Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

We've all made ourselves up, [MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION] (or let others do it for us and we believed them) and the good news is, we can make something else up anytime we want :smile:.

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, I loved the screw tops on the wine bottles and yeah not finding a cork screw was a real issue. I remember just pushing the cork in and drinking the wine. Gross.

Don’t drink tonight.
Xo

G, please check in.

I remember drinking a bottle of champagne that had turned yellow & sour. On more than one occasion. I can remember once that my hubby finally took it & poured it out. uke:

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello nesters,

Checking in after a few more days totally off the grid. We're on our Montana cabin trip and finally arrived in MT where I have cell service. There was a 2-night stay in a forest service cabin in eastern WA on the way here - pretty rustic but still comfortable. After we leave here we'll spend 2 more nights in a different FS cabin on the way home, and I'll be off the grid again for that stretch, but I should be able to check in here for the next couple of days.

Sounds like folks are mostly doing well, except for extreme heat for Lav.

Lost Soul and Overit - great to see you both and glad you're here with us. I agree with the others - when you're struggling is the time to be here the most. Please know you're in good company who probably understand better than most what you're going through.

Ava and Lav - glad your pup and chicken, respectively, are feeling better!

G-dude - c'mon buddy, we're all wanting to hear from you [MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION]

Tomorrow is the 4th of July or Independence Day in the U.S. One of my least favorite holidays to be honest. I have not-so-fond memories of drinking too much on way too many of them (going back to maybe 2nd year of high school), and I've always had pups who trembled through the whole week of fire crackers and fireworks. Now I know several veterans with true PTSD and they literally have to leave town to escape the noise of "celebrating" neighbors who don't give a sh*t about how this holiday affects anyone else. Honestly, that kind of eff-you behavior is one of the ugliest sides of U.S. culture (IMO) and I'm not sad to be off in the mountains missing all of it. Hope those of you in other parts of the U.S. have good holidays, and for those of you in Canada, Happy Belated Canada Day!

Catch you all on the flip side.

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], wow going off the grid sounds interesting. I don’t know if I could do it but I guess it would keep me from drinking. I hear Montana is absolutely beautiful! Have a wonderful time!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. Hope everyone is doing well. Happy 4th of July. I’m off from work today but still up bright and early and UN Hungover. Have beach plans today with the grandchildren. I have been working on staying busy in the evenings since that is my hardest time of the day. Daytime is easy for me. I have had way too many bad habits that developed over the years with drinking in the evening. Not easy to undo all that. Today is day 13 for me and it feels good to be on the right track. Taking it one day at a time and enjoying reading everyone’s posts. Thanks for welcoming me.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rava, lucky day 13 was the day I knew I could do this! It was a changing day for me. I hope you find that, too! You should be VERY proud of yourself. Breaking the cycle of addiction is HARD. Great job on finding support and getting this done once and for all. Keeping AL in the picture only prolongs the inevitable. Get it out and slam the door!
NS, funny you should mention we are who we’ve made ourselves up to be, and let others do it for us. I have recently learned that the man who raised me wasnt my biological father! In fact, it looks as if at least 3 of the 5 children my mother had are the family doctor’s! Mother lost two babies after me, so possibly more. I feel as if my whole life was a lie! Jeez, you really dont know what goes on behind closed doors, and I thought I WAS behind them! DNA doesnt lie, but people sure do. What a tangled web.
We are heading out shortly for our neighrhood 4th of July parade. Hot as heck outside.
Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[frances]

Re: Newbies Nest

@Pavati, I no longer spend time imagining what others think about my actions and outputs - or even about me. I was probably wrong about what they were thinking most of the time anyway. Realizing that our feelings are nothing more than our thoughts come to life makes them much less scary and it becomes easier not to chase thoughts that cause bad ones. Why spend life unhappy about things that we create??

This really hit me No Sugar...I have always worried about what people think of me. I know it shouldn't and doesn't matter but I have that insecurity and have to battle it all of the time. Not drinking definitely has helped me in that area - when I'm not drinking I feel in control and I just feel 'better' and more clear and that helps with a lot of those thoughts. But being conscious of how I can modify my thinking when I find myself heading to those bad places is very important.

I can relate to loving the wine with a screw top - it became my go-to. i'm still ashamed to admit it but one reason was that i could pour myself a little to have while driving home from work. Not nearly enough to get drunk, but that just shows how much control AL had over me. And that happened both before my previous quit, and also just recently when I started to have trouble again. I should have known better, but I continue to be surprised at how AL crept back up on me. I went from doing great to the old habits very rapidly and now I'm struggling with the thoughts and cravings. I know it will get better with time, I'm just wishing that part would hurry up and get here!

This month we will be out of town for my daughter's softball tournaments every weekend - it is going to be a true test but I've done it before and I know I can do it again! Thankfully I'll always have wifi and will be able to check in here.

Hope everyone has a great day - thank you for being here!

[frances]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie we cross-posted - I just saw your post...wow you must be reeling! How did the family find this out? Now I guess you also have the potential for other half-siblings? It must feel so crazy to learn this - I can't even imagine!

