Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Kensho - that's an exciting milestone coming up. As I was approaching Year One started having drinking dreams and feeling a little out of sorts. Why me? Is this it? Pity party stuff. Although I knew I wouldn't drink, it was annoying. Thankfully, that went away and I was able to celebrate year one with an amazing feeling of freedom, joy, and relief.

Lav, glad you're on the mend at least, and could get out of the house.

Slo - we need that rain in CA!

Happy Friday, Nest. No ticket to boozeville here!

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - glad you're starting to feel better! Hope the heat wave truly breaks.

Slo - sounds like you're doing well. Great job with your outing - each time you do one, the next gets easier.

Pav - yes, it's important to slow down sometimes and do a re-set. I have felt that to be especially important in my quit toolkit - that regular maintenance so to speak.

Kensho - what a day/week you've got on your hands! I hate when things all seem to happen at once, but then you handle them AF, and afterward you get to say "look at what I did!" - stuff that al would try to tell you are all perfect excuses to drink. Yay for your upcoming one-year and the possibility of a tattoo


Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by today. I'm off to teach and then a long training bike ride. Catch you all later today or this weekend.

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

Going to enjoy my final weekend off. Next week my work schedule will be a six day work week. I should have said no but at the same time its only 4 hours on Saturday and I could use the extra money. Plus it will help keep me sober Friday nights since I do not want to risk going to work hungover.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

I am seeing a little more improvement day by day, the universe
Don't know what's going to happen once I run out of Prednisone so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Well, it was cooler today in that the temp was only in the 80's but it's still so dreadfully humid. I just need to wait it out & stop moaning, ha ha!

Drinking at disrespectful husbands seems to be rather common, I did it too for a period of 10 years. Even though I knew deep down that it was the wrong thing to do I did it anyway. That's one thing I haven't quite reconciled yet. I don't beat myself up about it because I can't change it now. All I know is that I was supremely frustrated with him, his broken promises & his basic attitude. How can you talk something out with a person who prefers to hide & not talk? Needless to say the relationship has changed quite a bit, maybe it just had to change. I'm in an unexpected place now but a good place anyway

Hello to Wags, Pav, Kensho, Alison, Slo, Byrdie & everyone stopping in tonight.

Have a peaceful & safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening, all.
Gads, for a short week, it was a doozie.
Next week will ne short, too. On Wednesday, Im heading back to where I grew up for my 40th class reunion. My sister is staying in my room with me, so I may be scarce, she is nosy and not above snooping on my ipad, I will post as I can. We MAY be meeting our recently found half sister. I sent her a card letting her know I was coming to town and would love to meet her. The family spokesperson said she was planning to meet us, but I havent heard feom her yet. Fingers crossed.
It’s only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! :rara: Byrdie

Edit to add: Happy Birthday, Paulywog!!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Slo, Sorry for the disrespectful husband thing. I drank away my anger at mine for a long time. But once sober, it became much easier to calmly demand to be treated with respect - and mostly he listens now. It's so much easier to respect someone who respects themselves (ie. the sober us). Just keep doing what you need to do for you, and these things will figure themselves out along the way.

Thank you for this; so wise & kind. This is exactly it, and I drank away my anger at mine for a long time too, as did [MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION], whom I’ve long silently looked to as an example of how to handle a frustrating marriage. It helps to know that others go through the same thing!

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], I’ve had a few drinking events in a row lately, but was blessed with about three weeks before that with none, which was so helpful for getting established with sobriety. Good luck with your challenging mud run obstacle course. Wow.

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], how long is a training bike ride for you? 30 miles?

[MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION], we’ve had so much rain that there has been bad flooding nearby! I wish California could’ve had some of it too.

[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION], how are you? I know it’s your hard day of the week today, so hope you’re getting through it with steely resolve.

Best wishes to all for good weekends!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - For this trip, a training ride is generally 30-50 miles, depending on the terrain we cover. Some days we do long flat-ish rides and some we do short but very hilly ones. We don't really know what the terrain will look like on this trip, but we do know each day will be anywhere between 30-45 miles, so we're trying to get lots of similar length rides in and a few longer ones. Yikes, we leave in less than 2 weeks!

Byrdie - hope you're able to relax a bit this weekend (and get ready for the next week of work I guess - sounds like a pretty rough work life )

Lav - I'm so glad you're getting a little better each day.

Drifty - enjoy your weekend! I'm sure you're not thrilled to be starting 6-day weeks next week, but the extra money and the added incentive to keep Fri nights sober sound like they'll pay off for you


I had a drinking dream this morning right before I woke up. In the dream, it was not even noon yet and a few house-related issues came up (the type we all hate to deal with, but have no choice, like plumbing leaks that will cause huge damage if left unchecked). But in the dream I had started drinking first thing that morning and even though asleep I could feel my shame and also the difficulty of dealing with relatively minor situations while compromised by al. OMG... I am SO glad that isn't my life anymore!

Don't drink today, cuz y'all don't drink. Have fantastic weekends everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

A busy weekend filled with (non alcoholic) parties, sports, and cleaning the house. I am grateful to be un-hung this morning and ready to face it all. What a relief.

Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

So good to read and catch up with all of you on this beautiful, early autumn, Un-hung Saturday. I had such a nice meeting at the outdoor market this morning with old family friends (they're the parents of my oldest and closest friend and I've known them since I was 5) ..I hadn't seen them in 14 years but it was like time hadn't passed.. you know how that is? Their voices are still so familiar and comforting and they are such lovely and interesting people. My youngest daughter was with us, too, which made me so happy.. that they could get to know eachother a bit.

Lav, I'm so relieved to hear you are finding relief! I had something like that once and it was awful.. my face/eyes were so swollen, I looked as if I'd been in a boxing match. Turns out I had a mild allergic reaction that went crazy after I'd had too much sun exposure. I didn't have sunscreen or a hat and it seems I have a mild sun allergy..? Didn't even know that existed.. but maybe all the hot weather you've been having exasperated whatever the original trigger was? Just a thought. Let us know when you find out what it was. Sending cool weather your way! p.s. you are not too old to lift weights!

Kensho, December 10th is my birthday!! I'm so excited that it's your anniversary day. I would definitely go for a tatoo! How are you liking the course you signed up for? I had a look and it seems like a nice, gentle way to make some changes. Let me know if you'd recommend it. Good luck with the mud run! Sounds like fun.. especially the obstacle part. " It's so much easier to respect someone who respects themselves".. so true, so true.. thanks for this line.

Wags, are you taking your bikes over or renting them there? Are you riding from point a to b to c? or staying in one place and then riding out from there? Your photos of the views/and of the fire lookout were amazing. I wish I'd done more things like that when I was living in the NW... someday again!

Slo, good for you for getting up and moving seats.. and for not letting it get the best of you. It seems like it often does take time for the spouses/significant others to get used to the "new" people they're living with. We are so different when we begin to take care of ourselves and realize we don't want to put up with the BS anymore.. or change the ways we react (or don't) in habitual situations.. there's a learning curve there. I think it also takes time for them to believe and trust that this is the new reality, that it's going to stick. I'm so happy to hear you doing so well..

Pav, that's great that your friend felt like she could confide in you and then took the steps to stop drinking and get herself out of an abusive relationship. Thank goodness! I was glad to hear you had such a nice labor day weekend away with friends and full of laughter.. I love deep in the gut laughter and have a lot more of it now than I did when I was drinking. I also find (and friends have told me) that my sense of humour is better.. has to be! I thought I was funny back in the day, but apparently I was a sloshing fool.. Never going back there again.

Byrdie, loved the picture of the dumpster! It sure is ugly!

Ava, your post cracked me up.. who knew the grapes didn't count as fruit? My date went well but I'm not really sure that I want a man in my life. I know I don't need to decide anything right away (we do have a second date planned in the next week or two) but I'm not sure I see the point.:happy2: Let's see. I think I'm curious because there are some firsts here.. alcohol wasn't an issue at all because he doesn't drink/never has. That was a big, fat surprise. Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Where is it you're wanting to go on vacation?

Big hello to Allison, Rava, Pauly, G-man, NS.. everyone else stopping or flying by the Nest today..
lots of love and strength to you all..

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya Peeps! Happy weekend. We did our mud race and I made it through the monkey bars without falling 15' to the water below! Woot woot!! It was fun - and I am tired now. They offer all racers a free beer after the race - but nothing for non-drinkers except for a paper cup of water. I was mad. At least offer me a gatorade if I do the run and pay the fee. Not everyone drinks.... sheesh. And I always hated drinking in the middle of the day. I was ready for bed by 6pm.

LC -12/10! Awesome! Let's celebrate! Glad you got the experience of a date with someone who doesn't drink. There really are more people than we realize, I think. Glad to hear you are listening to yourself on the man thing. No need to rush.

Wagmore, so excited for you and your upcoming trip! I can't wait to hear all about it. The shame was the worst when a drinker. I hated how I felt about myself when I would make a promise in the morning, and by 5pm I threw it out the window. I did that routine of "it'll be different today..." and then, "well, maybe tomorrow.." for a very long time. And each time, a little piece of my self-respect went out the window. I am not perfect and never will be, but I do know that every day I don't drink, a little bit of self-respect builds back up.

