Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just, had a bad day yesterday. Deeply tired & depressed. Not sleeping well, maybe cut down on the GABAcalm. Back to my baseline of being tired, depressed, & anxious.
Ruminating over FIL’s sudden death in January so soon after MILs in October, and my part in it (agreeing with the doctor to do the procedure that killed him, and also staying out of it earlier -when more conservative treatment might’ve worked- when he yelled at me for trying to talk to him about his condition). That all comes back now as SILs come to town today to settle estate with their brothers and start clearing out the house.
So getting into small amounts of alcohol in near beers and spiking water with bitters.
I feel more rested today.

Thanks for taking the time to reply about your strategies Pav.

Lav, maybe your floor project has had the added benefit of helping you to re-organize and clear clutter.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,Slo,you gotta get rid of that guilt you couldn't predict that procedure would kill him and if that's what the doc was suggesting too then you went with what you thought was right,I heard something like"guilt from the past,keeps you drunk today" or something like that,just not getting over guilt and peeps drink it away,I feel tremendous guilt over my brother's death cuz of something I did to blow apart his idea of what marriage was supposed to be years ago,still feel like an asshole but when I truly think of it he'd made his choice about his end decision long ago Overit,yep,I'd always need a hair of the dog to steady my hand,,thats the# one thing that pisses hubs off when I've drank,it totally disgusts him and honestly the guy should work for the CIA or ATF cuz he catches me EVERY time! So humiliating and I don't want that ugly life anymore,have a fabulous Friday all

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters. I am still here and kind of lurking as I find it stressful to answer each post like many of you do. I think its great but for me its overwhelming. Slo, I get the guilt thing, but in reality , guilt is just another excuse to keep drinking. Pretty much anything is an excuse to keep drinking, death of a loved one, sickness, birthdays, New Years, depression,financial loss, health issues and the list goes on and on. Happy reasons as well as sad reasons. Any damned reason in fact. Until we make our mind up to STOP the drinking, we will keep racking up excuses to continue. My signature non alcoholic drink is Diet Coke with a twist of lime. No one knows what I have in that drink and its none of their business. I have lost some friends since i quit drinking years ago (not mentioning this recent slip up cuz it was a secret). Those friends that I lost were heavy drinkers. I dont think they stopped talking and hanging out with me because i turned boring, but because I was a threat to them since I was not drinking. Its their issue, Not mine. Hope everyone has a wonderful friday!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] and [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION], thank you for your very wise & kind responses.
I’m having a better day today, more rested & sane. I think I was trying to eat too low-carb too.
Thank you, your comments were very helpful.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just, had a bad day yesterday. Deeply tired & depressed. Not sleeping well, maybe cut down on the GABAcalm. Back to my baseline of being tired, depressed, & anxious. Ruminating over FIL’s sudden death in January so soon after MILs in October, and my part in it (agreeing with the doctor to do the procedure that killed him, and also staying out of it earlier -when more conservative treatment might’ve worked- when he yelled at me for trying to talk to him about his condition). That all comes back now as SILs come to town today to settle estate with their brothers and start clearing out the house.

Hi, Slo I follow Lin-Manuel Miranda on Twitter because he posts such kind and thoughtful welcomes to the morning and good-nights. I think he was writing to you today:

Lin-Manuel MirandaVerified account @Lin_Manuel 7h7 hours agoMore
Gmorning.How long are you going to keep carrying that one conversation in your heart?
The one where you said or did the exact wrong thing?
It’s DONE.
Nothing left but to learn.
Drag it to the trash file.
Click ‘empty trash’
Yes, you’re sure. Click.

Free up that heart of yours

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m having a better day today, more rested & sane. I think I was trying to eat too low-carb too.

I'm glad you're feeling better today, Slo. It is a pretty big adjustment to reduce carbs -- your body has to rev up the machinery to burn a different type of fuel and that can take a couple weeks. Plus --- you need to be sure to get enough of that "new" fuel and most people are afraid to eat fat, which can result in not taking in enough calories. Also, most people need to consume considerably more salt than they usually do when they reduce the carbs. Without that, and without allowing the time to adapt to burning fat, you'll feel bad.

