Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good sunday morning from over here nesters.

Just from reading here, i am being catapulted, i say launched into a totally different sphere of self respect. Right on!

I felt a little down yesterday, a little blue. Just a little sad and sorry for myself lol. Reason was a bit overwhelmed with lots of work recently, the stresses/negotiating my bands album pressing and cover printing, visa admin silly delay's. I missed my mums birthday lunch as i was feeling a bit fluey and fragile as in emotionally, so that's a red flag for me re boozing. Anyway, all good this morning. I'm working today but i feel much better emotionally, physically and positive mentally. I rang mum and visited her day before to wish her happy birthday etc, so i didn't totally disappear like i would've in the drinking days. Just taking care of me i think. I could've gone to the lunch but.....i dunno. the day spent doing nothing was appreciated! Interesting thing was i felt like drinking - as in it crossed my mind, but i didn't even go there emotionally. It was just a concept and not an impulse, craving, strong urge. So i quickly and easily decided it wasn't an option, and i had no regrets or indecision with that. Nice result eh?

LC, you are raawkin it. Living sober is just tops. It simply is. I'm seeing that we really have to take a leap of faith sometimes and stick it out to let our mind and bodies do the healing and forge new healthier daily routines and thinking. Oh yeah!

Bonjour My way in.

Byrdy, i hope you are relaxing and having a blast doing what you love this weekend.

There'll be no fermenting of sausages or anything else here for awhile. Not until my return from Brazil at least.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

G, can really relate to your post. Im in the same frame of mind....overwhelmed. I just took five minutes and stepped outside to hear the birds singing. I took stock of my wonderdul life and reasonably good health. I told myself that I was doing ok...and that helped.
Thank you for your post, G, it was the right thing at the right time. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[MsDinah]

Re: Newbies Nest

I hope all you nesters are having a good Sat. This morning we did some long overdue gardening. Then I had to run over to my tenant’s condo because she had locked herself out. Came home and started cleaning house because we’re having two couples over for dinner tonight. That’s about the only time my house gets really cleaned, is when we have company! Everyone will be drinking wine....but not me.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Lisa a huge congrats on 7 days, i was as proud as punch when i did 7 days, never had i done 7 days in over 8 years. Be proud every day you are sober.

LC i think gratitude is something we 100% need to stay sober, nothing in this life is worth drinking at and each day i am grateful i wake up sober the rest is a bonus.

G, i have had a few weeks of stress and after work on Friday and taking my son to the drs i have had some quality me time, ive knitted and knitted and thats about it. I was going to go to the SO's yesterday and packed and started driving and there was an accident on the freeway so i turned around and came home and had a 2 hour nap and knitted some more. Today i feel great so i will put a bra on and drive off shortly :-) Ive already messaged him and requested eggs and bacon for breakfast. This weekend is all about ME.

Well i had better get myself together and make a nice hot coffee for the drive and start before it rains again.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I spent exactly ONE hour outside this week pulling weeds & guess what I have now? Poison ivy on my forearms, slowing creeping it's way up to my elbows. I don't want to spend my entire life in the house avoiding these things but geez
I'm not feeling sorry for myself because I knew it was a stupid thing to do but I did it anyway. Feeling dumb.. ha ha!!!

Great to see everyone checking in on this beautiful Saturday! Tomorrow & Monday it's going back to cold & rain, oh well.

LC, I think the problem with me & fermenting veggies is I just can't get past what I learned about molds & things in microbiology class. Our grandmothers didn't have any of that knowledge, they didn't have the fears, lucky them. I used to make my own yogurt though back when dairy was still part of my life, I still have the electric yogurt maker stored away.
Gratitude has replaced a ton of unproductive behaviors in my life too

Wishing everyone a comfy & safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I'm back - tired, rested, and glad to be home. Not a thought of alcohol, and for a couple of days was staying with a couple who don't drink. One is one of us, and the other is having some health issues. It was refreshing!

G and Byrdie - sorry you were both down/overwhelmed. I have really come to appreciate boundaries - you'll see your mom another day, G. Saying no when I need to has been SO freeing!

