Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

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[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Wow, G. Beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing. Isn't dancing sober a great experience? I thought I would HATE it, but it actually feels better and more alive. Onya for doing the Samba sans alcohol.

Rose - Sorry you drank. What do you think of what LC said? What is the Interlock? Can someone come to you and visit - keep you company and hold your hand? Can you get some in-person help?

Byrdie - Endurance race at work! Hope today went better. Can you imagine that you used to do that type of stuff with alcohol in your system??

I'm painting one of our rooms. A lot of work. I used to be such a perfectionist that it would take me FOREVER. Now I just say "good enough" and move on. Definitely not a professional job, but I've painted so much that I'm pretty good at it at this point.

Happy Sober Sunday,
Pav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all, checking in from weekend away with daughter and gymnastics competition. she doesn't compete until later today, but we arrived Friday for 2 nights of R and R at a hotel...hoping things at home with husband and son stay drama free. Husband is probably wondering why we came 2 days early (hee hee) but I dare him to ask...

KENSHO, reading your post struck me the most. I always knew that "having it all" or "doing it all" is a myth and trying will just make us crazy. But when I hear criticism from the hubby, it just puts me through the roof. lately he has been better about keeping his big yap shut about things. however, he always seems to put the kid issues on me. i.e. "why doesn't son have/do etc.". I used to try to defend son, thinking if I didn't it would reflect poorly on me, but now I just say "idk, ask him". ugh. sometimes the husbands (who could really pitch in more) make mountains out of molehills. milk order? are you kidding me? I'm so sorry because it just feels sucky when they do that. I know what it is like to feel responsible for everything and everyone in the house. and have a career outside the home. fortunately now I only have a "job", and I call it a "fake job" at that. With my background and education I could be earning a lot more, but my part time fake job pays enough and gives me flexibility. for example, I won't be getting home till late tonight (after a long drive) and decided I am not going to work tomorrow.

Rose, perhaps go to the toolbox and see if you can find some ideas there to break you out of your funk. your sobriety is numero uno, so put everything else on the back burner and get rid of the vodka. gin was my poison of choice. I have to deal with it being in the house so hubby can have his occasional gin & tonics...but I just force myself not to go where it is stored (freezer in garage)...I have no reason to go there.

last night we had a team dinner and everyone was ordering martinis, margaritas and mojitos. I just went with my tonic water, no ice and a twist of lime. no explanations needed. when we returned to the hotel, a number of people were at the bar. I just adore one of my daughter's coaches, a guy around 25 years old (I'm old enough to be his mother). he was drinking jack Daniels and coke. and it was obvious he was hammered. when the others were going up to their hotel rooms, he stayed for "just one more". red flag. I know he has serious insomnia problems (and perhaps some anxiety issues) and I just wanted to tell him that drinking is not helping. I didn't know how to do that with all the others around, and other people joining the convo. he had to be up for a 7:30 competition, and will be coaching my daughter's competition later today. I can't get this out of my mind.

Mr G...love the photos. living vicariously through your trip.

gotta run out to Target to get some nail polish remover for daughter. why does she forget to bring that EVERY TIME she has a competition???

hang in there folks...weekend is almost over.

[Bogalis]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi there all. I'm definitely a newbie and this is my first post. I'm just sort of sifting through some of the posts atm.
I'm not sure of the protocol for seeking some advice/pointers on getting & staying sober, so any information would be extremely welcome. I suppose I'm here for the same reasons everyone is or was at some stage = help.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome, [MENTION=24186]Bogalis[/MENTION]! Reading back is the best way to learn who you're talking to. And posting is good for you and lets us get to know you. There are no rules so please feel to jump in, comment, ask questions, or whatever works for you. Getting up the guts to make the first post is a huge step towards the life you want and deserve!
:welcome:

[Bogalis]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the info NoSugar. I had just written a big post in the 'My Story' forum but it was deleted because I spent too long on it and the forum logged me out! Haha, nevermind trying to get my life together - I can't even work out how to post into a forum!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, again, [MENTION=24186]Bogalis[/MENTION]
When you sign in, there is a "stay signed in box" you can mark. That helps. Also, there is an autosave feature when you are working on a post. If you open that window again where you were typing when you got logged out, you might even find that your story is still there! That said, MWO overall isn't very active and posts often are missed unless they are in the busier threads like this. One that might be great for you has many people from the UK posting: https://www.mywayout.org/community/g...2018-a-33.html. But, everyone is welcome everywhere :smile:

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

You sound like you're figuring out how to deal with life as it is, @KENSHO. I love reading your posts. It's funny how the career/family thing looks now at almost 60 vs how it looked and felt in my 30s and 40s. It doesn't have to be a binary, zero-sum choice -- especially because you are self-employed. What you are emphasizing at any one time can change. If whatever decision you're making feels right and good, it's probably the way to go. If it comes with anxiety or anticipation of regrets, probably not. The decision you make today might be vastly different to one you made 5 years ago or will make 5 years from now and that's ok. Look how much different your relationship is with your kids now than it was in 2013. And it will be much different still in 2023. In many ways, you'll have fewer actual day to day responsibilities for them in the next few years. So maybe you'll be able to get the dang milk order right :belchha:l

