Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Feathered Friends! 141 days dusted for me. Feeling proud of this today for some reason.

We have legal MJ here too. Not my gig, fortunately. I like life - don't want to numb it any more. I know a lot of people who have had relief from it though. Some of them have become pretty serious users though, and I can tell they are using it Careful PAV!


Its supposed to be 79 degrees today! Love it! Going for a run in a moment. Happy Friday everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon, nesters.
So we gave the hag her gift card, her response was 'Thank you, I like this team.' Whatever....
I'd hoped the gesture would soften her up a little. Today I turned in an order (like I've done for 2 years now) and she sent it back, copied my boss. 'Why do you have a 12 on the right side of the sales contract? This isn't a LEASE, that is where the term of a lease goes. Mind you, we don't do leases, so she knows what that 12 meant. I wrote back that that is the length of the term of the contract. So then my boss pipes in and says that it shouldn't go in that space, we need to designate it on the addendum....ANOTHER form we have to fill out. She is our 4th admin...why is it that it was ok with all of them, AND HER up until today? She's been here about 7 months and just now says something???

LC, I think I will google it, I'm out of fricking ideas. NOTHING I do is right, I cannot stand that woman.
TGIF, is all I can say. It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

:hug:Byrdie,sorry you hafta work with such a miserable person,,just be glad you're not

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Dark, damp day here, yuck.

G, CONGRATS to you on your 8 AF months :yay:
This summer we will plan a great big 1 year party for you!

Pav, sorry about your dog. I hope everything works out OK for him.
Now that I know what you are trying to medicate, ha ha,why don’t you take a look at Relizen?
It’s a non hormonal treatment made in Sweden of flower pollens. The headaches & sleeplessness are due to dropping hormone levels. After too many years of being on HRT I switched to Relizen 3+ months ago & it helps

Byrdie, the old saying - If you can’t kill them with kindness baffle them with bullsh*t fits perfectly in your scenario, LOL
It sounds to me like they make up the rules as they go along, ridiculous! Have yourself a relaxing weekend

Wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Drinking my cup of coffee with the balcony doors open, hoping little squirrly doesn't come to visit right now 'cause the cats are hangin' around.. we never know when he's coming to visit.. if he could just keep to the 6:30 am schedule he used to have, we wouldn't have to worry about scaring him!
We had a couple of really great days at work.. definitely having to bust a move, but the attitudes were good, Spring was in the air, the feeling of change.. going into asparagus, little red radishes, baby carrots, fresh green garlic and all kinds of other herbs and salads.. slowly we're letting go of the celeriac and black radishes, parsnips and cabbage...we love them, but have had enough!
Yesterday, as I was walking to meet my daughter, it occurred to me suddenly, how much more curious I am about everything in life when I'm sober.. when I was drinking I didn't care about my work or the people there (I just wanted to get through it and get home), I couldn't think of a question to ask someone about themselves to save my life, I didn't really have any interests.. I became afraid of conversation 'cause I knew whoever I was talking to would see how shallow and boring and stupid I was (which I more or less was.. brain dead).. I lived the bare minimum of my life, only giving what I had to (with the exception of my girls, thank god).. Bleak. I think being on the other side of the bout of depression I had last week made it clear once again.. I'm slowly learning that these down times are just that.. down times. And though I feel completely off during those times, I find that it's progress that I don't panic, thinking it's the end of the world and drink!

Kensho, Congratulations on 141 days of Freedom! You've found your way out, the good life.. and I am so happy for you..:love:

Pav, so very sorry to hear about your poor dog.. that must have been so scary. Hope he's all better soon..:hug:

Yes, Byrdie, it really sounds like they're just making up the rules as they go. She's sounding crazier by the minute. Damn. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.

Ok. I have a girlfriend coming around at 8:30 (yes, am!) with her Jack Russell puppy for coffee and brekkie.. so I've got to get busy baby proofing my house! This pup is so sweet but she's like the Tasmanian Devil on Looney tunes.. Can you all remember that?! Love and Hugs to you all..

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - so sorry about your dog! I hope he heals quickly and isn't too traumatized. Good luck with the thc-cbd research. You might find something you like. I was happy to find options that don't have the "high" attached since that's not a feeling I enjoy or even want to tolerate.

G dude - congrats on 8 months!!! Are you excited for your upcoming trip?

