Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Welcome, LW! Good for you for making the decision to come back. As you said, this is such a supportive community.. if you haven't checked out the Toolbox, you could start with that (I'm not sure where to get the book).. lots of new posts have been added. https://www.mywayout.org/community/j...-tool-box.html.. Right at the top of "Just starting out".
I know, that for me, what really helped me to finally get a good amount of time under my belt, was JUST focussing on my sobriety for the first 30 days.. not taking on too much. I always wanted to change everything all at once and it was usually too much, too overwhelming to be sustainable. Too much of a set up for "failure". I made the decision, that for 30 days, the only thing I needed to do was not drink alcohol, one day at a time, paying special attention to cravings in the beginning, what was causing them, what could I do instead to deal with the all of the things/triggers them, etc. Exercise and good nutrition definitely help us.. but maybe make sure your expectations aren't too high there. There is time for those things later if need be. Just my experience.. It's really good to have you here!:happy2:

Congratulations on your "A", Choices! That must feel really good after having put so much work into it.. I agree with you with regards to eating well.. now that I've been off sugar, I feel my mind is free to make better decisions in general, but especially with what I decide to put into my body. I'm really noticing a difference in my blood sugar/moods.

Lav, I sure hope you'll notice some big changes once you dive into that plan.. looks good!

Big shout out and hugs to Byrdie, Pav, Ava, NS, G-man, Nar, Slo, Rava, Kensho.. who am I missing? Wishing everyone flying by or stopping in, a lovely day..

[lifechange]

Re: Coming back

X-Post [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION].. Hi!! I'm with you on that cup of coffee. I just love it.. and I'm finding that if I don't drink it first thing, I feel ok in my gut.? That one is really just a habit for me, as it was already much easier today than it was on Saturday. How old is your daughter at home? I can't remember.. and I didn't know you've raised 4 kids. I can imagine one would need/want a break before grandkids come on the scene!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all--

Welcome back, LostWoman. Sounds like you're ready to give yourself a great birthday present - sobriety! I'll tell you the three things that worked for me (in addition to reading and posting like a fiend MWO). 1) an in-person therapist - I could lie to myself but not to her face. 2) The Bubble Hour Podcast (really helped me to listen to women who seemed like me and who had real advice about what to do), and 3) getting outside and walking as much as possible. Exercise replaced the "high" for me, I think.

Now that I type that, I realize there were a lot more than 3. I also focused on my quit - said no when I needed to, I listened to the advice I got here, and I started with the acceptance that I didn't drink any more. Any time I felt like drinking, I had to say "well, I don't drink, so what's option 2." Also, forever and one day at a time aren't mutually exclusive.

You probably know all of that as you were sober for 5 years. You can get back! I don't know anything about the book - I never bought it.

LC - HI!

Choices - I know it is exhausting, but enjoy that time with your daughter. It goes SO quickly...

Off to work. Have great, SOBER days.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

I loved your post [MENTION=22540]Choices[/MENTION]. It’s hard when those kids seem to run circles around us! How do you find sober people on Facebook? Friends who are self-proclaimed, or are they searchable? Great work on your school paper! Nothing better than the reward after hard work. I miss school and would go back in an instant.

Hi [MENTION=24265]LostWoman[/MENTION]. Welcome back! I’m sorry to hear you are in that place you don’t want to be. I also astounding to me how much different the drinking me and the non-drinking me are. Just keep reminding yourself that you will like your life and yourself more with AF days. Congratulations on 5 years previously - you can do it again! The best place to start, in my opinion, is the “plan”. Make sure you write yours out as you begin again and visit the toolbox again for lots of reminders and ideas. You can do this!

On sugar… nothing helped me more than just quitting sugar altogether. The first 1-2 weeks were filled with cravings, then they just went away. Also, if you are a coffee drinker and have blood sugar issues, consider adding fat to your morning concoction. It seems to balance the delivery of caffeine through a longer time and instead of jitters and crashes, I have a more sustained energy release. I add coconut milk, butter, MCT oil or ghee, along with vanilla and sometimes a dash of honey - or a medjool date (as well as collagen powder) and blend. It’s a yummy, frothy morning treat.

