Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone. I've been absent - bad me. A couple of interesting things this week...

On NPR, there was a big story about a woman who got breast cancer. She did a whole bunch of research on how alcohol accounts for 15% of breast cancer deaths. Most notably to her, though, was the lack of publicity about the dangers of alcohol. Finally people are seeing the crazy marketing around this. She said that instead of placing warnings on the lables (like cigarettes), the industry instead decided to launch an ad campaign about how healthy alcohol is. Many of these claims have since been debunked - and the notion we have here in the states that "they drink all the time in France" (a statement I grew up with) - was also criticized since the liver cirrhosis levels have gone through the roof there! It was a good story.

The other thing was during my furniture installation yesterday, I had to re-accessorize a bar area. I had to touch many bottles of everything and move glasses around, etc. It was weird. I said to myself "I don't drink" again and again the entire time. It felt a little too familiar.

This is the time last year when I said screw it and drank. The spring/summer weather gets me going. So I'm just putting that out there. I don't want to be a drinker.

Happy weekend everyone. Have a good one!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Glad to see you checking in G, LC and Kensho.

Belle, i always had teenagers in my house. i thought when i had 4 children they would all play together. Well that was wrong and i always had a houseful of noise but i loved it most of the time. I didnt really start to drink until the youngest was 15 so i was more a binge drinker back then. I always thought it was nice they wanted to bring friends home as chaotic as it was. My eldest turned 31 the other day and i just wonder where all that time has gone.

Today is mothers day here so SO and i are off to see my mum. His aunt was great yesterday so i went and sat with her for awhile and chatted. She is a dear soul and i have liked our chats. Friday i thought she was a gonna and yesterday she was sitting up. Our focus is on her atm and being comfortable. We were invited to drinks at a neighbours place late yesterday afternoon and of course we had to say yes as we were put on the spot. It was that time of day you didnt want to go out. It was actually nice when we got those 30 feet down the road. Luckily i had some drink to take although i was offered the glass of wine/champers/beer to which i declined. the hostess then suggested i have some bourbon in my coke to which i said no thanks, she then said "so you DONT drink then" to which i said no i dont. I did get the look of "who is this alien" ha ha. it was a nice few hours and they had a lovely sausage dog that i cuddled.

Well i had better go and get ready for the day, i am hoping its a pleasant one but my mother has come out with some clangers in the last week or so. We have a young family member who has lost half his leg due to disease and has a drinking problem. I was trying to tell mum that maybe he had a problem due to trauma he had in his young life (dad drowned and was an alkie, mum died early from cancer) and she adamantly told me it come from the Fowler side of the family (whoever they are) and that was that. So everyone i am the way i am due to the bloody Fowler side of the family!

Take care xx

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone - As always Lots of thought provoking words here. True stuff that I hold dearly. I have a great To Do thing to do this weekend. House & Pet Sitting for 2 locals. It's nice to have a side job. I don't get paid. But the ladies bake me goodies :-)

Happy Mothers Day to those who have and will always have kiddos.

Rose

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We have a huge storm blowing in & a tornado watch issued for our area - oh my!!!!

Just wanted to say hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Hope the power stays on this time

Lav

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

I think my dogs /cats are settled down for the night with their weekend friendly furbabies. I have 3 lapdogs + 2 cloud baby cats...they kinda just fell on my property. I had to learn how to care for the cats - they are now 12 and 18 yrs young. I just love them All !

Rose

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!
Happy Mother's day to all you Moms out there, Nest Mothers, pet Mothers.. most of us have been care givers at some point! Happy day to you all..
I've got a nice one planned (my kids are away for a week with their dad) going to a lake with a friend and her dog.. I'm making lunch boxes in mason jars and am having fun cooking up all the little components that go inside. Later I'll go and visit the girls' surrogate grandma across the street.. she's very sweet but also very opinionated at the age of 82.. we've had our share of heated discussions! She sells lavender that her family grows in Croatia to earn a bit of extra money and on weekends with nice weather she sets up across the street.. all dressed in purple with cookies for the kids and some nasty, syrupy liqueur for the adults. She knows I don't drink! (even when I did, I didn't like that!)

Kensho, I'm right there with you.. I don't want to be a drinker either!
This morning around 4 I woke up and spent some time thinking of how much better my life is now that I don't drink. I still have the bouts of depression that throw me off a bit, send me into a panic.. but I've finally learned that they don't last so long. Recently I read a meditation that just 10 minutes long, and you repeat to yourself, "May I be happy. May I be well. May I be kind toward my suffering. May I cultivate more kindness within my heart. May I cultivate more peace within my heart. May I continue to develop and grow.." What is especially relevant to me is the being kind toward my suffering part.. when I'm not feeling great I tend to beat myself up for it.. which is absolutely the wrong approach! As if I've committed a crime, I punish myself, using force against force, which we all know doesn't work.. in fact, it usually causes more harm. In the past, this has probably been my biggest trigger.. I cut myself so far down that there's no point in anything, no solution, no light.. Now I'm allowing myself to feel it, accepting it instead of fighting it, knowing it will pass..

Ava, how nice that you got to have that chat with the SO's aunt.. bless her.
Lav, I hope that storm passes quickly and without harming anyone.. stay safe..:love:
Rose, that is a lot of pets! Are cloud cats, fluffy white cats?
Pav, I haven't done a hut to hut hike in the Alps.. but think I would like too. The hikes we do here are around 6-9 hours each day and quite strenuous (though prob. nothing like in the Alps!) and I have to say, even just carrying a backpack with clothes, etc. was enough for me/us and we were quite happy to have a hot shower each evening.. The b&b's along this trail (it's 8 etappen) range from very rudimentary to quite cushy and this year (as an exception!) I booked us the latter.. thought the teenagers might enjoy a sauna after..:happy2:

ok. Wishing all of you Nesters a lovely Sunday.. big hugs! xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho and LC - let's just nip this in the bud right here. How about changing to "I am not a drinker" instead of that whole squishy "don't want to be" thing??? It sounds like you're both pretty solid these days, but if warm weather or summertime activities are a trigger, what better time to plan ahead than May? Maybe some reinforcements on your toolkits - or at least a revisit to see what all you each have in yours and to remind yourselves why you don't drink. Then start picturing those summer events and activities with your favorite non-al drinks in hand (or better yet - so busy doing other fun stuff you don't even have a free hand for a drink?!) Love the meditation LC, and Kensho really glad you showed up and posted, recognizing that this is when you said feck-it last year. Butt velcro anyone???

G - sounds like you're having a fab time in L.Am so far. How many days in BA before you hit Rio?

Ava, Lav, Byrdie - Happy Mom's Day to our most ever-present Nest-Moms As LC said, we've all been caregivers of some sort or another, so happy caregivers day to everyone! And for those missing their moms (me too), I hope this day brings comfort through happy and warm memories.

Pav and LC - I love the types of hut-to-hut hikes you're talking about. There is a fantastic circuit in the Sierras (at least partly in Yosemite) that has been o my bucket list since I was probably 8 or 10 years old. Have either of you done or heard of this loop?

I did a trekking trip in Nepal many years ago that was teahouse to teahouse - absolutely gorgeous scenery and wonderful people. Then in 2014 in Patagonia my friend and I did a couple of the major circuits - you can opt to camp or stay in the refugios at each location (no camping anywhere else - strictly controlled) and we chose camping. That was beautiful and very fun as well, but I think I've learned that my body no longer wants to carry a fully loaded backpack for days on end. I'll either have to learn (and buy) ultralight gear or stick more to the hut/refugio/teahouse versions.


On my end, I'm having a pretty good weekend. I usually have a heavy teaching load both Sat and Sun, but between M's Day and a few students otherwise unavailable, I've had most of the weekend off - a nice break.

Happy AF Sundays and Sun-Eves everyone!!!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there~

Great post, Wags, regarding the planning ahead for possible drinking "opportunities" in the nice weather. I had one of those experiences yesterday. It was prom day for my son and photos were going to be taken at a Winery. (Turns out they charged people $100 to take photos on their property...so we went to a nearby park instead). I was waiting with some other parents for the kids to arrive, inside the winery. The husband of the other family was carrying a glass of wine and handing one to his wife. He saw me and said "please let me get you a glass of wine, red, white or rose?". Truthfully the wine looked delicious and the setting was perfect. My brain went into circles, but oddly my voice went on autopilot and said "thank you, but could you get me a bottle of water?" I didn't feel the need to explain, etc. He brought me the water and we continued to have a nice time. I'm thinking it is a kind of "muscle memory" coming back to me after my previous almost 5 years AF.

For the newbies, I think this kind of thing takes practice and planning in advance. I am surprised how naturally this came out of my mouth when my brain was saying "wow, I would love a glass of white wine". Of course I did not regret my bottle of water. Would have hated to come here today and say I blew it.

Mom-in-law will be here today. The only thing I plan on doing is tidying up the living room just a bit. I told husband that cooking is on him. I'm really glad that we can have her here to pamper. I miss my Mom, wish she could be here too.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wags - you took the words right out of my mouth. LC and Kensho, you aren't drinkers. You don't drink. Period. Now, set your life up around that fact, and you'll be fine. I've never done the Yosemite hike, but I've heard of it, too. Hmm, maybe next summer...

A busy but fun weekend. I can't believe that it is already May 12. This year has gone SO fast.

I hope you all have Happy Mother's Days - whether you're mothers to humans, fur babies, plants, or ideas. Enjoy yourselves.

xoxo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, I don't know if you (or someone who really loves you is a sew-er), but I made one of these for my husband several years ago: The Ray-Way Backpack Kit by Ray & Jenny Jardine
It has been on many weekend and multiweek backpacking trips and is hanging in there (I know he takes great care of it because he is too chicken to ask me to make it again ). We've also made the super lightweight sleeping bag and tent by the same company.

Plans for the upcoming events are key. For me, making ' but I don't drink ' my immediate thought in response to an offer or temptation worked wonders!

I like the idea of a Happy Carer Day - there are so many to celebrate here. xx, NS

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle, your post made me think of something that crossed my mind this morning....as you may know, I have Crohns/colitis. I am heading to Chicago on Friday to work a trade show and one of my coworkers is a very heavy drinker (no doubt, one of us) for some reason, I was going over my explanation of why I dont drink in my head, my go-to excuse is that AL is one of about 5 things that cause my colitis to get out of control, I was going over the other things, like Vitamin D, peanuts, broccoli, and popcorn. Ive said this so many times that I sort of BELIEVE it! I’m sure AL didnt help my colitis, but I dont remember it ever causing it to be worse, but thats nobody else’s business. When I mention colitis, no one pushes me further. Now that I think about it, people dont seem to push me like they used to, maybe Im LESS sensitive to it.
I dont drink. I CANT drink. It really does aggravate a couple of conditions I have.....my marriage and my liver. :egad:
Happy Mother’s Day, all. Byrdie

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Cold and foggy and an awful drive to work but at 5.30am there is not much traffic which is great. I always aim to get to work safely but the weather has certainly thrown a few doozy mornings my way.

Happy mothers day to the upside down part of the world. i actually had the best mothers day with my mother in many a year. She was just lovely and adorable and it made for a very lovely day. Lets hope it continues on as it is.

Lav i hope you managed to avoid the storm that was headed your way and that you are safe.

G how are those travels going? you will come home with a bevy of women missing you by the sounds of it. So glad you are having a happy sober vacation.

Well today i am so excited that i will be getting my heating fixed or looked at and not fixed. Fixed is my positive thought for today, not fixed means a lot of stress and probably me being pretty p#ssed off and fighting to get something done that is not rocket science.

Byrd i used to think of all the excuses i could use to say why i dont drink but now i dont need to explain, i just dont drink, end of story. Like you, i cant drink and i value my life over a glass or 100 of al not to mention losing so very much. I hope your travels are safe for you and not too stressful.

well back to the salt mines i go.

take care x

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Mother's or Carers Day to all!!!

The storm left last night without causing any damage, grateful for that!
Still cloudy & a bit rainy all day but that's OK.

Everyone sounds good, strong in their commitments to keep the beast out of their lives
I saw a picture on Facebook today of some old friends on a 'booze cruise' & honestly, my first thought was ugh. Grateful to not feel the need to be pulled into a 'fun' day like that. I'm sure there will be some heavy heads tomorrow. It's not hard to feel grateful to be AF at this point, ha ha!!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings, Nesters!

Steady here, hoping to check back in on a more regular basis. This forum is a powerful place, a powerful tool we can use to improve our lives, whatever stage we're at in our relationship with al.

I might have clocked up five years' sobriety recently, but I still need to remember what my life was like prior to quitting al. By the 'End Days' I was a mess. Letting loved ones down, upsetting friends, missing days from work (and drinking when at work!), the list goes on. Close to losing it all, including my sanity.

Now I'm comfortable in my quit, but have had to rearrange my life and what's important to me. And in the past year or so I've struggled with the "What now?" thoughts. Yes I count my blessings and yes I'm grateful for the clarity and wellbeing sobriety brings, but sometimes it all gets to be a bit too - it's hard to find the words for it - a bit too 'samey.' Too 'ordinary', and I can't seem to get away from the banality of working days, visiting Mum in the nursing home, sharing meals and films with DH, catching up with friends. Whether it's painful (visiting Mum), stressful (work) or fun (hanging out with DH, friends), it can feel kind of static. Yes, that's the word - static!! This feeling reached its peak a few months back, and I knew I had to find something to shake me out of it, and fast......

Pleased to say I've found it! I've started working out, lifting weights, and it's amazing! Even when at the end of a working day I don't feel like going to the gym, I go anyway, and magic happens! After working out the blood's circulating, the endorphins are up, and I become a different person. Life feels dynamic again. DH even caught me admiring my newly-formed shoulder and bicep muscles in the mirror, just like a teenage boy! Ha ha! There's something empowering about feeling stronger physically, it's enhancing my self-esteem and my appreciation of life again. Woohoo! And it's so far removed from the drinking days that it reinforces my quit, big time.

Okay, I think I've probably made my point here! Hope Monday's okay for everyone. Looking forward to hearing how Mr G's going in South America. And, Ava, did you get your heater now? You are, as far as I know, the closest MWO member to me geographically speaking. And best wishes to all...

Steady

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

It IS funny how I used to worry about what I'd say if asked what I want to drink. There were a lot of theatrics involved at first as I felt I had to have a really good excuse that would get someone off my back, but wouldn't reveal my "secret." Now I just say "no thank you," and on my way. If someone presses I just say I don't drink. Really easy to say... I sometimes get a feeling that most people WISH they could say that.

I spent some time with my sister yesterday and she kept telling me how tired she was. She had gone to a "progressive" party the night before, and I said "when I am with hungover people, I am SO GRATEFUL that I don't drink any more." She spend the next 5 minutes explaining how she didn't drink THAT much and it was just that she went to bed late, blah, blah, blah. Funny the excuses people will make about drinking (as much as we did about not drinking...) Anyway - her SO is definitely one of us and he really was a wreck. So glad I don't drink...

Steady! Do you just go on your own, or do you have a trainer? My upper body is so weak - I've been thinking about the gym. So great that you're doing that...

Happy New Week everyone. Have great days...

xo
Pav