Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone! I’m alive and well. Been a very demanding week and I’m not sure why I didn’t check in to be honest. I have to be more diligent. I have things to share but not tonight. I’m so glad to be a sober person. And it’s very hard to watch people drink themselves stupid. That it all for tonight. Sleep well.

[mywayin]

Re: Newbies Nest

I chose to drink at my daughter’s wedding reception.

Hey Slo, the exact same thing happened to me. After 1 1/2 years AF, at my daughter's wedding, she says come on Mom, it's my wedding, please have a glass of champagne and celebrate. It took me over a year to get back on the wagon! But it's great, I've been Af for 5 months now and life is so much better

You don't have to wait 1 1/2 years though, just count it as a slip, get right back on that horse and stay close to the nest !

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION]. I really appreciate your honesty. The fact that you are right back to the nest shows that you want to be sober. Slip ups do happen. Get right back up again, dust yourself off and move on. You have 2 weeks under your belt and thats something to be proud of. Don’t spend the day feeling ashamed. Feel proud that you are right back again working on sobriety. Just keep moving.....You got this!!!

[abcowboy]

I could be wrong [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], but I think you'd pretty much convinced yourself that you'd drink at the wedding. And many of us did the very same thing, "I'll never get through this without a drink". The problem is that we'll face situations like that for the rest of our lives and we have to find a way to get through them without drinking. To be honest, I would find it tough as well to try and quit right before any major function, but quit we must regardless of the circumstance.

I also want to applaud you on coming right back, I have seen such a good change in you since we first started conversing. I know your desire to quit for good is there, we just have to find a way to keep that desire stronger than the desire to drink, and I know you can do it!

Time to get my trusty side-kick out, don't worry, he's gentle as all get out cause I was in and out of his saddle many, many times myself!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Actually I was just posting to explain why I was leaving instead of just disappearing, then move on to harm reduction; but it would be better to stay and get back on [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION]’s horse. Continuing to try for moderation/occasional drinking on special occasions is not really a good idea for me since I again failed to drink with any kind of control, and certainly did not stick to no more than one drink per hour as I told myself I would.

I’m getting much better at no longer wanting to drink at home, and being ok with not drinking at restaurants, but social occasions is the big hard one yet, as I’m sure it is for lots of us. I’m just socially awkward, introverted, and get uptight & nervous; so yes I defaulted again to what works for me and was able to be more smooth, friendly, outgoing & conversational. It’s a steep learning curve for me to learn how to do this without my magic elixir, but I’ll have to learn how to do it to some degree. Otherwise I’m just heading towards problems like liver disease.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,Cowboy we can't speculate on what went on in Slo's mind when she went to the wedding,she may have gone in with the best intentions,I know I did before I went home last,if anybody told me I'd be drinking during that trip a few days earlier I'd have laughed in their faces cuz honestly I thought I had everything in place Slo,don't be leaving,harm reduction DOES NOT WORK for drinkers like us,get backup on Cowboys horse there(I've used him myself and he is gentle) and stick around,we're here for each other thru the good,bad and ugly.

[abcowboy]

You’re right Pauly, I probably assumed some things, and we all know what that does! However, I don’t think I was far off the mark based on personal experience and conversations...

Great to hear you’re sticking around Slo, nows the time to get all the help and support you can...

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Actually I was just posting to explain why I was leaving instead of just disappearing, then move on to harm reduction; but it would be better to stay and get back on @abcowboy’s horse. Continuing to try for moderation/occasional drinking on special occasions is not really a good idea for me since I again failed to drink with any kind of control, and certainly did not stick to no more than one drink per hour as I told myself I would.

I’m getting much better at no longer wanting to drink at home, and being ok with not drinking at restaurants, but social occasions is the big hard one yet, as I’m sure it is for lots of us. I’m just socially awkward, introverted, and get uptight & nervous; so yes I defaulted again to what works for me and was able to be more smooth, friendly, outgoing & conversational. It’s a steep learning curve for me to learn how to do this without my magic elixir, but I’ll have to learn how to do it to some degree. Otherwise I’m just heading towards problems like liver disease.

By being considerate of us, [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] (thank you!), you may have saved yourself the heartache of trying unsuccessfully to moderate. I doubt that many people here had a first and final quit. Getting past addition generally involves stops and starts with the goal being to get back to where you want to be as quickly as possible. Avoid the temptation to think, well since I blew it on Saturday, I'll start again on Monday. I did that so many times and usually, Monday never came.

Welcome back! :hug:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Congratulations Rava on 30 days af, great work. I was so proud of myself at 30 days and even though its an age ago i still remember the struggle of the first month plus. Please dont not post as you cant remember everyone. If you notice the ones that are accountable daily have been around for damn years and now we only have to remember one name at a time when we post not lots and lots. We always like to help in any way we can as no one gets an alkie like another alkie.

Slo, great work on coming back. i avoided social situations like the plague when i stopped drinking. Like you, in my early days and sober for 11 days, my daughter had her hens night and i drank and she was getting married a few weeks later and i drank and it then took me 3 weeks to stop completely. Me and al in social situations was not a good combination. i had not learnt the tools to be around al and not drink, that al voice would overtake every rational thought i possessed to not drink so for me i had to stay home and heal. it was easier than putting myself out their to fail even though i had the best intentions not to drink.

I had a nice couple of ME days that were much needed and then went to the SO's. Not easy waking at 5am to start Monday but as per usual i woke without a hangover so life is good.

Nar, how is your new job going?

Lav, i hope the weather settles down for you soon, you seem to be getting some extremes.

Back to the salt mines, take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It's been a multiple T storm kinda day around here with tons of rain. I probably should have put the life vests on my chickens

Slo, despite drinking a bit I truly hope you enjoyed the wedding. Seeing my daughter get married was exciting yet it made me a bit sad at the same time.
Glad you came right back to the nest & it's awesome that Cowboy has his horse right here for you
You have the tools to get yourself back on your plan. Please don't worry about drinking at future social events. Those events haven't happened yet & by the time they do you will be much stronger in your quit. It does get easier to say No as time moves on, promise.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm so sorry I haven't been on here very regularly over the past few weeks. I'm totally fine, not gonna drink for sure. In fact, I'll be celebrating 2 years AF on Tuesday! I've just been overwhelmingly busy and kind of lost my morning/evening time to read and post on here with any routine. Yesterday I made a decision and took steps to lighten my emotional and physical workload, and I can already feel a sense of relief.

Today, I'm going to read back and catch up on everyone over the past 4-5 days since I last posted, and I'm making a commitment to you all that I'll get back on here daily or very close to that. I know it helps me when I do, and I know it helps the nest community in general when lots of people are "regulars" so to speak.

I hope you're all having fantastic weekends and i look forward to seeing all of the good news you've been sharing recently.

Curious what steps you are taking to lighten the load

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good sober evening. Glad I had my Antabuse because I was bored and hot all weekend having drinking thoughts. Pushed through and glad another day is in the books. It's crazy how my brain can convince me that just one drink, just this one night would be fine. Who am I kidding? It would last AT LEAST a week! Not doing so well on the smoking front but I'll get there.

Ab, I understand what you're saying because when I have not drank at social events, I had decided ahead of time. When I did drink at them, I had definitely planned it and looked forward to it and convinced myself it was going to be understandable. When I did plan and stay sober I might have been miserable and itchy but SO proud being able to drive myself home!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi! [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], I'm glad you're here! I have felt socially awkward and introverted my whole life. It has been one of the things I've had to re-wire in my brain to NOT need alcohol for. Now, I tend to feel more confident generally and care less what others think. But those times (like my awards ceremony last week) when I feel absolutely anti-social... I just leave. I didn't socialize much in the beginning, I sat at the table during the awards, and then I told my fried that I was leaving. We are not wrong for needing personal time and not always feeling confident in crowds. I agree with AVA about avoiding the triggers in the beginning (not that you could have avoided your daughter's wedding), but as much as you can. The longer you don't drink, the easier all of the hard things will become. I promise.

Hi Overit. I had an occasional thought last week too. Must be in the air. Glad you took the AB.

LAV, we had a life vest issue earlier today too... a micro-burst when we were on the lake made it crazy to paddle back! It was crazy for about 10 minutes! We got home safely though.

Yesterday was out 8th annual "bike-n-brew" bike tour through our town. When we first did them, we rode 20 miles around town over the course of the afternoon/evening and tasted beers at our many local breweries. It has been a downfall of my sobriety more than once. However, the last two years, I abstained completely and tried to enjoy the ride and company of my girlfriend who also doesn't drink much, and we broke away from the crowd several times. Each year I drank less, and all the men drank more. Last year one of our participants was so drunk that he fell on his bike and ended up in the hospital for a couple nights. This year, the others promised to "take it easy" and have "only one" or "just a taste" at each stop. My sweet husband gulped two high percentage beers at the first brewery in the first 20 minutes. I knew he was in that mood early in the day when he was in "don't do anything that gets in my way of drinking" mode. I could just tell. He got so drunk that he fell on his bike in an intersection. Luckily, he was ok. I was FURIOUS with him and lost my temper. Which doesn't work much with a drunk person. But today I told him more than once that I want no future part of his binge drinking, and that I don't support any behavior that endangers his life. I was disgusted. He drinks maybe 6 drinks a week otherwise... but once in awhile, I see this spark in him to get absolutely trashed - to just escape and go away into oblivion. I could tell he felt terrible this am.

Anyway - I am glad I am not a drinker.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes, it’s true that I had begun entertaining the idea of drinking through the event the day or two beforehand. I was worn out from worrying about it and couldn’t get out of my funk. Was on the fence the day of battling with myself as it approached, but, if you’re on the fence, pretty obvious which way you’re going to tip.

But I need to carry on though with racking up sober days and becoming a non-drinker, because the amounts I drink are dangerous. And I don’t even suffer with a hangover the next day —a bad sign of how high my tolerance is and how habituated my body is to alcohol.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], when I was in Dallas, TX in June visiting a daughter and we were sitting at an outdoor cafe, a group of guys that didn’t look like bicyclists went by on bikes, one was weaving and then suddenly fell and went down splat on the road very hard -no effort to break his fall or anything. Then the other two had to quick get off their bikes and haul him off the road and out of traffic. That must’ve been a bike & brew! What a dumb concept to pair biking with getting drunk.

And how scary & frustrating for you that it’s your husband who’s the one doing the falling in the middle of the intersection!

Good for you for mastering the ability to participate in such a thing and not drink.
Frustrating though that your non-drinking during it hasn’t rubbed off on your husband and caused him to slow down.