Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ola, Hola, hello everyone,

Great work Kensho. I know without doubt, that for every problem there is a solution. We just might have to do some digging. keep us posted on how you go. You raawk.

Hope things have smoothed out for you Byrdie.

Lav, i got the yella fever vaccination! Main reason is i'm trying to line up a few days in the Amazon jungle. Let's hope i can find a tour guide. Doc gave me script for malaria pills, plus i'll get some mozzie spray. They recommended and gave me a hep B shot too.

Will def be hoping to update samba moves etc. and other adventures. Will try to get into the habit of taking lot's of pics, especially of nature.

Take care out there. You're worth it.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We lucked out with another real nice day in Lav-land, grateful

G, sounds like you have been completely immunized & prepared for just about anything - good!!!
I'd love to see some nature pics (especially chickens if you see any, ha ha)!

Byrdie, computers are just awesome until they don't work. Hope tomorrow is better for you.

Hi Pav!

Kensho, sorry your day went south but let's look at this realistically - no one died, right? Things can always be a lot worse (any where you work). Take some deep, deep breaths & know that you will find a solution :hug:

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here's a good reason to quit drinking: sometime in the future you may have a household full of guests, a messed up job, and a TB-like cough with all of the associated problems for 7 days :upset:. Company leaves tomorrow and the cough is slowly going away so there is hope on the horizon but I have spent the last week so grateful I didn't have the added burdens of craving and/or sneaking around that come with addiction. xx, NS

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hope you're feeling better NS,waves to all

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

NS - Good to see you pop in. So sorry you're not feeling well. Really, a bad cough is so awful, and all the other stuff on top? Hope you heal quickly.

Byrd! When it rains, it pours. So glad you're not drinking AT the situation.

Kensho - great reflection. I have a very stressful job, and I know what I thought I was getting out of drinking, too. Glad you could recognize the thought and move on to real solution.

Speaking of personnel (well, I was in my head) - my crazy team stuff has not gone away. I don't think it will until one of the team members finally goes away, but she's going to take every ounce of our patience until then. Thank goodness I don't drink.

Happy Hump Day.
Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here's to all who have chosen NOT to let their stressful work and/or other situations be an excuse (not a reason) to drink!

NS - sorry to hear you've been so ill. There was a cough going around this past winter that was similar to what you've described. I hope you feel 100% better soon! :hug:

G-buddy - I hope you have a fantastic time in Brazil. Are you going to spend time in any of the major cities? And the Amazon sounds like a great idea. My only Brazil travel experience was a layover at the Santa Cruz airport on my way to/from Bolivia many moons ago (scary how many moons actually). Woohoo for pics to share when you get back!

Kensho - I hear you on the stress and the fleeting thoughts of "just one" (to help us unwind or cope of course - not!). Good for you on deflecting that quickly and firmly. I actually think my business would fall apart right now if I started drinking, so I've got more incentive than ever to protect my quit.

Byrdie - same for you - hooray for not killing anyone, and boo for computer problems. One day of that really shows us how dependent we've become on technology huh? Hoping today and the rest of the week go better for you.



In Wagland, I'm as busy as I could possibly be without losing my sanity. It's truly a boom time for my new business direction and it's very exciting. There is literally NO way I could drink and still hold all of this together. I just keep reminding myself that it will get easier, that it has already gotten easier and I'm handling a client load I could not have fathomed even 6 months ago. I'm focusing on gratitude for this opportunity, for this time of abundance, and I'm more aware than ever that I have way too much to lose to risk it for a drink. No thanks - I'll stay here in the sunshine rather than turning down that dark tunnel again.

Happy hump day/eve everyone!!!

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello - I've been relying on pure adrenaline to Stop the thoughts of AL from popping into my head daily. Oh sure I attend AA meetings , meet with my substance abuse counselor weekly, and take my anti depressants which I've been on for years. Since I live alone it's mainly mid afternoon thru the evening that I get restless. My schedule I plan for my daytime is usually all done by then. Reading here is spot on - even in the wee hrs of the morning. I truly madly deeply would rather fall off of a cliff than to go thru yet another detox. It ain't pretty.

Bye for now

Rose

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

NS i hope you feel better soon. homemade chicken soup, just dont ask me to make it.

Pav, i just try and ignore the village idiots now. The new prof wants the admin staff to work as a team, impossible when the team has two people who are control freaks. i just step away and try not to get too stressed. I hope you fur baby is on the mend.

Ive had a lovely visit with my eldest boy for a few days and his big fur baby. hard to believe he turns 30 this year, where does the time go! My girls are not happy about the other dog and he is so big compared to them, they will be happy to say goodbye.

Kensho, great work on looking forward. I am in that happy place now where there are no thoughts of al when i am stressed, more thoughts of how hard it would be to physically throw someone out a window. I do know if a thought ever pops in MWO is the place to come to.

LC hope you are doing ok. You asked about my mum before. she is okay, still talking to me and not talking to me and i just accept that that is how she is. she has moved in with my eldest son who has the patience of a saint i think but he seems to deal with her better than the rest of us. i do no there will come a time when i have to step up as she is 81 but for now she is fit and healthy and tolerable. its mothers day soon so i will pop down and visit her.

Wags, i dont think your business would be the only thing that fell apart if you drank! You are proof that life only gets better and better the more time we are away from al.

TR those thoughts will fade eventually. the witching hour for me was 5.15pm onwards, thats when i got home from work and started drinking and then stopped when i passed out/blacked out. You are doing the right thing by being on here and using your tools. I would sleep when i was tired as i knew my body would be awake at some ungodly hour. i figured that i put my body through hell for years so it was payback time for awhile. for me it took about 6 weeks and then one day i came home from work and just made a cup of tea without a thought of a drink. that day was a good day as all sober days are. There can never be a day 1 for me.

well i had better get back to work.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, I thought it would be impossible for an alcoholic to ever have a day that she didnt crave a drink. It was a true blessing when I realized I had gotten thru the day with nary a thought of getting wasted. It took me a long time, mybe longer than it should have, Im a stubborn old coot, but it eventually happaned and I feel so grateful for that. To think all that time I wasted on wanting a drink, needing a drink. Time helps a lot of things and alcoholism is one of them. Noticed I didnt say time CURES this. I know it would only take one drink to get that awful machine right back in motion. Actually, all it takes is one THOUGHT to take root, so I push those out immediately.

It was 2 years ago today that I got the phone call that my job was being eliminated. That was a very bad day. Ive come a long way in that time...Ive had every reason in the world to choke people but I havent...,,,WINNING!

NS, Im so sorry you are poorly. I HATE a cough. Misery! Plus company, you are a saint! Im glad you dont drink, too.
Ava, I love the way you write. If you and NS dont team up to write a book, you are missing the boat!
Tribal, glad you are hanging in, it is a battle of wills, isnt it? The Drinking You and the Sober You, over time the battle gets much easier and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about....takes time, tho. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day! We are pulling for you!
G, sounds like you are READY! Will you be taking your AB? Wouldnt hurt to innoculate yourself against booze, too! Gads, all those fevers you mention give me the heebeegeebees! Be careful over there!
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well, spring lasted about two days & now we are into summer - too hot! Crazy stuff!

NS, bless you & I hope you are better very soon. Nothing beats you up like a harsh cough, ugh. Cough on the company, maybe they'll go home

TR, just keep hanging in the nest & we'll help you succeed! I don't blame you about not wanting to do another detox, that's harsh too.
Now's a good time to pick up an old hobby or start a new one. Keeping your mind engaged in something not related to AL is a great tool.

Wags, good news about your business, congrats!

Hello to Pav, Kensho, G, Byrdie, Ava & everyone!

Let's all have a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[MsDinah]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nesters. I hope everyone is doing well. I haven’t been on in a while, so I thought I’d pop in and wish you all a good evening. Still loving the sober life!

Dinah

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters, near and not-so-near,

I passed my five-year sober day on the weekend, and was very happy to wake up on the day and realise. However, my DH was quite non-plussed when I told him: "I don't know why you're still counting, you gave up drinking and that's it......" I was super disappointed in his response. I think it's partly because I've always minimised the issue, I really didn't want him to know what a big problem it was as he might have left me, or want to control me if I chose to have a drink (which of course I don't want to now.) Oh well.

I did have Major Drinking Thoughts a few months ago. As I posted, I was planning in my mind going away somewhere obscure for one night, and "partying" in a hotel room on my own. But what finally stopped me following through was the thought of how deceitful I would have to be - lying to DH and others. I'm lucky to have good, supportive friends, and to have to tell them I'd messed up would be awful. So I'd have to lie to them. And I'd be lying to myself too. Fortunately that eventually stopped me from following through. As we all know it's not that simple - I would have set myself back in a major way. My logical self knows I can't drink for "just one night." And like others have said here, I don't think I could go through another quit. It's VERY bad for the brain to go through that.

So I remain grateful, despite the fact that DH doesn't celebrate my sobriety with me!

