Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], :hug: You didn’t deserve to be treated that way when you were drinking and you don’t now. It’s hard to be lonely, and worse when you feel that way when you’re not actually alone. It hurts. We love you exactly as you are.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

SLO, I agree with NS - don't be bullied by your husband!

LC - glad to hear from you and sounding so great.

Byrdie - I was reading about that hurricane today - I hope you stay safe.

Lav, good luck finding the culprit. I am DONE with my seasonal allergies. I feel like my head is stuffed with cotton a good percentage of the time in spring and fall. I have heard that local honey helps - anything else?? I also get eczema from allergies sometimes - blech.

Happy SOBER Sunday everyone.

Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Un-hung Monday morning, Nesters..

scary, Byrdie. I'm glad you're well prepared and we're all hoping for the best.!

Slo, I also agree with NS. We love you just the way you are.. I feel like you've been blossoming in your sobriety. I really understand what you're saying with regards to lonliness.. and it is sad to feel that way when you're not actually alone.. (not to mention annoying to have to share your space with a miserable person!). I would say, continue to take care of yourself, to do what feels right for yourself, the things that support your mental and physical health, following what interests you, meeting up with friends and family who support you. You are gaining strength every day. Maybe it's possible to see a counselor with the Hubs?

Not a lot going on here. My Mom had to cancel her trip to see us because of health issues. Needless to say, we were all so very sad (she hasn't been here for 10 years and was meant to stay with us for 4 weeks) as well as worried about her. She will be getting some more tests done in the next couple of weeks, so we'll know more then. And thankfully, we'd just bought tickets to head over there next Summer. Still.

ok off to work. Hope everyone has a nice and easy and safe! day. Hugs all around.xx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Had a day off yesterday which was nice, did some cleaning and had some ME time. Always good to recharge the batteries. The weather is warming up so its lovely not to wear layers of clothing to work. today is a balmy 24c which is great, better if i wasnt at work!

Slo, no one is worth drinking AT. I would want to face plant your hubs into a wall but that wouldnt help but remember its not your fault, he is the angry one, not you. Keep walking away until he wakes up to himself. Happy 50 days sober, a great achievement and be very proud of yourself.

Wow LC a non drinker, hes a keeper lol. I think we find being sober that we need time to work on ourselves and love ourselves again. This takes time and men are hard work! I still think my life was easier when i was single! SO asked me if i wanted to go away in October for a weekend. A friend of his is having a cocktail party! Well no i dont really want to go to a cocktail party but i will and i will take my own non al drinks. It will be nice to dress up though and get away. Sorry to hear your mum is unwell, i hope she is ok. My mum had a fall last week but only has a sore knee, she hasnt really said how she fell, still stubborn and independent.

Great work on your challenge Kensho. i would email the people running the race and ask why they had not non al drinks other than water. Surely an event like that there would be a lot of non drinkers.

Glad you are feeling human Lav.

Stay safe Byrd.

Well better get into the day. take care x

[mywayin]

Re: Newbies Nest

No one here but the two of us Byrdie?

Here

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

I am here now. I am not totally thrilled about working Saturdays but at the same time its more money for me and its a good motivator to stay sober on Friday nights. I want to keep doing this as long as I am able. But if working six days a week gets too tough for me, I will have to talk about it to my boss. But I should be able to handle it and its only four hours and not the full seven hours.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

We’ve decidd to go ahead and evacuate tomorrow. I am heading way over towards the mountains to my hometown. My class reunion is this weekend. Hubs and the dog are staying downtown Wilmington. I wish he would come with me but he fears Ill make him go to the reunion with me! Ha! It will be hard to be separated from him during this stressful time. Im sharing a room with my sister and she is kind of a snoop, Ill keep you posted as best I can!! One thing I know for sure, I will NOT drink! Thats the last thing I need! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just saw on FB that Byrdie (along with more than a million other coastal residents) are under evacuation orders! I hope we can send her our collective thoughts, strength & courage to get as far away as possible & stay safe :hug:

Slo, it sounds like you are going thru stuff I did with the eternally grumpy spouse. I'm sorry but I do understand & want to tell you something I did to survive. I just decided one day that enough was ENOUGH & completely turned my attention to my self. I started to treat myself with all the loving kindness that I had showered on him & he rejected all those years. Yep, that's what I did & I worked on my own self-care & built up my spirituality & devoted my extra time & care to the grandchildren & pets & even the chickens. Everyone benefited especially me & after a period of time the grump said that he wanted what I had - really. It's been years now & I still have to occasionally remind him to choose happiness each & every day. Oh, btw, he was the one who finally admitted to me that he 'never trusted happiness'. Exactly wtf does that mean???? Hang in there & stay on your path, you're doing great & things will improve, promise.

Hello to Pav, NS, Ava, mywayin & LC.
LC, sorry to hear your mom's trip has been delayed, hope everything is OK with her.

