Newbies Nest

[abcowboy]

Hang in there [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] and [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], and keep coming back! Maybe during the witching hour you could head for the Toolbox? It's right at the top of "Just Starting Out" or maybe download and go through this workbook Be Ready To Succeed | The Relapse Prevention Plan It's free and it just might help keep your mind on recovery rather than drinking.

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION]. I will keep coming back because I need to be accountable and do this for myself. I will check out the tool box tonight and work on staying busy and maybe changing up my routine. Bad habits are so easy to fall back into. I did not even think of drinking for so many years and now it’s all I can think of. The endless chatter will have to end with my decision to simply NOT DRINK. Thanks for your help.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

I can't over-emphasize what NoSugar said enough. Changing the conversation in my head was the key to finding the freedom that quitting drinking brings. The conversation was not should I drink or not. The conversation was "F&$K! I can't drink! What else can I do to ease this anxiety, boredom, fear?" If drinking isn't a choice (and it isn't - I can't drink and keep the life I want), then I HAVE to come up with alternatives. I know, not easy. But shifting that mindset made all the difference.

Rava - can you keep that alcohol out of your house? Leave your wallet behind so you can't stop at the store? Anything else you might change to set yourself up for success?

G - Welcome back. Seems a bit crappy of that woman to not flat out say "I have a boyfriend," instead of "things have changed." Then at least you would have had all the information you need to make a decision. Well, I'm glad you went for it anyway - no thoughts of "what if..." What an adventure you've had. Jealous of the travel...

Byrdie - I'm worried about you! Is there relief in sight from all of the work crap? Can you take a little time off, or at least get back to reasonable hours?? Remember to take care of yourself.

Hiya, Nar.

I'm off to live music tonight. We got these tickets a LONG time ago when I forgot how hard it is to go out in the middle of the week. I will have a great time, and the good news is that while I might be tired tomorrow, I won't be hungover. Hooray!

Happy SOBER Hump Day.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, this job is nuts, I have never worked so hard. Monday, Im heading to Dallas for another god-forsaken tradeshow. Ill be gone til Thursday. I was trying to get all my stuff done today and the guy Im depending on has gone to help a friend build a deck and wont be back til Friday. Maddening. This job is like those frustrating dreams, like when you walk in to a French 4 class for the final and you’ve been going to Spanish class.
Nar, Im hoping to do something the end of this year, retiring is scary. The thought of no income stinks, but the thought of this job for another year stinks worse.
Grateful to be sober. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Byrdie - bake!!!!
Put a sign up, an ad in the paper, talk to caterers, etc. You have a wonderful skill & people would be happy to get your cakes & cookies, yum
A job like yours just sucks your soul right out. Who needs that?

Slo & Rava, I remember the witching hour drama too well. Changing up habits & routines is a big help. I actually latched on to green tea & chai spice tea of all things. I ended up mixing them together (both decaf) & drank them all day & evening long, hot or cold & still do! That tea mixture is My drink!!! Getting a solid week AF under your belt makes you feel strong & capable

Pav, enjoy the midweek music!

Hello to Cowboy & Narilly & everyone else.

It was a nice day here with no rain, yay!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

If I donÂ’t get my shit together I will lose everything.

Rava, why do you think you will lose everything? Because of consequences from blacking out?

Narilly, thanks for your good ideas for the witching hours. I need to stay vigilant about that time of day. I set my phone alarm for 2pm today and took l-glutamine at that time -bought some yesterday. Still finding the need to rely on ice cream and chocolate peanut butter bars.

Rava, maybe eat something like that before you leave work (ice cream, candy bar) to get you through the trip home.

ABCowboy, thanks for the booklet! I downloaded it.

IÂ’m benefiting from a quiet week this week.

Byrdie, sorry that you have yet another trade show, and canÂ’t even get prepped.

IÂ’m grateful that I no longer drink so I wonÂ’t have to feel so tired out after a binge.

P..S.- Why do I get these weird A’s in my posts?

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

You are welcome Slo! I am not sure about the A thing...
Keep on it everyone, you will get there. It takes persistence not perfection, right Rava?

Hi ya Pav x
Byrdie, I am still unemployed and hope to get a job I like when I go back.

Hey Cowboy, you are kickin butt!

Hello Lav, G, Ava, Life,NS and everyone else.

Don’t drink today.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

I've been SO tired these past couple of days.. was in bed last night at 930 (after having slept on the couch for an hour!) and didn't budge till my alarm went off at 6.. guess I need sleep!

