Newbies Nest

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=249]overit[/MENTION]-all If you feel too unsafe then don't go.If you do go, bring plenty of AF drinks and stick to them. If you can't stay home. You can always camp next Summer when your stronger in your quit.

I know for me that I can go to bars and not drink, but I know that will come with time and right now I know that I am too vulnerable to trust myself not to drink in them so for now I am avoiding them. This quit is strong, but I want it to be stronger before I do it. I may choose to stay home this weekend and skip the festival since they have it every year. But I never drank there so I should be safe. But I am still going to evaluate to make sure that I can do it.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

UG! What is it about extended family and step-family that just turns the stress up? I feel terrible every time I spend time with these people. I actually thought that a drink might make it easier. But then I decided it was not worth it. Glad they have all gone, and we are back to us here. I need to be around MY people, not those people.

Sorry you're hurting SLO. I thought your mentality around drinking sounded better than it had previously though, so good job there.

Keep it cool BYRDIE - you really need to make cakes. I'm sorry you're so stressed.

I'm headed for the couch.

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

I SO want a drink right now!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I SO want a drink right now!

No, Overit, no more alcohol-hell! You have 40 days in, and that’s a good chunk! You put in the hard yards, so now you’ll never have to slog through those early days again! Trust me, you don’t want to do that again.
Byrdie says to keep your belly full to stave off the need to drink, so can you eat something yummy now?

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks SLO. I'm ok now. Was crawling out of my skin. I went for a walk, bought some junk food, and now indulging in some trashy reality shows

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Overit, I'm really glad you checked in here when you were feeling such strong urges to drink! What do you think it was that triggered the craving? For myself, it is important to have a look at that and deal with it, if necessary.. otherwise it almost always comes back to hit me again. Sometimes it's just an old, habitual thought, but sometimes I need to dig deeper. Great job.. We don't really want to drink!

Slo, great that you could be here to give support! I'm sorry to hear about your knee pain.. and about the weight gain. I know that can be frustrating, but it isn't uncommon (as you know) and after a couple of months, you'll be able to tackle that. I always love it when I read that we don't need to take on everything at once! Step by step, and for at least the first 3 months, the most important thing is sobriety.. Having said that, I know that trying to have a somewhat healthy diet helps me to stay on track.. the sweets help for immediate cravings, but having some nutritional stability helps me in the long run.. more naturally sweetened yogurt instead of ice cream all the time made me feel physically better.. You're doing such a good job and I can also hear a change in your voice.

Lav, thanks for the reminder about inflamtion! I've just begun to have a problem with my left knee.. and it worries me, as my entire life depends on my being very mobile and strong.. so i will try it out with cutting dairy and sugar.. I have heard that before.. and it really helped you, Lav?

Kensho, do you really have to see these people? I know they're family.. but if it's such a torture, couldn't you be "out of town" for an emergency? I don't know.. but I've really become hard with my ex and his expectations of what I should do "for the sake of the girls".. I don't really care anymore if he thinks I'm a bitch or the girls think I'm overreacting.. there are a couple of people I really can not be around.. Anyway, I'm glad they're gone and you're safe and sound and back with your peeps. You are sounding so strong and full of power after your vacay!

Drifty, congrats on the pay raise! Let us know what you do to celebrate! How's the new kitty fitting in? What's his/her name?

Byrdie!!:hug: You definitely don't need that stress.. Is there another department you could transfer to? Is there any other job you could imagine doing instead? How many years do you have till retirement? Sending you tons of strength..

Ava, I hate the wind! It's so windy and cold here, too.. but at least the sun is shining. What's your high temp this time of year? And yes, it sounds like you should be up for a pay raise soon!!

As far as work goes, here, I'm hanging in there.. It's hard physically, but most difficult for me is the mental aspect. I am someone who can get myself so riled up about what's ahead.. and more often than not, the reality is much better than my predictions would have had it be! I try to stay positive and stay in the moment and not make myself sick. Yesterday was good practice.. I forced myself not to panic, to put one foot in front of the other and deal with the task at hand.. stress kills creativity, it puts my mind in a stand still, makes me doubt.. and I've been doing my job long enough, that if I sit back and trust, even if I don't create something new, I go into auto pilot and make something I've done before often, and that is still really good.

My biggest problem now is that I'm feeling ancient. I'm spending the whole day looking at 30 year olds and when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I think egads! Who is that?! It seems like I've aged 5 years in the past 1 year!:happy2: I guess that's ok if it's my biggest problem, right?
But really, that is a bit of a problem with my job.. my immediate co-workers are just a bit younger than me.. but everyone else is so young! And even though I feel it most of the time, I'm not. And our goals, lifestyles, etc. are so different.
I need to find a way to change my role a bit. Maybe. I want to be confident with what I have already accomplished, ok with where I am, not striving for "more" because it's what the others are doing.. I'm happy with where I am and the pressure to "do more" is annoying and comes from within myself, I guess..
I'll be 49 in December and I feel a huge need to figure it all out this year.. before I turn 50. Ha! Instead, I'd like to chill out and enjoy the beginning of my 7th -7 year cycle of life!

Anyway, Big Hugs to all of you!! NS, Pav, G-man, Nar, Pauly, Rava.. anyone I've missed!
xx

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning nesters. I am back to Day 1. I hate being back to this again and again and again. My quit started off strong and then I let my cravings take over. I didn’t fight them as hard as I should have. I am humbly coming back with my tail between my legs starting over. Need to plan this day out to stay AF.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,
Been away on vacation, college dorm shopping, monitoring daughter and boyfriend, dealing with other teen issues, work, husband....and on and on.

Yesterday the thought of taking a "little" drink crossed my mine. I asked myself "what the hell are you thinking?" But I realized that I have not logged on here in a while. I have been lurking and reading a bit, but not enough. So I came on, read a little and then it was time to cook dinner. Fortunately that stupid thought passed. I'm at 158 days. the next couple of weeks getting son off to college are going to be brutal. it is not time to "lose my sh*t"!

I'm going to spend some time reading back now. [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION], keep trying. it will click eventually. It is the rare person here that doesn't rack up a bunch of day ones. It happens. But when the urge strikes, 1) come and post here. 2) distract yourself till the urge is gone. 3) think through the drinking until the inevitable end (GSRs, sick, embarrassed, etc)

Take care all...

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to use MWO like it's meant to be used, @Overit-still and way to be here for her, @Slo! The only way for an online forum to work is to get on here and ask for help or be available to give it, just like you guys did. Maybe that is something you could add to your personal toolbox, @Rava. Get on here and post before you drink and save yourself from the self-loathing and despair. This can be your last day 1 if you want to quit more than you want to drink. The tools and support are here for you :hug:.

@lifechange, I wanted to quit drinking before I turned 50 and failed, so you've got that going for you already!! Please don't compare yourself to people and especially not to people who are younger than you! I think you're lucky to work with them anyway - we tend to act like people around us and it will keep you frisky :smile:! And who knows, they probably appreciate your perspective given your extra years of experience. Several of my friends are 5-10 years older than me and I like learning from them. Now I need to find some younger ones to get me going!

Glad you let that dumb thought to drink go, @BelleGirl! My drinking escalated when my kids moved up and out (1. fewer witnesses and 2. existential abyss w/ loss of important role :confusion. It is great that you're getting this under control before the big life changes that are ahead.

Have a great day, Nesters! xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

OVERIT! It is amazing that you came here first while you were in the craving. I think that is a great way to use MWO. I'm glad Slo was hear to chat, and very glad you resisted. Congratulations on 40 days! Keep them rolling. One good diversion I found was reading sober blogs and/or watching videos. The Rain in Your Heart documentaries are terrible but effective in helping me not want to drink. I also love the sober blogs and books.

Belle - You, too. Glad you came here to vent instead of drinking. It sounds like your son decided to go away to college rather than stay at home? Mine is off in the fall as well. I am SO excited for him, and also jealous. I suddenly want to go back to college, pick new things to study, join some clubs, etc. I guess I'll just have to live on his experiences, at least those he tells me about (which means I'll have to get him to talk about them...)

LC - What is your work? Maybe you don't want to say and that's all ok. I work in schools and I remember the very day that I realized I was no longer in the "young teachers" group. I still am lucky in that I have met friends of all ages, but I wasn't in the "group" that were all going somewhere together because of my age. I don't think that means I can't be creative and innovative (in my work) - I just have to prove to the younguns that I'm not an old dinosaur.

Byrdie - I'm worried about you! I hope you're taking good care of yourself in between the terrible work moments.

Alison - Hang in there!

Rava - What happened? What can you learn from, and how can you do things differently next time??

The fox showed up again yesterday. Maybe it is like a white car - once you start thinking about them, you notice them more? Anyway - I'm going to dig into some reading about that.

Hi, everyone else!

Happy SOBER Hump DAy,

Pav

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good sober morning everyone! Yes, I came here first! I've always heard everyone say that but I always thought "well if I want to drink, why in the world would I come here first where everyone will stop me or make me feel guilty if I do?" But that's exactly what I needed. I HAD to go walk my pup and I was going to get a Diet 7-Up which is my go to AF drink but our 2 convenience stores here sell beer and hard alcohol so I was afraid I would buy a bottle too. So, that's when I posted first. After my walk I felt so much better. I think I was just bored mostly. Someone had mentioned instead of camping to go to a water park or something, we don't have anything like that here. We live in the sticks. There is a town 35 miles away that has a Walmart but that's about it. Another town 1 1/2 hours down the windy canyon will get you a mall and a movie theater. Other than that, 2 1/2 hours the other way to get to a place that has all conveniences. Don't get me wrong, that's why I live here. You have to be active and enjoy the outdoors in order to do anything which is great. But at the same time.......

Anyway, my head is on straight today. Thanks again to SLO for being here. I knew what I needed to hear but I just needed to hear it from someone.

Have a great day everyone.

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

OVERIT! It is amazing that you came here first while you were in the craving. I think that is a great way to use MWO. I'm glad Slo was hear to chat, and very glad you resisted. Congratulations on 40 days! Keep them rolling. One good diversion I found was reading sober blogs and/or watching videos. The Rain in Your Heart documentaries are terrible but effective in helping me not want to drink. I also love the sober blogs and books.

Pav

I love watching Intervention. Just seeing what I could so easily become is eye opening. I feel each of their pain. We all know what they are going through.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Over-it - Congrats on 40+ days! And great that you're recognizing your own internal temptation to drink because "nobody would know" - except that YOU would know, and you're obviously aware of that. Do whatever is best for you. Maybe that is taking a pass on the camping, or maybe it's taking it as an opportunity to go and have an AF camping experience. I'm sure you'll make a good decision.

Kensho - those were some great things you learned from the weekend!

Alison - congrats on the raise!!!

Byrdie - oh Byrdie, I feel so bad for you that work is so stressful. Anything we can do to help you cope or problem solve?

Slo - I'm intrigued about the book recommendation you mentioned from NS. I'll read back through to find it, but if you happen to see this message would you post the title again or PM me? I've been thinking that much of my back pain is aggravated by diet-induced inflammation, and I'd love to look into this resource.

NS - thanks for the recommendation Slo mentioned (and if you see this first, maybe you'd re-post the title??? )


Happy Hump Day/Eve everyone! Stay cool, or warm, or dry, or fox-free, depending on where you are

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - I'm intrigued about the book recommendation you mentioned from NS. I'll read back through to find it, but if you happen to see this message would you post the title again or PM me? I've been thinking that much of my back pain is aggravated by diet-induced inflammation, and I'd love to look into this resource.

It’s called “7 Steps to a Pain Free Life” by Robin McKenzie. The link is not too far back.
I stupidly injured my perfectly good, never-injured back by sleeping on a couch for too long. Then slouched my way through the first half of this year in my chair recovering from too much alcohol, then fatigue from trying to get off of alcohol, on & on, over & over again. (And recovering from knee replacement surgery.) Turns out, once you injure your back, you can’t slouch anymore!
The book is helping me enormously, and I just started the exercises yesterday. Thanks, @No Sugar!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have about 10 minutes until a conference call but wanted to thank everyone for being here and listening to my constant complaining. I need to stop doing that so much!!
Things are piling on a bit and I realize that for many an alkie, when the going gets tough, the alkie gets drunk! So I am checking in every day, I'd hate to think what would happen if I didn't....as they say, Absence makes the heart go wander! I'm sticking close! With any luck, I may be able to retire at the end of this year, that's what I'm hoping, so I keep telling myself, just a little bit longer....as I say in my byline below, all I gotta do is get thru THIS day!
Hugs to all, stay strong! Life is 1000 times better SOBER! Byrdie