Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

I just got back from watching my youngest train for 3 hours with a frisbee team.. she inspires me so. She began to crochet frisbees last year after making one for her Uncle, who plays disc golf, for a Christmas present.. she liked it so much that she decided to have it as a theme for an 8th grade project she has to do next year.. her Dad found a team that plays every Tuesday evening at a sports field around the corner from us, where the mixed team trains men and women separately.. these amazing women, all in their 20's, have taken her in as a part of their team, under their wings, and it's beautiful to watch. I'm so proud of her for being so brave and strong and so happy that she's having such a great team sport/mentor/strong women experience. :happy2:

Otherwise, it's been pedal to the metal here with work!

Rava, it's good to see you here! Just please don't give up.. I related a lot to what you wrote about it seeming much easier when you were younger to find the strength.. I think it's probably (was for me) very important not to compare the past with now, but to find acceptance with the situation as it is in this moment. You know this, I know. I wanted to ask how you quit when you quit for 8 years (excuse me if you already told this story.. i may have missed it).. what was the impetus? and did you have a plan? You can do it again.. but you may have to make some changes in the way you're going at it, I guess..? We are all here for you!

Byrdie, I hope you're feeling better soon/that you don't get too sick.. big hugs.
Kensho, I'm so happy to hear you have vacation plans.. they will all live without you for a bit of time. I was thinking today that I wish you were in Germany.. here, everyone sticks together so that when it's Summertime (or any other holiday, for that matter) "normal" work basically stops. Shuts down. And if you want to get something done, that is SO important, you can pay triple. Everyone needs/deserves some down time! I hope you'll find some good solutions with your clients so that you can really rest your creative mind!

Big hugs to everyone flying/stopping by tonight. I'm beat and going to bed..xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Beautiful stuff with your youngest LC.

Hi Rava. Keep it going friend. Most of us gain our inner strength back and much greater clarity of mind with the more sober time we have. This might be obvious, but i for one can never hear it enough.

Byrdy, how are you going there? Geez you are working hard! I hope you get some time for yourself to just be, relax, and recharge. Don't forget to smell them roses. I think your work ethic, passion for life, and brilliance is wasted there.

It's cold outside, but warm in my little ol' wandering philandering gypsy heart. Go git it!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Still way too hot outside but just a tad bit better than yesterday

Kensho, it would be wonderful if you can find someone to help you organize your time. Of course it's always nice if other members of your household would pitch in & help. I know from experience that's much easier said than done.
My chickens are enjoying their cooled or even frozen treats. Anything to help them cool down at this point. They have few ways of ridding themselves of excess body heat though they do enjoy digging holes in their fenced yard to just sit in & feel the coolness of the dirt, ha ha!

LC, that's so great that your daughter has been invited to play with the older women's team. What a great experience for her!

Hi there Rava & G - good to see you both today

Byrdie, I hope you are home or in the way home by now, hugs to you :hug:

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Realized it has been a while since I checked in. Feeling down, very down, but don't feel like drinking, though sometimes a bolt of "maybe I should just drink" hits me but I have been easily dismissing knowing with all the stuff going on in life, that is the last wrench I want to throw into it.

It is killing me that now son is saying he wants to take a "gap year" before heading off to college. idk what is going on with him. Is he scared? Does it have anything to do with his girlfriend and friends who will be staying around here to go to college? If he really wants to take a gap year, there has to be a good reason why and a plan as to what he wants to do. Not hearing much of either.

Heading off to the beach for a few days next week. Me, the kids, brother & sister in law and nieces. Hubby snores so much I have to get him a separate room and I think he resents that so he may not go. He has had a referral for a sleep study for 3 years now and does nothing about it. NOBODY can sleep when he is sawing wood in a room. Earplugs don't help.

everything just seems to suck right now. A trampoline assembly went bad and amazon has to come up with a way to fix it while poor daughter sits in the house waiting to use it. Sorry for all the rants...I can't see anything positive right now. Waking up in the morning is the worst part of the day.

