Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All

I was talking with a sober friend who is going through something very emotionally painful in her life. She said she had REALLY been thinking about drinking because she knew that in the moment that pain would go away. She didn't drink and has been practicing extreme self care - exercise, therapy, work - to avoid doing so. But that is one of the problems with alcohol - that fix is so temporary, and then you're left with a hangover AND all the pain is still there. At the end for me, I guess the pain of what I was losing by drinking was more than the ease I was feeling by drinking and chasing that first refreshing buzz all night long (never to find it again).

LC and SLO - being present for my family, especially my kids, has been the best part of being sober. I can talk to them any time of the day or night and have my wits about me.

Rahul - I love having you pop in now and then. Glad you're living your best sober life!

x
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

HI!

LC, lovely post again. I love hearing about your interaction with your daughter! Those moments take the cake, no?

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], I just wanted to share that I've noticed a change in your writing and posts. You are sounding present, insightful, strong, and more of what seems like "you" is coming through. Keep up the great work... you are headed in an amazing direction!

We got a new microwave!! The little things make me happy. I didn't use it much, but darn those few times when I really needed it! We also have less smoke in the air today so I am thankful. It's a pretty one out there! Happy day everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Pav, i think its a very powerful tool to come onto MWO and post daily. To read about relapses or to read about how life is so much better for those sober, to feel the pain of those that relapse and to be accountable each and every day is what keeps me grounded and focused. We all need support with being sober, not so much as time goes on but i know that left to my own devices that maybe eventually i would have those thoughts that i could just drink socially and i refuse to play russian roulette with my life ever again. I love my life now and even though shit has happened over the years i have realised that nothing is worth drinking AT.

Well my great, fantastic news is i am going to see Phil Collins in February next year. I was going to marry Phil back in the day except he had no idea. My 27 and 25 year old are coming with me which is fantastic, they grew up listening to Phil, sober and drunk (louder when drunk). 1986 was the last time he visited Australia and the last time i saw him and i cant wait! Back in the day i went to see him stoned as my drinking was not so bad. Now i will be totally straight and able to take it all in.

TFIF here, been freezing this week -4.5 and this morning it was 13 degrees. The joy of Melbourne is we have 4 seasons in one day. Fathers day this weekend so the SO and i will go to his daughters to have breakfast and visit his twin grandsons. I am trying to organise a few days away for us but not sure where to go where it isnt cold and we dont have to drive far. That will give me an interest this weekend.

Glad everyone is doing well, take care x

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Ava, have a nice weekend
I am profoundly jealous of your cold weather, we are roasting here, I kid you not.

Kensho, new kitchen appliances always make me happy. Just goes to show I really am relatively easy to please

Pav, good to hear your friend is pulling thru her funk AF. I just can't even imagine how disappointed I would be with myself if I chose to drink at this point. It would be a nightmare, for sure.

LC, nice to spend quality time with your daughter. It's those kind of things that keep me on the straight n narrow too.

Hi there Slo, Pauly & everyone checking in today.

I'm watching my grandsons all day tomorrow, they have no school for some reason haha!
Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Yes, Lav. I'm with you. Ava, too. Why risk "trying" to moderate. It is so freeing just to say "I don't drink..."

I am off on a yearly trip I take with the same friends. When I quit it was 8 months away and it was the thing I worried about the most. This is traditionally a DRINKING trip, and I thought both that I wouldn't have fun AND that I would make it awkward for everyone and myself. That is when I truly understood the One Day at a Time idea - I couldn't think about that trip, I had to think about staying sober one day at a time. That doesn't mean whether or not I would drink on the trip was still up in the air - at that point I had given in and accepted that I couldn't drink - I just mean I couldn't worry that far ahead. Truly accepting my sobriety meant that both were true - I had quit for good and forever, and I had to take it one day at a time. Anyway, the trip has calmed down a lot since we've all aged. I just get to feel un-hung and smug and enjoy myself significantly more!

I'll be off the grid and see you all next week. Take care of yourselves and stay sober, no matter what. The holiday weekend here in the states is not an excuse to drink - its is an opportunity to enjoy another day un-hung.

xo
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Safe travels Pav waves to all!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

PAV enjoy your trip, and LAV enjoy your grandkids!

AVA, I love Phil Collins - enjoy that show!

I'm staring at my work and I know I should bill a lot, but I'm feeling REALLY tired. This week has me all out of sorts. About to make a list of what HAS to get done, and then do the top 3 things. Looking so forward to a weekend without plans - and sleep, sleep, sleep!!!

Have a good day everyone!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

TGIF nesters. Ava, Hope you enjoy seeing Phil Collins. He is awesome! Lav, hope you enjoy your weekend with the grands. Pav, hope your upcoming trip is a good one. Today is 2 weeks for me so I already know Friday is my trigger day. Planning on not drinking at any cost! Nice to have a 3 day weekend ahead. Hope everyone has a great day!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Friday, nesters. Ava, couldn't agree more, TFIF! ha.
Just before lunch, I'd gotten to a good place, I was down to 300 emails in my inbox, I had my fingers in the dike and it was holding. Then I got a call and I've been working on a problem ever since. Half our staff is off today so getting anything done is proving to be a challenge. Lord help me get to the end of this year. I'm taking this job like I take being an alkie. One day at a time.
It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Hang tough, everyone! We got this! :rara::rara: Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Rainy today but it has cooled off quite a bit, yay!
My grandsons arrived at 9 am & left at 6 pm. There's no food left, ha ha!!

Pav, enjoy your trip & by now everyone knows you don't drink. Enjoy the smugness all you want

Kensho & Byrdie, one day at a time works in a lot of situations. Sometimes (most of the time) it's the only sane choice. Enjoy your weekends!

Rava, awesome on your 2 weeks AF :welldone:
I know you feel better so keep protecting your quit.

Hi there Pauly & anyone dropping in tonight.

No family plans this weekend, some are working, my daughter & my son are still not speaking (for about 2 years now) & it looks like a damp weekend ahead anyway.
I guess I'll just catch up on some stuff I've been putting off.
Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

If it was not for MWO I would now be walking to the bar to drink. But instead I am home and enjoying a nice night safe and sober. Decided to skip out on karaoke for now and will go when I get more time on my belt. I know that I could do it sober, but I just want to make sure that I do so that I do not need to feel any regrets.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all. Good job Drifty. It never ceases to amaze me how our mind and body go straight back into search for booze mode when we go back to it even after lengthy periods of no grog. Sure, there is a biological equation that happens and it can be explained and understood, but still, it remains cunning and dangerous. Well done my friend in keeping yourself safe.

It's the first day of spring down here. I like that!

Big waves to everyone.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], I just wanted to share that I've noticed a change in your writing and posts. You are sounding present, insightful, strong, and more of what seems like "you" is coming through. Keep up the great work... you are headed in an amazing direction!

Thanks for this, KENSHO, and also thanks to [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] for similar sentiments a few days ago.
I have been blessed with easy, low-key days lately that suit this introvert just fine, and are helping me to get a block of sober time. I’m nervous about how I’ll do when turbulent times hit again, like what Pavati’s friend is going through, as I get knocked off my pins pretty easily. But all I can do is accrue as much sober time as I can, and hopefully build a strong quit.

Plus I’m finally done running the experiments. My last attempt at moderation in early July went well, but then ended in a big blowout binge. And drinking at my daughter’s at-home wedding reception was fun, but very excessive & uncontrolled, and not at all the way I promised myself I’d drink. Plus I couldn’t get enough, needed to sneak an extra beer home with me to drink, could hardly wait to get home to hide & drink it...I’m tired of being controlled by a substance. And I’m just physically worn out from it too. I want out of the cycle now. Alcohol won, and I need to be done with it.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un-hung Saturday, Nesters!

Rava, well done on 2 weeks AF! I'm glad to hear you're planning for your trigger days.. and you, too, Drifty, staying home instead of going to karaoke. If we in any way feel like we might be in danger, we have to take action. Plan ahead.. which is what you are both doing.

Slo, I'm also so done with running experiments.. as long as alcohol is in the equation, it wins. It's like that AA saying (which always annoyed me) about not having any control over alcohol.. it's only true if I let it into my system. As long as I don't do that, I remain in control and I win!:happy2: I agree with the others about how well you're sounding.. happy, content, enjoying being an introvert! I'm also quite introverted and so enjoy my time alone..or one on one with friends. I'm happy as well to be at a point in my life where I can accept that and not feel left out when I decide I need space. Have you read the book, "Quiet" by Susan Cain? A friend gave it to me and I'm really enjoying it.

Ava, have a great time!! I loved Genesis, too..
Nice to see you, G-man!
Kensho, that sounds like a great online program you're doing.. to find balance. And I love the idea of making a list and sticking to the top 3 things. Eat dinner, brush teeth, go to bed! Yesterday I was so exhausted that I took an 1.5 hour nap in the middle of the day.. after that, I was ready to tackle things again and even made it to the gym. I find (if possible) that sometimes the best thing to do is to drop everything and sleep. Hope you have a restful weekend.
Lav! those boys sure do seem to eat a lot! They are lucky to have a Grandma with a frige full of yummy food. How are those chickens holding out?
Pav, I hope you have a wonderful mini vacay.. Loved that post!
Hi Byrdie and Pauly, NS, Nar and everyone else popping by today.
I've been called upon to make pancakes, so off I go.
Wishing you all a nice weekend.xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So, pancakes are done!
I have a question for those of you with some experience..
I have a first date on this coming Wednesday, which I'm excited about. It's sort of a blind date, as we haven't met before, but he's a friend of a (not super close) friend who seems very nice, good sense of humour, single! We had a fun phone conversation the other day.. We're meeting for dinner and I'm not in any way concerned about drinking (because I don't) and am really looking forward to starting on this foot.. but I'm not sure I want to jump into the whole (her)story of why I'm not. What was your situation when you met your SO, Ava? Anyone else? I would welcome any advice. Normally, lately, I just say I don't drink, end of story. But I guess it's different with someone I might really like. I guess I can also just see how it feels.. it might not even be an issue (as is often the case when I overthink something).. but I do want to have a little plan.
ok. that's it..:happy2: