Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had kind of a quiet day, rain, mud, the usual, ha ha!!!
I really have nothing to complain about because it was a cool first full day of fall

Slo, I was on 40 mg of Prednisone daily but only for 7 days. They never did give me the off-loading dose I expected but it worked out, my adrenals didn't go crazy or anything.
I need to be completely off steroids for 30 days before the allergist will do the skin testing. I really hope I can hold out that long because I am getting some swelling & redness around both eyes again, rats
Keep that memory of last year handy, it will serve you well as a reminder of why you no longer drink. I have one or two of 'those memories' myself of course.

Choices, here's to a blackout free life for us, yay!!

Rava, wanting a cup of coffee after a stomach virus is always a good sign you are on the road to recovery

LC, nice of you to want to support you friend. I'm all for that myself but also hate being around big drinkers. Hope it went well for you!

Pav, I have closed down my embroidery business that's kept me busy for the past 15 years. After all those years in nursing I wanted to do something easier on the body & mind. After 15 years I have come to realize that I am tired of arguing with the tax revenue folks & tired of non-paying customers (tons of drama there). At this point I am doing more or less custom work for former customers & friends. I have gotten into doing pocket reading pillows this year (kid & adult themes). I will be taking a ton of them to the craft show along with lots of tote bags with cool designs & lace ornaments for the fall season & Halloween. It's fun stuff only for me at this point. LOL

Belle, so good to see you back!
I know how hard it is dealing with 'adult kids', believe me. Some of the stuff they throw at you is to be expected, some not so much.
You turned to an old in-grained, habitual way to handle stress. I'm sure we've all done that at one time or another. It never does make us feel proud though, I get that.
Just glad to see you back & hope together we can help you find a better way to deal with stuff :hug:

G, I never thought of you as a meathead, lol. Stick with us, the nest is the place to be!!!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

HI Everyone. I lost a long post - ug! I had a nice weekend. After dinner last night, the restaurant offers birthday patrons an ice cream or a shot. Needless to say which I picked! It was chocolate divinity - I was in heaven. Anyway, I feel like I responded to you all since I wrote it once, but now I have to go - so just know that I'm thinking of you all and your endeavors. LAV, I'm so curious what's getting you! Bummer its coming back! Hopefully it's not chickens.

Way to go on 14 huge ones G. Proud of you for that.

Night night!

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi LC! Thank you, it is good to be back in the nest.

I got so busy last semester it was hard to keep up with anything but study. We also moved houses after living in our former place for 6 years, and not doing much decluttering for those years (if you get my drift!) So, it was a lot of work getting my little family settled into a new place. We moved out to the country. I absolutely love it, our place backs onto a farm and I can watch lambs frolic while I make my morning coffee.

We almost got chickens! @Lav. My daughter's school has an agriculture day and we had the option to raise 2 from chicks. I was just about to but then did some more research and decided we better get a bit more settled and possibly do it next year. (My new thing is trying not to take on too much) Stress can be a major trigger for alcoholic thoughts of coping for me and we all know that thinking is no Bueno!


This semester I only took one class and it is almost through the second term. I'm doing well staying sober listening to podcasts, seeing a counselor once a week and with meditation… but I got a little lonely for other sober or trying to be sober folks so decided to peak my beak into the nest again. I was also having complacent feelings and well, I know how that can end badly. Staying sober is my thing. I love it.

My daughter has made a new friend at the school and her mum brings up how much she loves wine quite a few times at school pick up- uggggg… It is so lame. I just smile and look down. I am sure she is just being friendly. Anyway, just saying I relate to the moms out there with the drinking parent culture. I don't remember my parents having those conversations. But, then again, my mom always sought out the other mom smokers and they always puffed away on smokes. I dream of a day when alcohol is looked at the way smoking is as a health hazard one day.

BelleGirl just wanted to send some compassion your way. What a lot to process and handle! It sounds in a short period of time too. All we can do is our best and it sounds to me like you did just that.

Happy Birthday, KENSHO! Nice choice on the ice-cream. The sound of a shot of alcohol makes me gag! Lol.

Peace to everyone. I was typing this while my daughter was in the bath and she is screaming she wants to get out!! Haha. So gotta go.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Sounds exciting, Choices. I'd love to look out at lambs frolicking. I've lived in this place for 20 years - a move would be treacherous, but it is a good reminder to pare some things down.

Lav, I never heard of not tapering. Hope you're feeling ok. Embroidery! I have very little patience for small, fine work like that, but I appreciate that other people can do it.

Glad you're back in the saddle, G. Hope you find some peace...

Happy Monday, everyone.

Pav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. Pouring down rain today but I’m feeling much better. [MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION], So glad you came right back. Thats what I have been doing. I don’t want to stray far from the nest because its too easy to slip back into bad habits. I love the post in the toolbox that [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION] wrote recently. Puts drinking into perspective. Always finding excuses to drink is just not ok. I either want to drink or dont want to drink. It’s a choice I make. Today I’m choosing not to drink. My mind is much clearer without all that endless chatter! Hope everyone has a good and safe day.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Choices, awesome job reconsidering a possible trigger for you. You are doing the work of staying sober - good for you! I love your "lame" comment. It's what I think too - yet I have compassion because I was lame too. Always seeking people and restaurants and locations with alcohol. I am glad I think it's lame now though...