Yeah, the witching hour sucks in the beginning. Switching it up helped me the most.. changing my routine, walking a different way home, always having something to eat/drink on hand, going to the gym during that time!, making sure I didn't (still don't!) have any alcohol in the house and locking myself in, watching a good movie, having a bath, reading about addiction here/watching on youtube ... I also watched youtube docs on other addictions.. food addiction, meth/heroin addiction, etc. Those helped me to see/understand the brain connection more clearly..
Like was mentioned before, this is about persistance rather than perfection! BUT it does get so much easier once we get off the roller coaster drinking alcohol brings into our lives by letting it go completely.. Once we look closely at what's going on below the surface.. why are we deciding to drink, even when we know we don't want to? And what can we do instead to fulfill that place within ourselves? For me that was big because I was great at convincing myself that I was having a drink for a good time, or because I wanted to relax a bit, or I wanted something refreshing.. I could easily make it sound so harmless, each and every mid-day, even after I'd promised myself that morning that I wouldn't.. the truth is that sort of drinking stopped ages ago.. I was using it to numb myself for a variety of reasons, to escape. And I couldn't control it AT ALL anymore. It helped me tremendously to finally really admit and accept that truth.. to honestly and from my heart become grateful that I never HAVE to drink again. I never have to go back to the hell that drinking alcohol had become for me.. As long as I don't drink I'm ok... We all are!

Byrdie, strength to you! I love Lav's baking idea... that's one to give some serious thought to.:hug:

Hi to all the lovely birds flying/stopping by today.. Thursday! I'm sure looking forward to tomorrow afternoon!xx

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] I feel like I would lose my husband and family if I circle the drain. I had a sober day yesterday and keep using the mantra “I don’t drink” I am also going back to my AVRT techniques from Rational Recovery. Hope you are doing well. I plan on staying on this website for friendship and support.

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Narilly. Yes it takes persistence. I know I can do this. It’s a matter of getting my mind in the right place. Right now I feel good . I want to keep this up through the weekend and beyond of course! We have a House full of company and I am determined not to be sneaking and guzzling drinks! It would be mortifying to be caught! Drinking is getting me depressed and full of shame. I want to end that cycle right now. Being sober for many years reminds me of how good it feels to wake up feeling refreshed and not hung over.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

It’s a matter of getting my mind in the right place.

It's hard to believe, Rava, but this really is the solution for anyone who quits without the use of medication. And even antabuse primarily works in this manner - the fear of the reaction is a strong deterrent! Most people don't even run the experiment to prove to themselves what horrors drinking on AB causes.

What we each have to figure out is how to change our thinking. Fortunately, the nest and the toolbox are full of good ideas for doing just that. Anything that changes our brain is by definition a learning process. And just as we learned to depend on alcohol as we became addicted, we can learn other ways to live.

My main tools were to constantly notice how every little thing in my life was better because I hadn't drank (drunk??) the night before and be grateful, and to read and post here consistently. In my early days, the system kept track of average daily posts and I was usually around 7! The process of organizing my thoughts well enough to share them here and posting them publicly (albeit anonymously to most people) did "change my brain". I also felt compelled to follow my own advice that I had offered to others. NoSugar developed enough of an ego to not want to be a hypocrite. I also let a few people know the "real" me. They provided support when MWO was unavailable and it was an extra level of security to know that I couldn't simply stop posting here, disappear, and drift back into the life of addiction that I knew I wanted to leave. I had let myself down so often, I needed these relations with fellow travelers who understood my situation without judgement to support me until I learned to trust and love myself again. I may not need the support of this site and sober friends anymore but why take that chance when I enjoy the interaction, value the reminders of where I was, think giving back is important, and love and appreciate my long-distance friends.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

A good dose of live music was just what the dr. ordered - I can make it through the week with the energy I got! Now if I can make it through the day on too little sleep...

Take care of yourselves!

Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, you party animal, lol. Live music is great, I agree

NS, that was a great post, as usual! Coming here really helps me to reinforce the need to stay sober. Sometimes I find my mind wandering and thinking "I probably could have just one". This site and the friends I have made here have helped me SO much.

Anyway, I am just checking in. It is a beautiful day here +24C and sunny. I am grateful for the nice weather, we deserve it after the crap winter we had!

Have a great day.
xo

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

This is the witching hour and I have spent it by taking a walk. Changing up my routine right now. No cravings at the moment. Not gonna cave !!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Grateful for another sunny, no rain day today, yay!

Rava, good job on the walk. That's exactly the thing I did the first few weeks to help get my thinking going in the ight direction

NS, I feel exactly the same. MWO was good to me when I had absolutely no one to lean on in real life. I have made so many wonderful friends here over the years & the thought of paying back is always on my mind

Narilly, glad you have the nice weather as well. It's much cooler here than usual for June but I'm OK with that.

LC, do you have allergies? I find myself to have daytime drowsiness during allergy season & I don't even take any meds for allergies. Then again, I am getting pretty old, ha ha!

Pav, enjoy your energy & if you can spare some.......

Slo, l-glutamine worked great for me to help get aways from the post quit sugar cravings. I never craved sugar when I was consuming huge amounts of wine, go figure.

Hello to Byrdie & G, hope you are OK.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav