Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great post Wags.

Yeah, my hubby was hungover but was laughing about it. He does not feel the remorse I used to feel. He does have a bit of an issue with control sometimes but he rarely drinks and does not get drunk too often- say once a year or so.
Wow, your neighbour sounds wacko! Good on you to leave and go camping, that sounds way better. Montana is beautiful, we are just North of Montana.

Rava, Belle, Byrdie, your posts really help to reinforce my sobriety. I still have thoughts of drinking once in awhile. Thinking I can have just one glass of cold white wine or a sip of whatever AL beverage people are drinking.
Belle, your story scares the sh.. out of me, I can so see that happening. So scary.

Canada Day and then Stampede are coming soon and I have to brace myself for that.
Thank you for being here everyone and helpin to keep us all accountable.

“I DO NOT DRINK!” Ffs (for f... sakes). Go away AL brain!

Do not drink today peeps.
Xo

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Frances, as long as you are here that is all that matters. i can say that my life is 1000 times better without al in it and i still sometimes shake my head in awe that i am years and years sober but i know that if i wasnt accountable to MWO the chances of me reaching for the bottle would be far greater. I dont do stress well and i realise that now and its a huge trigger for me but i have all of my tools with me to deal with what life throws at me.

Belle a great reminder to us all that we are all half a shot away from re-starting our al brain and us alkies cant have that ONE drink.

Nar, i am so lucky that my SO doesnt drink and i still think its weird! he will have 1/2 a can of beer and put it in the fridge for later and i end up throwing it out after a week or so. i had to fight to be sober and his comes naturally. goes to show we are all wired differently.

Rava, great post, i really do think we need to 100% commit to ourselves to be sober. i waffled around here for ages (years) thinking i wasnt that bad, i could control it, the oldies had it easy so what did they know. it was when i truly listened to them and left my ego at the door and learnt gratitude and finding a positive each and every day that i became sober. some days its still hard to find a positive but waking up sober is the one i am grateful for each and every day.

Enjoy that holiday Wags, i remember my rupey was petrified of fireworks, she would have crawled in me if she could have, its awful for our fur babies.

Well i had better get back to the salt mines, i have to take my 15 year old fur baby to the vets today, a major reason my anxiety is through the roof, i dont know how i will deal if anything happens to her after losing my other baby but realistically she has liver cancer and congestive heart failure and is old. it sucks being an adult some days.

take care xx

where are you G?

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday evening Nesters,

One of the things I like about being retired is no Sunday evening anxiety about what's to come at work in the morning, ha ha. I had lunch out with my former work friends today, we are all grateful to be out of that rat race but we survived. Getting older though is not all that easy though. One of the reasons I quit drinking & smoking at nearly the same time was to give myself a chance to enjoy these years of retirement in a healthy way. Of course my grandkids are still my primary reason for remaining AF - I do it for all of us

Frances, I had many, many semi-quits before finding MWO. I realized though that if I really wanted to maintain my quit I would need some sort of support & I found it here. Our brains tell us that we can control AL but in truth we cannot. I haven't lost a darn thing or felt deprived in any way. I have regained my health. my confidence in myself & most importantly my soul. So I remain AF & grateful! You can do it too, stick with us!

Rava, feeling good on a Monday morning is a bonus! Keep going, you'll have no regrets!

Byrdie, I still remember you hanging on to my tail feathers but I'm glad you did because it worked, right?

Belle, that 'voice' will go away the longer you are AF. I don't even hear it anymore, thank goodness.

Wags, I used to live in a neighborhood like yours with the over the top neighbors & fireworks What a waste of time & money, ridiculous. I hope you enjoy your getaway, sounds nice

Narilly, my husband has had a few episodes of ugly drunken behavior over the years but not many. He rarely even touches a beer anymore, he knows he can't handle it, ha ha. Grateful we don't drink, right??

Ava, I hope everything is OK with your dog, sigh. Mine has had a ton of labwork recently & is still on three meds but she seems to be doing OK. I have to have her in to the vet by 8 am Wednesday for a dental cleaning of all things. I agree with you about always being the adult, it's hard sometimes. Hang in there.

Well, my injured chicken is still alive, drinking water when I put her beak in it but she's not eating yet, I don't know if she's going to pull thru & I still can't figure out who or what attacked her.
On that note I'll wish everyone a safe night in the nest! Check in Mr G!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, I hope your chicken gets better, poor thing. Yeah, my hubby can’t handle drinking, I am sure he will eventually just quit.