Byrdie - when I was in the 300 email range and already working 11 hour days (plus weekends) I told my bosses that I needed some help. Because they know I work hard and don't mess around, they provided it! One suggested I hire someone for extra hours, and another took one whole "to do" off my list. It was a big relief. Can you do that Byrdie? Or are the A$$ES running the show?

Can't remember who was talking about "forever," but I'll add my two cents. When I quit, I was obsessed with a trip I was taking with friends that was still EIGHT MONTHS AWAY! I couldn't imagine going through that trip without drinking. I got the advice to not dwell on the future, but to focus on "now." But I also had to tell myself that I don't drink, period, in order to make sure I came up with alternatives to dealing with stress, anxiety, celebrations, etc. So it was a paradox. I had to tell myself forever, but I had to focus on the "now." (PS - Worked perfectly - the trip was amazing and I didn't even want booze by then).

Off to eat with the family. Congratulations on your week, Lisa!

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, you make an extremely good point. Im going to share my workload with my boss and see if he can get me some cooperation with the others who COULD assist, but havent been. THANK YOU for this suggestion! I feel empowered by this idea. I may not get any help, but at last he’ll know Im drowning. Byrdie

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters.

G, I had a good first part of the day yesterday. We went out to explore nature with Marley. In the afternoon, some personal pain was triggered through exposures to things that are still painful. I'm glad you woke to a better day. I have lots of work to do in these painful areas, but I did try to remember that I will have good and bad moments. My goal is to change the way I think, but all habits that we have developed over long periods take time to change. I will be spending some time on another site and ordering a book to help me change my thoughts, heal and move on. It's going to become a bigger priority. I solute your self care. Boundaries and self care are so important for us.





Byrd, good for you! I hope you have a boss that cares. Sometimes we don't say anything, so others don't know. Other times, they know and don't care. They'd rather let you take all the heat and use you. It's all in the personality type for those people.



Have a good day or night.

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[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening friends,

I guess we're back to winter weather now for the time being, geez. Is it really too much to ask for spring in the middle of April?

Pav, glad to hear your trip was a good one

Byrdie, spread that work around, don't hog it all, ha ha! It's amazing that people will stand around doing nothing while one poor soul works herself half to death. Sounds like some of my former workplaces.

Crusader, working on changing our thinking really is a big deal! I wouldn't be here now with 9+ years AF if I had continued to hang on to my old style of thinking & seeing things.
I realize now that 'letting go' of something that wasn't working for me was easy & virtually painless. The fear of adopting a brand new, unknown style of thinking kept me stuck for way too long. You are one smart lady, I know you will figure it out :hug:

G, how's things going for you today?

Hello to the entire group & wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening everyone, day 9 and all is well. Been having some nice alone time with husband(minus teens) and its been so good for us. Even if its costco we are at. lol. Good day all around and enjoying bowl of ice cream. Glad all is well. Welcome back pav.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

good Un-hung Monday morning, Nesters..

Man, does it feel like a Monday! My legs feel like they're full of cement.. even after a cup of coffee. :happy2: Oh, well. I'm sure I'll somehow manage to make it through.
Yesterday I went to the Botanical Garden with a friend and her dog and we picked tons of wild garlic which I'll make into a pesto today.. there were so many people out foraging for it.. sometimes it gets me a bit down to be living in such a big city, so removed from nature. BUT, as far as big cities go, this one has to be one of the best. I've got another busy week which I'll manage one day at a time.. first today, then I'll tackle tomorrow.. and in the back of my mind I know that I have a quiet weekend planned.
Pav, that was great advice to Byrdie (I hope they listen to you and take you seriously, Byrd).. it's so important for us to ask for help when we need it. I know I'm also guilty of waiting too long, not even realising that I can at least ask for help.. usually it's someone from the outside that notices and suggests it. Good call. How nice to stay with another couple that doesn't drink.. glad you had a nice time.
Crusader, that sounds like an excellent plan!
I've just begun reading, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.. I like to read a bit each evening before I go to bed. It brings me down, helps me to regain perspective if I've lost it during the day.. For me, letting go of my ego, being fully present in my life as it's happening today, being positive in my mind, with my thoughts.. some days it comes quite easily and some days I feel completely scattered.. which seems to be normal, but which really used to throw me into self doubt and despair.. "oh, God, I'll never get this".. with daily practice it is getting better. I can't quite believe it, because my usual way was of trying in times of accute discomfort to make it all go away (often with alcohol).. and now, mostly, I can just accept it and in doing that, the discomfort goes away on it's own. This is very new to me and I hope it's here to stay.. I'm becoming a believer..:love:
The Oh, I'll never get this reminded me of a Sesame street episode I love.. (Pav, I forgot to thank you for the SNL one last week)..
Kermit helps Don Music get through a hard time by making some changes..he finally gets it! Sesame Street: Mary Had a Little Lamb - YouTube silly, I know.