Hope everyone finds something to be grateful for today!

CROSS-Post PAV - that "plan 2" works! It's always something else my psyche or body is needing (not alcohol) - so what's another way I can address this desire for the bandaid of alcohol? Food? Sleep? An hour to myself? Sitting, standing, expressing my anger, writing, getting some sun, getting lost in a movie or book, exercise, setting goals.... I got so used to just turning to alcohol for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, that I stopped listening to myself.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Looks like Im going to habe to go to Cincinnati for a xustomer visit. The only time they can meet is Friday afternoon (Oct 12). Oy. What’s second prize, two nights in Cincinnati?

Watch it, now! That's where I live! And [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] is right up the road 60 or so miles! :happy2:

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters and Welcome LW. Glad to have another newbie here. I can relate I was sober for a total of 8years 4 years, screwed up then 4 more years. For the last year I have dabbled with drinking again. A few times, I have drank to excess. The whole time I am telling myself that I can handle it. When in reality I canÂ’t because its all I can think about. The thoughts about how soon can I have my first drink,then hiding it from everyone. That lifestyle becomes exhausting. I am now going to download the bubble hour podcast as I have never heard of that one before. Just started meditating yesterday on a free 7 day class. I am finding that quitting again gets harder and harder so now is the time to just do it. The toolbox is an awesome place to jump into. Good luck and keep posting. I have been encouraged by many on here and that is what’s bringing me back.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Welcome LW. Glue yourself to here and be accountable. i gave up drinking just before my 50th birthday and like us all, i wish i had done it sooner. 5 years is a lot of sober time and your story helps me realise that nothing is worth drinking at. Look after yourself and be your priority. for me i stayed home for 3 months and refused any invitations to anywhere where there was al, i even did my food shopping at 7am when the bottleshops werent open.

Nar, -2, well isnt that pleasant already. good luck with getting the new job girl.

Byrd i am like you with excel but i am teaching myself slowly. of course i do everything the looooooooooong route.

G, i will have to look at the link you posted. thanks for that. i am not a link person but if it helps then great.

a balmy 18 degrees on the drive to work today, i love dress weather. mind you it wont get to that temp tomorrow but i appreciate the warmth while i can.

A busy work week for me. The SO and i are planning a 3 week holiday in Thailand in January so that is something to look forward to. I have already sorted my fur baby out. Since her sister died she frets when i am not around and at 15 i need to prioritise her, so mum is going to babysit for me. Now i have that sorted i can plan what to do over there other than relax and do nothing.

My son turns 30 in two weeks, damn another thought of where did the years go. Mum will be coming down for her op and i will be having a few days off to look after her. Now who would have thought that statement would have come out of my mouth but after 5 years sober we have a much better relationship and i have lost the guilt she used to dump on me and i stand up for myself now. She did mention me having a week off but we have a huge new program being introduced to the hospital so i cant see that happening. i did mention i can drive her home which is my escape plan for when she drives me insane.

Congrats Choices on your A.

Slo, i think i am still worn out from my child rearing days. it is nice now to not have being a mum as the top priority now they are self sufficient though i am always there for them if needed and of course they have their moments.

take care x

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ciao from Italy everyone! We're having a fantastic bicycling trip in Italy - lots of hard days with mountains and/or long miles, but the views are well worth the hard work it takes to get to them. Still hanging tough with my quit. Tonight was a great chance to test my quit resolve though. We bike hard miles today, and everyone was in a rather celebratory mood this evening. Before dinner, the wine started flowing and most people had at least one glass before dinner. I was asked a few times "should we get you a glass?" so I could share in one of the many bottles being passed around. I said no, I'm not drinking. And one of our friends on the tour asked if I had to teach tonight (because I've taught classes a few nights). I said no, I'm not drinking at all. And he was fine with that, left me alone. Unfortunately, one of our other friends sat next to me at dinner and she drank way too much. It was totally clear to me as a non-drinker, but I think also to the couple across the table from us who seemed to nurse their one or two glasses through several hours.