I have a recheck with my doc tomorrow & will be going to an allergist on Friday. I imagine I will be undergoing some testing there - oh boy. Grateful to be feeling & looking a whole lot better.
Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

BE SAFE BYRDIE!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Cross post Byrdie -
Glad you will be getting away from the storm region. Have fun at your reunion - we will be thinking of you! :heartbeat:

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, I was wondering if the hurricane would affect your class reunion plans when I heard it would probably hit on Thursday. At least your big event is still on, but scary for your house & all! Good luck with everything you have going on there. Yikes!

Drifty, I misunderstood that you were working 6 days in a row for just this week, not every week. Hopefully working 5 1/2 days in a row works out for you. And like you say, you can always drop the Saturday later on if you don’t like it.

Pavati, I feel so blessed to have never suffered from seasonal allergies, yet. It sounds miserable! Maybe go to the People’s Phamacy website, click on health concerns, and listen to their podcasts about allergies; see if they have any ideas that might help.

Available, the cocktail party sounds more doable & enjoyable than the sports bash drunk fest that you declined. And you’ll be going away! - although perhaps not to where you had wanted to go.

Lifechange, that is so disappointing that your mom can’t make it over to you & the girls for her long stay! Hopefully her health problems are not serious. My mom fell ill for the first time this year (other than childbirth), and was sick for a month and a half; and hospitalized twice for about a week each time. She did bounce back for the most part.

How are you, mywayin?

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

NoSugar, thank you for being my friend last night. I felt much less lonely & discouraged, just to know I have online people who support me.
Pav, nope, no more bullying. I can watch what I want on the T.V. sometimes too, and don’t have to turn the remote over to him!
I agree with what you say, LC & Lav, that I need to put my focus on having my own life apart from him. I’m used to doing things on my own anyways or not at all, since he nearly always says he can’t be bothered to go to family events on my side of the family or to the occasional neighborhood invitation, and didn’t want to do the things you do with kids as a family like the zoo or the beach or sledding, so I’ve had to do that stuff alone. He’s a great father, all involved in their sport of swimming; it’s just only his spectator sports to take them to or staying home. Luckily my sister would arrange fun outings for the kids, and take them to see our relatives when I had to work. He wants his weekends to himself for watching sports & movies and napping, and riding his motorcycle. And movies with the kids. It’s been lonely for me though. No togetherness like working on our house together or things like that, like I thought marriage & family life would be like. And no way to talk things out since he just gets angry. So I return the favor by not going to his sports games that he has tickets to. Those he can always make time for! And Ava, he IS the angry one. It’s ridiculous, and I’m going to keep walking away from it. I’m sick of it.

Anyway, enough of that, and l know it’s not unusual and many of you have gone through / are going through similar things with your spouses & exes, and worse. But thank you so for all of your kindness!

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Newbies Nest

Everyone in the hurricane path please be safe. Evacuate if you can but if you stay be safe. NO AL will help this situation and my thoughts and prayers go out during this time.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends.

Byrdy and all in the hurricane area, good luck and wishing you safe passage.

Lav, you are badass. All the best with the allergy tests.

Big wave and hello to everyone.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, glad you are getting outta there - looks like it's headed right for you. Thinking good thoughts for your house and community! I'm worried about you!

G - always nice when you stop in.

Slo, you helped ME last night. I was angry at my husband, who has been unhappy lately, and just totally grumpy unnecessarily. He woke me up wanting to turn the tv on in our bedroom and I was so mad! Similar to your thing. SO I thought about you and decided to put up an invisible wall around me and build myself up, and counted my blessings. I acknowledged that I was mad, and just breathed. It all got better, but thank you for sharing your very similar experience earlier.

LAV, I thought of you last night too. My husband's father never decided to find happiness - maybe my husband never learned either. It seems so foreign to him to just choose happiness in any moment. He feels powerless to external circumstances. I try and try to explain that there is SOMETHING or lots of somethings good in any single circumstance - even if it is that "I am still alive", and all we have to do is find that/those things and focus on them instead of the bad. He chooses to focus on what bothers him - and I can't do anything about that. But I can focus on my happiness, that's for sure! Never trusted happiness... sheesh! Did these men come from the same cut of cloth?

Hi [MENTION=9396]DriftyAlison0[/MENTION]! Great work doing whatever it takes to stay sober at your tough times. You are doing great!

The morning air smells SO earthy and wet this morning - yummy! Something about this fall is reminding me of my childhood with smells. Not as much pollution or smoke - more of the cut grass/dew smell, and I LOVE it! I took yesterday to update my wardrobe at my favorite consignment shop and got about 10 quality pieces for $100! Makes me happy. Today I plan to review my new marketing campaign and send it out. I feel really good about where I'm headed in business.

Sending strength to everyone. Special hugs to Byrdie (((hugs)))

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo, you go! Sometimes what I do is go to being mad at my husband when I really just need to take a step back and look at myself. It is like he is a safe person to be mad at, but it really isn't helpful. Lav, I really appreciate your advice and think it is good! Keeping myself sorted will help me better understand my relationship.

Byrdie - safe travels. I'm sorry you'll be separated from your husband during the stressful time - I hope your sister is some fun. I also hope the storm doesn't get in the way of that reunion. Have fun.

Good to see you pop in, G. Hope all is well down under.

I stayed in bed some extra time this morning so I'm off.

Happy SOBER Tuesday!
Pav