Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, I used to longingly wish for the alcohol that's "in our faces", but lately it comes and goes without even a second thought. I was asked at least 12 times last night if they could PLEASE pour me some wine damn it... and the bar tender was annoyed at my constant soda requests. It's just not a part of me any more. The acceptance that it does not equal the life I want makes the dealing with its abundance in our society easier I think.

That is an amazing level of acceptance that you have come to. That is something that gaining such a level of acceptance can eventually mean that it all doesn’t bother nor even phase you! Thanks for the inspiration.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Over, you are doing great. i remember my first blood test after i gave up and my liver was normal, who would have thought that after abusing it for years.

Congrats on your 3 weeks Rava, life only gets better and better the more you are away from al.

Wags, the rescue bought tears to my eyes. Yes its hard to hear about good things on the news now. I seem to mute the tv a lot! Wow 2 years and i bet its been the most rewarding two years you have had even with what life has thrown you.

Kensho, i hope your partners sister goes peacefully. For some of us we just cant win the battle as much as we want to. My brother wanted to stop but it was too late for him and was a battle he could not win. i count myself as one of the lucky ones.

Lav sounds like you are having a great holiday. Did you end up hiking?

Rava i was more into youtube and watching movies about alcoholics in the beginning. i had stopped reading as i only ever got to read a couple of paragraphs in my drinking days and then promptly passed out and forgot what i read. it was like ground hog day with my reading back in the day. i havent really gotten back into it now i am sober as i love knitting more now.

Frances, i didnt know about the library gig, might have to look and see if they do it here, not that i would use it but you never know. I am with you that al should be lumped with the other substances but some still justify that al is not a drug and the problem is not as bad as other drugs. mmm dont know which rock they are hiding under to assume that stance. Makes me furious sometimes. when i first stopped drinking, as it was near xmas, i had to drive past a billboard advertising al that was massive. i still remember trying to close my eyes (not adviseable driving) so i could not see it and those al thoughts would not start.

Well i had better get motivated for a saturday. I have a toothache so dont think much will happen.

Big waves to everyone and take care x

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, I got a job and I start on Monday! Now I won’t be so cash strapped.

Your liver test was normal Ava? Wow, that is amazing. I never had mine checked but I am sure it is normal now. Sorry about the toothache, those are the worst.
Big hugs Ken. It is crazy how much alcohol there is around everywhere and at every function.

Byrdie, I hop you have a great weekend.
Rava, I listened to the Bubblehour podcasts a lot and read any AL books I could get my hands on. There are lists of books in the tool section I think.
Hello Life, Pav, Lav everyone.

Hello G!

Don’t drink today.
Xo

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great posts, all.
So glad its Friday. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

My vacation is over & I'm back home. It was fun to be with my daughter & her family, seeing new things & places
We did get a hike in this morning & it was very nice.

So glad to see everyone doing so well. Sticking to your plan & ignoring AL may seem hard & a lot of work right now but it does pay off, I promise
I am so grateful that I made my quit stick & I know you can all do it too!

Ava, sorry about the toothache, hope it improves.
Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone.

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

good Un-hung Saturday, as Nar would say.. Congrats on the job front, dear Nar!
Ava, I hope the toothache isn't anything serious.. have you flossed lately?:love: I was just at the dentist (after having cancelled multiple appts.) and had to get a filling replaced. Gives me goosebumps thinking about it.
Kensho, very sad about that poor woman. That's how I feel about André now. I always think that there must be some string of hope for all of us.. something that at some point of desperation seems better than dying. We are all so fortunate to be here, finding out ways out.
Lav, sounds like you had such a nice time with your family.. glad you found the right shoes for your hike!

Thanks to NS and Pav for posting links to the Off-Dry blog.. I'd forgotten about her and I really like her writing. I've been wavering a bit lately with my thinking about drinking as well as having quite a few sleepless (or very little sleep) worrying. Last night I read a lot and found a good one for those beginning this journey..Day 778: You Do Not Have to be Good – Off-Dry I find it to be a good one for any time one is feeling overwhelmed.. anyway, I related a lot and it made me feel better to know (remember/re-read) that being sober is my number one task and I should do/get to do (or not do!) anything to support that. I've been putting too much pressure on myself again lately and it goes alright for a time and then it's just too much.. at this point it's ok to step back and let something go or postpone something. But it's not ok to search for "escapes"-- in my case that is always a bad (or at least potentially dangerous) sign.

Wishing everyone a good weekend.. big, fat hugs all around!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters and happy Saturday. Frances, i have used Overdrive app for library books for years. It’s great when you can find a good book. There is also an app that ties in with my local library called Hoopla. There are movies,music and books on that app. Thanks for the tip on the Bubble hour podcast. I was gonna ask this community about podcasts to listen to while I drive to work. So far the only podcasts I listen to involve reality tv reviews! LOL. Hope everyone has a good day without alcohol. I am planning to avoid it. I am lucky in this latest quit because I dont have to justify not drinking as my family thinks I am still not drinking from years ago. They would be devastated to know I slid back. I am cleaning that mess up right now. No drinking for me.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Good to see you pop by, Pauly. One of the signs that I was a drunk was that I had switched to mostly drinking vodka. My excuse was that it didn't make me hungover like wine and beer (which don't cause hangovers if you drink only one), but really I think it was because I could drink more and mix it with anything. Alcohol most certainly is a drug... No Sugar - I have a fear that if I use even medical marijuana I will like the feeling so much it could become a habit as well. I know you can get it without THC, so I am still looking into that. I know I have mentioned it here a lot - proof that I am cautious.

Narilly! Congratulations! It must be such a relief to have a job. It would be hard for me to be in that boom or bust cycle. I hope it is a good one that lasts a while!

LC - I think I am like you, but I never thought of it as adrenaline addiction. I work and go full blast and when I have down time I go into a funky depression for a while. I used to be a teacher, and for the first week or two of ever summer I would be so depressed and it was hard for me to get up and do anything (except drink!) I am glad to see you check in and noticing how you're feeling about booze. Keep coming here every day and even if you don't read back write a sentence or two about how you're feeling. Like NS has mentioned, sometimes it is just that act of thinking about your thinking that can help screw your head on correctly.

Speaking of work junkie - I'm off to get some things done this beautiful Saturday. My professional goal is to find more balance, but it might be a month or two until I figure out how to work that out...

Have GREAT days, Nest. Take care of yourselves, and don't drink, no matter what...

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sattidy, Nesters.
LC, hearing about Andre is humbling to me. The only difference between him and me is the degree to which his disease progressed. I was lucky enough to find MWO and had a great incentive to stop, but if I hadnt made the choice I did, I can see how things would have gone downhill and fast. I hope he can find a way out of his hell. My thoughts are with him
We are going to a neighborhood birthday party tonight. The couple has a great dane dog (yoooge) that is a friend of Rubi’s. I made a cupcake for the birthday boy. Stay strong, everyone! Byrdie
BD5BD707-039D-42FA-BDAD-450818D2F97A.jpg

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Back in the land of hot &sunny here, geez. I think I have watered everything my husband neglected to water while I was away. We’re starting to get that dry, crispy look to things outside.

Nar, Congrats on the new job, hope you love it & more.

Byrdie, your cupcake takes the prize, really LOL

Hello to Pav, Rava, LC & everyone.
Have a safe night in the nest one & all

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rava, that is great that you don’t have to explain why you’re not drinking since they already consider you a non-drinker! One less thing to worry about.

I went out to dinner with my husband tonight and it didn’t bother me much at all to not have a drink with dinner! I had root beer, and it came on tap in a beautiful frosted mug. My husband has been nice about not ordering a drink with dinner lately when we are out for dinner, so he didn’t have his usual glass of wine that he has in an Italian restaurant, which helped. Usually 15 y/o daughter is with us, so it has been setting a better example for her that we don’t always have to order a drink when we go out to eat.
I have been trying to break my strong association with drinking and restaurant meals, so went out for Mexican with daughter #1 and her husband a couple nights ago. I got a Clausthaler instead of a $2 tap special, so I guess that broke the news to them that I’m on the wagon.
And I let daughter #2 know that today too, and that I won’t be drinking at her at-home wedding reception next weekend (hard one, harder than restaurants), so it’s official.

Good luck with your party tonight Byrdie, welcome home Lavande and glad you had a good vacation, congratulations on the job Narilly!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, I love Rootbeer and fully support you drinking it You are doing great, I know Italian food can be tough because the AL association.

Pav, enjoy your day off. I forgot you were a teacher at one time, that is a tough job.

Thanks for the good wishes everyone, mich appreciated.

Life, you are doing great. Those drinking thoughts are just thoughts, let them float on by.

Hello Byrdie, Lav, Rava, Pauly, Ava, everyone.

I am looking forward to an UnHung Sunday.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Nar, I am so happy to be waking up Un-hung on this gorgeous Sunday morning and even happier to say that those annoying thoughts are gone and I'm back to feeling strong.
Yeah, Pav, I'm not sure if it's completely accurate to say I'm addicted to adrenaline rushes.. I know that during my life I have felt more comfortable (in a very f***ed up way) with chaos, adrenaline, high, intense emotions, rather than with a quiet and balanced life.. which I've never had and am sort of beginning to get used to. I know that it's all residual childhood stuff mixed with a life of drinking too much, mixed with over active hormones and who knows what else. It feels good to sit with anxiety and postpone immediate gratification.. now with some experience under my belt, I know that if I can get past the intense cravings, they will fade into more or less nothing.
For me, at the moment, this has more to do with a relationship that can't happen rather than alcohol.. but it's honestly the same principal which has been an eye opener. And a bit unsettling because it's felt like a hard life (small pity party) to have to work on yet another "addiction" (I might be exaggerating, but it sure as hell feels like it). Anyway, to turn it around I've been pulling out my gratitude list, writing in my journal openly and honestly about it all, focussing on the things I love and the things I'm not addicted to.:happy2: I'm not addicted to practicing Spanish or cleaning my flat!

Slo, I would prefer an icy mug of root beer to a normal beer.. I LOVE root beer and we don't have it here. Great job with that and I'm happy to hear your Hubby is being so supportive. Also, I think it's so important that you've opened up to your daughters and told them ahead of time that you won't be drinking. You can set yourself up with a nice selection of your favourite af drinks, keep yourself filled up on food, enjoy the company. Imagine we're all right there with you, supporting you!

Byrdie, what a lovely cupcake.. did you just bake the one? What I wouldn't do for a cupcake right now!
Lav, my balcony plants are all getting crispy as well.. I hope we at least get some red tomatoes!

ok. off to get some things done. Today my eldest daughter's boyfriend has invited us over for lunch.. it's the first time I've been to his place and she said he's very nervous.. sweet. I'm looking forward to it and I'm happy that they are being so open with me. When I was her age I just snuck around and hid everything from my parents (who weren't mentally/emotionally there for me anyway) so this feels good.

Hugs and love to everyone and wishing you a nice and easy Sunday..xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters,
There is a little back story to the dog doing his business on that cupcake, these neighbors live on a corner lot and dog walkers are bad to let their dogs ‘exercise’ there, so they put a sign up that says to pick up after your dog. LC, over here, the grocery store sells cakes you can make in a mug, so when I dont want to make a batch, I use that. Here again, I used a silicone pan and in a minute and 15 seconds, I had a cupcake.

Good thing I ate a little something before I went to the party last night, she had a BEAUTIFUL spead with all sorts of interesting finger foods but there were 100’s of flies swarming on it! The thought of eating any of it made me sick (wish I could do that with AL). I got stuck with a neighbor that prattles on so for the first time in ages I wished I could get blasted to escape her! Jiminy Crickets! What a mind-numbing experience! First off, she talks so low I cant hear her, then she strays off topic to the point where I want to finish the story FOR her! She doesnt take a breathe either, there’s no good way to break loose! Finally, I dropped my pkate and napkin and mercifully, the wind caused me to chase it! So after I retrieved the errent papergoods, I scurried home. Should put this woman at the top of my Drinking Trigger list, good thing I didnt know her when I was quitting! :haha: her poor husband didn't talk at all, he is conditioned, I guess. Holy crow.

A beautiful day here today! Hoping to get out and enjoy it! Hugs to all!! Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - ha, I was wondering how (and whether) one might bake a single cupcake - mystery solved! It looks yummy :P

Kensho - sorry to hear about your dad's partner's sister. These are always hard to hear. You said something else that really resonated with me - I didn't snip it to quote, but it was something about how al and the life you want to live don't go together, and that helps you stay AF. I totally agree with this - I even visualize it all together so that if/when the idea of "just one" drink pops into my head, I see it associated with all the negatives and the loss of all the positives. Yes, I put that big of a cost on just one drink, and I never ever choose to pay that steep price!

Slo - great job bringing family into the loop about you being on the wagon so to speak. You've made it though a couple of challenges, now to get through the at-home event for your other daughter. You CAN do this, and having their support should help you stay strong. <3


Welp, we are melting here in the Pacific NW. It gets this hot about once every summer and this seems to be the week for it. We might hit 100 today, plus a string of 95+ days before and after. I know that doesn't sound like much compared to many parts of the world, but because this heat is so unusual here, the houses and buildings generally don't have AC so there's little chance to escape the heat unless you drive ~90 mins to the coast (along with everyone else of course!). We survive because we have a cold water soaking tub in our backyard. Sitting immersed in cold fresh water for even a few mins at a time really drops your core temp and helps us manage the heat. But still - I'll be glad when this wave passes!

Heat waves used to be an excuse to drink more summertime al drinks (ironic since that's the last thing you should do in heat). No MORE! I am so close to my 2-year mark and I cannot wait to celebrate it! OMG, my life has done a 180 in the past 2 years and when I look back at where I was around this time in 2016 I'm shocked at how far down in the deep dark pit I was at that time, and I'm overjoyed at how far I've climbed since then - not just out of the pit, but higher up into the clouds and rainbows. Maybe even a few unicorns around here now

Not everything is peaches and cream for sure. I've seen some tough challenges in the past 2 years and I am very proud that I've weathered them without a drop of al (hardly a thought of al actually).

For any of you out there just starting your quits, or hitting a rough patch at certain month marks, or just lurking - you CAN do this. And it is SOOOOO worth doing.

Happy Sundays almost-Mondays to everyone!