If MWO is your main source of support, I wonder if you could make the commitment to spend some more time here.. reading and posting, really getting to know some of us? For myself, I'm at my best in my sobriety when I'm part of this active community.. sharing my problems, receiving advice, reaching out to others.. Sometimes I'm at the end of my rope and I come here and get it all out.. and by the time I'm finished typing, I already feel some relief. And then I usually get responses from others, who have been where I am.. or at least understand what I'm going through.. and this means SO much. There are people here with years of experience and wisdom to share.. but it's your (our) responsibility to take the first step in asking for help.. and then in learning how to be honest with ourselves. You CAN do this..:hug:

Yes she can - we all can! And I agree with you, LC. If MWO is your main source of support, you need to use it in the only way it can be used by reading and posting. Have you been using any other tools for these 60 days, @MsDinah? Congratulations on 2 months of freedom!!

@BelleGirl, You're sounding great, too. Are you feeling more secure like you did during your earlier long AF period? You sound like someone who has been sober a long time. I'm sure relapses are heartbreaking and we should do everything we can to avoid them but surely we don't just "lose" all we learned. That is sad about your daughter's coach. To already have this burden at 25 would be tough. And knowing this, there's no way he should ever be in charge of kids on his own. Addiction just limits our lives so much.

Thanks for the photos, @Guitarista. It is wonderful to hear how much you're enjoying and appreciating your sober adventure.

Love and thanks to @available, @Pavati, @Lavande, @Byrdlady, @wagmore, and others for posting here and showing everyone that there is nothing missing from a life just because you don't drink alcohol --- and so much to to gained! :heart: NS

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm here for a purpose. Sobriety. It's OK to speak your mind here. Gosh knows I do.

Rose

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

The interlock is a device that is installed on ones vehicle. I was triple the way one blows when I got stopped. It's been very helpful for me.

Rose

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

DONE! 2 days in that booth and Im beyond tired. I managed to get a tall chair from a neighbor booth and it was a lifesaver.
The next guy is coming in tonight, we are all going to dinner (our reservation is for 8:15. Last night I went to bed at 8:45, then woke up at 3:30. Spending two days in the midst of the bar area of a National Food show was an interesting twist. In the old days, Id have found EVERY excuse to go sneak some free booze. Most likely Id have been lit in the booth! Those werent the days.
I dont know what made me think of this today, but after 7+ years sober, there is not a doubt in my mind that I can have just one. I KNOW that never was possible and never will be. Just not in my DNA I guess. I saw thousands of people drinking these past two days....I could see some of my old habits in many of them....how? The gulp. I saw sippers and I saw gulpers....the ones that threw them back had lots of practice....I say that from experience. All Im know is that Im glad thats not me anymore.
Do whatever it takes to break free of this awful addiction. Not one, not ever! So far, so good!
Welcome aboard, Bogalis! There’s no wrong way to post, just jump in! We are so glad you’re here!
G (Samba-King). Keep rocking!
Hugs to all, Ill b home tomorrow night, cant wait! Byrdie

[MsDinah]

Re: Newbies Nest

NoSugar - The only other tool I have used the past 60 days is the Reddit stop drinking subforum. I go there every morning and do a daily check-in and read a few posts. Occasionally I’ll go to the Women for Sobriety website. That’s about it, and it seems to be enough. I am very firm in my commitment to not drink. There’s plenty of alcohol in the house because my SO drinks, but there’s no way in hell I’d even take a sip. I have no desire to. I love my new life too much!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

NoSugar - The only other tool I have used the past 60 days is the Reddit stop drinking subforum. I go there every morning and do a daily check-in and read a few posts. Occasionally I’ll go to the Women for Sobriety website. That’s about it, and it seems to be enough. I am very firm in my commitment to not drink. There’s plenty of alcohol in the house because my SO drinks, but there’s no way in hell I’d even take a sip. I have no desire to. I love my new life too much!

So glad you found what works for you! I don't know much about Reddit. Does the subforum operate similarly to MWO?

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sounds like a lot of folks have had busy weekends! I definitely have not but I am perfectly OK with that. I'm just grateful the rain stopped & the sun even made an appearance this afternoon after a whole week, geez.

G, awesome pics, thanks for posting them! I'm so happy you are enjoying your adventure

Hello & welcome Bogalis, glad you found us!
MWO saved me 9+ years ago & I'm still here spreading the joy. A strong commitment & a good working plan are vital to your success. Go visit the Tool box for tons of great ideas to help you put your plan together. Check in frequently, it rally helps

Dinah, CONGRATS on your 60 AF days, :welldone: And wonderful on the weight loss too! Keep up the great work!

LC, how nice your kids get a chance to travel & experience new cultures. They will really appreciate that when they get older too.

Rose, staying home can be a good thing. Work on your plan as well & be sure to get your triggers covered. That's how we meet our goals!

Hello to Belle, NS, Pav, kensho & everyone else checking in tonight!
Byrdie, I'm sure you will be grateful to get back home tomorrow!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[TribalRose]

Re: Newbies Nest

When all else fails I turn to honey nut cheerios. No milk.

Rose