Newbies Nest

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well made it to day 2. Watched that documentary last nite Byrdie. Very hard to watch. The one take away I got besides the overwhelming sense of loss from alcohol was Gremlins. People trying to blot out gremlins with alcohol. We all have them and I suppose some are worse than others. It seems as if I get stuck in a loop of thinking and all the negativity of life just keeps playing out in my mind. Life is always a challenge. Years of negativity catch up with you and you just want to escape and live. Alcohol is not a good choice. There are better choices I know but it is like a trap. I hate it but it seems to be my default way of dealing. Go for a period of time until you are worn to a frazzle and then escape into the land of booze. Well realizing this pattern may just help me to change it and accept things as they are. I thought life would be different and need to learn to accept reality for what it is. My life is not terrible & I need to understand that and appreciate all the good things I have. This is my life and I have choices. I will pray that I can begin to see the beauty in life instead of the constant loops of negativity going round and round in my head. ~ Best to everyone and have a great day~

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION], your life now without alcohol is very different than what it will be with sustained abstinence. You can't possibly know all the good things that will change for you once you quit for good, but trust me, life gets better and better. One day, you won't want to drown your disappointments with alcohol. I promise.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wow, some very powerful posts.
Sometimes, we just have to take a leap of faith and trust that what those that go before us is true.
I know my life is 1000 times better without AL than it ever was with it. It was scary to give up my crutch, but scarier to think what would happen if I didnt.
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION], your life now without alcohol is very different than what it will be with sustained abstinence. You can't possibly know all the good things that will change for you once you quit for good, but trust me, life gets better and better. One day, you won't want to drown your disappointments with alcohol. I promise.

Wow, I admire you!
I hate being abstinent because of the pain of childhood, and I hate my arrogant husband. But I do admire you!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome Slo, glad you decided to join us!
I could have written your exact words 10 years ago, honestly. I finally had enough alcohol & enough emotional pain that I took that giant leap into abstinence & I am forever grateful I did. We don't need to continue to dull the pain although we think that's what we have to do. Settle in the nest, make yourself a good plan & take that leap, you'll never be sorry.

TJ, hello & great to see you!
Coming up on your 5 year AF anniversary is awesome, yay for you

I'm glad to see everyone's positive posts, they make me smile
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well onto Day 3. Just another day at work. One thing I did achieve for myself back in January was to totally quit coffee. Never thought that would be possible in a million years for me. I quit cigarettes years ago and have had many stints of AF time. But this is a first in all my life. Never, never did I think it would happen. Heart rhythm problems were the motivation. I tried everything (including an ablation) and it turned out the caffeine had to go. Now my BP and heart are better than I can ever remember. So back to cycling and of course my favorite pastime of walking my pup in the park. I feel something moving me in the right direction. Hope it continues. Best to everyone ~ Hyper

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, thanks for the link Byrdie, I will watch that.
Nice to see you Hyper
Hyper, Rose, Something that helps me stay sober is reading posts in MWO, listening to AL documentaries, podcasts and reading AL articles and books. It helps remind me that I cannot drink. Posting here really helps because I feel accountable for my actions.
Life does get better without AL. It is hard to imagine but it really does. It was so hard for me to quit. I tried to quit literally hundreds of times. (Like everyone else here) When I finally quit I was on MWO, listening to The Bubble Hour podcast, going to counselling, excercising, meditating and anything else that would help. I did everything to help me quit drinking, it finally worked and it was worth it.

G- I am jealous!
Pav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Great posts all around.

Kensho, I reckon that's the $64,000 question - who am I without alcohol? Turns out I do like myself. Great post.

Those Rain in Your Heart documentaries are HARD to watch for sure. The one that got me was the mom who lost her children. She gave up alcohol for children. So sad, this addiction.

A friend of a good friend of mine just got picked up on his 3rd DUI. He was on probation and restriction because of his 2nd, but he did it anyway. He is an alcoholic. Kids, a wife, a house, and a good job. Now probably jail time. So very sad.

I am still having really bad personnel issues at my work - I don't know what causes people to behave like this. My adrenaline was surging all day yesterday, and I woke up today with a headache. Not healthy! I had to check in with my friends to remember that I'm not crazy. I'll make it! Not much longer until the main culprit is GONE!

OK, people. Stay sober out there!

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning check in here! Last day of school for the kids... beginning of crazy schedule for their mom
I am still very overwhelmed with what is currently on my plate, but I'm refusing to stay up late. And I slept better than ever last night. What good is it to stay up 4 hours one night, and be less productive the rest of the week? It actually does not solve the problem. I cracked my eyes fairly easily this morning - which is a feeling I haven't had in a long time. Thank goodness for sleep!!! Now - I have to be super productive today - before our "notorious" camping trip this weekend. TO be honest, I'm dying to get up into the woods. Good weather predicted and some healing from nature. Can't wait!

