Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

TFIF!
Lort half mercy, these people at work. Give me strength. Today was the last day of our fiscal year, good riddance.
Looking forward to recharging my batteries this weekend. Its only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Not so damp today but I see we have reached exactly 8" of rain for the month now - toooo much!

Choices, wow, the universe works in mysterious ways, don't you think? With all the parental drinking going on, who watches the kids???
Awesome that you liked the meeting, I hope it continues to be good for you

Rava, I hope your day was restful for you.

Slo, the craft fair isn't until Oct 13 (not sure if I confused folks here). I have done this particular fair before & it was a lot of fun. it's outdoors so I hope rain doesn't get involved, ha ha!! It's fun chatting with people who stop by your table
Permanent quits are the best!!!!

Pav, I hope your weekend is relaxing!

NS, I have to agree with you - the baby shower drinking is a new-ish thing these days. That never happened when I was a younger person. Just doesn't seem right at all.

Kensho, go recharge yourself & enjoy the weekend.

Byrdie, I hope you can relax this weekend as well. Geez, people are so grouchy everywhere it seems.

Well, I'm not feeling grouchy & I'm wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, I went to an alcohol-free graduation party once, 6 or 7 years ago. I fully expected it to be there since the hostess was a very heavy drinker, but there was none! I and one other guest were just scouring the coolers looking for it. I decided that maybe this is just how graduation parties are done down there, since we had crossed the border into another state. I ended up enjoying the party just fine! (-at a time when I didn’t think that was possible for me due to social anxiety problems), and left with the feeling that this is how graduation parties should be celebrated.

Kensho, I was worn out from listening to all that weird U.S. political coverage the other day too, and remembering what the 80s culture was like. I’m glad that my adult daughters’ high school years were not like that. They all signed “no alcohol” contracts for sports, and stayed busy & socialized without alcohol throughout. And our young daughter who is a sophomore in high school is on the same track. I would have hated for them to have gone through/be going through that 80s house party stuff at young ages.

Also, I was feeling “sloggy” yesterday too, but that was because I had cut down on my caffeine intake in hopes of slowly weaning off of it. It was awful! So, while daily coffee is going since it messes with my blood sugar and causes me too much sugar cravings, I will remain a committed caffeine-aholic!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning!

Yes, my high school drinking was way worse than my kids' experiences have been. I was largely a "free range" child as my parents were part of the "me" generation finding themselves in hot tubs and in adult time (the opposite of helicopter parents). I cringe when I think of the stuff we were doing at a young age.

In a million years I don't think I would ever, ever attend any party in my town where alcohol wasn't served. Our place is way too small to host any parties, so I know it won't happen here either. I'll eat my hat if that happens (and I'll be pleasantly surprised).

Sorry you're so damp, Lav! I wish you could send some of it out here.

Have a good camping trip, Kensho. Nothing like the great outdoors to clear your head and re-charge your batteries.

Happy SOBER SATURDAY!

Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nester Friends!

It's been a nice Un-Hung Saturday in these parts. I planned a low key weekend with no set dates, to try and get a good start on kicking my sugar addiction to the curb. It's been a problem for awhile but I thought I could have it under control.. lately I've been feeling the crazies, cravings, distracted, bad mood, etc. I've had sugar "hangovers" and feel unwell. I've tried to quit the stuff a number of times, but I feel ready for it now.. I don't like how it makes me feel and don't want to have it in my life anymore.. so I'm set up for withdrawls!! And have replaced it with fresh fruit and yogi teas today. So far so good.. Ughhh.. I wanted to give up coffee as well, but decided to just cut back a bit and not have it first thing in the morning.. Like you mentioned, Slo, coffee can cause me to crave sweets.. I'm a sweet breakfast with a cup of coffee kind of gal.. so today I changed the game with a cleansing tea and then eggs and beans for breakfast. Let's see.. I wish it wasn't so hard. And that I could just take it or leave it. I've been paying attention for the past couple of weeks and I do tend to eat sugar when I'm Hungry, Angry, Thirsty, Stressed! What is "L" again?
NS, thank you for that post/reminder the other day..I would love it if that was an "auto" post here in the Nest every week.. I feel like I've improved A LOT! in the area of thoughts.. but the reminders still do me a world of good. They tend to come exactly when I need them..

Choices, I'm happy to hear you found a meeting you like! Sounds like you might be able to make some nice in person friendships there.. at the very least, it's a place you can be yourself 100%, a place of support.

Kensho, sloggy is definitely a word! Have a nice weekend away..