Ava, you’ve got your hands full with your dog. I hope the vet visit goes ok. Yeah, your lucky your man doesn’t drink, it sure makes things easier.
I am so grateful that we don’t drink!

Hello G

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Frances!! Glad you are here!

NS, loved the row "your" boat thing... go with the flow. Struggle needn't be so prominent in my life!

I'm up late working, but feeling ok - vacation is coming up next week to NYC! Not drinking, and I'm not considering it. Thanks for the quality posts from everyone! I'll read back soon! Hello to all!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday morning nesters. So good to be here. It feels warm and comfortable. Learning your stories is helpful. It seems like we all have our horror stories with alcohol and thats what brings us together. I wish I could drink like my husband which is one small beer once in a while. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? I consider him a non drinker. When I started back up again. I would throw back several and then sit and nurse ONE with him. What a joke. Then when he got up to go to the bathroom , i would quickly fill it and guzzle it down before he noticed. Then by the time I watched TV before bedtime, I was watching TV with one eye closed to keep from seeing doubles. OMG. How can I think that was normal. This place is a good place to vent and feel safe. Thanks to all my new friends for supporting me. I am learning more every day.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Narilly, I've had those thoughts more recently, too, and like you, those relapse stories scare the crap out of me. I know it is just summer, and all I have to do is play the thoughts out to the logical ending. When I see someone buzzed or hungover I am SO grateful it isn't me! Anyway, I know we won't drink, because we don't drink! My husband sounds like yours (although maybe mine drinks more). When he drinks too much there is zero remorse or guilt - he just thinks it is funny. You are patient to take care of him.

Ava! Sorry for your pup. Adulting IS hard, isn't it?

Lav - aah, that Sunday anxiety about work... I do look forward to getting rid of that. I hope your Stella heals. Weird that you can't figure it out...

Wags - that sounds like a perfect vacation. I love the mountains and a mountain cabin! I love Yellowstone and the Tetons! Have fun.

Kensho - I love NYC, too. That sounds like a blast, and is definitely on my vacation bucket list. For now, though, my vacations have to be CHEAP as we are trying to figure out how to pay for college. I have sticker shock about that...

Ok, nest. Off to work. We miss you, G! Hope all is good.

xo
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rava, I was exactly the same way. I had a token drink in front of me that I nursed all night (a show for hubs) but when he left the room or I went to the bathroom I had stashes that I would hit hard. I thought I was fooling him, but the joke was on me, always was. Yes, the ole 'top off'. You are so right, I knew that wasn't normal but thought I would address it 'one day'. Finally, I had to say 'One day or Day One?' I made the right decision. Hugs to you and the nest! Byrdie

[frances]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all - well, the first three days went so well I thought this was gonna be easy - until today (day 4) and it's been hard. I keep seeing myself with a glass of wine. Ugh. I will get some tea and find something else to do.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

France, distraction was a seriously important tool for me. Distract yourself with anything just to get your mind off of a drink. It works & I am here to prove it, haha!!

Hello to Byrdie, Narilly Pav, Kensho, Rava & everyone. G, where are you fella???

My young chicken is still alive & I have seen her standing on her own two feet, moving about the cardboard box a bit. Her bare neck seems to be just a little stronger too which is good news. I just wish I could get some actual food into her. Never, ever in my life did I think I would be nursing injured poultry but here I am, LOL. I'm just grateful to be well enough to handle these things with a clear head

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Wednesday Morning. [MENTION=7263]frances[/MENTION], hang in there. I am on day 6 and this might seem stupid but i found some drops called Sobrenix which is a strong vitamin based tincture. I found on Amazon after searching my local walmart with no luck. Anyway, I put a dropperful under my tongue at the start of the witching hour and it has stopped the strong cravings. I really dont know if it works or I just need to to work so bad. You get to the point that you will try just about anything. Anyway, I carry it in my purse and take some after work. So far so good! Check into it if you have time. Lavande, hope your little chicken gets better every day. Wishing everyone a good and sober wednesday.