Wishing everyone a nice day.. Spring rains here.. xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning/evening everyone! I've missed posting the last few days and haven't been as regular for the past few weeks, all due to work. I'm getting flooded with requests from potential clients/students, and it's taking everything I have to make good decisions and decline some of them. My work load is at least somewhat seasonal/cyclical and I tend to have very busy times or fairly slow times. I have to make money while I can, but it's far too easy to overload my schedule and then feel crushed under the weight of it.

So this is my focus right now - working on balance, and strategizing for how to generate a bit more work (perhaps a different type of work) during typically slow periods so that I don't feel financial pressure to overload during busy seasons. It's a good problem to have, at least right now, and it gives me something to work on in terms of personal growth. Setting boundaries is not my strongest skill set.

Lisa - congrats on 7 days, and glad to hear you're feeling so clearheaded! Onward friend!

G - hope you chase the blues away fairly quickly, although there is also tremendous value in learning to just "be" during those times, to be comfortable being uncomfortable as it were. Not my strength, and I think not something we learn in many modern cultures. I'm sure your morning routine and self-care processes will help you either way.


Waves and hellos to everyone stopping by the nest today. I'll catch you all again tonight or tomorrow!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, and Happy Monday--

Glad to be facing it without a hangover or regret.

Stay strong,
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Pav,glad you're back and had a nice time Lisa,congrats on day 9 Mr.G hope the blues pass,I get very uncomfortable with that feeling! Plus anxiety,being tired,hungry,sick,etc I guess I need to just learn to BE and accept whatever discomfort comes my way,,better that then having the shakes,sweats,brain fog from drinking! Wishing us all a fab AF day!

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters.

Everyone sounds good. It was a busy day of outside work and using the winter lazy muscles...with this kind of work, I won't be needing a gym. I'm more of a home workout gal anyway. Although I am sore, it certainly feels good to be getting out and exercising my muscles. I think it is helping with my sluggish digestion a bit. We didn't get rain until late last night, so that was great to get outdoor things done.

Lav, yes, I'll get it by putting attention toward developing awareness and practice. We can't just read something once or twice or become aware of an issue we have and expect it to change without work. There are several deeper issues I have no control over, so changing the thinking into acceptance is important. I'll have to walk through some unpleasant emotions to get to the other side, but no other way to moving on and peace. The 'God grant me' is one part of AA I find valuable.

LC, thanks for the book selection. My Amazon cart just tipped over. lol I have not come to the gratitude phase yet. Time and work to be done.

As I was reading the posts about feeling uncomfortable, I think one helpful tip is to ask ourselves can I do something to solve this feeling or is it something I have to accept for the moment. We either work on accepting things we can't change or work on ways to solve things we can change. Either way, we have 'action' involved instead of feeling victimized or negative about our situation. Wags, I bet for most of us it isn't our strong suit without working on becoming better at it. I know emotions come from thoughts, and we can think ourselves into a more positive place once we learn and practice getting a grip on those thoughts. Some of mine have been there a long long time, so it will take time to change them.

Everyone work to have a positive day.