Had a drinking dream last night. I don't even fully remember it, but I was glad when I woke up! We went to a baby shower yesterday afternoon at a winery. The sister of the new mom, who I am friends with, though she is still only 32 yrs. old, was commenting on how when she drinks wine she gets "all puffy now". Her parents are big drinkers. I hope she doesn't go down the road I did - drinking to relieve the pain of trying to do and be too much. She is driven like I was at that age with career and family...

Anyway, I have to do my yoga. Excited to have a quiet day after a crazy weekend. I am definitely an introvert - I really, really need some quiet time to myself to re-charge. Have a great day everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all,
Another day in paradise. it's raining here, the very LAST thing we need. I think remmants of Florence are gathering off the coast and creating this rain for us. We were so lucky, I am counting my blessings.
Work is just insane, I got off the phone with another salesperson and he just can't believe our plight, either. We got a new boss on September 10 and he has gotten an earful. I hope he can help us get back to a place of sanity. I tell you, I do NOT know how that admin has survived, she is a *itch. I am convinced she is somebody's Mother In Law, it defies anything I've ever seen. This week is the last of our fiscal year. I will be glad when this one is in the books.

I am so glad I'm not scheming as to how to get my fix, Kensho. Looking back, it's just exhausting. All the time and effort and anxiety surronding it. I know, too, not to get complacent. It would be really easy to say I'M CURED and be on my way, but I know how my mind works....out of sight, out of mind. It would take one drink to be right back in the madness.
Lav, I'm glad you can pick and choose what projects you want to take on! Makes all the difference! Happy Monday, all, hang in, no matter what, and no matter who! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Byrdy, surely there's another company you can work for in the game? Or maybe the new boss will be forced to make some changes in that admin area. Some folk do seek drama, and some seek some sort of control in their daily lives. I'm no psychologist, but my take is such behaviour is often linked with past traumatic events in life, and a way to cope and survive without facing previous trauma. It is no excuse for being a PITA to everyone and no way to live, but i think i understand it. That doesn't make this acceptable behaviour. Stress and worry that cause pain is overrated and optional. As buddha says - pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Of course for us, dealing with our own emotional pain and past trauma's can be tricky, especially with booze in the mix. Acknowledging/recognizing past trauma but knowing we don't have to let it define us can be one way of moving forward.

Big waves to all. day 15. Oh yeah!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday evening Nesters,

Nothing terribly exciting going on in Lav-land, but that's perfectly OK with me, ha ha!!
Finally got to see results of last week's blood work & oddly enough everything tested was within normal limits except for the inflammatory marker - CRP. Duh, I know I have inflammation, just don't know where or why. I guess I just have to wait & see what the skin patch testing reveals Oct 12.

Pav, I do NO handwork whatsoever, lol. I have two commercial embroidery machines run by a computer. I am totally 'hands off'!!!

Choices, I'm so happy you are happy with your AF life - it is the best

Kensho, glad you enjoyed the chocolate ice cream, great choice!

Rava, a daily check-in here is a small price to pay for the wonderful support we receive, right?

Byrdie, geez, you would think the company hierarchy could figure their sh*t out.
That reminds me I need to send you that hag design, ha ha!
I am happier choosing what I want to work on & when I will or will not work. No more dealing with grumpy people for me, I have had my fill. Hang in there!!

G, nice job on 15 days! Keep going fella

Wishing everyone a peaceful night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have been so bone-crushingly tired for the last week, and caught my daughter’s cold on top of it. And I’ve been relapsing on ice cream —but that’s ok since at least it’s not booze! Like Available says, it takes awhile to recover from a severe alcohol addiction. It doesn’t happen overnight. I’m hoping after this full moon tonight that I’ll start feeling a little better.

Lav, I do hope you can make it until your October allergy-testing appointment without a flare-up!

Rava, hope your post-op appointment today was all good news too.

Byrdie, maybe the new boss will get rid of that admin! Fat chance though -being new, he won’t be fed up enough with her yet.

G, I enjoyed your insightful post on what is driving that admin to behave the way she does. Very true.

Kensho, I think you’re right that women are turning more & more to alcohol to try to get the energy to power through in order to “do it all”. There is enormous pressure on women to have to do and be too much, as you say; to be driven to succeed at career and family and everything else all at the same time.

Choices & Belle, so glad you’re back! Speaking of sheep, Choices, it does feel like being a black sheep to be a non-drinker out there in the alcohol-saturated world, and keeps my head screwed on right to be here with like-minded people in the same boat.

