Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome, Apatite, and congratulations on 8 days sober! You've found a good support and at a great time.

Wags - YES! That first one looks so appealing for a minute, and then you realize how that lady is going to feel on her bike today, and you realize how great it is to have a clear head to be able to be in the moment and enjoy Italy! That trip sounds amazing. Did you organize it, or is it a tour?

Somewhere on this site is a thread with book, blog and video recommendations from everyone. I'll bet NoSugar can find it... I really got a lot of help from reading blogs and a few books. Thanks for the list, Choices.

Running a bit late this morning. Happy SOBER Hump Day.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

"Acceptance" can feel like giving up, not caring, or even failing. I've always (well, until the last few years anyway) tried to overcome every obstacle in my path and gain control, giving me the outcome I wanted. It still is tough for me to simply accept some things like health challenges. I have a nerve problem that I really want to tame via lifestyle or diet changes. I take a drug that helps but doesn't cure and, anyway, I always want to get to the root cause of anything and fix it. But its been 5 years and I'm working my way towards acceptance, I think.

I certainly tried to "fix" my drinking problem for years, without admitting that it was actually an addiction. And like many here, I tried everything I could think of from only buying those little bottles of wine, to switching to white wine which I don't even like, to marking the 5 ounce line on my glass, etc. etc. And the more I tried to control it, the more it was constantly on my mind, and so the more it controlled me.

Accepting that an addiction wasn't something I could outsmart and focusing my attention on how to contentedly live a life without alcohol did not feel like failure or surrender after awhile. It felt, and still feels, like FREEDOM.

It is wonderful to see new and returning people in the Nest and in a selfish way, I really appreciate you who are trying to return to an AF life after relatively long periods of success (@Rava, @Apatite, @LostWoman). I try to avoid becoming complacent but must admit, it all feels like a long time ago and that that was a different person. In many ways, she was a different person than I am now but I know the dormant neural pathways are there, ready to spring into action. So, thank you for reminding me.

There is a collection of stories like yours in this thread: https://www.mywayout.org/community/g...etrospect.html
It would be great for all of us (and hopefully would reinforce your quit) if you shared your story there so people who are thinking of running that "just one" experiment like I occasionally do, can go read there and be reminded not to give away the freedom we gained. (Posts in the Nest are great but just about impossible to find the one you're looking for when you need it!).

Anyways, :welcome:!


I just saw your post, @Pavati. Maybe you mean this one: https://www.mywayout.org/community/g...a-toolbox.html ?

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yo S'up!

All i've got is today. This moment. I'm thankful and grateful for my good health and optimism. What can i do that i love today? Let's see.......

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Let’s see, G. i would have loved to choke 2 coworkers of mine. The hag admin has a minion. I was on the phone this afternoon talking two fellow salespeople off the ledge! While we do have a new boss, it will take him some time to get his legs. We are in an unreal situation. All of us miserable.
Welcome Apatite! We are glad you’re here! This place saves lives and Im one of them! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Pitch dark out at 7 pm but I did notice the chickens went inside their house early. They are not as dumb as you think

Geez Byrdie, your work seems to get worse by the day. Really sorry to hear that
I just decided what I want to do to cheer up a bit - it will be in the mail in a day or two. Hang in there friend!

Hello to Rava, Kensho, Pav, G, NS & everyone checking in today.
I guess you could say I have lost my arrogance but definitely not my attitude, ha ha! There is an important difference & we wouldn't have 'Lavan-ittude' otherwise, ha ha!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Taking my husband out for dinner & a show at a theater where my daughter lives tomorrow. It's his birthday so we will meet up with daughter & family for a dinner party of sorts.

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, welcome Lost Woman and Apatite, you have come to the right place. Keep coming back and posting, it really helps. The Bubble Hour podcasts really helped me. There was a podcast with Dr John Kelly on The Bubblehour, that episode literally saved my life.
Like Pav said, one day at a time.

Nice reading everyone’s posts, hello G, Life,Ava, Byrdie, Choices,Lav, Ken, Wags, Ava, Rava.

Goodnight
Xo

[Choices]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!
I am zonked! 4 hours at this fantastic playground play place with this gorgeous crochet playing net for the kids. This place was great. The food was excellent (not always the case at kid places I find). There was a coffee and ice cream stand, and yep, a full bar serving alcohol.

Not that long ago I would have thought that was cool. It looked rather dumb to me watching some people help their kids onto some of the play equipment holding a beer? Come on, really? Oh well, to each their own I guess. I'm just glad it didn't look appealing. I did indulge in the homemade ice cream, and of course a coffee!

My little girl had a blast. She ran, jumped, climbed and made a few friends. I enjoyed watching how happy she was as she played. My heart feels full. I love being a sober mom. I'm very grateful I could climb out of that dark, icky, isolated and depressing wine trap. It is the moments that I had today that I would have missed entirely had I been drinking. I would have been wanting more and not wanting to over do it so it would have been physically painful. I would have missed out on her smiles and joy.

A big welcome and hello to Lost Woman and Apatite. I also had a period of sobriety (4 years) and then relapsed for 4. I tried a few times during that relapse to stop, and I agree it did get harder each time. It is sticking with me this time, so I am holding on to it. I think the hard part for me was I did not want to give it up again because I had missed it and I knew my quit needed to be for good. I finally had enough of being sick and tired and time, my health and happiness just kept slipping away.

