Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I hate that it took an ultimatum from my hubs to finally quit, but thatÂ’s what it took. I love my husband more than AL, but IÂ’d be lying if I said the choice was easy. Breaking the cycle of addiction is hard, but so worth it. There is NO life in AL.
Byrdie

Byrdie,
I remember when my SIL gave her husband an ultimatum between her or booze, and he chose the alcohol. I think she was shocked! Then he died an alcoholic-related death 9 years later at age 46.

Available, IÂ’m sorry for all your tears & pain & loss. ItÂ’s so hard. Your dog was well-loved.

IÂ’ve had to socialize all day after socializing all the long weekend as my friend & her son got here last night just after I got home from the airport. At least it was easy socializing as sheÂ’s a big talker. IÂ’m craving now, but it was good practice to go out to lunch and to sit on the deck visiting without drinking. I need a lot of practice to break those triggers & associations.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

Hot humid & actually a little sunny this afternoon ~ feels like summer!

G, I wouldn't even dip a toe in those waters dude, ha ha! I've been snorkeling in the Bahamas but that's about it, no desire to have any parts chewed off by fish or other aquatic monsters
I hope you continue to have a fascinating trip!

Slo, you're doing fine, little by little. It takes time to build that sober muscle & you will!

Hello to Pav, Kensho, Byrdie & everyone pooping in tonight.

Have a safe night in the nest one & all!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry for your loss Ava

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava,

Sorry I meant to say I am also sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to let go of our animals but it was the compassionate thing to do for her :hug:

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - I've been thinking of you all day. I am so sorry. :hug: :sad: :hug:

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Ava. Sending you comforting thoughts. Our pups are family members. You did so much for her; what a loved lady. :heartbeat:

So, I'm working. No surprise there. Friday and Monday off, and there's just not enough time. But I have a cut off and I'll keep it. I am very glad I'm not stuck bargaining with myself any more about whether to drink or not. And I get to sleep in a little with the kiddos not in school!! Yea!

Have a good night.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you all for the kind words about my post from a few days ago :heartbeat: To the Tool Box it shall go!

I woke up this morning with a clear sense that my life is so rich, full and busy that there's no room for al. Al tries to tell us that it enhances other things or that it can/should be added in to our lives regardless of ups and downs, but the reality is that once we let al in, it just spreads insidiously and takes more and more. It takes away our time, our health, our happiness, our relationships - so many other things.

This rich full busy life didn't happen overnight. It has taken almost 2 AF years to build, and it has taken some intention and effort. But some parts have unfolded on their own because I created and fiercely protected space for them to take root and grow.

If life is a garden, al is the weeds that look so pretty in certain light, but that slowly (or quickly) take over and kill all of the truly beautiful flowers, veggies, etc that are really beautiful and valuable. I'm gonna spend a few mins today checking for weedlings and pulling them before they set in. Then time for gratefully enjoying the full rich garden of the positives in my life.

Happy hump day/eve everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

So sorry, Ava, to you and your family. That is such a HARD decision. I was texting a friend who is making that decision just last night. Keep crying and hugging your kids.

Kensho - at least now the sleep you DO get is better and more healing.

Whoa, G. What an adventure?!

Byrdie - I sometimes forget the risk your husband (or any loved one) is taking when they give an ultimatum to an alcoholic. Like Slo's story, they never really know what the answer will be. Frequently the addict will choose the substance. I'm glad you didn't!

Happy SOBER Hump Day,
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

This pretty much sums it up, [MENTION=21027]wagmore[/MENTION]

I woke up this morning with a clear sense that my life is so rich, full and busy that there's no room for al.

When we did allow AL in, addiction was like a cancer, growing uncontrollably, crowding out and killing all the meaningful parts of life.

I felt pretty much ok this past weekend for the first time after about a month of the worst allergy/cold event in all of its possible manifestations and was so happy to actually have the initiative to do something. My illness, like addiction, robbed me of all the good stuff. I can't imagine volunteering for that again as "normal" life!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Geez NS, happy to hear you are finally feeling better!
I have no patience being a patient - if you know what I mean.

Wags, I get momentary feelings of almost euphoria knowing that I did the right thing for myself & everyone around me
Being a slave to AL was a horrible thing & I will never ever go there again!

Hello to Pav, Kensho, Nora, Byrdie & everyone!

Wishing for a peaceful & safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Being a slave to AL was a horrible thing & I will never ever go there again!

“Being a slave to alcohol” -I like that; it’s empowering: I’m choosing not to be a slave!

OMG this week has involved so much ice cream, Nutty Buddies, cookies, and sugary cans of carbonated juices or lemonades!
I’m puffy and my weight is up. But I didn’t drink anyways.
So glad the full moon is behind us now. I feel unstable & tired in the week or so leading up to it, and much more likely to have a bad binge. It should be smoother sailing ahead now.

No Sugar, I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. A month is a long time to feel like crap!

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Quick hello from Steady with a red nose - at least it's not from drinking al, it's from a horrible cold and cough.

I kinda quickly read back and gleaned that Ava has now got heating (hooray) but you lost your dog, sorry Ava.

Also a fantastic post from Wagmore in there, will reflect on it some more, it definitely resonates with me.

And Slo, just Keep Going - you're doing really well.

Back to hiding under my blankey, peace to all,
Steady
xo

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Thank you so much for your warm thoughts, today has been a better day but my other fur baby is very sad, she is 15 so feeling the loss greatly. Lots of love and attention for her at the moment.

the SO's aunt passed away yesterday so i think i am having the holiday from hell this week. She was very sick so a blessing for her to be at peace now.

Steady i hope you feel better soon. I remember when i was sick it gave me an excuse to drink, go figure that one! I must say i am pretty happy to have the heater going now though everytime it is on i think of the $$$ clicking over in electricity. The kids think i am nuts.

I have managed to do a lot of stress cleaning this week which is not a bad thing and yesterday and today were me days. There is a very big hole in my house and heart after losing rupey. For a shitzu she certainly had a big personality.

Oh lav, congrats on your new car, looks lovely i must say.

Glad you are feeling better NS and hope you are safe G.

Take care xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

May is both the longest month and the shortest month in the year for those of us in schools. It's almost over...

Running to many things. Happy Thursday.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy. Whew... made it through my meeting yesterday - glad I got my work done to show them. I have some personal development to do in the time management department. Always something to work on, huh?

We are in full swing of summer now - new schedules and endeavors. Dealing with my 12 yr. old son who is really smart, capable and twice the artist I will ever be - yet has quite the aversion to helping around the house. We are having to have some tough love about doing some very basic chores - and helping him overcome the notion that "if its not fun, I won't do it". He is indulgent, and I actually mentioned during our talk today that indulgent personalities are more easily addicted to things because they are always searching for that dopamine hit. Unfortunately, he often acts entitled and somewhat lazy and we are trying to motivate him to do his part. Ugh! Not fun.

Tomorrow I am taking the day off, however, to hang out with friends and see a concert - music that I really enjoy. It has been quite a party with these people in the past, but I feel excited to join the conversation and enjoy the music. (and not work!) We will stay the night there and get some grown up time, which I really need. I don't like the idea of the drunkenness that the boys will exhibit later in the night, but I have my good friend there who is an absolute rock of support to me with my decision not to drink.

Anyway, just plodding along. This parenting stuff is tough. I love this kid with all my heart - we wouldn't be good parents if we weren't addressing these issues with him - but it's not fun.

Have a good day.