Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Slo,fabulous job on having root beer instead of beer beer I'm lucky in that when I go out to eat I'm too excited about the food to consider drinking but back in the day if I'd been drinking and we decided to go out to eat,I'd order but not touch the food,I tend not to eat if I've drank,so being obsessed with food(in a healthy way) is actually a good thing for me,Byrdie,I could see more details on the cupcake on Facebook and I cracked up! So cute was thinking about the article yesterday on the Off dry link posted about not having to be good and yes I agree we shouldn't try to take too much on but don't we need to change some things? I try to do more structured stuff that I'd never do while drinking just to have a more positive mindset and surroundings,maybe I'm doing it wrong I dunno,don't want to sit and just do nothing either though,this stuff is confusing haha,Ava,for some reason I thought of the pics you shared years ago of the hot air balloon rides,dunno why it just popped into my head,Wags,I'm excited for your two years coming up wishing everyone a great booze free day!!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning--

LOVE your enthusiasm, Wags. The truth is that when I look back, my life is so much different than when I was drinking, in little ways, big ways, and little ways that add up to big ways. There is so much more that I got from not drinking other than just physical and mental health. The freedom opened up so many other paths for me that I didn't even know existed, so I didn't even know were missing. I can't wait to celebrate 2 years with you!

I agree, Pauly. Change this and that but don't take on too much - a bit of a mixed message. I take it as only take on things that keep you from drinking. So if adding something (say the commitment to exercise) ends up causing just more stress, don't do it, or do it in a different way. I remember I just committed to myself to put on my shoes and walk to the end of the block every day. Inevitably I would walk further, but sometimes I didn't, and that was ok. Take on things that will help, but don't be too hard on yourself or too regimented, I guess is how I looked at it. I LOVE going to restaurants and focusing on the food now. So much better that way.

Ready to watch the World Cup. Go Croatia! I'm sure in my drinking days I would be at a party having a bloody mary by now. Instead, I'm in my jammies with some coffee.

Happy Lazy and Sober Sunday,
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

This podcast is primarily about food (carbohydrate) addiction but the first half is also is a great discussion of addiction itself and how we treat ourselves (you might like it, @NoraC):

http://www.thelivinlowcarbshow.com/shownotes/17247/1402-dr-robert-cywes-on-treating-obesity-and-diabetes-from-a-substance-abuse-perspective/

@wagmore, I'm so glad you came back to MWO. I was sorry when you drifted away before and I look forward to your 2nd re-birthday! Hope you're here to stay :hug:.

Congrats on the job, @narilly. It sounds like you appreciated what was good about the time off but also it's nice not to be pinching pennies.

@Pavati, my life is better in ALL ways without alcohol in it. There is nothing real and true that is better now. My greater social 'ease' when drinking was fake and in the moment only - afterwards I made myself miserable for hours worrying that I'd said or done something embarrassing. And by the time I finally quit, I was only drinking alone anyway.

@lifechange, whenever my dog is too eager to get to something and straining on the leash, I can be almost sure it's going to be something she shouldn't have, like dead rabbit jerky. Same for me -- I now avoid things I like "too much" . They aren't sources of true pleasure and joy, just temporary hits to my brain's reward center.

@paulywogg, I changed the things I wanted to change, not the things someone else said I should change. As I wrote to a friend earlier, I didn't do anything I didn't want to do for a few months. I met my responsibilities (and didn't drink!) but that was about it unless something appealed to me.

It is great to have you here in the nest, @Slo. You're doing a great job setting yourself up for success.

Hi, Nest moms, @Byrdlady and @Lavande. Thanks for always being here. xx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Well back to the grind of Monday and of course woke at 4.30am but not with the GSR's. i could not imagine getting up at this time and being at work and functioning if i was drinking. We have an opening of a video monitoring unit today for patients who have seizures, whether imagined or epileptic in nature. I could sleep there if i was allowed. The new Prof has done wonders for this neurology department, shame he cant get a good PA though!

Oh Pauly the hot air balloon ride, who would have ever thought i could get up in one of those. Thank goodness my friend Robert had a bucket list. Yes your life will change not drinking but it doesnt need to be "now, or today or tomorrow". Every day you wake up sober you are making a change in your life. I know when i first became sober i wanted it all to happen, i wanted to feel great, i wanted to eat again, i wanted a man, i wanted to be happy but that didnt happen. its a slow process healing ourselves from the inside out or outside in. For me the first year was just about not drinking and going slowly. My motto was to do at least three things a day, no overwhelming myself and focusing on me 100%. Time is a great healer and i never ever ever thought in my wildest dreams that i would be 4+ years sober.

Nar i forgot to say a big congratulations on your job.

LC how did that lunch go.

Well i had better go and do some work, i now have an abscess on my tooth so cant go to the dentist until that settles down and i feel like crap. i am dentist phobic so going to look for a dentist that will knock me out. Those dentists from my childhood surely have a lot to answer for.

Big waves to everyone.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], that’s great that restaurants are for food for you, and not for drinking! That’s one less habit to break. For me, they trigger drinking: beer with fish fry, wine with Italian, beer with Mexican ...I’m working on making it about food now.

I’m not a huge root beer fan, but craving sugar at this point, and can’t handle caffeine later in the day or it keeps me awake, so choices are narrowed. I thought it was nice that the restaurant served their “craft root beer” in a special way like they normally do just alcohol.

Lots of talk about planning the wedding party next weekend, about the old-fashioned stand and the Bloody Mary bar and all the various beers & spiked sparkling waters...ugh. At least it’s outdoors instead of being stuck in a room, and there will be yard games and a playground. I sound like a kid. At least it’s only one afternoon and evening, and I’ll have my own car.

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], congratulations on going strong at almost two years. I’m glad that you see it as such a positive.
Your heat sounds very draining! An outdoor cold water soaking tub, interesting.

[MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION], sorry the party was irritating. I have two people in my life who talk incessantly and don’t stop to take a breath so you can’t get into the “conversation”, one being my mother (the other an old friend; college roommate). Actually I just love to talk/listen to chatty people, but not so much with these two who can only talk nonstop and never listen.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo,was just thinking that my non stop talk customers usually have the WORST breath too haha!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was a hot, humid & rainy Sunday here. Heatwave #2 is in progress, yuck!

Byrdie, sorry about that party bore, ha ha! I have a sister-in-law who consistently finishes your sentences for you (annoying) & leaves half of her sentences unfinished...……….(boring).

Wags, I am sure you are feeling proud right now & you should too I hope your heatwave ends soon.

Going out to eat & not ordering a glass of wine felt awkward in the beginning. Now it's just typical of me to order unsweetened iced tea or sparkling water, no problem. It's takes a little time but you'll find it gets easier & easier.

Slo, I think stating your attention to remain AF for the wedding was a smart idea. Use that to help empower yourself so you can enjoy the wedding & not worry about AL.

Hello to Ava with the sore toot, Pauly, Pav, NS & everyone checking in.

We have carpet installers arriving early tomorrow morning, yay. I will be happy when all this home improvement stuff is done & I can finally put things back where they belong, haha!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[frances]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all - back after being out of town again for the weekend - two more weeks and softball season is over and then we get ready to send my youngest off to college. Hard to believe! Our trips out of town have been for softball tournaments and the parents always sit around drinking in the evenings. It's a new team for us and I don't know them well - got offered numerous times to have a drink and said no thanks I have my tea - - one person even said "Boring!"...I just laughed and didn't respond. Felt a little odd but it truly didn't bother me so that's good. The last tournament of the season is at Myrtle Beach - I'm looking forward to being at the beach!

I read back some but couldn't get to all the posts - everyone sounds pretty good from what I saw. Ava I saw that you were going to look into the app, and Pav mentioned Overdrive. that's one that I first learned about but when I went to the local library to pay off a fine so I would be able to check out books, they recommended Libby which is also by Overdrive - I think they are both available in the app store but she said Libby was more user friendly. Anyway I was going to recommend audiobooks if you think you might enjoy that - I have been listening while driving alone. I checked out an audiobook called Life Reimagined about mid-life - - I think I'm going through some depression and other things related to both menopause and mid-life and I'm enjoying the book so far - it certainly helps to know that what I'm experiencing is so common. And the book I'm reading the "regular" way that I checked out is Big Little Lies. I'm enjoying that a lot so far too (just started). I think I won't need to worry too much about books not being available there are so many I haven't read already.

Have a great Monday everyone!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

The truth is that when I look back, my life is so much different than when I was drinking, in little ways, big ways, and little ways that add up to big ways. There is so much more that I got from not drinking other than just physical and mental health. The freedom opened up so many other paths for me that I didn't even know existed, so I didn't even know were missing.

I agree with this on every level PAV. Especially that paths I didn't even know existed opened up. Great words!

I stumbled upon a statement I made in an early email to a MWO member in 2014 (!), looking for something else in my archives. It is filled with desperation and fear:

"I don't know what I want any more. I don't want to die early due to my drinking choices. I don't want to be absent to my kids or be unable to cook dinner and be more prone to fighting with hubs. But I'm really afraid of the effort it will take to stop - and afraid of the person I will become. Afraid my relationship with hubs will not last - afraid I will be depressed. Afraid I will turn my life on its head. Afraid I will have to find all new friends. I'm so spent with my current responsibilities already."

I have to say that going through all this stuff was not easy. But in hindsight, it wasn't even close to as hard as I thought it would be. Once I committed to giving up alcohol, and gave it some time... things began to fall into place. My life didn't turn on its head - it got better, and better..... and better. I am so thankful I faced these fears and decided to have a better life. It takes some time and willingness to feel yucky for awhile, but, as they say here... "the only way out is through", and "through" wasn't nearly as terrible as I had imagined it. Just one day at a time friends. You can do this!!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Kensho! That's how I felt - so afraid. I was afraid I would be judged, that I wouldn't have fun, that my friends would feel and be awkward around me, that I couldn't stay sober. So much unwarranted fear! Luckily my fear of alcohol became stronger and pushed me through that to the other side. Definitely easy, but relatively simple - Just. Don't. Drink. Then set yourself up to make that true. Glad you're feeling good and confident.

Slo - having your own car is key. I have gotten so I don't mind big drinking events if they're fun in other ways, but I ALWAYS, even 4.5 years later, have an exit strategy. If I need, I go home. It turns out not everyone misses me (how dare they!). I hope it is fun.

Byrdie - that is the one thing that does drive me bonkers. The worst is if the bore is also drunk (although then they're easier to shed). I was out with my sister on Friday night and a bunch of her old friends showed up (they had been drinking all night). My sister was buzzed so she jumped right in, but they annoyed the crap out of me. I left early claiming a headache (which at that point was true), and I'm sure they didn't miss me. My sister said she had a hangover on Saturday for the first time in a long time - I really don't miss feeling like that!

Off to work. A busy week ahead!

Happy SOBER Monday. So happy to not have the GSR brothers with me...

xo
Pav

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! I had a great, not productive, sober weekend. That's all that matters. lots of reading and down time so in my book it was a win-win! I'll have to read back. Have a great start to the week everyone.

Oh, and I'm at the point I'm craving sweets LIKE CRAZY! I know it's from the sugar I'm not getting in my alcohol. I've never been a sweet eating person, I like salty snacks. I just can't get enough!

I'm also having the weirdest dreams. Those used to happen immediately but they're just starting at 2 1/2 weeks.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I'm exhausted but happy. We've just had floors refinished & new carpeting installed in the bedrooms. Now we are in the process of dragging all the furniture back into the house from the garage. This is not an easy task for people of granny age, ha ha! We did what we could & are expecting our son sometime tomorrow to help with the really heavy stuff. After all - he owes us, LOL

I signed up to receive the DailyOM newsletter many years ago. So many of them have been inspirational to me. Here's todays, I think it might help some folks here -
DailyOM - Creative Cuts

Frances, I think you may really like the newsletter at this point in your life

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Over-it, that is great that you are still pushing forward, and recognizing that it’s ok to rest. My sugar cravings have been crazy too, but finally not quite as bad yesterday as they have been. But I’m taking two strong chewable l-glutamines each day.

I was getting down in the dumps yesterday, and wanting to give this up, so I added in GABA Calm tablets that dissolve under the tongue, and they seemed to help.

Probably the biggest help though was having lunch with my daughter #1, and opening up about my alcoholism and being able to talk about my worries. We were also able to talk about other family things going on and also about the changes in her & her husband’s lives (new job, having to move, selling one house & buying another), and it was just nice to be able to have a heart-to-heart.

My Sobrenix that [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] recommended came in the mail yesterday too, and I tried it and that seems helpful & calming too!

[MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION], I’m just lucky that I’ll have my own car on Saturday because it’s needed to haul stuff. But I feel better knowing that I can leave when/if it gets to be too much. I like your strategy of always protecting yourself with the means to leave! It seems like a good way to protect your sobriety. Does that mean that you & your husband drive separately to events?

[MENTION=7263]frances[/MENTION], I’m sorry you had to endure a cutting comment about not drinking alcohol, and in front of everybody who was there and drinking. Good for you that you are strong enough to not let it bother you!

Thanks to all of you with time under your belts who have expressed that you really feel that your lives are better without alcohol! It is encouraging.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all;

I just read my previous post. What I meant to say was: This is NOT easy, but it is relatively simple. I do sometimes under-emphasize the work I do to stay sober with my immediate friends and family (not intentionally, I just don't go into detail). No, this is NOT easy...

Slo - either we take two cars, or I tell him ahead of time that if I need to leave I will and he can find another way home. We live in a relatively small town, so a Lyft isn't too expensive or he can often get a ride from someone else. Or, many times, he just comes home with me. I haven't had to leave early too many times, but once I was stuck somewhere and really, really don't want to go back there...

Lav, I'm impressed. Moving furniture is no joke. Congratulations on your new flooring! Thanks for the link.

Hope the new job went well today, Narilly.

Glad you got some down time, Overit. I ate a lot of ice cream that first year. It was my treat to myself. Others will say you should avoid sugar so you don't keep that part of your brain alive, but I still was in the mode of needing a reward and I felt ok as long as it wasn't booze.

Happy SOBER Tuesday,

Pav

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! another day in the books. I actually found myself wondering this morning if I could ever moderate. What's wrong with moderation, right? Oh how quickly we forget. I can't moderate. How many times have I told myself I could only to end up worse than before. This AL brain just never gives up does it?

Along with my worst year ever in my life (remember I never even started drinking until I was 35) of drinking, I started smoking again. Something I thought I would NEVER do. I knew that if I picked up just one cigarette it was over. Just that thought kept me nicotine free for 10 years. Well, today is the day to stop that nonsense again. I know some may think too much at once but I'm really over having to "hide" in my lies. No one knows I smoke. I'm using the patch which worked before so wish me luck.

I hope everyone has a great day.