Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! Yesterday shaped up to be one struggle after the next. Until the very end when I finally decided just to go to bed. Sleep always helps coping and problem solving. So here I am, ready to tackle the day with my coffee in hand!!

Not interested in boozing my time away. So glad I am not that person any more - I was a shell. The me I am now was buried in there, but she was undeveloped and stagnated. Now she can breathe and process and grow and embrace every moment life has to offer - even the struggles. Happy for that. Now, if I could just get people to do their jobs...

G - glad you made it! Tell me about the food down there next time you check in. I have always been very drawn to the Central/South American cultures. It's not in my bloodlines, but I must have had past lives there or something! HA! Enjoy your first day - without the distraction of finding a bar and wasting hours sitting there.

Be strong today Everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning from Chile! Hazy and cool, 18C today, 7c tonight. Next week will be Rio and 26c daily. :welldone: Sadhana done and popped a quarter AB just as a backup. But i have zero desire to lose control of this sober vibe and feeling things in my life, the highs and the lows.

Right on Kensho. No desire today to sit around in a bar boozing and talking rubbish. Sounds like you are raawking it. I had a burger kind of thing late last night from a simple, open onto street takeaway joint. One of those joints that caters to shift workers, taxi drivers, battlers....cheap and really good. Cant recall the name of the food but ill find out. It was a basic panne/roll with tomatoe, avocado and beef or lamb. Simple cheap and did the job. Then me, the boss, the younger woman serving, and a homeless fella got into a conversation huddled around boss mans phone and google translate. lol. On my walk through the 'Bella vista' area of Santiago looking for food, i noticed a number of folks sleeping rough. Homelessness is everwhere. Anyway, i'll learn more about this town as i go. Only here for 2 more days. Dinner/english/spanish conversation practice tonight with a chica i've just met. Ole!

Get some self lovin in today nesters, K? K.

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

No doubt we all benefit from different methods of detox. Sheesh...I'm one of those who needed medical attention. Had a heart attack at my home and was alone. Nothing a few stents couldn't repair yet it was scary. Feeling so healthy now, yet the desire to drink will Always be with me.

Rose

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Another nice day here for us, lucky

G, you seem to be comfortably immersed in a new culture already. Somehow I knew you would be able to do that. ha ha! Take care of yourself fella!

Rose, why do you think the desire to drink will always be with you?
That's not been my experience or the experience of most others here. Perhaps you could institute some changes in your thinking. We talk a lot about gratitude around here & for good reason. In your own words you say you are 'feeling so healthy now'. That sounds like it should be #1 on your gratitude list. Going thru a medical emergency all on your own has to be very scary but you survived, you're here. What else are you grateful for today? Keep that list going & add to it often, it will change your attitude & thinking - all good stuff

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!!!

Lav

Kensho, glad today started out on a positive note for you!

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav...I'm trying to be mindful of the Good things in my current life. Just being Alive is tops for me. The bottle was a daily given part of my existence for decades so the thoughts or maybe it's the habit that I dunno how to let go of. Lil steps is on my To Do list every day.

Rose

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

afternoon nesters

So glad to see you having fun G and checking in. that accountability aspect is huge for us. Wander away and so does our brain! Its so f"ing cold in Melbourne, winter has arrived. TAke care and be safe.

Tribal, i never thought i would stop thinking about al and it would always be a huge part of my life, but its not. i can go months without thinking about it and very very rarely do i want it and if i do its due to stress. i have all my tools in place to handle all situations that may pop up and as lav says once i learned to be grateful the road was easier to manage. Its like being allergic to peanuts, we cant have al anymore, it will kill us.

well we have had a cold snap in melbourne. i spent most of yesterday trying to get my heater fixed after my apparent reschedule of the appointment but to no avail. the tenancy advocates are useless as tits on a bull and i am in my cold house waiting until the 14th to get it looked at. i dont use the heating much but thats not the point! ok rant done. SO's aunt went to the nursing home and i was supposed to meet with the palliative care people this morning but they had to reschedule so now its tomorrow. the staff seem to think that if his aunt refused the morphine they dont have to give it to her. she is not medically capable of making that decision so i will be banging some heads against walls. she doesnt need to be in pain and they can tell her they are giving her a vitamin shot. Its always a tricky slope when it involves the patient and staff and duty of care etc. Im feeling some ME time coming on.
We did have a wonderful dr who explained it all to the SO yesterday so he now realises that it is only a matter of time and all the money in the world will not extend her time here, this young man will make a brilliant dr when he has finished his study.

How is it going Rocket?

Off to heat up a hot water bottle and jump into bed.

take care xx

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

I found this on another site, I think it's worth a read, better than most list articles;
2 Common Things People Realize When They Quit Drinking Alcohol

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I'm back! Bad eating while away, but no booze and no desire. It was a good conference with a lot of creative thinkers and people who are optimistic about what we can accomplish in the future.

Thanks for that list, Mr. V. I would say the most surprising thing to me was the increased ability to deal with people. I'm not as sensitive to what people say - I used to cry, get angry, get frustrated with other people WAY more easily. And I like that idea at the end that sobriety actually gives you an advantage in a booze-soaked society.

G - Sounds wonderful. I'm jealous...

Ava - Your SO is lucky to have you - in many ways! but in particular to help him deal with end of life care for the aunt. It can get so difficult, confusing and guilt inducing. I am glad she and he both have you in their corner.

Rock - i get the fear with tapering. At one point on day 1 I was feeling very anxious and told my husband I had a fear about becoming Amy Winehouse. In that case, you would probably be better off consulting a doctor and getting supervision to taper. There is a ton about tapering on the Internet - I've read it all. One common theme is how difficult it is because in order to taper you have to have booze in the house, and the alcohol brain doesn't like to say no when there is booze available. Other people have done it on their own, but I saw a counselor one - one when I quit. It was helpful for me to have a person to whom I was accountable other than my husband. The point that Ava and Byrd make is valid - you just need to pick a date. There is a thread around here about that topic.

Rose - I concur with Lav - it is not my experience that I want booze all of the time. In fact, I rarely think about it now. When I first started, I thought Lav's idea of gratitude was New Age BS, and I thought everyone who was saying that they didn't think of booze was really just saying comparatively they didn't think about booze MUCH. That's the crazy thing - people around here were right. The aggregate experiences tell us that you WILL get to a point where you don't think about it, and the science shows that a practice of gratitude really does help. Even if it is not an actual list, think about all the ways in which your life is or will be better due to not having booze in it.

LC, Wags, and everyone else, hope all is well.

xo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

...yet the desire to drink will Always be with me. Rose

This really struck me when I read it, Rose, and I totally agree with Lav's response. The desire to drink fades over time. It can pop up again from time to time but after a substantial period AF, it is pretty easy to dismiss those thoughts as really crazy, destructive ideas.

or maybe it's the habit that I dunno how to let go of. Lil steps is on my To Do list every day. Rose

Once the physical dependence is gone, and that doesn't really take very long for most people, the mental habit is the challenge! Many people including me have found this book helpful:
The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking Any Habit: Amy Johnson PhD, Mark Howard PhD: 978162625231: Amazon.com: Books
Take care, NS

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

I s'pose I'm not giving myself enough credit for the past few wks remaining AF without assistance from a facility. Librium carried me thru the 1st week. In the past I always caved and gave in to the bottle. Won't I Always be an alcoholic ? Just like the magistrate told me the night they handed me my paperwork...Ma'am your tolerance level is Thru the roof.

Rose

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I s'pose I'm not giving myself enough credit for the past few wks remaining AF without assistance from a facility. Librium carried me thru the 1st week. In the past I always caved and gave in to the bottle. Won't I Always be an alcoholic ? Just like the magistrate told me the night they handed me my paperwork...Ma'am your tolerance level is Thru the roof. Rose

Not to be too much of a buttinsky here, Rose, but what is your longest time period AF since you realized you needed to quit?

It is hard to wait, I know, but time truly heals us. And we have to allow it to do its work. It took a long time of heavy drinking to become addicted so it really isn't surprising that it takes time to heal.

If the desire to drink that we feel in the first days or even months were permanent, I'm not sure there would be a forum because I don't think many of us would have made it! That first period is so physically and mentally stressful, I doubt it would be sustainable if the desire didn't fade. So the fact that there are many people here with a good number of days, weeks, months, and years of AF time behind them should give you hope! And yes, give yourself TONS of credit for making it as far as you have on your own (with a little help from your friends :wink.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Amen, NS. I was convinced that I would NEVER get to a point where I didnt crave AL, not thinking of AL was, well, unthinkable. It had been such a huge part of my life for 30 years, it WAS hard to let go. You nailed it, one day I was going to bed and I realized I hadnt thought of AL all day! THAT was a blessing, and it gets better every day. I had to finally let go, holding on to hope only held me back...way back. Letting go of AL was the best thing I ever did.
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Thunderstorms currently in Lav-land but the promise of nice weather afterwards makes it OK

Mr V, that was a great list, thanks for posting the link.

Pav, glad your trip was good, welcome back!

Rose, absolutely give yourself a pat on the back for your progress so far. Things are different this time, you're with us & you at commited to making this your forever & final quite, right?

Ava, can you get yourself a small space heater for the time being? Brrrr!!

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

I know I was free of AL for 30 days every time I went to rehab. Oh sure I had a few days AL free over the decades but it was only because I was too sick to drink any more. I don't have any bio kids but sure wish it was in the cards for me. Maybe 9 months of abstinence would have saved me a lot of grief.

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry for the multiple replies but I can't type as fast as my words come to me. Me & technology don't mesh too well :-( I've outlived 2 husbands and was self employed ( construction ) for 38 years prior to retiring in 2015.

It was the DUI and the heart attack in 2016 that made me scared. And so I got MAD and said I was either gonna give UP or give IN. It's a blessing to wake up