Byrdie - OMG that woman at work sounds horrible. I love the suggestion "baffle them with bullshit!" Haha, thanks Lav


In Wagland, it was a bit of a rough day. One that I would have drank at in days past. I took on a new client a week or so ago, and we had our first meeting yesterday. At the end, she was very happy with everything and excited to work with me. She told me how much better she felt than with the last person she had contracted with - how that person hadn't helped her at all and that she was trying to get all of her money back. Then she asked me to reduce my hourly rate by 20% because "she's paying for it herself" instead of getting her parents' help. I'm generally game to try to work with people who are on tight budgets, but the way she asked me was fairly insulting and sent up red flags that I'd be in for a lot of extra emotional energy on this one. It felt like no matter how much "free" time I gave her, it would never be enough and she might end up trying to get all of her money back at the end. She sort of alluded to the idea that she might have to work with someone else if I didn't reduce my rate. I left with a gut feeling that I should bow out of this gig. Instead, I thought it over and sent her a message offering to meet her in the middle - between her requested rate and my usual rate. No response.

24 hours later, still no response. I decided I'm out, and I sent her an update letting her know of my decision. Well THAT got a quick response. I then spent way too much emotional energy and time thinking about how to share with her the feedback that I just didn't think we were a good fit for working together. I worded my reply very carefully, trying to be kind but firm, maintaining my boundary.

Well, she wrote back and lit into me. I know she thinks she really showed me, but I'll tell you what - she more than confirmed my suspicions that I hadn't been able to put into words about how she was going to be difficult to work with and that ultimately I was going to regret it. So I've been pretty upset today, and even said out loud that this was the closest I've come to wanting a drink but that no way was I going to actually drink. And the thought never crossed my mind again. I went for a walk with our pup, and then a bike ride, and tried to get everything out of my system. I really feel like I dodged a bullet on this one, but it never feels good to have someone try to manipulate you or blame you for the woes in their life.

So blech... I am so glad I trusted my gut, and by this time tomorrow I will hopefully have moved on. I have three great clients tomorrow and I will focus on the positive. Thanks for listening everyone. I guess the end of the story is that even though on Day 600-something (seems like I'm in the mid-600s by now, but I lost count), the thought of drinking might still surface but it also quickly disappears if you don't give it any ground to take root.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

This pup is so sweet but she's like the Tasmanian Devil on Looney tunes.. Can you all remember that?! Love and Hugs to you all..

:harhar: Pups are so cute! So is this little fella - Tasmanian devil - Wikipedia Raaawkin it LC!

Thanks all for the 8 month congrats! :heartbeat: 1 year coming up Lav!

Wagaroo, i'm quietly excited about the trip. But i'm still in organising mode to relax just yet. thanks mi amiga.

Hope your pup's ok there Pav. That's always upsetting.

Byrdy, sounds like the boss is trying to get his leg over with Ms. Grumpy pants? Maybe that's why there's a high turnover. Doesn't help you either way. What's wrong with people? I didn't resort to that kind of behaviour even when i was full on boozing 24/7. People are at different stages of development, mentally, emotionally no matter the age. This can make the world interesting, but also a little frustrating!

I'm travelling in a bit over a weeks time. Better book some accomodation. That might be an idea G fella.

Edit: Wags, i meant to say re getting upset. I got a little upset earlier this week when a bloke told me off for doing something very minor, and his grumpiness was an overreaction (in my mind, not his of course) but still i was surprised i got upset by this. It wasn't an argument or any major event, just some snappyness on his part wheni was just doing my job with good intention. My inner response surprised me. It bothered me for a couple of days actually. All ok though. But this reminded me of the need to build and maintain strong inner resilience and centre/balance so i'm not rocked off course easily. No drinking thoughts, well, there might've been for a second or 2 but then my mind turned to how can i feel better about this? I just tried to not ruminate on it and get busy doing other things, letting time take care of it, lessening it's importance hour by hour, day by day. Resilience. Emotional balance. Inner equilibrium. Important stuff for me, and i know for many of us.

take care out there.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Wags,woo great thing you followed your gut feeling with that potential client! Sounds like a P.I.A,wishing everyone a super,sober Saturday has anyone seen Crusader? Maybe I'm just not seeing her posts

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning--

Byrdie and Wags - get mad but then I know you both know - you can't control the behavior to other people, only your reaction to them. You KNOW how things are going to go down, Byrdie. Don't expect otherwise and you won't be disappointed. Wags, your instinct got you out of a messy one - amazing.

Big family party last night. After the week I had, I must say I looked a little longingly at the cocktails everyone was having. But only for a minute. Alcohol is such a quick and potent relaxant! Of course, I can easily play the scene forward, and I didn't REALLY want a drink. At one point my sister-in-law and I got into a laughing fit about something, and it felt SO good. That is a quick relaxant, too.

G - I missed! Eight months is FABULOUS!!!!

I'm a bit scattered, but I'm going to pull myself together and get on with the day.