Big Hugs! to Lav, Pav, Ava, Byrdie, G-man, Slo, Nar (how are you?!), Belle (how are you,too?), Rava, Pauly, everyone else stopping in or flying by today.. Let's continue to make our days as good as they can be, ourselves as happy as we can be..xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sattidy, all! :checkin:

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just jumping on to say hi to everyone. Went out to lunch with old friends today. Everyone got a fruity alcoholic beverage but me and one other person. Had my Diet Coke with lime wedges. Didn’t have any drinking thoughts until I get home to my house and now I want to drink. UGH. So Netflix it is to try to stay distracted. I dont need alcohol in my life messing up my thoughts. I am stronger without it. Thanks for being here.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Nice day around here, zero rain for a change
Went to one of the local Apple Festivals just to be out & enjoy the weather a bit.
Ended up watching my grandsons so their parents could scoot out for dinner. Tomorrow is their 12th anniversary - time flies!

Rava, you probably already know but there are tons of distraction ideas in the Tool box.
That was so important for me when I first started out - staying distracted to stay safe
Nice you got out to lunch with friends.


Byrdie, you seem busy ~ I hope you are not working on a weekend.

On Monday I am starting on a 30 day SIBO diet with special supplements. You may have heard of a functional medicine doc named Amy Myers, MD.
My goal is to finally get my gut into the best shape possible & to eliminate some other weird symptoms that I have been dealing with over the years including that bizarre skin rash that popped up Labor Day weekend. Apparently when you have too much bad gut bacteria these weird things will happen. So it will be extremely clean eating for me for a few weeks, hope it works. Here's some info if you're interested: SIBO Breakthrough™ Program

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Saturday everyone! I am just checking in. I had some stupid thoughts today about how I could have some sake with my sushi. I quickly dismissed them and thought of all of you. Glad you are here to keep me accountable.

I hope that diet works Lav, these things seem to take a long time to sort out.

Hello Rada, Byrdie, everyone.

Talk to you in the morning.
So grateful to be sober!

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Rava,

I use to have that happen to me too. I could go out and be fine not drinking al and have my alternative while others drank al. Once I got home though I would be hit with a desire to have my drink of choice quite strongly. I had a sober stint of six months (during that relapse) where I did cave, (after a mom meet-up/catch up night out for my daughters pre-school at the time). No one was overdrinking, there was a bottle of wine that was shared by many, and I think some people had cocktails, but I don't remember. I remember being amazed that the bottle of wine and the glasses stayed quite full for a few hours. I was fine not drinking there but within 24 hours broke my sobriety.

I don't know what it is, but I think it had to do with some social anxiety on my part. It's like I could hold out in that situation, but once I got home, it was tough dealing with whatever funky emotions the situation stirred up. Ultimately, I couldn't cope. I think it would have helped if I honored that feeling and tried to breath into it and find some peace, instead I was quite confused and angry that I had angst and felt really annoyed the whole next day.

I'm not sure if you are into meditation but it might be good to do something like that to ground yourself. There are heaps of guided meditation that I love, and a couple of apps. Or as silly as this may sound, walk barefoot outside for a bit, you may feel better. I think grounding is the key, at least for me. Diet coke and lime sounds yummy!! Now I am craving that. lol

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav,
I havent been been busy this weekend, I just dont think I have much to offer at the moment. Between that hurricane, the shock of finding out my dad isnt my bio dad and this f’ing job, I think Im a bit depressed.
I know ‘this, too shall pass’. I was doing a little better before Florence hit. So I know I will feel better again. I see destruction all around here and my heart goes out to people. I have contributed to local churches and such and gathered up all the toiletries I swipe from my hotel stays and took them to a local school that's still housing displaced residents, and I know they appreciated them. I know this community will rebuild, I have seen it before. So there is lots of hope there.
With this new boss, Im hopeful that things will improve at work, too. He came on Sept 10th and I know he cant do much in the short run, he has to learn our processes, but he is saying the right things. I have 3 big deals Im working on and I hope and pray I can get one of them to happen. I just hope I can hold my tongue until then.
Life seems to be a little out of my control at the moment, but the one thing I know I CAN control is my quit. It is important for me to stay connected to my support, which I am doing. In all of this, NOT ONCE has AL appeared to be a solution, Im so thankful for that. Everyone has rough patches in life and its my turn, I know things will look brighter soon. Time heals a lot of things.
Is a beautiful day here today, Im planning on getting out and enjoying it. Hugs to all my friends here! Funny, Im closer to the people in this nest than I am to anyone, and never met a single one of you! Bah! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for sharing that, dear Byrdie.. you definitely have hit a rough patch and my thoughts are with you. I love how you stated that the thing you DO have control over is your quit, despite everything else going on.. I feel sometimes that that is one advantage of having found sobriety.. I KNOW I can get through really f******* tough times and I know I have something within myself that no one can take away or mess up. That can be comforting to me when everything else is upside down. Sending you hugs and love!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Byrdie - that was a profound post. I know that sometimes I take for granted your experience and wisdom and I think you're sailing through the sober life. Of course, I know what you've been going through, but your vulnerability here is useful to me coming behind you. Life does get tough sometimes, and it is good to hear your perspective about the one thing you CAN control. Thanks for sharing, and all of my love and good wishes to you. Thanks for sticking around to help us all.

