Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nestlings,

Busy week, but just stopped to buzz in for a minute. Except for the funks, here and there (including myself), it looks like everyone is doing pretty OK in NestLand. Looks like a couple of you have work stress, but we can be so much more successful setting boundaries with a clear AF head. I've been overloaded at work, so I decided to let the new girl help me out. I tend to feel the "if you want it done right, do it yourself", but I was realizing that the workload was causing too much stress, and it is probably good to teach someone to be a backup for me. She did great and now I have gotten ahead of the game.

This evening son and I have to chat about college decision. He has been accepted at 3 colleges, one is kind of out of the question due to the price. One of the two remaining is a private college, but they offered him a few scholarships which brought the price into the range of an in-state tuition. The other choice is a state school, price is right and it is a great school also. It is a tough decision because they are both great options, but much different in many aspects. He wants to study fashion design and is off to a great start with a portfolio of costumes he has made for various movie projects. His grades were never stellar, but I believe it is his portfolio that has given him these offers. I am getting stressed out about it...however as one of my co-workers said today "It ain't worth the Whiskey". If there are any words of wisdom out there about college decisions...please share.

better get dinner on the stove...Hi to all, and keep up the great AF work.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, love your thoughts on the birds chirping. Good question! That woman you spoke of had a very smart husband to address her cravings like that. I just spoke to my son about sneaking candy and chocolate, and I told him the same thing - it’s not the chocolate you are needing. What really is going on when you crave it? Also, I know what you mean about play-shooting people. It just seems wrong to me - but I’m a softie. I would have said the exact same thing to those kids!

G, hope you enjoyed your dip in the bay!

Wagmore, congrats on making your decision to move on. It takes level headedness to make solid decisions like that.

Lisa, cool that your daughter is an artist. I’m happy that you can enjoy those moments sober. I am also glad that I will approach my kids’ teenage years sober - it sounds like a necessity the more I hear from you all here! Oh, and I have to google “rangoons” now. You have me curious!

Hi Tribal Rose! Nice to see you.

HI Belle! Cool that your son is interested in costume design. I don’t have words of wisdom, but do keep us up to date - what a cool time in his life!

SO. I visited two doctors today - a general PC for the heart palpitations. Wearing a monitor for three days so she can confirm her suspicion that it’s not serious. Then I saw a functional medicine Dr - and loved him. He looked through my recent blood work and brought attention to a raised liver number. I told him I used to drink heavily - and he felt the raised number was likely damage from that. I thought it rebounded quickly, but maybe not. Either way, I always wondered if my drinking caused lasting damage to my body - this may be the evidence. Anyway, I really liked him and hope I can get a lot of questions answered over the next couple months.

Have a great rest of your day Everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters.

The dip in the bay was spectacular in it's icy reality Kensho! Not too cold really, but we are approaching winter slowly but surely here. All the best with your health tests.

Great post and shared perspective Wags, and sounds like a great result. You're raaaawkin'!

LC, i agree totally with your response to those kids running around with real looking fake guns. These days, they could be shot dead by authorities if in the wrong place at the wrong time, or if a police officer perceives a threat as in gun pointing in their direction or at others. Things have changed in the western world now, certainly in america, and those repercussions reverberate around the world. Good call i thought. Keep taking care of yourself. :happy2:

Good luck with the chats to your teens Belle and Lisa. You are good people and parents, so things will work out. The only thing in the way of healthy relationships and healthy, balanced, calm communication is...................BOOZE! When we ditch the poison, wow, our blinkers are removed, prison gates are opened. Freedom is there for the taking if we want it. I want mine and i'm taking it. Along with all the jewels, gems, ruby's and buried treasure i'm unearthing every minute of every day.

Big waves to all.

Go git it pilgrims.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I just spent a whirlwind 4 hours with my 7 & 9 year old grandsons......now I'm waiting for my head to stop spinning, haha!!!
Picked them up from their school bus stop, brought them home, made dinner, supervised homework, planted flower seeds in cups so they could take them home - good stuff

Rose, good to see you again!