Is it like I was procrastinating feeling authenticly good for the cheap buzz that ultimately concumed the real me. I don't miss it at all now and wish I gave up sooner. Anyway! Welcome and hugs.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Choices, your posts are so inspiring and genuine. It is funny how we fight heading for a better life.

That said, I had a weird migraine yesterday that was proceeded with weird aura stuff - like forgetting words, yawning, serious brain fog, touch sensitivity... I felt like my whole body was one giant exposed nerve that was over-sensitized. My pain is rarely through the roof, but the other symptoms are always pronounced. I have a nervous system "thing", I guess. Anyway - I found myself wanting relief last night. I even considered (not seriously) drinking to just escape. I'm not sure why lately alcohol has been on my mind more than before. But I didn't drink (and won't), and I feel human this morning.

Anyway, I have to run to the city today - I'm shopping to spend other people's money!! Have a good day.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nest.

Lav, I LOVE this...

I guess you could say I have lost my arrogance but definitely not my attitude, ha ha! There is an important difference & we wouldn't have 'Lavan-ittude' otherwise, ha ha!

That ego check is SO important - same thing NoSugar alludes to - trying to wrest control of everything is exhausting, especially where alcohol is involved. And speaking of NoSugar - that's another post for the book!

Choices - Well said! Being present for my kids is one of the greatest side effects of quitting booze. Mine were older when I quit - glad you can be there for her! You sound so great.

Nar - I agree - the episode with Dr. John Kelly about the science of addiction. I still talk about it to others. There are at least two interviews they did with him.

Kensho - thinking about drinking is normal. It is how we coped for so long. I NEVER thought I'd get to the point where I am, but I can truly say that when I have a stressful situation now, I don't think about drinking - it isn't my go-to any more. I sort of nodded my head when those before me said it would come, but it really did. Imagine that! Now I honestly can't imagine facing difficult things drinking or hungover. I can't imagine how people hold their shit together...

Ok, Off to work. I really do need this weekend off.

Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I often have tears of relief at the fact that I've finally accepted my "truth" and I feel and see that this acceptance with regards to alcohol is allowing me to accept (or let go of) other things I wasn't aware of.. couldn't see. I was quite arrogant in my denial. I guess I had to be, because at some point it was so painfully obvious that I was in the middle of a huge power struggle with myself and anyone else who might confront me. TGTDAO thank god those days are over!
xx

I love this, Lifechange! We have to own our truth.
And [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], that’s poignant and also funny that you were “both arrogant together at one time”.

[MENTION=22540]Choices[/MENTION], my daughter belongs to a dog park that has a built-in bar. Isn’t it weird now that the things that used to be done sober, like taking your kid to the park and exercising your dog, are now done accompanied by drinking??

I drove to another state yesterday to stay with a friend for a couple of days, so I was driving and then didn’t have WiFi for the rest of the day. She’s not a big drinker at all, so it’s going fine. She was disappointed last night that I couldn’t go to a rooftop bar because I wasn’t drinking, but I assured her that I could still go. So I had a giant tonic water with limes -so good! And the bartender gave it to me for free. All she had was an 8oz. beer that she sipped very, very slowly. Who gets an 8-oz. beer?! So he gave her that little thing for free too!

Thanks for all your fantastic posts lately, everyone.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Slo, a dog park with built in bar? I think i've heard it all! But that doesn't surprise me. Pressure to survive in western economies sure seems to be increasing rather than getting any easier. Bills and expectations all contributing to a cycle of stress that feeds on itself. Like Pavi said, i dunno how folks keep it together whilst boozing. That increases the stress and pressure even though the aim is to relieve it. Short term fix - always. Then round and round we go again. No hangover here this morning. Why? because i don't drink pilgrim.

Have a bewdy!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters. I am in the middle of the witching hour. I decided to eat dinner early. So now I’m too full to drink. That seems like a good solution for now. I had a doctors appt today so I listened to the Bubble Hour podcast all the way down and back from the appt. I am going to find the one with Dr. John Kelly that was recommended. Trying to stay the course. It’s definitely not easy but I know I am not a normal drinker and moderation is way too complicated and stressful. Moderation makes me think about drinking every minute! Hope everyone has a great day.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Moderation is for chumps Rava, chumps i tells ya! Well, it is for us. Great work. Have an easy night.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, I really hope you get this weekend off Pav, I get it off, oh yeah! You are sounding so good

Slo, I agree with G, a bar in a dog park? Seriously, can’t people do anything without drinking?

Yeah, Rava, the witching hour is tough but it looks like you are doing well. I find distraction to be a good thing. I tried to moderate for 20 years, lol, it only took 20 years of not being able to moderate to make me quit. Right on G.
Hello Life,Byrdie, Ava,choices- your story is really inspirational by the way.

Have a gooder.
Don’t drink today.

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi guys! I'm here and sober. Just haven't been around lately. I drank back in August for a weekend, said it's ok, getting back on the wagon right away, but we all know how that goes. The weekend turned into a month long binge. I didn't' want to come back until I could say I was sober. It's been 20 days. I think each time we learn something. What did I learn this time? I realized how proud I was of those 40 days I had under my belt, I kept remembering how good I felt sober, how clear my mind was, how much work I got done, etc. I've lost a ton of weight so I'm not embarrassed to get in my gym clothes so I've been killing it a the gym. I'm up everyday at 4 AM to get there. I haven't ever had any yearnings to have a drink.

Take care and have a great evening.