Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi All. I don't know where the hours are going... I can't seem to get anything in particularly done but the days are moving! Kids start school tomorrow, so I'm thinking I may have a less chaotic schedule. (fingers crossed).

NS, I really like kombucha, and I did make it for a couple cycles, but it doesn't agree with me either, like LAV. I also really have trouble with dairy, like LAV - we must have similar gut situations. HA!

I'm in a mood to evaluate things in my life right now, and revise or let go of things that are not working for me. Simplify, and spend time on things that have a return on investment - not waste time on unnecessary stuff. I have to say the family isn't too keen on the things I'm asking them to do, but they are old enough to make their own coffee and lunch (husband), get own breakfast (kids) and help with Laundry and dishes. I found I spent so much time doing these things, I was not giving myself time to do morning yoga, or check in here. I want to be there for my family, but not at the expense of myself.

Hope everyone is doing well; I'll read back more tonight.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Well they sent me on the wrong course so i stayed for 4 hours and the positive was i had the rest of the day off. Not quite sure how they are going to implement a huge new program when they cant send people to the right course. Oh well, not my issue. sitting at work with a cuppa and about to tackle some finance that i do.

Slo, we will always encounter al, its having our tools and an escape plan on the ready. i find i dont have an issue with people drinking and i have radar eyes on who is a drinker (like i was) but when they start to get talkative and full of crap i am out of there. I shake my head to know that i was just like that, telling people that i loved them soooo much ha ha.

Over, glad you know that drinking is not for you. I had a couple of relapses where i thought i needed to join in to have fun and wanted to not feel deprived but i knew if i kept it up i was a goner yet again and NS put me on the right path. we cant moderate and we cant drink, end of story. Good on you for coming back here as so many wander off to hide their guilt and shame and the cycle never ends.

I had to take my fur baby to the vets yesterday as she has a cough when she drinks. i thought her heart failure was getting worse but the vets thinks she is a guts although she is now on cough mixture and anti biotics just in case. I am so happy she is ok. Pav how is your puppy going now?

Kensho, i dont do anything i dont want to now, i am the priority. i told the SO the other day, when he was being an annoying twat that i was my priority and if he kept on being a twat then i was walking. Never when i drank would i have said that, i would have clung on for dear life and accepted that that was how it was.

well off to do some billing, sigh.

take care x

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

Fabulous day here, sun then rain then sun, over & over. Can’t serm to make up it’s mind, ha ha!
Went in for some fun dental work too, woo hoo

Pauly, there’s no alcohol in kombucha. Sometimes when you brew it at home it will give off an alcohol-like odor though. At least that’s what I’ve noticed.

Kensho, we probably do have matching guts, LOL
When I find something doesn’t agree with me it goes on the ‘HELL NO’ list, ha ha! Trying to get my family involved in helping with daily chores was always a struggle too. Be persistent with them, you need time for yourself too.

Ava, I hope your pup gets better quickly. I am currently running my dog back & forth to the vet trying to get her on the right dose of thyroid medication. It’s always something.

Overit, commit yourself to your AF plan & you’ll have no regrets, promise.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

The important thing is that you learn from it and not repeat it. Next time skip the event(s) if they will make you want to drink.

Drinking is not for me neither. I just want to be sober and my biggest fear is that my friends will not fully get it. But if they don't I will just have to stay away from them until they understand that I no longer drink. Day 17 is getting better and better AF wise. I still have my times and this weekend I will be keeping myself busy but without the alcohol.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Available, it’s true that we will always encounter alcohol, and I’d better get used to it. It’s just irritating because when I was young people didn’t drink at funerals, baptisms, and showers -these daytime events were alcohol-free. Now you have to deal with it everywhere all the time. Even at parks! They’re putting beer gardens in the parks around here. But I’ll quit whining about it.

Kensho, I totally agree with the changes you are making to simplify your life and have your family take more responsibility for themselves. It is hard to get them involved in the daily chores, but necessary.

I’m finally getting over some of the sluggishness I’ve had while getting off of alcohol, and back to getting out for a daily bike ride. Which is good because I promised my daughter I would do the biking portion of her triathlon this weekend! It feels wonderful to ride in this warm summer weather, and is a good stress release.

Overit, at least it didn’t work for you, so you’ll be less tempted next time. So glad you’re back to being AF.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

I just want to be sober and my biggest fear is that my friends will not fully get it. But if they don't I will just have to stay away from them until they understand that I no longer drink.

Yes! This was my fear. I was a lot of people's drinking buddy and I was afraid that would be awkward and weird around my friends. I found that it isn't! I talked to two of my best friends about this very question - how did they experience my quitting (I had never asked before). One said she was all good - her dad was a 30-year sober person. The other said she felt a bit awkward the first year, like I wasn't quite myself, but once I became more comfortable with myself the old me was back. In that year I was in my head a lot, and spending a lot of time evaluating situations. I truly believe you'll get there, too. And if friendships don't last without alcohol, what were they founded on?

Ava - my pup is fine. He's a little more timid around other dogs now, but that is probably a good thing! Do you have Mads on THC or CBT??

I am doing a check in at night because I am feeling a little off. Just keeping myself accountable for my moods. I won't drink because I don't drink...

Pav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters and happy hump day. Sounds like everyone is doing well in here. Over it, glad you came right back. Thats what I keep doing because I want to be sober more than I want to drink. I don’t want to start drinking then fade away depressed, etc. THis group gives me some accountability and support. Alcohol is everywhere and we have to change how WE look at drinking since its not going away. Hope everyone has a good day!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, I totally agree with the changes you are making to simplify your life and have your family take more responsibility for themselves. It is hard to get them involved in the daily chores, but necessary.

I said this nonchalantly, but actually it has been a huge driver in feeling powerless & overwhelmed, and wanting to check out and drink.

Now as I have been struggling to live sober, I find like [MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] said that it is necessary for me to speak my truth and say what I think, stand up to my husband & his b.s., and let the chips fall where they may.
(@Lavande and [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] have expressed this as well)

And I won’t even let my daughter move upstairs to her newly decorated room and bathroom until she demonstrates that she can take care of her current bedroom. I am not taking on cleaning another bathroom, and I am not going to let it be trashed like the other girls did.

It’s a hard line, but I’m finding that if I’m going to be sober then I can’t be walked all over anymore. That just drives me to want to drink.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning. Got myself a coffee and I’m making it a priority to check in here each morning. One child starts school this am and I promised I’d drive her. The other starts tomorrow. I am really looking forward to some quiet time in the house. I hope I can be more productive - I have to do some catch up with work. Summers take me on a major ride with my normal schedule!

Drifty, I was worried about what my friends would think also. My solid friends only supported me, even if they still drank. The only ones who gave me grief were those with problems themselves, as they both couldn’t possibly imagine a life without alcohol, and wanted others to validate their problem. This split continues today. And I could not care less about those who try to make me feel badly - they are not my true friends.

Slo, it’s shameful how prevalent alcohol is, right? It’s a multi-billion dollar industry so until the masses don’t demand it, it will be everywhere. Enjoy your biking! A little exercise often is better than heavy workouts when quitting, in my opinion. Awesome that you are finding your boundaries. It’s one of the best things about being sober - we get to respect ourselves and demand that others do too.

Thats what I keep doing because I want to be sober more than I want to drink.

RAVA! I was so happy to see you write this. It’s where the new path opens up, when the scales tip. You won’t regret pushing past the discomfort in the beginning, I promise!! Good for you!

LAV and AVA, hope you get your pups sorted out. My kids wanted to stop by the Humane Society last week. I thought it might be uplifting, but it was heartbreaking. Mostly pit-bull type dogs, and I’ve never seen such broken spirits. Most of them hunched in the corners and looked up at us in shame. It made me want to fix them - but also I couldn’t wait to get home to my Nesta (chocolate lab). I was having a rough morning yesterday with testy little things. When I was on my hands and knees, cursing, and mopping up a plant that overflowed, she came over and stuck her head under my belly and through my arms and snuggled against my neck. What an intuitive little sweetie. She always knows when I need a goofy snuggle and I always smile!!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - glad your pup is gonna be ok. I'm sure you're still heartbroken over losing your one fur kid, and having even a scare with this other one must have been really hard. I'm so sorry - I don't remember their names Here's hoping for quick healing and much more time together!

Overit - sorry to hear your news, but glad you came right back. Can you write down how you felt afterward (and still feel now) and put it in your phone or somewhere you can easily access it should temptation come 'round again? I think our brains soften the edges of memories like that, so that we truly don't remember things as being as bad or negative as they were. Especially our al-brains, they know all the tricks to get us to open the door a crack to the thought of a drink, and then it's hard to slam that door back closed. Slips happen, but if you use this to strengthen your plan and your tool kit, you gain a net balance of positive from the whole thing. Hugs to you.

Kensho - yep, time flying by here as well. I was just saying, "I can't believe it's July already" and whooosh - it's mid-August now. Sheesh! Well, at least the AF days are adding up quick, but it feels like I never get through my to-do list and the next day it's just longer. Glad to hear you're looking at some re-evaluating of sorts - I think I will be doing that too.


Not much new to report from Wagland. Still going strong with my quit. Starting to think ahead to our Bike-Across-Italy trip coming up this fall, and prepping my plan and tool kit to survive a few weeks in the land of Italian wine etc. Fortunately for me, I don't really like wine so that shouldn't be much of a temptation, but I want to be prepared for the nightly group dinners etc. I also know spending time in another country/culture - especially one where any form of al flows like water - can be very difficult because you have to say "no" so many more times than in daily life at home. But there's no way I'm losing my quit! I just want to have plans and back-up plans out the wazoo so there's zero chance of slipping.

Hellos and waves to all passing through the nest today. Make your day/eve a good one!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Spent the entire day with my grandsons here today. At 7 & 9 they are mature enough to let them do pretty much what they want. They spent all day on their electronic devices taking breaks only for food, a quick trip to the bathroom, ha ha! I did insist they take a walk with me to collect the eggs & the mail though
I am proud that they have never seen me hungover, feeling shameful & all that. Keeping my quit is a must.

Wags, a bike trip across Italy sounds awesome. I would focus on staying healthy & hydrated with lots of water, forget the wine.

Slo, you seem to be developing a case of 'Lavan-itude' & there's nothing wrong with that!!! Sticking up for yourself is all part of the plan, right? No husband, kids or even grandkids can throw me off my plan. Stay strong & keep your feet planted firmly on the ground

Kensho, our dogs really can read our moods, I've always believed that. Good that you have such a wonderful relationship with your pup.

Rava, Pav, Alison - good to see you.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check in. Got thru today wothout choking anyone, but it was close.
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Whew Byrdie! Glad you made it through... we don't need to add a assault charge to your sky-high stress!

I did a bunch of "side" things today... 30k tune up on car, run & lift, 80% of my monthly billing, watched some of my business course class - and had time to be with my kids when they needed me. Not exactly billable hours to clients, but all important. NOW, if I could just FINISH anything, I'd be thrilled!

Off to cook chicken-something.... so bored with our regular dishes, but too tired to look up a new one.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Wags! You're living my fantasy life. Mountain Cabins? Bike trips across Italy! Just think how many more calories you'll have for food if you don't drink. But I know you won't drink because you don't drink...

Byrdie - Take care of yourself!

Lav - I can't believe they're that old. I've been posting 4.5 years, so I guess I've "seen" them grow up. I LOVE those ages. Have fun.

I feel a bit crazy and dropping a few balls. I need to take a step back and re-assess. I'll have some time this weekend...

Happy Hump Day,
Pav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. Another sober day ahead. Going out with friends after work tonight and already know I will be ordering Diet Coke with Lime wedges. Planning ahead. [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], I totally get it about friends that have a problem themselves are not too supportive. I have lost a whole group of friends in the last 4 years. I truly believe its because I stopped drinking. Now I’m just glad that I don’t have to socialize with them anymore. My true friends are still friends to this day. I am hardly a party animal anyway as I like to be in bed by 9 pm. LOL. Hope everyone has a great day.