Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning everyone, Lisa, yes the Bubble Hour helped me a TON! I used to listen to it every morning on my way to work, it literally saved my life. I could really relate to this podcast, they talk about drinking and AL issues in a down to earth fashion.

Crusader, at least you have some sun. I know it sucks to wake up feeling yucky especially when you haven't been drinking.
Get outside and get some vitamin D, that might help.
I woke up to 6 inches of snow (on top of the other snow), frick! Enough with this weather. Last year we were starting to get our yards ready for summer and it is -10 today. I am jealous of all the sun you guys have right now.

Life, Pav, Belle, I worried a lot about my teenagers and now there are in their early 20's and doing great. When my son was 16 he smoked pot for a year or so and I was freaking out because he seemed headed down a path which wasn't good. I took him to counselling and tried to talk to him a lot. I also took him to a Naturopath because he was having trouble sleeping. Just being able to talk to other people- professionals, really helped him. He quit smoking pot because he realized it made him feel bad but he still drank. He still drinks and I think he has a bit of a problem with it. He knows about my issues with AL so hopefully he can deal with his own issue proactively. All I can do is be here to listen. He has been away for a year travelling and working and seems to be doing well but AL still rears its head sometimes I know.

Thanks for the wishes Wags.
Pauly, hope you had a great breakfast.

Don't drink today.
xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Narilly, I am very sorry about that bus crash, so sad. One of the teens on that bus was the son of a former Philadelphia Flyers player, our 'home team'. I pray for all those affected.

Crusader, it's OK to have one of those days now & then, we're just human. I think I'm having one today myself. Tomorrow will be better for both of us :hug:

I'm a little disappointed that my son did not bring my grandson over for his birthday gifts. The kid turned 7 on Friday & he knew I had a gift waiting for him. Yep, I'll get over this too

Still way too chilly for spring but it's not snowing - geez!!!
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[MsDinah]

Re: Newbies Nest

It was a gloomy morning here in North Texas, but the sun finally appeared. I had a VERY lazy day. So nice. I hope everyone has enjoyed another AF weekend. Lisa, how’s it going?

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, its better than yesterday. Looking forward to tomorrow and feeling less woozy. Got up, showered and ate and spent a quiet day with husband. Lot of trust to rebuild. The sun was shining in southern california. How are you Dina? A few weeks seems like a few months right now. Good job.

[mywayin]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Dinah ! Hi Lisa!

Good for you ladies. You will find invaluable support, friends and information here so you’re in a good place.

Almost 2 months AF and last night I went to bed with a smile. Some friends popped by to say hello just before dinner and one stayed. Afterwards I realised that opening a bottle of wine never even crossed my mind

Crusader, about your ick mood, it’s just one of those days. I think it’s Byrdie that says there are never 2 bad days in a row, so tomorrow will be better. Some sunshine (vitamin D) will raise your spirits.

Lav, You must be glad you didn’t need to bring all those chicks back into the house. For some reason mine haven’t laid an egg in 2 days, must be the change of season. Hubby had to go out and buy some today but those store bought eggs just don’t compare

Narilly, that accident is so tragic. All those beautiful young lives ended in a moment. My heart cries for them all.

Ava, you know that there are some plants that actually hate water? There’s a big landscaping movement in CA these past few years, indigenous gardens that need very little water. They can be very beautiful and look natural.

G-man, how dare you call me a scallywag!

Byrdie, I’m envious, retiring in 1 year would be a dream. I’m 62 and never worked so hard in my life.
But then I’m grateful to have the work, well, the $ that is.

Hope y’all get some sunshine and a few more AF days this week.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

MyWayIn, yes, it was I who said that I never had 2 bad days in a row. It was true for me and true for MOST people here. I think it's the struggle of one day and then waking up the next and feeling a great sense of accomplishment. This is ALL a mind game, well, most of it is, after the first physicall dependency part is done. Any little trick or mind game I can use to get to the next day, I'm willing to try!
I've never worked harder either, and for less money! I know I'm not alone, we had dinner Friday night with another couple in the same boat....working for the health insurance. I was thinking today that I quit drinking (and strugliing) with AL at 51. Now I'm 58. I would give anything if I would have stopped in my 40's. The last 7 years are about the only ones I can remember with clarity. I just HATE I wasted so much time.
Do whatever it takes to get this awful substance out of your life. I have but one regret about getting sober and it's that I didn't do it sooner. Don't waste another precious day of your life on this useless substance. It doesn't help you cope, it makes you dependent. It deosn't relax, it makes us anxious. It deosn't make anything better, it makes it 1000 times worse.
7 years and counting and it gets better every day! Hang in, all. One day at a time. Byrdie

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 3 and feeling better. Not sleeping well but outlook is positive and i have a productive day planned that will keep my mind on positives things.

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters...almost hump day in the 50 days to 60. We like our mile markers.

Good for you Lisa. Having sleep issues is normal for us all. AL is a depressant and many people used it to sleep. I found that with the amount I drank, I would wake very anxious in the night. So, it just takes time for your body to adapt.

As far as my 'ick' day. I forced myself out to walk the dog and then wound up outside in the sunshine doing yard work. Now, I'm really tired and sore today. I'd say Bryd's two day thoughts work for those who go with the flow. I'm outside the box as something isn't right with my health, so I won't exactly fit standards here, unfortunately. It can take a lot of tests before something is certain, but like everything in life, it's one step at a time. Hopefully, I will have something more concrete this week.

On the topic of homemade dog food, I've decided it would be too much to add for me right now. With that said, I purchased some chicken breasts and beef and we made some jerky treats for the dog. Nothing added. I used a couple pieces to get her to chase and pick up a tennis ball yesterday. I was delighted that she finally retrieved it. She needs more exercise then I can give her right now, so I want her to retrieve items to get her running with less effort on my part. I'm feeling weak right now from what is going on, so may have that problem solved.

Lav, I see how you went into that mood. I can relate from my past. Great on realizing that it is just a waste of time and energy that takes up space in our minds. We suffer, they don't. There are a lot of controlling types out there. I'm with Skendall. I've had some real bad experiences with those types and narcissistic personalities. I am entering the land of maturity in that regard. Sounds like you know that song and how it works as well.

Everyone have a good Monday.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Byrdie - so true. i do wish I had done this earlier. Would have made life a lot easier. But sometimes I'm a SLOW learner.

Lav - Wonder why your son didn't come by? You would think that at least the promise of a present would get the grandson to make that happen. Ah, well. Enjoy the quiet.

Good work, Lisa and Dinah. Lisa, it took a while for me to feel ok after I quit - my last night drinking was a doozy. The key is to put a plan in place so that when you start to feel better that alcoholic voice doesn't start speaking to you more strongly than the sober voice. Once you start to feel better, you may hear the "I wasn't THAT bad" ideas in your head. Stay strong, you got this.

I am on my way out of town for a couple of days and don't intend to bring my computer, so I probably won't check in. Rest assured I will not be drinking. See you soon,

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

It's a happy spring day here. It began with rain and snow actually - but the sun has since come out and everything is turning green. I'm feeling really tired - but that's what Mondays are for, right?

Lisa, welcome! I just visited the Southern Cali sun a couple weeks ago and it did wonders for me! Tell the waves I miss them, if you are near them. Be sure to focus on yourself right now - you have a lot of time to smooth things out with your husband. I have been through rounds with mine - and it always circles back to the fact that I've made the right decision and we will heal.

Crusader, sorry for your health worries, but I'm glad you got some sun in the garden. My favorite type of medicine! Hang in there, you're doing great.

MsDinah, hello! Hope you had a nice lazy day.

Byrdie, I AM in my forties, and I am more glad than ever that I listened to you all and decided not to waste any more of my time with this waste of a substance. Instead, I wasted much of my thirties. We had a family conversation yesterday morning and my kids still say they want more attention from me - but at least they are not saying they wished I wasn't a drunk.

I had a difficult conversation with a friend last night. She's become increasingly uninterested in hanging out with us (usually 4 of us, two couples). Sat. night she had lots of snarky comments about almost everything we said and did - Ugh, why can't we let our dog run in the mud... why do we have a shock collar, there are much better camping spots than the one we like, our favorite band is OK, etc. I got tired of it and called to tell her that because I've always valued our friendship, I felt it was important to tell her that she was hurting our feelings. And instead of letting it fester, or taking it personally, or just cutting off communication, I felt the most mature thing to do was to tell her. It was uncomfortable and sucked, but I feel much better. Maybe we're just not her cup of tea any more - but in case there was some misunderstanding - at least she knows how we feel.

Not sure how that will pan out over time, but at least the truth is out there on our end. I hate playing games, and want to spend my time with people who build me up, not tear me down. I also suspect she's had a drinking problem for quite some time - so I did ask if there was anything going on with her. I got silence on the other end of the line.

Anyway, back to work today - I really believe that life without alcohol is much, much, MUCH more rewarding and full and right. I am happy I chose to be free.

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 3, checking in again. I love the posts of encouragement first of all. I also suck at names and my mind is kinda mushy so if i refer to something someone said to me and dont mention your name please dont take offense. lol. I keep hearing have a plan, get a plan, make a plan, so i did.

Let husband know how serious i am about getting and staying sober and asked him to call me daily and ask how its going.(this is hard for him but he agreed)

I joined"The Alcohol Experiment" on day 1 after someone mentioned it on mwo. Its a daily hands on(jouranling and answering some very tough questions) and video program with a blog that challenges people to go 30 days AF to see how life is going AF. They give alot of scientific proof how detrimental to your health drinking really is and ways to fight urges etc. Im very analytical so this works with me.Its also abstinence based as that is my goal for sure.

Focus on moments when my mind tells me a drink would be good. Ask myself if this is true, hell no, and refocus on other things. This is the hardest part. I never give a second thought to what my feelings are telling me.

Do at least one healthy activity a day. Went to gym and sat in sauna for 15 minutes and thought i was going to pass out but im glad i did it now. Phew.

Try to be kind to myself and not beat myself up too bad.
Thats all folks. Have a good day. Its a beautiful one here.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

You know, I've never heard anyone say they had any regrets about quitting other than not having done it sooner. It seems so much more difficult and scary than it actually is (and I'm not saying it isn't tough -- it's just not the big, huge, impossible change we think it will be).

But that just an illusion -- our poor addicted brains have become convinced that we have to drink to live. Alcohol takes over the parts of our brains that are evolutionarily wired to like to eat, have sex, seek the protection of a community, and generally keep the species alive. But because alcohol is such a powerful stimulus, it doesn't take long before all the "natural" things that give us pleasure no longer have a strong enough signal to cause good feelings. I let so many relationships, interests, and activities that I had enjoyed greatly over the years just fall away - the thrill was gone because it no longer was big enough to overcome the tolerance I'd developed to not only alcohol but all sources of pleasure. The only thing I really and truly desired was to drink and by the end, there was no pleasure in that, either. And a life with no pleasure is pretty unbearable - I guess that was the low point that finally led me to quit. I couldn't live that way any longer and even though I didn't feel like I cared much one way or the other, I didn't want to actually die.

I'm sorry about your friend, [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION]. If she does have an unadmitted drinking problem, she is probably very threatened by you. The easy way to make herself feel better is to try to tear you down. I don't think I was mean to nondrinkers, but I sure was envious of them as I felt so awful about myself. It sounds like this woman is being pretty persistent and aggressive about it. Maybe you'll need a break from one another until/if she ever decides to quit drinking or quits comparing herself to you (and finding herself inadequate). I can feel her pain - you have what I bet deep down she wants more than anything.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

I agree with NS, I have never heard anyone say they regretted quitting AL. I am so glad I did. It is really scary at first I agree but then after awhile it gets way easier and becomes a relief not to worry about drinking.

I spent so much time trying to figure out how to moderate and I would always fail. I tried over and over...ugh. Now I don't have to worry about it because I just don't drink.

Ken. it does sound like you need a break from your friend. Don't let her bring you down!

Don't drink today.
xo

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Safe travels Pav Kensho,I'm in my 40's too and DO NIT want to waste them like I did my 30's,for some odd reason I didn't start drinking and smoking until I hit around 32 then was drunk everyday/ALL day! I missed so many precious times with my kids growing up,makes me disgusted with myself but we get along great now and I have the 2 g-sons too that I want to have the best memories built with,everyone sounds really good,let's keep it up

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Well im awake and thats about it. My fur baby is back to her bouncy ten year old self and had a check up with some acupuncture thrown in last night. i will be glad to see the back of the vets for awhile i must say and i have two weeks before she has another ultrasound. i didnt realise how sick she was until i see her now and how happy she looks and is.

NS i wish i had stopped drinking sooner but i used to think it was fun to get blind drunk, fall into walls and bruise myself for the joy of it and not remember a thing i did in those few hours of so called fun. Since my son has a tendency to overdo drinking so i have banned alcohol while i am in the house. i have had a lot of resistence and a lot of threats of him moving out on my part but it seems to be now working. I go to the SO's on the weekends so what he does on those days is his choice. I really cannot stand alcohol anymore and i am so glad the SO only drinks on rare occasions.

Kensho, good on you for talking to your friend but as the others say she is probably feeling threatened that you dont drink. Our list of friends seems to narrow when we become non drinkers sadly but thats life and i know i am busy enough that i dont need to search out more company.

Lisa your comment of "I never give a second thought to what my feelings are telling me" was what i used to drown out by drinking. I had no need to delve into my feelings if i drank, i blotted them out. its only now i have stopped drinking that i have been able to forgive and move on from my past. Drinking made me angry and sad.

Well i had better go and do some work. The SO's aunt is back in hospital so i will go and buy her a coffee. The drs told me yesterday that she has a month or two at most to live. The SO just wants to keep her alive so i had a talk to him last night about this and of course he shut down, which i get but its life and the reality of the situation. Being an adult sucks sometimes.

Take care. x