Watching her made me sad, but also strengthened my resolve. It was interesting - if I had any temptation for drinking it only lasted as long as the first drink. After that, as most people became sloppier, the glimmer of appeal disappeared and was replaced with borderline disgust or disdain.

Fellow nesters, don't drink. No matter what you think it does for you socially, or emotionally, or otherwise - it doesn't do that. It does things you can't see clearly when you're drinking but that are NOT who you would ever want to be.

Reading back now. Hellos and waves to everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, you are so right. Whatever AL made me think, put a minus sign in front of it and that was reality. It's the people and experiences that make up a wonderful memory, NOT what's in our glass!
Mr G, I watched those 2 tutorials on excel, thank you, I did learn a trick or two. It gives me an idea I need to watch more of them. I did the mind-numbing task of saving 32 pages out of a workbook today, but I got it done. The admin copied my boss and said " I'm not sure who you think the admin department is, but it is ME, just me". Hateful woman, so I did it myself. It took me all morning.
Mr V, I'm sorry about the remark about Cincinnati. I'm a Southerner, so any time I have to leave home I have issues. Let's split some chili, what say?
Lost Woman, welcome back. Your story took me right back to the awful cycle I was in, too. As we say, nothing changes if nothing changes....trust me, I hate change, but even I was finally able to get myself sober with the help of this nest. You are on the right track in getting all the booze out of your space. Kensho nailed it also, get a PLAN! When you get a craving, EAT! If you have to, get Thanksgiving Full! That will stop any craving you have! We will be right by your side each and every day. That's how battles are won! We are so glad you are back.
I'm going to call it a day! Hope everyone has an easy evening! Byrdie

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Let’s see KENSO after I listened to the unexpected joy of being sober autio book by Catherine Gray I found her on Instagram which just led to finding tons of other people!

Some I like are:

sober revolution, Laura Mckowen, thisnakedmind by Anne Grace, Hip sobriety by Holly, the sober glow, She recovers, sexysobriety, Happy wife sober life, share the sobriety, better without booze, off the rocks, soberup buttercup, dry January, and The one you feed. I found you can follow a lot of these same pages on Facebook.

There are links to blogs too, but I don’t usually read those unless I have time. They are really good when I do read them especially Laura Mckowen and Holly of Hip sobriety. I would imagine Unpickled is good too by the host of the bubble hour. I’ve meant to look that one up. I love her.

I have made my social media my space. I have deleted lots of pages that glorify alcohol and rarely see photos of people drinking alcohol. Sometimes a random photo of a friend at a party or party photos but it never looks appealing, and I think it’s funny when they disappear after a few days as no one looked as attractive as they thought when they guzzled poison and made clown faces.

Podcasts: The Bubble Hour, The One you Feed, and This Naked Mind are my go too ones if I am struggling.

I love MWO but it is not nearly as active as it once was and sometimes I need more support. These pages are positive and fun to follow. Lots of people comment, and there is heaps of help out there!

Hellos to everyone, I read every post and wish I had more time to respond, but my girly is wanting to get to the beach.

xxx

[Apatite]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi! I'm new, just jumping in to say howdy and yes, yes, yes. I'm just coming back in from losing years of sobriety and not only can I say that nothing is worth it, but that it does not make anything better. It didn't make me more socially acceptable, it didn't improve my relationships, it didn't make me happier, and it didn't keep me company. Also, it was a hard climb back to day 1, even though I knew what I was missing and desperately wanted to stop.

I'm with you, [MENTION=24265]LostWoman[/MENTION] ! It's possible, and you can do it- we can do it. All of last week, I wrote down 4 things I was grateful for, the first being a sober morning. I've gotten to be grateful for that 8 times now! I'm also trying to be kind and gentle with my mind and keep reminding myself to take it easy and take it slow. Hope to see ya around!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

So great to see so many posts today

Choices, congrats on the A!!!!
Enjoy the time with your busy little one, time does fly by quickly.

Hello & welcome to LostWoman & Apatite!
Glad you both found us & decided to hop in the nest. It is true that the MWO site has changed over the years but we still offer each other wonderful support.
I haven't even looked in the store lately & don't know what they are selling anymore. The computer that I used to download the book nearly 10 years ago is long gone. My CDs were sent out to a fellow member many years ago but never returned.
I got along just fine using my own supplements & eating healthy, well balanced meals & of course some light exercise. Checking in here religiously twice per day was the biggest help I think. The Tool box is still loaded with great ideas to help you make your plans. Plan to succeed & stay close to the nest!

Wags, your trip sounds glorious & I am happy to hear your quit is strong.

Not much to report from my end so I'll just wish everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

I agree, Lav, great posts today.. I always like to hear about what helps others, what plans you've all developed, what works for you. and Choices, thanks for the list of instagram/podcasts you find helpful. And what a great idea to fineline your social media time to those people/sites that support you and your sobriety. Well done! I don't have any patience these days for b.s. alcohol "stories"/images.. I have to be a bit careful not to be too critical with my close friends. They know my stance and I don't have a problem talking about it, but I sense that trying to pound it in with a hammer isn't usually the most effective way to reach them..:happy2:
The other day I was on the phone with my dad, who just had a hip surgery, could stand to lose at least 50 lbs and drinks too much. He said he was trying to eat better and I mentioned that it would also help if he cut down on the wine.. for instance not drinking mon-thurs.. he wanted to tell me about the health benefits of red wine then stopped himself mid-sentence, thank goodness. He knows the truth and if he wants to drink it's his choice.. if he wants to discuss the benefits of it, he'll have to find another drinker..

Ava, a trip to Thailand sounds so nice.. I'm envious! Is it your first vacay with the SO?
Wags, I'm envious of you, too.. though I would've already died from the bike riding you've described! Thank you for sharing your experiences while on vacation.. I guess it's exactly at those times, when one is away from daily life, that the realizations can hit hard!

I, too, read every single word written here and I get something for myself (call me selfish!), something I can use in my daily practice, whether it's an action or a thought, that helps me continue to find my way out. Every day. I'm very happy and grateful to be on this journey with all of you. I often have tears of relief at the fact that I've finally accepted my "truth" and I feel and see that this acceptance with regards to alcohol is allowing me to accept (or let go of) other things I wasn't aware of.. couldn't see. I was quite arrogant in my denial. I guess I had to be, because at some point it was so painfully obvious that I was in the middle of a huge power struggle with myself and anyone else who might confront me. TGTDAO thank god those days are over!

Today is a holiday here (reunification day) and the city is quiet as quiet can be.. blissful! and it's raining and windy outside so there's no reason to leave the house.. pancakes and tea, movies and monopoly and general snuggling.
Big hugs all around..xx

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. Its a beautiful day here in my neck of the woods. Last night I awoke to the sound of my dog vomiting all over the bedroom floor. I literally picked him up and ran into the bathroom so he could complete his sickness on the tile vs the carpet. If I was drinking I would have never even heard this. So I am grateful for another sober day/night. I have been listening to the Bubble Hour and working on meditation class so I feel like my head is in the game right now. I am so grateful for this site and all the non drinking support and information that it provides. Wishing everyone a great day! Welcome Apatite!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rava, who doesn't want to be sober for THAT! At least it was him and not you.

LC, love your conviction. We were arrogant together at some point, if I remember - alcohol eventually always wins. Might as well accept this sooner than later and save time for real life!

I'm off to drive the kids to school. Wanting a productive day here, with time for yoga. Happy hump day!