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Independence Day all. I too wish the fireworks would be one and done. It really gets stupid w/people setting them off all hours of the day and night. No respect for others and don’t even consider their actions affect other beings. They just use the 4th to be buttheads. Well at least we are nearing the end of the idiocy. My pup needs a break. Although there was a time when I was one of the buttheads. Booze & the stupidity that goes along w/drinking played a big part in it. ~ Anyway, using the time off from work to relax. Not just to be lazy but to do the things I enjoy. Enjoyment has a whole new meaning when I am AF. Thankful for where I am right now. ~ Have a great day everyone ~ AF of course :happy2:

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie!!!! That's crazy! It's shocking how your whole life can be questioned and viewed from a completely different perspective based on one major lie. We have a couple of horrible secrets/lies in my family that made me wonder if anything I remember growing up was even true. You though, have made yourself up to be an incredibly energetic, loving, talented, funny and genuine person! Thanks for always being here.

Happy Independence Day everyone, stay safe and above all, stay SOBER!
Roobs

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Frances, my sister has always been the family geneologist, she is very active on Ancestry.com and has painstkingly traced our tree back to the 1500’s. A couple years ago, I had my DNA tested to help her get further along with our tree. She and I showed full siblings, so we were humming along. There has been great discord in our family, I am the only one who speaks to all my brothers and sis....the second brother is mad at the oldest brother and my sister (dont ask why, we arent sure anymore). Anyway, he made a crack about my sister not looking like the rest of us. She does have features that arent consistant with the rest of us, she is short, has curly hair and very fair skin. Those hurtful words stuck with her so she asked the oldest brother to take the DNA test, too (about 2 montgs ago). Low and behold, turns out they are half siblings. She was floored, so was I! Then as we dug into it, the family doctor’s son pops up on our page as a DNA match! He and I share more DNA than the brother I was raised with!
We broke the news to the oldest brother and he is as shocked as we are. We knew we had to tell the other brother, so the other night, I finally worked up enough courage to tell him. He agreed to talk woth my other brother and sis so we got on a 4 way call to discuss. He has agreed to do a DNA test also, HE may also be the doctor’s! So if anything good has come from this, its that the family is having some conversation now. It appears that my mother had a 30 year affair with this man. The twist (yes, another twist) is that we think he also had an affair with his nurse! The product of that (son) was in my homeroom class in high school! We always thought he was the doctor’s because he looks exactly like him.
Needless to say, our family tree is a mess. We have reached out to the half siblings, but nothing yet. A delicate subject for sure.
I bet you are sorry you asked!!! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone--

Wow, Byrdie! What a shock. I hope you are ok, and sorting it all out. I guess that's the fallout from 23 and me and other genetics tests that are so prevalent. I have a friend who found out not only that her dad was not her biological day, but was also not her brother's biological dad was yet a third party. It came out because she was doing 23 and me for curiosity. I don't know what your situation is like, but the good news for her was that she found her half siblings and has an amazing relationship with them now. I hope you get what you need out of this revelation.

Wags - How does one go about reserving those off the grid cabins? Sounds like my kind of holiday! I haven't been to Montana but it is on my bucket list for sure.

Good to see you set an intention for your day, Hypernova. I hope you get to enjoy it.

Frances - as you know, the cravings go away. I was "lucky" in that my last weekend drinking was so scary to me that my fear kept the cravings away while I was going through the first few weeks. I really, really, really didn't want to ever feel like that again.

NS and Lav - I just started the book Why Buddhism is True - it starts with that message exactly. I would say that I have been caring less and less about those things with age anyway, but now I am ready to put some intention behind it.

I am having a lazy day here, and then going for some dinner with some friends. No alcohol-infused BBQ parties in sight...

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, that is such an interesting story! I can't imagine what you are going through. I have nothing like that in my family, we definitely know who our father was. I wonder how many 1/2 brothers and sisters you are going to find. Wow.

Pav, have a great supper with your friends. It is nice not to have to go to an alcohol infused BBQ.

No thoughts of drinking here. Things are good for now. We are going to have some really nice weather for the next week so I am looking forward to that. Come up here Ava, I will keep you warm!

xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

it's been a really difficult couple of weeks here, with non-stop work.. I have appreciated very much, being able to check in here and read mornings and evenings-- you've all given me strength. I'm sorry I haven't been around to support. Today was the last day of school and I think I have the next couple of days free.. so I will check in after work tomorrow for a good catch up. I've been happy to read about the milestones, pet-stories, overcoming urges and cravings, summer break plans, new AF plans..
NS, thank you once again, for the great post on thoughts.. I've been stuck in mine once again and "trying" to move forward and out of them..
Byrdie, what a story.. I, too, hope you are feeling ok about everything.. that's a lot to take on.

hugs to all of you.. and to days of rest. can't wait myself for the weekend..
xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters & Happy July 4th to those celebrating today

Rava, 13 AF days is awesome!

Byrdie, a former friend of mine went thru the same thing 30 years ago. Finding out that you are not who you thought you were is a bit disturbing. Especially so when those involved are no longer living so you can't get any answers. Try not to let this info upset you too much. There's not a damn thing we can do about our DNA. All we can do is live the best lives we can, right? I hope your brothers & sister continuing speaking to each other - funny how things happen.

Pav, Buddhist philosophy just makes good sense, certainly a good path to a peaceful existence Enjoy your reading!

Hello to Narilly, LC, Wags & everyone checking in today.
We still haven't heard from G yet???

Still quite hot around here but it was a full 7 degrees cooler than yesterday ha ha!!!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav