Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ok, I did have AF beers at the restaurant. I just don’t like sweet drinks that much, and can’t drink caffeine in the evening; so I’ll have AF beer be my restaurant treat, but not drink it at home.
And frozen custard was brought to our house afterwards, so back on ice cream. That stuff is the perfect substitute for alcohol!

Lav, those big snakes taking up residence in your chicken coop sound so creepy.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo and Drifty,great job on getting through last night,yeah! AF beers can be a useful tool for some people Slo,my friend Mick on the abs thread recommended them to me but I've never drank it cuz I'm afraid of it causing me to want the real thing,I had some watermelon flavored sparkling water a few months back that kinda tasted like beer and I felt uncomfortable drinking it and tossed the rest out,I'll stick to the lemon flavored ones hope everyone enjoys their day

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Drifty - congrats on getting through the baseball game. Your plan of just not getting the wristband was perfect!

Rava - I understand some of the feeling of losing friends when going AF. I used to paddle on a semi-competitive team, and I loved the physical activity (have always been an athlete of some sort) but hooey - what a drinking culture that is! At first, I left the team and the sport as a pure survival strategy, and now although I really miss the sport itself, I can honestly say I have very little in common with most of the people I hung out with. It has taken some time, but I've gradually built a new circle of friends (and kept many of my other old friends where our relationship didn't revolve so much around partying in general). I hope you're able to do the same, to whatever extent that is your wish.

Lav - ugh with the snakes! And sorry to hear your husband got a bit of a bite. We've been dealing with an influx of spiders and bees in our yard, and every time I start to complain about them, I remember your snakes and another friend who has poisonous toads, and another who has scorpions in her house (in AZ) and I decide to be grateful we just have spiders and bees.

Kensho - hope you enjoy(ed) your last camping trip of the season!


In Wagland, I have a rare Saturday off, and so we are heading out this morning for a full day of bicycling - another training ride to help us get ready for Italy. We rode yesterday as well, but more as commuting to one of the classes I had to teach and also some errand running beforehand. Partway through the ride we had to pass over one of the freeways through out city, and we got to see the slow and heavy traffic (not even rush hour yet). It gave me pause. I used to spend 10+ hours per week in that traffic, and ever since my accident about 18 months ago I hated it more than ever. So I decided to change things. I took my business in a different direction and gradually built a new customer base. In less than 12 months I was able to quit the major contract I used to have that required an hour commute each way several days per week, and I'm getting paid about twice my former hourly rate. And I ride my bike almost everywhere (we even qualified for less expensive auto insurance because our mileage is so low).

I could never ever have taken charge of this situation and made these changes if I were still drinking. I am so much healthier and happier without AL. It really hit me yesterday that by starting and maintaining my last and final quit, I have avoided the biggest case of the regrets I might have ever had - the regret I'd have felt 10 years from now looking back and the thousands of hours spent stewing in a sea of stressed out drivers and being severely underpaid and undervalued for my work.

Protect your quits everyone. They will bring you gifts you don't even know about yet!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All

Great to start the day with that story, Wags. I love hearing what sobriety brings - things we didn't even expect. My career took a huge turn too, and I am in a project I never would have had the courage before, but I didn't know I was missing. Enjoy your ride.

Lav - if you made it through raising teens with no eye-rolls directed at you for your "ignorance," you should write a book! My kids aren't disrespectful - they just don't value my experiences as much as I want them to.

I don't want to go near NA beer - too much like the real thing, and I think it would keep that craving for the taste alive. I don't like NA beer enough to experiment with that...

Hi, Steady. How are you feeling today?

I have a lot going on today - thank goodness I'm not hungover!

Pav

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

I do the NA beers now and then myself and they work. But they are not for everyone.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We had a huge thunderstorm at 3 am but I am the only one who heard it - naturally, ha ha! Even when I do sleep it's very light sleep anymore. I think that is just an aging thing with me oh well. Got my grandsons out of here by 9:30 am to start their beach vacation

Wags, what you went thru was terrible but you survived & are stronger than ever! Don't you think the universe has a plan for us after all?
I'm happy that you are so happy now!

Pav, don't get me wrong - my kids were not perfect, Lol There were plenty eye rolling & back talking incidents when they were pre-teens. I just made them know that I could take them out in a flash if I had too, ha ha! By the time they were 14 or 15 they were pretty well settled down. Figure out what is most important to a kid & threaten to remove that if they step out of line. Think money, freedom, car keys, etc. And remember that when they are the parents you can watch them go thru the same BS

Slo & Alison, glad you got thru your events sans AL. The more you do that the stronger you get!

Hi there Pauly

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

A beautiful day in coastal Noth Carolina. Relaxed and enjoyed it. Back in the day, Id have started drinking at 10:30 am. I cant tell you how grateful I am that I stuck thru the discomfort to get here. There have been plenty of trials and tests, but I dont plan on giving AL an inch. You give it an inch, it wants to be the ruler! Hang in everyone, no matter what and no matter who! Byrdy

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

The next challenge for me is Karaoke. I enjoy karaoke and thinking of going to karaoke soon but will be sober for that and will go once I am strong enough.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

OMG, Alison. Sober Karaoke scares the spit out of me! I'm a terrible singer, although I love to sing.

Glad you got a day off, Byrdie.

Lav - hah - no phone has worked pretty well this time...

Off to get some house cleaning in and a hike, I hope.

xPav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Drifty, When people ask if I can sing I tell them it depends on how much THEY’VE had to drink. Im with Pav, my vocal stylings are best left to the imagination!
You can do anything sober that you did drunk, only BETTER! As Pav’s avatar says, the powere was in you all the time!
We DO believe in you!
Had a nice bike ride today, good to get outside! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I did the biking portion (13 miles) of my daughter’s small triathlon today. It would’ve been a sneeze for [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], but it was kinda hard for me! So glad to have 4 weeks sober so I could at least do it. And my new-ish knee did pretty well, just one muscle by it is a bit cramped.
It was so nice gathering with everybody at the beautiful park & beach, and having lunch at a delicious diner in the pretty small town with my daughters and their friends. They’re all so nice. And it makes me want to get in better shape!
Plus it was nice to do something social with no alcohol involved when I’m this early. No alcohol because it’s from 5:45am (registration time) until 9:30am, so too early to drink! One lady was going on about how weird it was to be sitting in a park without beers because “What else do you do in a park except drink? That’s what you do in parks!” (This was at 7:00am.) But otherwise I was untouched by it.

Glad you got a bike ride in too, Byrdie, and a hike for Pav.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you to [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] and [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION] for pointing out with their stories that stopping drinking can have life-altering implications. I was completely unaware of that the first time I tried to quit; naively thought that it was just a beverage in my glass, like switching from milk to orange juice. But it can have way more of an impact than that.
And, especially thank you for showing through your examples how it can ultimately end up being for the better!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday evening Nesters,

Rainy day here bit it is going to cool things down a bit & I am grateful for that!

Slo, congrats on your awesome bike ride this morning & so happy to hear you are enjoying the benefits of being AF

Byrdie, glad you enjoyed some outside time on your bike as well. I did what you like to do - baked a blueberry crumb coffee cake today. We have a ton of blueberries from our bushes in the freezer, yum

No snake or fox sightings today alleluia, lol. It doesn't take much to make me happy!

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] - Hooray for biking the 13 miles!!! It sounds like a lovely day all around - one to tuck into your memory banks when you wonder why the double hockey sticks you're doing this whole quit thing anyway. There are so many reasons and rewards, and it can be really helpful to relive some of them in times of temptation. Interesting comment by the woman at 7am though. Sounds like she might be one of us!

Yes, quitting al can (and I would think often does) have life-changing implications, and even though it's certainly not all rainbows and unicorns, it is, on balance, far more for the better. I think we don't really realize how much energy it takes to drink when you drink like many of us did. The planning, the sneaking, the recovery the next day even if mild... I could go on and on. Then quitting takes some energy, especially at first. But gradually, as new habits form and new behaviors become more automatic, quitting takes less and less on average. Sure, some days or moments require the full tool kit and almost meditative focus, but then we get over that hump and can return to an auto pilot of sorts. And this is when we discover we have the emotional, mental and physical energy to assess our lives and make at least some changes if desired.

For me, quitting has been nothing but a gift that I gave to myself and that I keep giving myself every single day. It feels good to wake up knowing I chose well the day before and that I'm going to do it again today.

Here we go with another week everyone. Make it a good one!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Whirlwind weekend! Home Wednesday night to flooding in the basement (clogged gutter spilling roof water into window well). Then Thursday scrambled to complete billing and pack for camping! Mountain bike ride on Friday am, picked up the kids in town and back to the music festival. Returned yesterday to huge towel stacks (from flood) and camping clothes to launder - along with grocery shopping and getting the kids’ paperwork signed for the beginning of their first full week of school. Whoosh! I now sit alone at my desk loving the silence. Glad to be home.

Ug! SLO! It’s gut-wrenching to hear people talk like the park lady about drinking. I used to be chained to alcohol too. I’m infinitely glad I am not any more!

Talked to the husband today about being tired. We really plan ourselves silly during the summer days - and I said I just need a slow down; a weekend without plans. He said, “You’re acting like a grandma these days,” (which isn’t true - I work even harder than he does), and then he said “I just push through it”. I said “I used to drink to numb the pain of pushing too hard, and now I just try not to push too hard.” He immediately got defensive and said that HE doesn’t do that… well, I wasn’t even talking about him. But for the record, he does do it

Nothing but a gift indeed, Wagmore. I truly appreciate not being chained to liquid poison any more. SO glad to hear you have turned your profession around into something that works for you. Way to go!

LAV, I'm sorry for your continued snake issues. I really can't handle them - so glad you and your husband are so brave. Hopefully they get the hint and move on to another location.

Byrdie, glad you got some chill time this weekend. I can't WAIT until the day you retire.

Happy Monday everyone. I'm happy to be sober. Inching up on 8.5 months here!