Dealing with teenagers is rough but you will get through it, I promise.
Teenage boys, in my opinion just pull away because they want to prove they don't need your help - until they do
Choosing colleges was a fun experience too. I told my kids that I would pay tuition for them to any in state school they could get into PROVIDED they stay out of trouble (no arrests, no pregnancies, no drugs, etc). They had to agree to work part time, especially during the summers to buy books & personal supplies, help pay for car insurance & that kind of thing. My daughter chose a school way across the state & transferred closer to home after the first year (living away wasn't that much fun after all). She lived at home & commuted & my son did the same & they both graduated happy & without student loans. It was important to set the rules out in the beginning & it all worked out

Kensho, glad you got to see your docs & I hope everything works out OK for you. The liver can & will regenerate itself provided we don't drink.

LC, I never allowed my kids to play with toy guns & my grandkids don't either. My husband was a police officer for 30 years & they knew his was for work only. It's not fun or funny to shoot someone With everything going on in the US & all of the illegal guns on the street there's just no way it's OK to pretend to shoot someone.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,
quick fly by on my way to work.. I'm feeling a bit stressed this morning and have the afternoon free.. which used to be my favourite time to drink and a time that would catch me off guard. So my plan is to come straight home, get dressed in my gym clothes and go to the gym, then come straight home again. My fridge is full of healthy food so there's NO reason for me to go to the store. Actually I'll leave my wallet at home. The last thing in the world I want is to drink!!
Hope everyone has a nice day..xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - Congrats to your son on getting into the three schools! Not sure how much wisdom I've got to offer, but I do actually guide people through applications and choices around law, business and medical school so I work in a somewhat similar arena (granted that undergrad choices are often different than grad or professional programs, so this all comes with a shaker of salt )

My first thought was, "has he visited both of the top two choices?" Oftentimes that can be the added info that seals the deal one way or another. Getting a "feel" for each place, meeting some faculty in his chosen field, experiencing the student vibe, etc. Beyond in-person visits, having your son email a few faculty members or folks in the admin office of the department he plans to major in will probably add fruitful info to the mix. You can both consider factors such as whether he even receives responses, how personable they are, etc. In other words, does your son see opportunities to build relationships that will contribute to his schooling and his movement toward career. If visits aren't possible, there are forums online where you both can chat with current students, alumni, etc. You want the real scoop on life at each school, not just the marketing materials craftily developed by the admissions offices

One great site to check out a little bit more about faculty is ratemyprofessors dot com.

If you've already covered that base, my next thought is around career-oriented experiences and connections. Design of any kind can be a very competitive field, and things like internship opportunities, faculty connections to others in the industry, etc can all go a long way.

My last thought is a strategy I often use when I'm trying to make a big decision. I basically pick one of the choices and start talking (maybe just with you in your son's case) as if it's all set and that's what I'm gonna do. I check how that feels, whether my brain settles down and lets the decision rest. If yes to both, then I trust that I'm making the right decision. If my brain keeps spinning, or if I keep wanting to talk about the other option, I assume there's something a bit "off" for the moment. In this latter case, I then switch my "decision" and act as if I've chosen the other option. Usually I find that one is more settled feeling than the other. If neither brings that type of result, then I know I need further information of some sort.

Hopefully some others will chime in with other suggestions or input. The good news is - this is a great problem to have and it sounds like there are two good options! Please keep us posted, and congrats again to your son (and to you!)

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - sounds like a good plan for the day. Great job looking ahead and seeing the potential trigger and then choosing behaviors that steer you around it. Stick by the nest today! As for the toy gun incident, that would have really bothered me and I personally do not think you were over-reacting. I can't recall whether you're in the U.S. or not, but this is on the edges of a very difficult topic here right now. Children and adults have been shot and killed in situations where they had fake or toy guns (or worse, other items that someone mistook for a gun). Like with many things, teenagers often feel invincible in a "that'll never happen to me" kind of way, but sadly, it can and does happen pretty much every day here. There are much larger issues that could be discussed around this topic, but first and foremost, teens need to know that guns (real or otherwise) are NOT toys and that even pretending to brandish one can and does lead to very sad outcomes.