LC - the L is lonely. I can feel sugar addicted also - I just started a 6-week cleanse where sugar is prohibited also (I get one indulgence a week, and usually opt for cheese...) I am hoping to re-train my brain away from expecting sugar after every meal as well.

Good to see you pop in Narilly - I've been wondering how your job is going. Did it smooth out at all?

Ok, I have to go do some work. I REALLY don't want to, but I will have a better week if I can get some stuff done today.

Happy SOBER Sunday.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good luck to all of you changing what you eat to try to improve your health. It is so odd that the medical profession doesn’t pay more attention to the effects of food on our physical and mental health. Food is nothing more than a bunch of chemicals – just like a drug. In fact, many of our most potent drugs originally were isolated from plants. Of course what we eat affects us!

I quit eating almost all sugar and reduced my carb intake dramatically several years before I quit drinking. I wasn’t really aware of it at the time, but my problems with alcohol actually increased after I changed my diet. I often see the reverse situation here where people who have never cared about sweets or “comfort foods” constantly want them after they quit drinking. It actually makes sense – our brains want the neurochemical hit one way or the other. When the familiar trigger is taken away, we turn to another one that we realize makes us feel, at least in the moment, better. But for all stimulants like that, tolerance develops. So the amount and frequency of intake increases and cravings start hitting us. It’s just what happens when a system designed to keep us alive long enough to reproduce is exposed to more and much stronger triggers than we’ve evolved to handle. (If you do give up sugar, you will be shocked after about 30 days to find out how very sweet many foods are in their natural state that you never would have classified as sweet - like cashews! Tolerance to “sweet” is definitely a real thing).

After I quit drinking, I found that if I ate junk carbs or sweet foods, it actually increased my desire to drink. It was almost as if once I stimulated my brain, it just went haywire and wanted more and more and more! Many stop-drinking protocols, including MWO, recommend not eating sugar or crappy carbs when you quit. I believe that could be effective if you are very disciplined. However, eating sweets and comfort food also can be a very effective tool to help a person quit drinking, as shown by all the donuts at AA meetings!

If I ruled the world, no one would drink alcohol or eat the standard American diet. However, the damage done by sugar intake isn’t acute (and isn’t going to be reversed overnight) so if eating comfort foods enables you to keep your quit going, particularly during the first year, I sure wouldn’t give up my quit to meet this new goal. If it turns out you are like me, and it is easier not to drink if you don’t eat crummy food, then this dietary change might be really helpful. I guess my point is not to lose sight of the primary goal.

Many of us have found that things really settle down during the second year and if you are a person for whom substituting certain foods for alcohol helps, maybe don’t be too hard on yourself during this first year. You are helping yourself enormously by quitting drinking - and making it more likely that you will be around to make other adjustments in the future, making your life better and better and better as you get older. I definitely feel better at 60 then I did at 50, which pretty much makes sense given that I stopped poisoning myself every night when I was 54 .

That said, I would love to see more people on the no sugar train :smile:. I don’t think the already stressed US healthcare system is at all prepared to handle the looming burden of diet/lifestyle-induced chronic diseases that so dramatically reduce the quality of life. And I don’t know anyone who says they don’t feel better once they start consuming only real food – or as our grandparents called it, food :wink:.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Well after a 4 day weekend i am now back to the grind.

Sending you hugs Byrd. There are a few people in the nest i know would never drink and you are one of them. you are my idol and like you, i make the choice to drink but there is nothing like being accountable each and every day.

Lav i hope you cleanse helps with your allergies and its getting cooler your way.

We had a couple of nice days on the weekend and of course its supposed to be a beautiful day today since i am at work. Its my daughters 27th birthday today and i wonder where the years have gone. Sometimes i miss the madness of bringing up 4 children but its fleeting!

I was driving to work this morning and noticed that on the bus stops are new signs advertising home delivery for alcohol from a huge booze shop. Ever single damn bus stop, kind of infuriated me when the government is saying that al consumption has gone down. i know if i had of saw this in my drinking days it would have felt like xmas to know my friend was only a phone call away.

Take care x