I was feeling so stressed last night that I was wanting an escape and alcohol crossed my mind more than once. I know this is the time of year it hits me more. I feel less curious than last year though (when I fell off the wagon for 7 months...). I know a drinking life is not for me. So I'm going to focus on feeling grateful, and enjoying the awesome sleep I usually get camping.

Hope everyone is enjoying their day.

G - still doing your salutations? Don't forget your basics!! So glad to hear you're having a great time

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

G - still doing your salutations? Don't forget your basics!! So glad to hear you're having a great time

You betcha pilgrim. Yes i am.

Great work on the sleep Kensho!

Hyper, top job on 3 days. You're on your way again friend!

Hang in there Pav! Yo Narilly!

Well my hopes for romance were dashed momentarily yesterday as my chile heartthrob texted me to suggest things have changed the last 2 days and maybe not worth me coming to see her. I was gutted initially, as i really like her and was looking forward to seeing her, and she me. Dunno what changed except to say on further exploration, she told me she was confused, didn't know, and us getting together was crazy because of the distance between our 2 countries. Ok, very fair point. I asked her if distance wasn't an issue would she want to try with me and see what happens. She said, of course! Sheesh! Then she ran hot and cold blah blah blah, i got stressed and pissed off, but kept that to myself. So i cancelled my ticket to chile. that was that! Then last night i couldn't sleep cause i was a little disturbed by the whole thing and rebooked a flight to chile. I messaged her and said i'm coming as planned, but i won't bother you and i'll find plenty to do. Of course i was hoping she would bother me while i was there. It is a long shot, but it is worth it to see if anything develops. We were so into each other when we spent 2 nights together 2 weeks ago, and the attraction is still mutual, i think it's worth a shot. So she's agreed on me visiting, set the terms, and sounded enthusiastic - friends only G man, and we'll hang together and have a good time. No romance though. I'm happy with that. She's something else. There's a good connection. She's even picking me up from the airport. No romance lady eh? We shall see!

Sorry for the waffle!

take care everyone.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

G man, matters of the heart are tricky. We’ll be thinking of you and wishing you good juju. You are a fine man,
Slo, I resented drinkers, I resented non drinkers. I really felt like the world generally sucked. I needed ALto forget my pain and to cope with life. What I didnt realize is that AL was a huge part of why I felt that way. Once I started working on ME, much of my resentment over my rotten childhood melted away. It was as if I could finally let that go and grow past it. I didnt want to be abstinant, either, but now I wouldnt trade it for all the alcohol in Vegas!
I hope you will stick with us and give yourself a fighting chance. Welcome aboard! Byrdie

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you, Lav & Byrd. It’s heartening that you actually like being abstinent from alcohol. I can’t imagine! On the other hand, it is a dangerous game, and annoying to be enslaved to the stuff. I need to get off this merry-go-round, and before something really bad happens. Day 1 is done...but it hardly counts as I’m still running on fumes.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Slo, getting thru day 1 IS a big deal, great job & keep going

G, go slow there buddy. Things are what they are & not always what we necessarily want. You keep your head high & your mind in the right place, good things are coming

Hyper, day 3 is a big deal because by now the AL is out of your system & you are free to work on the brand new you!

Hi there Narily, Pav, Kensho, Byrdie & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

On the other hand, it is a dangerous game, and annoying to be enslaved to the stuff. I need to get off this merry-go-round, and before something really bad happens. Day 1 is done...but it hardly counts as I’m still running on fumes.

Hi Slo. Great job on tackiling day 1 and taking back your precious life!

Drinking is a very dangerous game, even when we think we are safe in the confines of home. we can trip and hit our head, fall off a chair and hit our head, choke on our vomit when passed out. Then there's the outdoor environment which we have zero control over. Traffic, a convo with someone that is misunderstood resulting in other person pushing or punching us and falling hitting our head or breaking a wrist. Death by misadventure. All for that undeniably quick but short fix, after which we decend into the soulless void of oblivion, in and out of reality, fantasy and pain. And it gets worse, never better. That was my experience. Take it easy and go for it friend. You are worth it!

thanks Lav.

Last few days in Rio, then off to the Amazon jungle monday. Oh yeah! big waves to all.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

G - you wear that giant heart on your sleeve! That was brave to re-book that flight - I hope great things come of that trip, romantic or not. The Amazon jungle! Love it. Have you read The Lost City of Z? A GREAT book that I highly recommend.

Kensho - sleep is so key. Glad you're setting priorities.

Slo - Day 1 is a hard first step. It can take time, buy you'll get there - to a place where alcohol isn't your go-to coping mechanism. The key is to actively cultivate others. What else is on your list when that craving hits? Good ideas in the toolbox.

TFIF is what I say... What a week.

Pav