I also want to add that I feel a bit rueful when I post here, because I only post infrequently. I'm online all day five days a week, and my anxiety levels are really high. Mum's got alzheimers and life is challenging. But I never stop thinking about MWO and its lovely people, I do check to see how folks are going from time to time, even though I don't post. Eternally grateful to MWO and wish everyone all the very best.

peace to all,
Steady

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest--

STEADY! Congratulations! 5 years is an amazing milestone. Sorry your husband didn't celebrate like you wanted - but I get that. Sometimes I think I minimize the effort it took to quit as well. I'm SO glad you resisted that temptation and very happy to celebrate with you. I hope you did something for yourself.

Tribal - When I quit alcohol, I always thought it would be my first thought, and that I'd learn to live with always going to my second thought - to relieve stress, have fun, celebrate without alcohol seemed impossible. What a wonderful surprise that now when I come home, even from a stressful day, I rarely think about alcohol. I think about food, bubbly water, seeing my family, my dogs, etc. How much better is it to think about my family rather than getting in my first drink? You got this!

Off to work and my own village idiots. Why does Gloria Gaynor "I will survive" keep playing in my head!?!?

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - haha, great song to get you through the day!

TRose - the "witching hour" is a topic that many of us have chewed on. Your late afternoon into the eve time is a common one, although for some folks it's different. I'm sure you know this, but one thing that people have found to be especially helpful is to take that time that comes 'after your planned day has ended' and plan something for that time chunk too. It doesn't necessarily have to be something tiring or complicated - going for a daily walk, hopping into the nest and reading/posting, literally anything that keeps you busy and distracts you long enough to get over the hump so to speak. It will feel like an effort at first, but gradually it will just be the new routine! Keep posting for sure - as others have said, strap yourself in tight here.

Steady - Great to see you and congrats on 5 years!!! That's a fantastic milestone. We know you're here with us, even if you don't post very often.


So I had a drinking dream last night, and I learned something potentially useful from it. I can't recall the specifics, but something (probably someone) in my dream made me very angry. I was livid! And in my dream I was thinking VERY hard about drinking. Like I was even processing the price I'd pay - losing 650ish days of my quit, feeling like crap almost immediately, etc. Fortunately, I didn't drink in the dream and I remembered enough about it when I woke up to be aware of the above details. And it occurred to me that I've never considered being angry as a possible trigger that might make me want to drink. Sad, lonely, stressed, even celebratory - those are the more likely triggers for me personally. But in this dream I came closer to drinking than I think any other time during the past 20+ months.

I'm grateful for this dream. It was realistic enough that I'm treating it as a valid temptation that I didn't act on. And the eye-opening aspect that being angry might in fact make me think about drinking gives me a heads-up that I believe will help me in the future. I'm not angry very often - not in this way where it's about a specific person or situation at least - and I can see how that might potentially catch me off guard in real life.

Thank you subconscious for bringing this to my attention so I can proactively take steps to respond differently and more resolutely than I did in my dream. Whew - no wonder I woke up exhausted - that was a lot of work!

Have great Thursday days & eves everyone!!!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the well-wishes, Nesters. Each day is better, or at least full of different symptoms. And some of the company has left. And there is a little lull at work so I finally have a bit of time to post.

Great to see you, Steady. I have been TOTALLY understated about the difficulty of quitting. At the beginning that was because I was still so mortified about my situation and hiding it. I could't say it was hard to quit because that would be to admit that it was a problem. I acted like it was no bigger a deal than giving up gluten or sugar, which I'd previously done with little effort. So, like with those, I quit for my "health" --- which technically was true but certainly not the whole story! Now it is such a non-issue for me and everyone else, the subject doesn't come up. If someone asked, though, I think I would now be able to tell a more honest story. Probably not the gruesome details, but I wouldn't dismiss it as no big deal, like I did in the past.
Anyway, WE celebrate YOU and your 5 AF years!!!

It's funny that we take drinking dreams as messages from the universe and tend to worry about (awake) drinking thoughts. They're all just ideas popping in and out of our heads. I say we take the good from them (like you are, Wags) and let the rest just float away.

A big clue is how you're feeling while you're thinking those thoughts. I know the times I've ruminated about having a drink, I felt nervous, anxious, and worried --- all negative.
So, I let those thoughts go as they were clearly leading no where good. It sounds like that happened to you, too, Steady:

...was the thought of how deceitful I would have to be

That would not feel good at all!

The thoughts to the follow are the ones that bring feelings of peace, contentment, happiness --- the good stuff. We see those listed here all the time - clear-headed Saturday mornings, eating and enjoying food, successfully managing challenging co-workers, surviving the teenage years, not killing our bosses...

Just like the burning feeling from touching a hot stove is a signal to back off, the painful or angry feelings that arise from some thoughts are a warning that that's not where we want to go, assuming we all want a calm, contented, and peaceful life. And at the moment, that definitely is what I want :smile:!