But I'm not drinking!!! 109 days and counting!!!
I need to read back and catch up. Hope you all are doing well.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I appreciate the warm well wishes. The sore throat is gone, but the runny nose has begun in ernest. Blech.
Mind-numbing meeting with the IT group this morning, 4 and a half hour drive back. Im beat.
Sober hugs to all, Byrdie

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION] - hang in there :love:

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] for the kind words of encouragement. I am struggling but keep coming back to stay connected. The first time I quit I followed Rational Recovery. It spoke to me and I used the Addictive Voice Recognition Technique to stay focused. It made so much sense to me then. I am struggling with that theory now. So I keep trying and one day it will stick again. Hang in there [MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION]. Sounds like things are a bit rough right now.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hang in there BELLE & RAVA! Drinking will only take you back to the very same place that brought you here to begin with. Now may feel hard, but we can’t consider drinking one of the solution for solving that. Hang in there - we have to really soul search and figure out what’s making now hard and try other solutions! Rava, quitting is hard for anyone who is addicted - don’t downplay that it just plain sucks - at any age. You can do it - because soon it won’t be as hard! What caused you to go back to drinking after your previous sobriety, if you don’t mind me asking? I know you can do this. ((Hugs)) to you and Belle.

BYRDIE, you sure sound beyond tapped. A little like me! I sure hope you (and I) find some quality down time. Do you have spare time to recreate or do hobbies? You used to share more about your crafts and walking.

LC! I can read the pride in your words! I love that your daughter is into such a positive thing. It’s incredibly exciting when our kids find something they feel passion for and throw themselves at it! How fun!! You sound good friend. I have family in Germany - planning to visit possibly next summer in Munich. If you are near - pm me and we will meet up! I would LOVE to put some faces to names here - you all have become dear to me.

SO about deterrence - I HAD A DRINKING DREAM! Ahhhhhh! It was awful. I was in a new city and my friend was very busy, so I wandered and decided to just have a little because I was feeling lonely. Then I decided to get a different type of booze and head home so I could just get drunk. I wondered if that was a good idea since I would be hungover the next day (which I always tried to avoid as much as possible). YUCK! The thing is that I’ve changed. Now, if in a new city and lonely, I would relish the personal time and either go cave up and take a bath or watch a movie, or go talk to new people and socialize. Drinking is not me any more. What a vivid reminder of the shell of a person I was when a drinker. AND that I did, truly, really, honestly have a problem. No more!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rava,i loved Rational Recovery! Time to dig out my books,I kinda forgot I had them

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] It made so much sense to me. I simply stopped drinking. I thought at the time that AA was the ONLY way and that I would have to make amends to everyone and say that I was a drunk, etc etc. I love the way Jack Trimpy makes you still feel like a rational person and makes you feel like you have the power to change without demeaning yourself to others. I need to read it again as well. My beast is putting up one hell of a fight. I must go back to AVRT!!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Waiting for some Thunder storms to get here, hopefully they will cool things off a bit. The chickens are nearing the end of their watermelon so I guess I need to go buy another

Rava, Pauly & anyone else struggling - if you have had good experience with RR then by all means get back to their plan. I really don't know much about it myself but it sounds like it makes good sense.

Belle, the bad times always seem to come in clusters. I like to look at things a little differently these days. Try to work on getting your son to write out a detailed plan for his gap year. Maybe he does need a little extra time before diving into the college scene. He'll have to work or volunteer somewhere so ask about that. Sitting home all day eating out of the fridge & asking parents for spending money is not an option (never was with my kids). Maybe he could take a couple of courses at a local community college. It never hurts to have credits to transfer. The trampoline will get fixed, don't focus on that. Enjoy your trip to the beach next week, sounds nice. My husband has the same snoring problem, the sleep study suggested he should lose a little weight. He never bothered so he's been sleeping on his own for nearly 20 years, ha ha!! I just couldn't stand all that noise.

