is also a GSR brothers repellant.

...enough of my nonsense...off to bed. Good night/day/whenever to all!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Haven't fully caught up on everyone's recent posts, but did get to skim the good news that lots of us are enjoying time with our pups! I can't imagine life without dogs. I've had brief periods without, usually after one passes away, but for the most part I just enjoy their companionship. Crusader, my previous pup was my therapy dog after my mom died, and this made a huge difference. Walking her was therapeutic, and in her own doggie way she helped me realize that "all we have is now" if that makes sense. I still miss my mom like crazy even after ten years, but the raw edges of the wound have smoothed over and it doesn't bring me to my knees with grief the way it used to.

Ava - hope Poppy gets better and can be back home with you soon.

Nar - how do you decide on which pup to rehome?

LC - some good advice floating around here. I understand the desire for a tech break but I really hope at the very least you'll promise to login here for a spell should temptation hit you out of the blue. We all just want you to stay the course with your quit. :hug:

G-dude - I'll learn a new language with you ok? I'm branching out and starting to learn Italian. It's in preparation for an upcoming trip we just decided to do. Very exciting actually - we're going to Italy with 4 friends and we're going to bike across the country (northern areas - from Venice through Florence to Pisa, and then possibly up or down the west coast a bit). Do you already speak some Spanish or Portuguese? If so, learning the other should be a bit easier since there's some similarity. Or maybe that'll make it more confusing? I speak Spanish and am finding it helpful as I begin Italian, but I can also see my signals potentially getting crossed at times. Ah well, that's part of the fun!


Work has been very busy for me the past few weeks, which in self-employment land is a GOOD thing at least to a certain extent. I just keep practicing gratitude every day - I wouldn't be able to do any of the business-building I'm doing right now if I was still drinking. Honestly, I can kind of see how some people end up homeless. Without a solid job and paycheck, just my own wits to earn a living, I am well aware how drinking takes people down into a pit and then it's hard to climb back out. I have been in that pit emotionally, and on the path to that financially, and I will NEVER go back and risk that again. My life, literally, is at stake. I choose to keep my quit!

Happy almost hump day everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

LC and everyone - funny this should be the topic. I was thinking this morning about posting here because I was reading about rituals and how they are a great form of self care. The ritual of coming here and reading every morning serves the purpose of starting my day a certain way AND staying sober. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, I guess. I was saying to my sister that I don't write in a journal, but essentially I do by posting here every day.

I share custody of two dogs with my retired parents. I get to take them on long walks, and get a lot of love, but they live with them because I am gone so much during the day and don't want dogs to be all alone. It works perfectly for all of us! (plus my parents let them sleep on their bed, which they wouldn't get here because I'm such a light sleeper).

NS - sorry about your day. I think about that sometimes, too. That first drink was so fast and so effective, but the effects were so short. Once over, the same feelings were there - they were just masked for a while. Taking the time to sort through feelings, and to allow ourselves to get through the crap without a substance is a great thing to learn. I was talking with a teenager I know about this, as he uses pot to self medicate after the death of his father. I had to quote my friend G, the only way out is through.

Nar - that doesn't seem fair to live in that weather! I don't know how you stand it. Is there an indoor dog park? What do you do during the winter??

Off to work. For some reason this week is going so slowly - I can't believe it is only Wednesday! Ah, well. It will be fine.

Happy SOBER Wednesday.

Pav

[mywayin]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all

Back from my 2 week road trip in Morocco with my daughter, what an adventure!

Reading back a bit and happy to see that the nest is as busy and bustling as the souk in Marrakesh!

I wish I could have celebrated your 9 years Lav!
I made my first spring bouquet today and I dedicate it to you.

Congrats for your new dog Crusader. I have an Aussie, she’s an amazing dog, sweet, fun and so well behaved. Her mission in life is to please me and I’m guessing that yours, even if it is a mutt it’s going to be a great companion.

Available, it’s so true what you warned me about “al has a funny way of meandering into situations where we think we are safe and secure”.
I didn’t imagine that I would be so tempted in a muslim (non-drinking) country but my daughter drank a couple of glasses of wine with dinners and we were having such a fun time together that every evening before dinner was a challenge. But I kept reminding myself how long it took me to get back on the wagon after that one little slip at our daughter’s wedding.

Belle girl, you know what I mean Glad to see you’re going strong to the nest 30.

Congrats Pav for your 4 + 4 + 4

Steady, that is a crazy story! So scary how it can creep up and then become so overpowering. After how long AF?

Roobs, that’s good… Eat, pray and love but just don’t drink!

G-man, when is your trip? Would love some details so I can travel again vicariously!


Wish I could catch up on all the posts I missed but I’ve got a mountain of catching up to do.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morocco MYWAY? How exotic! Sounds very cool. Glad you kept your commitment to yourself

Biking Italy also sounds fabulous WAGS. I often imagine that as the ultimate test for me... I've always wanted to do that trip, but worried about ending up at vineyard after vineyard... how will you do that?

I'm making it through a crazy schedule week.... 2 dentist and one orthodontist appt., one late school start, one dance lesson, a track meet, cello, a car appt., taxes - and the demands of my clients. Welcome back to reality Kensho! I've double booked myself twice already this week accidentally, but made it all work out in the end. And I'm feeling a little badly about how I handled my savings this year - it all gets thrown in my face at tax time. I am mad at myself. But one night of beating myself up a little, and a dose of gratitude, and I realize that this is an opportunity to do things differently. I am ADD and impulsive, and that can be a bad mix for saving money. I am not owing the tax man anything - but I should have excess and I don't. I'm also feeling not great about how I'm handling everything on my plate. I feel sort of mediocre at it all - and I'm ambitious - I want to be great at what I undertake. But again, I am a loving mom, dedicated to my clients' needs - and try to attend to my own needs too... what more can I do? Just be grateful for the opportunities in my life, I guess.

And above all, I am grateful that I don't drink. It makes it possible for me to objectively self-analyze and be cool with me. It's all going to be ok

Have a good one Nest-friends!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola everyone (G Man),

Well I only have my two doggies now, the two fosters have been re homed. Whew! It was a lot of work and I am glad just to have my two now. I realized that I couldn't keep three and mine were easy to keep. Wags, I really liked them all though. In the winter there are some days where it gets above 0 and then I can take them out and there are a few indoor daschund events that I can take them to. They are inside most of the time in winter though and only go outside to do their 'duty'.

Life, I am with everyone above, Please do not stay away too long. Just a quick post is a good way to keep your AL brain from rearing its head. It will lay in wait and when you least expect it Boom, it grabs you. That is why I come back here as much as I can. Just want to say everyone, thank you for all your support :hug:

Ava, that is interesting about your vet person having a drinking issue. We all know what its like to keep making excuses to drink even though we really want to quit. ugh I am SO glad I don't drink.- Right-Pav, Belle?

Crusader- day 47, oh yeah!!

Don't drink today.
xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
Yes, you are all right! NS sent me an email and I decided she was right.. so I came here and saw that everyone was in the same boat.. of course!:love: I guess (at times) it's difficult to keep up with everyone.. because if I read, I like to respond, to add to the conversation. Lately it's been tight with time and I feel like I'm having to choose between spending the time with my girls or on-line.. but it's true, I'm not just here. So this wouldn't/shouldn't be the place I leave out. I love hearing about how everyone is doing, how problems are being solved, life issues dealt with, new pups, vacation plans, dealing with health issues, family meetings and finding balance, relationship issues, etc... all of these things help me so much.. so I just won't write so much until Sunday.. but I will come and read and like and thank each day. Thank you for the support.. thanks for calling me out. It means so much.. xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola, Ola, Oi, Buenos gidday bella, bonita, linda, guapa.......sheesh, i can't keep up i tells ya!

Welcome back MWin. I cant wait to get to Morrocco, it's on my list. I'm travelling early may for 4 weeks. Chile, argentina, brazil at this point. Looking to do a few gigs, and some street busking and jamming with the locals. Wags, Italy sounds a blast! I'm gonna fet there too. Only passed through last time.

Ava, wow, you look to have a lot on your plate looking after pups and people, not to mention sorting out everything at work for them. Take care of yourself and dont forget to get some 'me' time in somewhere.

Yo LC. I am now a firm believer in having some sort of daily sober program. Whether that means logging in here daily, or for me, daily breathing/meditation and speed yoga. I have seen and shown myself that i need to have a daily program i can handle. Daily action, daily practice seems to be the key. And the Yogi's have said this for the last 5000 years, along with our buddhist mates. Then we have our friends here saying the same thing. Some sort of daily self care. You raawk my friend.

Big waves to y'all. Let's git it.