Cheers to everyone here abstaining, and fighting - and those who are just here and beginning the step. All I can say to you is that if you made it to this site, you likely have crossed a line that you can't un-cross. So just keep trying. Eventually it will click!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I got to go to my young nephew’s soccer games this morning, and visit with my two sisters and mom, and my little sister’s baby was there too, whom I really wanted to see since they change so much so fast, so bonus for snuggles with little nephew -got my baby fix! He’s sitting up now. It was really a pleasant morning. And then my mom & I went out to lunch together and did a bit of shopping together, and it was actually very nice!

Lifechange, that is so cool that old friends from your childhood turned up in Germany! And how great that your daughter could connect with them too, and thus to your childhood. It is weird how people don’t really change and you just pick up where you left off after such a long absence.

Wagmore, I had talked to a couple guys recently who both ride regularly, and they both go 30-60 miles at a time, so thought it might be something like that. (I can’t imagine...I like to go about 5-10 miles!)
Good that you’re training for hills, as that is much different, as you know.

Kensho, yay for you for enjoying your mud run! Hopefully they asked for feedback afterwards, so you can call attention to the lack of a refreshment reward for non-drinkers. That’s all we can do is call attention to this bias nowadays. Maybe a beer company sponsored the event.

Pavati, is there such a thing as a non-alcoholic party?

So I skipped out of my daughter’s swim meet today, and am not attending the baseball game that she & her dad are going to tonight, so am enjoying alone time! Then I can attend to my own exercise needs instead of watching everyone else do sports all day; a lil’ bike ride, walk the old dog a bit, do some gentle yoga.

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], hope you’re having a good birthday weekend in California!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening all Nesters,

I am definitely a lot happier & healthier looking today Geez, what a week!!!
There was some talk with my doc in that she thinks one of my blood pressure meds could cause photosensitivity & maybe I did react to the sun. I kind of doubt this myself because I've taken this stuff off & on for nearly 15 years - so why now? Hopefully the allergist will find the real culprit

December looks like a great month to celebrate stuff, my birthday is on the 19th & it's a big one, ha ha! I'll be happy to be here celebrating with everyone!

Good job on the races & runs, etc ladies. I will listen to your stories & not get involved, LOL

LC, my son-in-law does not drink, not ever! It surprised me but he's a wonderful guy & it's something I know I never have to worry about. My husband was disappointed finding it out though claiming that they will never be able to sit together & have a beer. Who gives a sh*t?? That was another example of him thinking about himself unfortunately. Now, after 12 years they are great friends - DUH! Glad your date went OK. Try one more then see how you feel?

Much cooler here now after 24 hours of off & on rain, humidity way down too - finally!
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, Nesters.
We spent a good bit of the day preparing for this hurricane. We went over to help a neighbor and there was a wasp nest under one of their deck chairs and my hubs got stung multiple times on his foot. Poor thing.
We are hoping that darn hurricane takes a turn out to sea, right now, we are directly in the path.
I remember back in the 90’s we had quite a few of them, I drank thru them all and was no help to anyone. Geesh. I cringe when I think about it.
As they say, preparing dor the worst and hoping for the best.
Stay strong, all. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

No one here but the two of us Byrdie?
Geez, I also hope these hurricanes are a great big miss. Stay safe friend :hug:
We've had over 3 inches of rain today ~ leftover weather from the last hurricane supposedly.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, you’re right in the path?! I sure do hope the hurricane turns itself.

Lav, so you’re getting relief from the prednisone, and you’ll have your dr. appointment at the end of the week. We had beautiful weather here today! Hopefully it heads your way.

LC, that is fascinating that your date turned out to be a never-non-drinker! I can see why you’re intrigued.

I tried to share a show with my husband that I was watching last night when he got home at 10:00p, but he just got really angry and yelled that he wanted to watch sports and accused me of telling him what to do, then was furious that I was using the bedroom TV and stomped off to watch TV and sleep in the living room. Geez, he had just gotten home from watching sports all day, so I simply had no idea he was going to sit up and watch more. He really would have liked the documentary I was watching, both professionally and personally. I’m the fool for ever trying to talk to him or engage with him in any way, but I get lonely, so it’s just nice to try to share things with somebody you live with. But with him I really risk getting his temper going no matter what I say. I used to go in a different room from him and drink it all away, so this is harder going in a different room and staying stone cold sober. Anyways, thanks for listening.