Newbies Nest

[MsDinah]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, nesters. And happy Monday to you. I hope everyone is well.

Crusader, I like the paragraph in your post about asking ourselves whether we should solve a feeling, or accept it. Sometimes it’s not so easy to determine which is the better choice, but as you say, action is involved either way. Since drinking, my anxiety level has plummeted, but I still have times when I feel nervous or out of sorts, and I’m not even sure why. So I have to ask myself if I want to examine my thoughts and try to figure out the why of it, or just relax and accept the anxiety until it fades on its own. Usually I do the latter if the negative feelings are mild, which they they are for the most part since I got sober. But sometimes I need to dig deeper.

Speaking of getting sober, today is my 30th day! I think I’ll sit down and make a list of the ways my life has improved in those 30 days.

Ciao!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations on 30 days, MsDinah!! I would love to read a list of the ways your life has improved.. I hope you find a nice way to celebrate.:happy2:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Dinah, congratulations on tjose 30 days! On behalf of the whole nest, here’s your hat! :guy: we are very proud of you! We love a speech, so feel free to share what workd and what didnt! Keep it going!

You know, for years and years by this time in the evening, Id be drunk by now. Id be trying to act sober so my husband wouldnt notice, topping off whenever he’d leave the room. After a hard day, Id justify why I deserved a drink or 12. What a different person I am now. I am so happy I did whatever it took to break free of this awful substance. It wasnt always easy, but it has always been worth it.

Hope everyone has a peaceful evening. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends.

Ok here thanks Lav. :happy2: I don't have much patience for adminstrative idiocy! One admin idiotic situ is over, a second is still ongoing which is a visa photo. I thought a passport pic would be ok, but no, they want more shoulders! Should i wear a little off the shoulder number too?!! Breathe G man breathe!

Congrats on 30 days Ms D! Wowza!

Thanks for your thoughts Crusader. How we manage our thoughts and feelings is such a real basic essential i reckon. It is the doorway to inner peace. Giving away booze is the first step.

LC, picking garlic.......love it!

Big waves to everyone.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Happy Monday to all!
The rain has stopped, thank goodness. We had a few hours with no power overnight due to high winds knocking down trees & power lines near by. It's always something.

G, I think I should embroider a nice off the shoulder outfit for you for your visa pic What's your fav color?? Ha ha!!
Deep breaths will get you thru all this BS then you'll be off on your great adventure

Dinah, CONGRATS on your 30 AF days :welldone:
That's a solid base for you to keep building on, yay!

Wags, balancing work, family & all the rest is not easy. Neglecting myself had a big part in my fall from grace many years ago, I know better now. We really do have to look out for ourselves FIRST. Learning the lesson the hard way is what we seem to do.

Hello to Brydie, LC, Crusader, Pav & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all of us!

Lav

[MsDinah]

Re: Newbies Nest

Woo hoo, I got my hat! I love it. Fits perfectly. I made my gratitude list. Since I’m 30 days sober, I thought I’d make a list of 30 things I’m grateful for. Here goes.

I am grateful for no more:

1. Headaches and hangovers
2. Sneaking off to the liquor store
3. Trying to come up with good places to hide bottles
4. Sneaking vodka into my glass of Coke
5. Red wine stains
6. Wondering if I could brush my teeth without throwing up
7. Throwing up
8. Shaky handwriting that looks like that of a 90-year-old.
9. Trying to pretend to be sober
10. Wondering if I smell like vodka
11. Getting out of bed at 3:00 a.m. and drinking while I watch TV
12. Lying awake all night in a noisy jail cell
13. Having to blow into a device before I can start my car
14. Attorney’s fees
15. Reporting to a probation officer
16. Choosing to eat only at restaurants that serve alcohol
17. Sitting on the couch all day long sipping my vodka and Coke
18. Causing my SO to worry about me
19. Being told, “You’re slurring your words.”
20. Rampant depression and anxiety
21. Gathering up empties and dropping them in the liquor store dumpster
22. Spending loads of money on booze
23. Elevated liver enzymes
24. Blackouts
25. Embarrassment and humiliation
26. Wondering if people can tell I’m drunk
27. Being lazy and unenthusiastic about life
28. Feeling worried about myself because of my drinking
29. Wondering if I would be able to quit
30. Fear at the thought of quitting and living an authentic, alcohol-free life

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

That's an excellent list MsDinah,congratulations on your 30 days!!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Dinah happy 30 days and what a great post. Even today i am still eternally grateful for waking up sober every day. Your list will get longer and longer as time goes on. i think now my list of gratitude would fill a book.

G if you would like i could knit you a lovely lace shawl to drape over your shoulders, any particular colour?

I so need to get my passport so i can go on holidays. Just more crap paperwork to do which i just need to do really.

Byrd i hope you asked for and received the help you deserve. I too remember the days of deserving to have a drink or 12. Now i deserve a good cuppa and a lay down.

Life has settled down for me, fur babies are doing really well, the SO is behaving and work is driving me balmy but doable. I have to be happy with that.

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

MsDinah, thank you so much for that list of Good Ridances! I wonder if you would tuck that in to the Tool Box for us? (copy and paste). I bet every single one of us can identify with many of those, I know I can. To this day, sometimes I stand away from people so they can't smell the AL on my breath....old habits die hard! I remember seeing a vodka advertisement that said, "The Kiss that never tells", meaning that you couldn't smell vodka. This is just another PLOY from the Booze Peddlers, you can smell it, ALL of it. even vodka. I can't believe I fell for all of that hooey....it didn't make me more appealing, sexy, popular or smart....there at the end, I was a middle aged woman sneaking gulps from a hidden bottle in her closet....advertise THAT!
G, don't let the crap get you down....once you are sporting your shawl from Ava and your embroidered off the shoulder gown by Lav, you will be the talk of the town!
I've made a list of points for my discussion with my manager today at 4. Fingers crossed! Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check in before I head off for a busy day.

:congrats: Dinah on your 30 days (now 31) AND your fantastic hat! What a great gratitude list. As others have said, the list will only grow from here on out. What might be a fun side of things is that you'll eventually reach a point where some of these fade into the distance of your memory - if you go back and revisit this list at 6 months or a year or whatever, you might find yourself saying, "OMG - I forgot that used to be so new when I started drinking and now here it is a part of my everyday life!" I always find that fun, and it's a good way to jumpstart your gratitude when you reach plateaus or doldrums that tend to happen at various times.

Onward now to 40, 50, 60... all one day at a time of course!

Happy Tuesday days and eves to all! It's Tooze-day, not booze-day

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

MsD - CONGRATULATIONS! 30 and onward. I do love that list. I would bend, contort and shape my plans around a restaurant that had a full bar. Now I don't even think about it any more. Keep 'em coming.

What you and Crusader say about anxiety and being - LOVE IT! I think that is an advanced way of being, and actually has parallels to drinking. I spent a lot of time at first trying to figure out WHY I was vulnerable to alcohol - anxiety, genetics, my family, etc... - when really it was much better for me to just accept and then move forward. Obviously, if I am arranging my life so that I keep drinking, I'd have to get more to the root of why. But sometimes it is better to just accept and let the moment pass. I REALLY appreciate the idea of doing that with anxiety and moods. I don't think I'm making sense here in the morning, but I appreciate your thoughts.

I have a goal of more exercise, but I can't seem to figure it out. I've been doing more in my house, and weekends are easy. Last night I got my husband to walk around the neighborhood with me. It was "exercise" at least, and felt good to get some fresh air rather than just heading straight to vegging out on the couch. A work in progress.

Hope you get your stuff figured out soon, G!

Happy Tuesday,
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh Byrdie... if only they would make advertisements of all our worst moments. I can only imagine how ugly that would be.

Great list Dinah! Than you for that. It's all ugly, but I think I hated the lying most. Acting like I hadn't drunk as much, sneaking to get more and sprinting downstairs when the husband left the room so I would be back up in time with a "nothing happened" look on my face - YUCK! Happy, happy 30 days! Keep going!

Up till 2am last night getting deadlines out the door. I thought about wine on more than one occasion. But I knew it was because of stress. I told myself - for the first time ever - that if I got the work done, I could take a nap today. And that is what I intend to do.

Hi G, Lav, LC, Ava, Pav, NS, Narily, Pauly, Byrd, Crusader, Lisa, Wags... and everyone else - I know I forgot some names. Hope you all have a good day!

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all, when i sit back and try to relax today i realize how little if any of that i did when i was constantly drinking. Ive been making the effort of just being and that feeling of needing to get up and do something, anything sneaks in. Anxiety! Last night was a tough evening. I was ill at ease and the computers were both giving me grief and i felt ready to get a drink. I took a deep breath and went into the living room where my husband was watching the playoffs. Sigh, sigh as i slumped onto the sofa. He asked what was wrong and i told him im feeling very antsy. This is huge for me as i never share my feelings with him pre-drink and probably couldnt if i wanted to. He took the time to pause him game and just talk with me. Thats all i really needed, nothing more and it passed. The work ive been doing with identifying how im feeling and walking thru it has definitely given me that window of time to let it pass. I need to feel it and let it go. This is the slippery slope time for me (day 11) but my desire not drink is stronger than it is to drink so heres to another AF day. Thats for your posts everyone. i not good at posting but i truly appreciate reading your thoughts and experiences and opinions.

[Londoner]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just checking in. I am drinking on weekends socially. Learning not to beat myself up at the moment.

Once i stopped taking Antabuse my intake actually went up.

I'm currently running a little experiment whereby I log every drink I have on an app that shows my BAC through the night. It's been interesting; my body mass means that my estimated BAC shoots up in comparison to heavier friends. And above a certain point is when the Jekyl & Hyde effect occurs.

So I'm not trying to break the habit right now, but trying to go through some self discovery.

[Crusader]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon Nesters.

Just a quick drop in. Busy few days and not much sleep last night, so going to relax. I'm so tired, I'm quiet.

Congrats on the 30 days, MsD.

Byrd, good luck with the boss. Look forward to hearing about your results.

Have a good night or day, all.