Pav

[LisaM]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 11 again and im feeling good. No cravings and still plugging along with the daily or close to workouts. My mind feels so clear. I getting myself mentally prepped for my husband going out of town tomorrow for three days. In the past it was filled with nightly drinking and pushing through the days hungover takings care of the kids needs at the bare minimum. Ive got some plans in place to keep me busy and will stick close to the program and people ive been getting to know who are doing the deal also. Ive actually been enjoying how ive been feeling physically and mentally and dont want to screw that up and set myself back again.
Lifechange, i totally relate to how difficult it is in social situations not knowing what to say or what others are thinking of me etc. Im pushing thru those negative self worth feelings and making dates with a few sober friends for coffee/lunch to help get back in the swing of things. Not easy but i know need to start somewhere. Several of these women gave up getting together with me because i was so flaky and preferred to drink myself into oblivion at home alone.
Sun is shining and dog wants to walk me. Have a good day all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The sun came back today & it was nice. Now a storm is rolling in, ha ha! April showers/May flowers, whatever.

Wags, isn't it amazing how the emotional vampires just pop into our lives with every intention of getting what they want, regardless of what they do to us?
I have blown off so many of them (mostly relatives) because I just refuse to accept the abuse. Good for you standing strong & protecting your boundaries.

LC, it's nice to hear you are enjoying a more peaceful mind. Depression just sucks & clouds our outlook. I have had enough of that myself.
I think possibly that every Jack Russell terrier should be named TAZ, haha!

Hello to G, Pauly, Pav, Lisa & everyone stopping in today.
Wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Gads, Wags! I tell you, we just dont listen to our gut enough. Im so glad you didnt take on that client. Yikes! Ive got one now that I am wondering what I was thinking.
It has been a beautiful day, got out in the yard and planted some snapdragons. Feels good to get outside.
Glad to have a clear head and heart on this gorgeous day.
Pav, thank you for the perspective, you are right, I DO know what to expect. Next time, I should say, ‘Thank you for finding a new error in my paperwork! I dont know how Ive been able to survive in the sales arena for 32 years making all these mistakes.’ Bahaha. I love it!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, Nesters,

yes, Pav, you are right on.. and good one Byrdie..Ha! that's the best response I've heard thusfar! How did you possibly make it for so long without her?:happy2:

Wags, I am so glad you listened to your gut! Very well done.. we often know but for whatever reason don't act on it/act against it. Thank goodness you were of sound mind...

Lisa, I'm also thinking a lot about how well I feel mentally and physically and how I don't want to f*** that up.. no, no. Getting together for a coffee/lunch with sober friends is a great idea.. I have been in the process of renewing some friendships I didn't take care of.. and have let go of some that weren't good for me. It's definitely a process, but thankfully it does get easier to take care of ourselves. I find that in taking care of myself, by being completely honest about what that entails, the friendships that are good for me naturally redevelop/strengthen (as I reach out, show interest, am able to be honest) and those that aren't, sort of naturally fade off. At least that's how it's been for me. Meant to ask what kind of a dog you have?

Pauly, I was also wondering about Crusader.. haven't seen her in the Nest for quite awhile. I hope she's ok.

Hi to everyone stopping by/flying by today.. Let's make it a good one! xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

Happy Sunday. Perfect response, Byrdie!

Got in two conversations this week where people got a tad upset and basically intimated that I was judging them/others for drinking - I guess merely by not drinking myself. Amazing how people cling to their alcohol. I don't have the energy to fight the radical fight against alcohol that I believe in - spitting into the wind at this point.

We're cleaning and painting our tv room/office. AMAZING and DISGUSTING what we're uncovering behind furniture that essentially hasn't moved in 15 years...

Take care of yourselves and don't drink!
Pav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, Nesters!

I can't believe how time flies...I do love catching up with you all, but need to get on here more often

Thanks for the college advice. Son makes his decision today and even though he won't say it, I know which way he is going. I told him that the bottom line is that I want him to be in a place where he is happy to be there when he wakes up in the morning. He is choosing the small school where he is really wanted by 3 of the professors who knows his talent as he went to a summer camp there last year. Something to be said about being wanted. I also think these professors will watch over him and demand success out of him. Kind of like having 3 surrogate mothers to kick his butt if necessary.

And yesterday I took daughter to my Alma Mater for a first unofficial college visit. She is only in the 9th grade, but never to early to start giving her things to think about. Here we go again...but I think the college admission experience will be a lot different for her.

Hi [MENTION=13741]daisy45[/MENTION]...I remember you! I am back here also after an "incident" that slowly brought back all the old habits. It is like a vortex that sucks you back in if you give it a toehold. Coming back here was the best thing to do.

There have been a couple stressful moments in the past week where I just wanted to throw in the towel and say f it and take a slug of gin. But knowing I am determined not to drop out of the nest (even though it is hard for me to post as much as I would like to...) I couldn't imagine coming here and admitting I did that. That is just one of the benefits of being part of this group. It has saved me more than once. Husband broke out a bottle of wine last night but that didn't phase me. I just stuck to my tonic water.

Wishing all a great week...I need to read back some more to get my focus in the right place for the week.