Kensho, drinking dreams are little gifts from the universe, I swear. They always reminded me to be grateful & protective of my quit

Byrdie, poor thing. Feel better soon & get home safely!

Hi there Nora & everyone. Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, Im really not doing anything besides working. Ive had those two trade shows, it seems that Ive either been working like crazy to prepare to be gone for the shows, then trying to recover from being gone. I keep saying that if I am finally able to catch up, then I will be able to coast a little. My nephews wedding is next month, Im taking a couple days off for that. NS is right, this is a soul sucking job.
You will never believe this, I, too, had a drinking dream last night. It scared the white off my teeth. I had moved to a new house (smaller) and everything was disorganized. I was standing at the sink washing a small Ball canning jar. The next thing I knew, I was at the refrigerator filling it up with wine (from the box, like I used to do). I gulped it down and immediately wanted more. I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell everyone, and I justified it by saying, so what, Ive been drinking all along anyway....thank god I woke up and took an immediate inventory. No, I havent had a single drop of AL in 7 years, and YES, my quit is still in tact. Three things alarming about that dream, the speed at which I went from the idea of having a drink to actually doing it. Secondly, the speed at which I drank the jar of wine....just like an alkie. And thirdly, I immediately wanted more. So, needless to say, the alcoholism hasnt been cured in any way. I am so thankful that I stuck thru this thing, even thru the really hard times, because now it has become an easier lifestyle. It is 1000 times easier to to be sober than to live the lie of alcoholism. Whatever it takes, hang in there. I promise its worth it. I never want to go back to that awful way of dying.
Hugs to all! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I'm back on the grid. I TRULY enjoyed being in the mountains, fresh air, etc., and five whole days with no work, not even emails. I can't tell you how long it has been since I've been that long without checking in with work. A true re-set. It was wild flower season, and SO BEAUTIFUL. Plus I was with amazing friends. What a great extended weekend!

Belle - oy, parenting teens is not easy. I'm sorry you're having a down time. My son took a gap year and it turned out to be the best thing. He got two jobs and re-thought what he wanted to do in college. We decided not to charge him rent, but he paid for everything else, as we said we'd pay for things while in college, but not if he wasn't in school. He totally shifted, applied to different schools, and is really ready to head off in the fall. I totally understand your fear, however, that he is staying in town for the girlfriend. That would not be good. Maybe tell him if he stays back you'll charge him room and board? That might be discouraging? Or go visit the campus so he can see what he'd be missing? Sorry things are not good. But at least you don't drink!

Byrdie - so sorry you're mired in that blechy too-much job. I do hope you have a plan to extricate yourself soon! What a scary dream. It seems a lot of relapse stories are like that - "all of a sudden I was drinking a glass of wine." Let's not forget the steps that get you there - too much stress, not taking care of yourself, etc. I know you know, but I'm glad you're solid in your quit through this job of yours.

Rava - quitting is simple, but not easy. Why did you drink? What were the circumstances? What will be different next time? Everyone has heard me say this a thousand times here, but the trick for me was taking the choice of alcohol off the table. I knew I couldn't drink and have the life I want with my husband, kids and job, so I knew I couldn't drink. Period. No maybes about it. Once I had made that decision, all other choices were about what to do without alcohol. How would I deal with stress? Have fun? Socialize? Relax? It all came down to 100% focus on figuring that all out. It was a "selfish" few months where I did what I needed to do to stay sober first and foremost. Everything else was secondary. I re-learned how to do all of those things sober because I don't drink. Period. I didn't have to make that choice every day - am I going to drink today or not? I started every day with the premise that I don't drink, and set up things from there. You will get there - don't give up on yourself.

Ok - back to reality. I've plugged back in and now it seems I'll have to do something about it.

Hi to all I didn't mention. Hope your fur, feather, and flesh babies are doing well. Take care of yourselves, and don't drink no matter what.

xo
Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just back from an impromptu few days off the grid, and needing to read back and catch up with everyone here in the nest. Happy almost-Friday to you all!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, just checking in.

Have a great day!