Kensho - glad you were able to get in to see the 2 Drs, and I hope you do get some results and answers that lead you toward greater health. Your liver is likely still doing some repair work, and as your dr will probably suggest, there are supplements that can support it and your whole system during that repair process.


Waves and hellos to Pav, Lav, Ava, G, Lisa, NS, and everyone else stopping by the nest today. Hope you all have or had great hump days!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Tribal Rose has 8 DAYS!!!

Screenshot 2018-04-25 08.14.20.png

Way to make it to a week! Congrats, and keep going. We are here for you!

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

just a quick hello before im off for the afternoon. all is going well and these last few days doing things just for fun. im feeling so positive about not drinking or needing to drink. its such a nasty web that i was stuck in for so long. anywho, thanks for all of your support out there. i love reading your posts and feel like im getting to know some of you better. btw, crab rangoons are basically sontons with a yuppy name. lol. there delicious! have a great day all.

[MsDinah]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nesters. Just a quick hello. I haven’t been on in a few days because I’ve been on vacation - my first sober one. After our day of adventures, we would meet up at the hotel for a happy hour. I brought some NA beer along, so I joined in. I’m on day 38 now. It’s all good!

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Dinah

[daisy45]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everybody. I haven't had a chance to read back yet.
Haven't been here for over a year.......went to AA and was a great success......best part of 10 months sober.
Unfortunately an incident happened and it set me back.....haven't been back there since early February and have found myself falling back into old habits.......starting over......
Can't wait to get a nosy and see what everyone is up to.........

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

that was "wontons".

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi All !

Feeling good about myself Today. I've had numerous 30 days AF these past few years...Mind you I was in Rehab. Would get home & jump on that merry go round again though. Will focus More This Time. Love to read here.

Rose

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Welcome TR and keep up the great work.

Daisy so lovely to have you back and great work on ten months sober. A reminder for us all not to have that first drink. I was talking to my son yesterday about people saying to me that now i have been over 4 years sober surely i could have one. i do happen to look at people who say that like they are brain dead morons and then go into my spiel of why i cannot ever at any time ever again have a drink. Its like talking to a toddler really!

G, maybe a violin, they are quite small! When do you leave?

Wags you are sounding busy busy busy. Isnt it amazing how much busier life gets sober. I thought when i stopped drinking that i would be bored out of my brain but some times there are not enough hours in the day. You go girl. I know if i had of still been drinking i would not be where i am today and i still know and have to confidence to realise that i can and will go further. i just need to learn patience! (not likely)

Keep posting on here LC, we worry when you are off here. Left to our own devices is not good in early sobriety. I know that when i dont post for a week or so no one thinks i am off drinking now. Remember a relapse happens long before that drink. You are the priority now LC, take it easy.

Belle and Lisa, i would not wish my children back to teenagers, the boys grunted for years and the girls hated me and told me how i never understood them. Makes me smile now as they apologise for how awful they were. We all survived which was all that mattered.

I hope that liver of yours keeps healing Kensho. My liver was fine but kidneys not so much. Not much i can do about that now but keep an eye on it. Never when i drank did i have a blood test or mention my drinking. Now my dr asks advice which is great as they are learnt by book not by a real life ex drinker. she is also muslim so not right up there on drinking. i love her to bits.

Well rupey has her ultrasound today and acupuncture so fingers crossed. she is so much better than a few weeks ago. i bought her some socks as we have tiles and she cant grip. she hates them but it does improve her walking.

Take care xx

[daisy45]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Ava.... Thanks and great to hear from you! Feels like coming home!