Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - I'm so sorry to hear of the shocking news you and your sibs have recently discovered. I can only imagine - seems like it'd be very upsetting, and I hope you're doing ok with everything. Fortunately, you have your full-feathered family here in the nest! Sending you hugs dear friend. If there's anything we can do to provide support, please don't hesitate to reach out.

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just Checking in on a sober July 4th. Drinking all around me with family in town for the last week. No desire, although I know that's because of my daily Antabuse but I don't care. That's the reason I take it. It takes all fight away in my mind, which is most of my battle. 45 minutes and I'll have completed day 7.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

I guess we cross-posted, Byrdie. What a story. I'm glad you got the courage to talk to your siblings. There's so much to wonder...

CONGRATULATIONS, Overit! A week is amazing! I hope you can keep yourself out of the situation of family drunk fests for a while.

LC - Sorry you're working too much. I hope it is good work, and that you're satisfied at least. Don't forget to take care of YOU.

Well, that day off in the middle of the week was nice but weird. Not really a vacation, but it tricked me into thinking it was the weekend (which will come soon enough). Summers here are usually cold and foggy (thanks to the Pacific Ocean), and yesterday was no exception. I didn't even try to see fireworks.

Happy Thursday,
Pav

[frances]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all! Yesterday was a good day - I went to a bbq in the afternoon and many were drinking and it didn't bother me much at all. The evening was much better too. I think it helped to not have the drive home from work be a trigger.

Byrdie, I don't regret asking at all - I still can't imagine how you must all feel about it - I'm sure there are a whole slew of emotions you are going through - but I am glad like you that it has helped get family talking to each other again! As others have mentioned, I'm sure it is very difficult for you - you know the faithful nesters will always be here for any venting you need to do!

Congrats Overit on 7 days!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the support! I know this doesn't have anything to do with AL, but it is helpful to hear an unbiased opinion about the situation.
I mustered the courage to call the nurse's son yesterday (the one I went to school with). I began by saying that we went to school together, were in homeroom, at first he didn't remember me, but as we spoke more, he did. I told him about our upcoming class reunion, blah, blah, blah....and by the way, I recently found out I am the offspring of the doctor your mother worked for (40 years). I said, you know, I always thought you bore a resemblance to the Dr, too. He said, there had been much talk about that, but if he was (were?), he didn't want to know. I told him that if it were true, he and I would be half siblings! I sent him the information I had about the DNA, and I got a note from him this morning that he wanted to talk again. He was a sweet young man back in high school, and he sounded like a wonderful man now. I have a dr's appt (don't worry, it's an EYE dr!!) ha this afternoon, so will call him after that.
Again, thank you for listening, it really has been a shift. Hugs to all! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

funny you should mention we are who we’ve made ourselves up to be, and let others do it for us. I have recently learned that the man who raised me wasnt my biological father! In fact, it looks as if at least 3 of the 5 children my mother had are the family doctor’s! Mother lost two babies after me, so possibly more. I feel as if my whole life

Wow, Byrdie. The belief that "I am the daughter of X" is a bigger one to have to let go than most of those we've created or been given. So much of our identity comes from our family and our role in it. I hope this identity crisis does serve to bring all of the people affected together. xx

I have always worried about what people think of me. I know it shouldn't and doesn't matter but I have that insecurity and have to battle it all of the time.

I bet most people share that worry and maybe especially those of us who make it to a stop drinking forum! A little concern about what others think is probably good for a society to function properly as evidenced by the US government currently being run by people who seem to have no sense of shame. But I know I always cared way too much and was willing to do just about anything to avoid disapproval. Approval became my minimum requirement so there was no where to go but down. It extended to my grades in school (to me, an A was a C) and to my behavior overall. I didn't do anything that my idea of a "good girl" wouldn't. But, man, what a carefully constructed and very hard to defend ego that turned out to be!!

It is hard to evaluate ourselves in real life but I've found it really interesting to observe what goes on with NoSugar. At first, she was wary because this posting on a public forum about the thing she was most ashamed of seemed crazy. But then, it felt so good, she shared things she never thought she would and finally told the truth about herself after hiding for so long. But even while dumping this emotional baggage all over MWO, I became aware that I wanted people to like NoSugar. And when others criticized her, I felt really defensive. I kept reminding myself that few people know who NoSugar really is so what was my problem?? Well, same thing as in real life - attachment to an oversized but weak ego!! It still crops up now and then when I make up the idea that X doesn't like NoSugar so I decide that I won't post on threads where X posts and avoid having to be faced with not being "liked". But how do I know whether someone does or doesn't like my avatar? I have no way of knowing what they are thinking or whether they even read my posts! From the "outside", it is so much easier to see how much *$##*! I make up! In a couple cases here online, I've had subsequent conversations with people I thought didn't like NoSugar that made me realize I was imagining things and attributing thoughts to others that they probably didn't even have. And there probably are people out there who I think like NoSugar who frankly think she is full of sh*t but are too polite to say so. What I'm really happy about is that that finally is becoming ok with both NoSugar and me :smile: :smile:.

Buddhist philosophy just makes good sense, certainly a good path to a peaceful existence

Exploring Buddhist philosophy and the 3 Principles (as well as practicing Lav's gratitude AKA Lavitude!) over the last few years has changed entirely how I view and experience life. If I had known and understood 20 years ago what I'm learning now, I doubt I would have slunk into addiction. Sure, the biochemistry and genetics would have been there and alcohol would have been as it is now, a highly addictive substance, but I wouldn't have needed to 'feel better' and so wouldn't have gone looking for and found my answer in a bottle.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

So interesting Byrdie, I really hope you figure this all out. Thank goodness this man was nice to talk to.
Let us know what happens.

Thanks for checking in Life, hope things slow down soon.

It’s Calgary Stampede now. Tomorrow is the parade and there are drunk people everywhere for 10 days. I remember going to the parade with a major hangover a few times. Ugh. I also remember cleaning the puke off my boots many times too.
That ain’t happening this time!

Don’t drink today.
Xo

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Wow Byrd, what can i say. That must have blown your mind learning all of that news. Remember none of it is your fault and just think of all the new family members you may find along the way. sending you love and hugs.

Good to see you checking in LC. life does have a way of getting in the way at times. I hope it settles down for you soon.

Frances, i always used to worry what people would think if i didnt drink and now i dont care what they think, this is my life i have fought so hard for and no one is taking that off me ever again. I also felt very deprived when i went out and saw all those people seeminly having a great time drinking and i think the deprivation got to me the most. the "why me", "its not fair" thoughts were intrusive which started the al brain going into overdrive telling me i could surely have one and be ok. pure and utter crap and i am so grateful i did not listen to that voice. I would not have the life i have today if i was drinking. Keep up the great work, you will never regret getting rid of al, as hard as it is at times!

NS, i like you! i still worry occasionally about what people think of me, especially people who just seem to have it in for me. I know i am great at my job, a peoples person, bend over backwards to help others and a certain few seem to want to make my life a living misery. I have now decided to cut those people out of my life. even if i do work with them, i certainly dont need to be made to feel like i do. even after 4 1/2 years i am still learning and i do know those thoughts get less as time goes on.

Nar, was it your puke? I was never a puker when i drank, no wasting the al i had consumed by puking.

TFIF here, i love my new work space and i am learning a lot by listening to the doctors talk about the patients and what their work involves on a daily basis and i can watch for burnout with them. I feel like a mother hen and thats not a bad thing.

The weather has been quite warmish the last few days but in for some rain and hail and cold. i prefer that to the heat you are all experiencing.

take care x

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters. Wow Byrd, what a story. I’m glad you are handling it so well. Must have been a total shock. Hope everyone had a great day yesterday. I went to the beach with the grand babies and literally floated on a dollar store float for a few hours! It was great to relax and not think about drinking. Today is day 14 for me. I still feel pretty strong in my quit but some cravings are pretty heavy. There is not alcohol in the house so that seems to be somewhat of a help. Working also helps me stay sober. I am actually retirement age, but my biggest fear of retirement is turning into a raging drunk. I am afraid that too much free time will set me back. So i continue to go to work everyday and have a structured schedule.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Day 7 of the heat wave is almost over, thank goodness. The rain tomorrow is bring cooler weather - they've promised!!!

Overit, CONGRTS on your week AF! Keep moving forward with us, AF is the way to be

Rava, CONGRATS on your 2 weeks AF, yay!! Don't worry too much about retirement, I'm there too & I am busy with many things, no time for drinking!

Hi there Ava, Narilly & Pav.

NS, I wish I had known more 20 or 30 years ago as well. I do know that out of control anxiety & depression left me hugging the wine bottle, holding on for dear life
Of course I knew it was wrong to do that - I just didn't care, not at all, not even a little. I know for me is is key to keep myself from ever sinking that low again ~ I just won't!!!

Byrdie, I'm glad you reached out to that guy. You never know but this whole debacle could very well turn out wonderful for a lot of people :hug:

Hello to the rest of the gang. Mr G, where are you?
I'm watching my grandsons for the day tomorrow, fun times.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

It sure looked like MWO was gone for good when I tried to log on this morning and saw the Screen of Death! It looked much more "final" than the screens that used to appear when MWO was periodically crashing. Anyway, it was a good reminder to have other contact information for any MWO friends who you'd hate to lose if the site actually was taken down. It would be nice to think we'd get some warning if that was going to be done but I'm not really sure how this operates or who is paying for it. I'm glad to see we're back in business for now anyway. Have a good day and like @narilly always says, Don't drink!!

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good sober morning. On day 9 here. It's amazing how fast it seems to go on one hand, on the other it's like an eternity

[Lost Soul]

Re: Newbies Nest

tom walker i will leave a light on. its so beautiful. can you leave a light on for me xxx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Are you ok, Lost Soul?
Yes, NS, that looked ominus when it said that my account was suspended this morning. It made me think just how much I love MWO and the people here. It's kind of amazing that some of the strongest friendships I've ever had are from people on this site. I hope the site is healthy and that it continues for a long time to come!

It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Don't drink today, Narilly, such good advice! Happy Friday, all! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Good that things seem to be working again
I remember the site being down a few times in my early years here - made me nervous. We are survivors, always remember that!

I spent a busy day watching my grandsons & nearing the completion of packing up my entire house so the floors can be refinished next week. So much work but it will be nice when it's done. I'll be away next week while the work is being done, thankful for that

LS, are you OK? Please let us know what's going on with you.

Some of us are connected on Facebook - just a thought.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. It's a beautiful 74 degrees here, going down to 60 overnight......aww, such a relief!

Lav