Maybe concentrating on being AF now and dealing with any fall-out from a raging sweet tooth later would be a good option. I cut out sugar and reduced carbs years ago --- and my wine drinking really ramped up (kind of the opposite of what people report here). When we take something away that our brain likes, it is going to throw a fit to get that desired hit one way or the other! Looking back, I would have done things differently. The wine was probably the main culprit causing insulin resistance anyway!!

Take care and have a good weekend, NS

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters. I am still here and kind of lurking as I find it stressful to answer each post like many of you do. I think its great but for me its overwhelming.

Rava-I can't comment on each one either. I admire those who do but like you said, if I had to, I wouldn't be here and that's not the point. I just read all the posts and gain as much insight as I can.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Happy Friday to all!
I had a nice productive day sans grandkids, ha ha! I do love having them over but not every single day (been there, done that)

Slo, I hear you & understand how some of us just have a harder time dealing with guilt. Were you raised Catholic by any chance like I was? Boy oh boy...….guilt was heaped on our plates day in & day out. I tried so hard to rid myself of guilty feelings about things but really didn't know how because it was so ingrained. The reality is guilt serves no purpose but to keep us stuck where we are. That does not serve us when we are trying so darn hard to change our lives, improve our health & relationships. Practice just letting it go, nothing bad will happen & you can continue to grow & work on your new self :hug:
Remember that people will say & do things in their grief that just may not be true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Rava & overit, no need to respond to each & every post. I used to try harder to do that but sometimes battling granny brain is just too much, Lol
The most important thing is that you are checking in daily, making yourself accountable & maybe picking up some helpful tips along the way

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

I think so too Lav,each and every post is valuble of course but trying to comment on each one would be hard! Best to check in and be accountable for ourselves is the most important thing

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All--

NS helped me give up responding to everyone a long time ago. I just sort of write and reflect and respond mostly to the ones I can remember (and I don't have granny brain to thank!) I'm off to visit some friends this weekend and extend it at that. I'll probably not post until I return on Wednesday - happy weekend, everyone!

I hope you had a good week at work, Narilly!

xo
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like a pretty slow day in the nest. I hope everyone is OK & just busy having a terrific AF weekend.

Rain all day long here in these parts, wind, more rain & thunder storms on the way. It gave me a good excuse to unpack more boxes. We have so much unnecessary stuff in our lives & unfortunately have to find a place to put it away. How many sets of china does one household really need? Ugh, ha ha!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. Anyone living in the mid-west - stay safe with all the tornadoes whipping up, geez!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm so sorry I haven't been on here very regularly over the past few weeks. I'm totally fine, not gonna drink for sure. In fact, I'll be celebrating 2 years AF on Tuesday! I've just been overwhelmingly busy and kind of lost my morning/evening time to read and post on here with any routine. Yesterday I made a decision and took steps to lighten my emotional and physical workload, and I can already feel a sense of relief.

Today, I'm going to read back and catch up on everyone over the past 4-5 days since I last posted, and I'm making a commitment to you all that I'll get back on here daily or very close to that. I know it helps me when I do, and I know it helps the nest community in general when lots of people are "regulars" so to speak.

I hope you're all having fantastic weekends and i look forward to seeing all of the good news you've been sharing recently.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=21027]wagmore[/MENTION], I wondered where you were but it didn't even cross my mind that you might be drinking - because you don't drink! :hug:

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I thought I was ready to be sober, but I chose to drink at my daughter’s wedding reception. Thanks to everyone who helped me get two weeks+ sober.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION], yes I was raised Catholic; Catholic elementary school and weekly church, but thankfully only Vatican 2 Catholic. My mother was raised in a large, punitive Catholic family. I found out later in life that my great grandmother was left with nuns as a 7-year-old for Catholic training while her family continued on to the Dakota territories —no wonder she was so mean!