Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Curious what steps you are taking to lighten the load

The most specific thing I did was to reconsider a recent client request, to recognize the red flags I was seeing that this person was going to require more mental, physical and emotional energy than I have available right now (or, truly, can afford to dedicate to a single client), and I politely declined the opportunity to work with her. This one was a real doozie and I could tell from early interactions that I would be dealing with one of those people who love you when you do things their way but then lash out at you and/or blame you when either you do the slightest thing differently than they wanted or they themselves drop the ball.

I'm self-employed and I have a slow period of work coming up in Sept/Oct (a planned 3-week break actually) so I've put a lot of pressure on myself to earn extra income in advance so I won't stress out as much while I'm earning very little for almost a month. However, I've realized that if I burn myself out, I won't be able to work at all and/or I'll make mistakes with current clients - either of which would do far more damage than simply taking a planned break.

This year seems to be my year to practice the skills for setting and holding boundaries that honor *me* rather than always putting others needs ahead of my own. I know this isn't hard for some people, but it seems to be one of my biggest life lessons, and I know it relates to some of why I used to drink. Funny how things are all connected, huh?

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - I hear you about being busy. You and I seem to share a lot of things due to our self-employment. I hope you're able to ease up a bit in the near future. We have those bike n brew rides here too. Good for you on both staying AF and talking directly to your husband about how you can't enable his choices.

Ava - glad to hear you're finding some relief from lovely menopause symptoms. I'm right around that same time of life and it is so NOT-fun some days. I get these waves of sadness that seem to come out of nowhere, and I feel lucky that I know they are hormonal and if I hang in there they will pass relatively quickly. I think I also have a shorter temper, although that might be more just residual side-effect from living in a very stressful and negative time in political/social history.

Byrdie - hope you had a wonderful AF time at the wedding. Must be nice to travel for something other than work!

Slo - really glad you came back right away, and thanks to ABCowboy for offering the horse to climb right back on. Social events are a big challenge for some of us. Have you thought at all about how to change your strategy or add to your tool kit in order to address those specific trigger situations? I know many of us just avoided social events until our quits became more solid, but that isn't always an option. What are your thoughts on what might work best for you?


Happy Monday-into-Tuesday everyone. Please be sure to stop by my 2 YEAR AF PARTY tomorrow (July 24). Yeehaw!!!

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! Just checking in. I hope everyone has a great sober day!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Boy did we ever have some storm damage last night. Lost two big trees, had rain leak though the kitchen ceiling & one basement wall .
Everything is a big muddy mess out there & my husband hurt his back yesterday so tree removal will have to wait. They're both in the back yard & not in anyone's way.
Between the storm damage & the political/social news I can honestly say I am not my usual chipper self today, LOL

Wags, looking forward to your celebration tomorrow - good for you!
I opened a small embroidery (home based shop) after 29 years in nursing. I enjoyed being self employed for a while, then it got to be a pain. Nothing like having someone knocking on your door on Christmas eve wanting something monogrammed at the last minute, ugh. I closed the biz at the end of the year & am just doing an occasional job for friends, that sort of thing. Retirement the second time is awesome

Kensho, my husband rarely drinks anymore. Once he realized that I was quit for good he slowed way down too. He has one beer sometimes when we go out to eat, that's all. It takes a while but they eventually catch on.

Slo, I hope you are doing OK this week.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION], yes I’m doing ok this week. I’ve been getting out for glorious bike rides in this wonderful summer weather, and it feels great. I can feel that I’m getting stronger. It’s great to finally be able to be active again after total knee replacement surgery last December.

Too bad about the trees, and water leakages -yikes! Maybe you can have your son & son-in-law over sometime for a “tree-cutting-up party”. That’s what my daughter #2 says whenever she wants our help, such as “let’s have a painting party!”, to help them when they were flipping a house. So daughter #1 was poking fun at that last week and saying the two of us were having a “packing party” when we were packing up their house for their move. Next weekend we’re having a “moving day party”!

[MENTION=20472]Overit-still[/MENTION], hope you’re feeling better & getting stronger.

[MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION], hope the family wedding in Missouri went well for you.

[abcowboy]

Congratulations Wags!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], 2 years AF, that is solid!!

It is wonderful to see how strong you are in staying AF, despite being overwhelmingly busy.

Congratulations on your great accomplishment!!

(I haven’t figured out how to post icons yet, but pretend there’s a lot of balloons inserted here)

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], 2 years AF, that is solid!!

It is wonderful to see how strong you are in staying AF despite being overwhelmingly busy.

Congratulations on your great accomplishment!

Aw shucks, thanks Cowboy - you baked me a cake even! Everyone, please help yourself to a slice. For those who need GF or no-sugar versions I'm pretty sure this cake fills the bill

Thanks also Slo! I can hardly believe two years have gone by since the day I poured my last drinks out (actually opened them, then poured them out) over the dredges of our campfire as a symbolic way to signal ENOUGH. Have the last two years been easy? Heck no, they sure haven't been! But let's face it, they weren't hard because I stopped drinking. They would have been hard anyway, and I'm certain (100%) that they would've been harder if I had ever picked up a drink.

Now I'm here two years later, infinitely healthier, more stable (no roller coaster), 730 days with no hangovers, no GSR.

If I can dig my way up and out of the deep dark pit I was in, so can YOU. One day at a time really adds up!

Ok, onward into year #3 :yay:

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations on two years Wags!!!!

[ThirdTimesACharm]

Re: Newbies Nest

Amazing job on the 2 years, Wags!! What a great attitude you have.

I'll be joining you on the 2-year AF wagon in October. See you then!

ThirdTimesACharm

[Roobs]

Re: Newbies Nest

HAPPY, HAPPY 2 Years Wags! Congratulations. Thanks for being a stable force in the nest!

Roobs

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! Just checking in!

Slo-I'm feeling great!

LAV-what a mess! Maybe you need to have a "tree moving party" We'll all come!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to go, [MENTION=21027]wagmore[/MENTION]! Your gratitude for and appreciation of your new life is clear and I think that makes all the difference. Enjoy your day! NS

[Quit wining]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well done Wags! Congratulations on your wonderful achievement!!

QW

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations, dear Wags, on 2 years of freedom! I'm so happy for you and hope you will have a nice celebration today.. I appreciate very much your words of support and wisdom here in the Nest.. big hugs!