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello nesters,
It's been awhile since I checked in. I've had a couple of al thoughts cross my mind as we slip into summer. I realized lately that I get antsy around the old witching hour but I'm not thinking about alcohol at that time I'm just kind of crabby, I wonder if that is a paws type of reaction? Maybe my brain is still not completely rewired. I came across an old calendar book from 2013. It has all sorts of logs and references to how many glasses of wine I had, how much I weighed, how I felt the next day, if I worked out. I used it to track my drinking and then my recovery from drinking. One big alcohol log. Omg, so much work just trying to control or justify my drinking. I keep it as a reminder of how miserable I was and what a hamster wheel I was on. Yuck.
Thanks for reading, I'm sorry for not logging more and supporting others. I will try to be more consistent and supportive.
Have a great day.
Roobs

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Nest:

Good to hear from you Roobs. I don't think you need to be sorry - just do what you need to do for yourself. I think if MWO starts making people feel guilty because they didn't comment on everyone's post or don't reply often enough, it isn't serving its purpose. As my son (and popular culture) would say, you do you. I don't know how many days/weeks/months you have been sober, but I got very antsy for a while in my first year. I was perplexed and though ALL THE TIME "really? This is it? I'm sober for the rest of my life? Why me?" etc. The Lavitude of Gratitude really helped for that phase - I REALLY concentrated on what benefits I was getting from quitting when those negative thoughts came in. I also had a calendar/journal and I seemed to use the word fear a lot. I hate conjuring those feelings back up, but I also am glad that I have a good, healthy fear of being back in that state that keeps me from experimenting with "just one for summer..."

Off to work. Things are slow this week which is good in that I can catch up, but I guess I should be careful what I ask for - the days definitely drag a bit when no one else is around...

Happy SOBER Hump Day!
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! 199 days AF today! My mama robin seems to be willing to coexist with me and my watering can - our flowers are still alive and she is keeping her eggs warm too.

RAVA, those memories of sneaking sips, being sloshed late at night, and particularly trying to hide it keep me away from the beast. The longer I don't drink, the more I see that my behavior was AWFUL. Not a way to live - always with an ulterior motive in mind (i.e. sneaking alcohol), pretending to be focused on other things in life, but stuck in my head - wrestling with wanting alcohol and feeling sick from it. Sometimes I miss the way I romanticized alcohol - i.e. the first 2 minutes of having it - but I've come to see that that is all BS and the havoc that ensues is not worth the moments of fake security I thought I had. Real life is better. But I had to try to keep alcohol in my life enough times to see the truth - it will never be a healthy, happy thing for me. Once I truly realized that, it was easy to let it go.

LAV, your chicken rehab reminds me of a show my kids and I watch - Dr.K's exotic pet Vet - or something like that. She's a vet in Miami that sees all kinds of unusual pets. They have had several chickens on the show - and a few prairie dogs, raccoons, lots of pigs, iguanas, etc. They are creatures with a spirit - I sometimes prefer the animals to people! HA!

Ive had some sort of belly pain lately - not sure if its a virus or a food sensitivity or what... has anyone here had gallbladder problems? I just wish someone could give me my "formula" of what I should eat and I would just do that. I adjust here and there and new problems pop up. It's frustrating!

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good day. I'm feeling particularly grateful for the people in my life right now - and life in general. Nothing is perfect, but there is so much to appreciate and be thankful for in my world. Strength and good vibes to you all!

G?

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, good on the 199 days, way to go!
Yeah, take care of yourself, if your belly hurts more maybe get to the doctor...

Pav, you are right, We don’t drink! Last night I was sitting with my neighbours and the subject of me falling down the stairs when I was drunk came up. Ugh... I told them that I would write a murder mystery about all these people who mysteriously died and the only thing that linked them together was being at my place the night I fell down the stairs. They suspiciously all had Weiner dog bites on their ankles (I have a weiner dog)
This way I would never hear the story of me falling down the stairs again. It wasn’t just me btw, it was me and a guy who just had open heart surgery the week before. Anyway, I still cringe when people bring it up!

Sneaking sips- I remember being at my in laws place and getting wine for everyone from the kitchen. Every time I went to the kitchen I would drink more of my wine and top up my glass. So I ended up drinking Way more than everyone else. I felt like cap the next day, Hung over and remorseful.
I am so grateful those days are over.

Robs-HI!! Glad you are checking in. That log book sounds familiar, I think I had one too at one point. Crazy things we do to try and control something that can’t be controlled.

Have a great sober day everyone, don’t drink today.
Xo