Thanks for having my back, everyone!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

If! I’ve been having cravings and I’m annoyed. Outta nowhere. I guess it’s thus new territory or fall or something strange but they’re just thoughts. Headed to bed! Have a good sleep / wake ... wherever you are!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters! Just a quick check in from Italy. We head off on the biking portion of our trip today, and will be on two wheels for the next 10 days or so. Having a blast, and totally protecting my quit.

The only other pressure I've felt was a brief bit at dinner last night. We sat at a table with two good friends who are also on this trip. My partner and the other couple all ordered drinks, and one of them asked me if I could toast with "just a little", but I firmly said no (maybe a bit too firmly). My partner chimed right in and said, "she will toast with water" and then we proceeded with the toast.

I think I'll talk with the friend today and let her know at least a little more about my situation. Probably not details, but just that I've stopped drinking for health reasons and that zero al is far easier to sustain than introducing even a little bit into my system. I know she won't pressure me after that, and it might just be best to explain things a bit (even though I shouldn't have to).

I have to pack up my load for today so I should get going, but I'm looking forward to reading back and catching up with everyone.

Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest today. Make today a good one!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Un-hung Monday morning, Nesters!

Kesho, I think it's really important to at least acknowledge those cravings/thoughts that come out of nowhere, instead of ignoring them or stuffing them back. We know from our own experiences and from all of the stories told here that a relapse can start quite "innocently".. so good for you for shouting it out. And for seeing that you need to take a step back and find some space for yourself. Time to regroup, recharge..

G-man, so nice to have you spending more time in the Nest!!

The overnighter with my girlfriends went well.. I was a bit annoyed by the drinking, just because it seemed so pointless. We're a group of 4 middle aged women who have known eachother for more than 14 years, getting together at 8pm to spend the night, everyone is exhausted anyway.. why not get cozy and have a cup of herbal tea? I love my friends but this encounter made me wish for a herd that just don't drink! :happy2:

Slo, I'm also eating too many sweets at the moment.. mostly ice cream. I'm hoping that will change as the weather cools!

shoot, just realized it's later than I thought!! off for brekkie and then work.

Let's make this day a good one.. if we aren't drinking, we're already on the right foot. Big Hugs all around..xx

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

I had a drinking dream last night as well KENSHO. I forgot about it until reading about yours. I was delighted it was only a dream because I was tired enough this morning (without going through withdraws of a hangover!)

When I was actively drinking addictively I would sometimes wake up in the morning and realize I had drank a bottle of wine (again) the night before. It was getting to the point where my drinking/drunking was becoming a blur and unintentional. I was just suffering most of the time either physically recovering or craving. I don't think I was aware that I was craving, it was as if all of a sudden, I would just feel like it was a good idea to have a drink and the merry-go-round would start all over again. This cycle could be daily or I could take two weeks off or more and then be hit with a feeling of hmm... I think it would be nice to have a drink, so I would. Or I was triggered and thought I needed a drink as in deserved it.

Slo, I guess I do feel like a black sheep in a way. I felt more so the first time I quit. I had a four-year stint of sobriety from around 2010-2014. During that time I think I was white knuckling it most of the time. My identity before I quit was very centered around being a heavy drinker, I only hung out with heavy drinkers and it's how I felt most comfortable in social situations.

I was so uncomfortable with navigating as a sober person though a drinking culture. Especially because I thought I loved drinking but was forced to give it up. I felt deprived and insecure. Thank goodness I learned more then I thought about living without alcohol and it's helping me now with pride having a non-drinker identity.

I also find opportunities to drink (the way I'd want to if I did) don't come up much in my life now anyway. I think there is often a lot more bravado around the topic of alcohol. Once I fell off the wagon I found quite a few drinking sessions with people who boasted were really out for only a couple and I was disappointed when it didn't go further.

During my four year relapse, I mostly was drinking alone, because I had progressed into a word slurrer and I was embarrassed about that. I didn't fit in socially in drinking situations anymore, so I avoided them. I may have one drink around people.. then finish off my night at home drinking alone. Gone were the days when I thought it helped me loosen up and enhance my personality.

I knew it was doing the exact opposite, during my relapse for years I knew it was ruining my personality but I didn't want to stop I was doing it to numb out, dwell on emotions, and used it as a crutch to cope. Obviously, it made coping harder in the long run, my emotions were all over the place and being numb was wasting my wonderful life away.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=22540]Choices[/MENTION], [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], and [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], waking up to read your posts is a fabulous way to start the day. You are now the confident, healthy, realistic, and brave women that were hidden by addiction. It is wonderful for your kids (and everyone in the Nest!) to have you as role models. If anyone struggling reads any of their older posts (or actually, those by any of us who've been AF for awhile), you'll see that in this, we're all the same and you can be free, too :hug:

Your trip sounds like such an adventure, [MENTION=21027]wagmore[/MENTION]. It's great you know that nothing about such a good thing would be better if you drank.
[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION] and [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION], thanks for showing us how to face life's challenges head-on without numbing the pain with alcohol --- nothing about the bad things would be better if you drank, either!

xx, NS