Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greeting Nesters,

Almost midnight but still time to check in & wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

Welcome back Overit & congrats on your 20 AF days. Keep going

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats on your 20 Days, Over It! To infinity and beyond!
TFIF! Hopefully, today will be Low Impact. It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! :rara: Byrdie

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi dear Nesters,

TGIF (or tfif!) is all I have to say!:happy2: Even though we had a day off this week, I've been so looking forward to the weekend. And it's sunny and a bit warmer- a perfect Autumn day..

Good to see you back in the Nest, Over-it! Stick with us, girl! And great job getting to the gym at 4am. You must do a fasted workout? What time do you go to bed? I always dream of getting to the gym in the morning before work, but never seem to manage. It's only a 5 minute bike ride, but that seems like a lot when it's so dark and cold. Though I didn't make it early in the Summer, either. Ha!

Good to see you, too, Nar-- I've missed you! When will you hear back about the new job?

Rava, I wasted so many years trying to moderate.. like you said, it takes up so much space in our brains. It helped me so much in the first weeks, to say out loud what was going on in my mind.."I feel like drinking right now. WHY is that? what's really going on?" if I could name it, I felt I had the power to do something about it.. write a list of things stressing me out, call someone, eat or drink something, have a bath, come here, go for a run, etc. etc. Each day was an opportunity to positively deal with whatever my triggers were. I'd never really done that before and it was great to re-write my witching hour(s).. How are you feeling physically?

Great posts to read.. thank you all for being here!
Big, fat hugs..xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all.

I'm definitely in the TFIF crew this week. It's been a LONG one. I can't believe I sound good, Narilly. Not that I'm bad - just have been down lately. I'm working on getting more exercise and quiet time, we'll see. I AM good on my quit because I don't drink!

LC - You're sounding great, too. Rocking it, my friend. Keep it up.

Rava, if you're still feeling shaky, post, post, read, read, especially in the tool kit. We're here for you. I am a counter, so counting helped me. First 30 days, then I aimed for 60, then 90. 100 was a big one because of triple digits. When I hit those milestones I checked in here and told the world about it (well, the MWO world), and threw myself a celebration. It really helped me set and feel accomplished for reaching small goals.

Over-it - Missed that paper bag mug. Glad you're back. Any reflection on what had you take that drink? Anything we can do to help? The gym certainly can't hurt, although a 4am wakeup would NOT help me...

No tickets to Boozeville here...

Pav

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi dear Nesters,
Good to see you back in the Nest, Over-it! Stick with us, girl! And great job getting to the gym at 4am. You must do a fasted workout? What time do you go to bed? I always dream of getting to the gym in the morning before work, but never seem to manage. It's only a 5 minute bike ride, but that seems like a lot when it's so dark and cold. Though I didn't make it early in the Summer, either. Ha!

Yes, fasted workout. I go to sleep about 9. Coffee, which I've never really drank before, is my kryptonite!

I've always been a gym rat, an early morning one for that matter. If I wait until later in the day, I'm tired, hungry, or something always comes up. There's nothing at 4AM to interrupt......except more sleep.

Having said that, I was up from midnight until 3:30 so I went back to bed until 7. I made it to work on time but kept thinking, "man, if I had been up drinking that whole time (which was my M.O.) I would feel like complete #@$^&* today, ALL DAY, and have the GSR brothers on my back." I might be disappointed in missing the gym but I'm awake, alert and ready to get this day rolling. I have activities for the night starting right when I get off work and I'll be able to participate fully, not drinking all day to ward off the shakes and feel normal.

Thanks for the welcome back. I plan on staying right here in my part of the nest SO MOVE OVER!

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all.
Over-it - Missed that paper bag mug. Glad you're back. Any reflection on what had you take that drink? Anything we can do to help? The gym certainly can't hurt, although a 4am wakeup would NOT help me...

Well, I took that drink because I planned it. I went to see a cousin in the city for a visit before she moved to the other side of the US. It was a "vacation" for me. We went to a concert. Then I spent the whole weekend in bed, my favorite thing, drinking all day, instead of enjoying her company and seeing the sites. I really disappointed everyone and gave them all something to talk about.


I don't care. That's a different me. I'm proud of myself, I've got plans, goals, a great job and living a pretty good life. No where to go but forward.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters,

Over it. that's me spending the whole day drinking in the face of other fun and interesting events/time with people i like. WTF is that about? I don't fully know, but i DO know that sort of thinking and isolation is damaging to me (and others who care about me or look up to me), including my place in the universe and all i have to offer the human race. It's also more fun for me to connect with the world and honour myself and this crazy amazing universe by simply turning up every day with an open heart and open mind.

There ain't no cottonpickin' ticket to no freakin' boozeville here. Unsubscribed to that event.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Enjoying the sun on this lovely Saturday, our temps are rising and i enjoy this time of year. Have done some washing and cleaned the kitchen and sitting having a coffee. I remember back to the days i would want to kill the chirping birds and feel like death. I think the shakes were the worst bit at the end of my drinking career and the anxiety.

Great work on 20+ days Over, lovely to see you back on board. 4am gym, i admire you for that. like you i lose my motivation later in the day so maybe i should do that too.

Nar, i had a laugh when you unsuccessfully tried to moderate for 20 years. 10/10 for persistence! I must say i marked a 10/10 for persistence also. For me accepting i can never drink again was my biggest challenge but as time goes on al doesnt control us anymore. we learn to live life without it and learn to hate it.

Well i had better go and bath my fur baby and get ready to go to the SO's.

Hi G, not sure i could ever do the diet you are doing but great work on sticking to it. sounds bland to me!

Take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Happy Friday to everyone
Feeling completely exhausted today, low energy & all that. I think not being able to fall asleep until sometime after 3 am this morning had something to do with that, ha ha!! I guess this old granny is not used to being out so late anymore, oh well.

Great to see everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all! Get your AF weekend plans in place.

Lav

[Apatite]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oooo. Weekend plans- let's see. Other than tackling a laundry pile, I have rehearsal/ singing on Saturday and Sunday morning, and I'm planning to bum around downtown MPLS on Sunday afternoon with a friend- we plan to walk around a lake, do some shopping and grab a bite. That leaves Saturday- hopefully a workout, some closet organization, some reading and a scary movie or two in the evening. No drinking in these weekend plans!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have been reading the toolbox and listening to podcasts. I need some of your thoughts. Why is it that I can be around others drinking and order coke with no problem. I can go to weddings, graduations, picnics, etc and not drink a drop. The problem for me is when I get home or am alone. That’s when the cravings get the best of me. Is it because I’m a secret closet drinker and dont want others to know? This is my private hell and thats why I’m staying in this nest. Since my surgery, I have had way too much time alone recooperating and slipping up. I go back to work next week and back to structure. I want to take this opportunity to be focused and accountable. I am not a bad person and do have a brain. It just seems as if my brain is useless sometimes. My Beast brain is winning and I need to squash it and shut it down. So today will be more podcasts and meditation. I am NOT giving up.

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

. I saw this picture on Facebook today and the caption was:

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE, YOU CAN START OVER!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

This quote from [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] is great advice!:

“ It helped me so much in the first weeks, to say out loud what was going on in my mind.."I feel like drinking right now. WHY is that? what's really going on?" if I could name it, I felt I had the power to do something about it.. write a list of things stressing me out, call someone, eat or drink something, have a bath, come here, go for a run, etc. etc. Each day was an opportunity to positively deal with whatever my triggers were. I'd never really done that before and it was great to re-write my witching hour(s).”

Yay, [MENTION=20472]Overit-still[/MENTION] is back! I was worried about you, and so glad to find out that you have been working on your sobriety.

[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION], I think we/you like to drink when we get home in order to decompress from the event? At least, that’s why I have when I’ve done that.
Maybe it’s just your pattern & habit kicking in? Or did you feel deprived, so making up for it at home?

Sounds like a good weekend plan, [MENTION=24264]Apatite[/MENTION]!

I’m home now from my few days away. But, now I have to drive to yet another state tomorrow for my cousin’s wedding. He insisted on a super-early RSVP, or I would’ve declined if I had known I wouldn’t be drinking. Weddings and not drinking are my worst! But, I feel ready to tackle this now.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!!

Crazy beautiful weather here today and looks like it will accompany us into the upcoming week..

Overit, had to think of you this morning at 6am when, instead of having my toast and morning coffee, I headed to the gym! I knew the girls would sleep in a bit, it was kind of warm and I was still a bit full from my food frenzy on Friday evening.. so why not Just do it? It won't be a regular thing, but when I happen to get up early and have the time and energy, why not? Thanks for putting the idea back in my mind!:happy2:

Rava, I was a big at home drinker during my last few years of drinking. When I began having blackouts, feeling insecure about how I'd acted around others, drinking more than everyone else.. and then especially after I'd told people I'd quit (and had quit for a time). That was the hardest thing for me, breaking the drinking at home habit because no one was here to stop or judge me. The girls were with me part time but I sort of, most of the time, kept it under control when they were here. I think what finally hit me at the right time was Pav saying, she couldn't have the life she wanted AND drink. That was true for me for a long time, but I was finally ready to really accept it and do the work it takes in the beginning to deal with the reasons I was drinking and make new habits.. which for me was the main thing. Also, so important for me was not waiting anymore until I didn't WANT to drink to stop drinking. I was somehow always waiting/wanting that moment where I was sooo sick of it I didn't "want" it anymore and I realized that time might never come. I stopped anyway because I just know that if I'm drinking I'm not happy, not really.. and if I'm not drinking I am much happier (at least most of the time!).
Also, like you said, structure is really important.. I think we have to find a sort of "structure" for ourselves when there isn't anything enforcing it.. that's been critical for me. You are doing such a great job in NOT giving up, you keep coming back, reading, posting and talking about your struggles. That isn't easy. I hope I'm not being annoying.. :hug:

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend.. or at least a manageable one. Big hugs to everyone!xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning!

Rava - that seems like a conditioned response to avoid being with YOU! Maybe hard thoughts arise when you're alone? Maybe it is a trigger to be alone in your house? Can you rid your house of alcohol completely? Come home and change into your jammies and slippers so you can't go out. Make a BIG, comforting meal? Maybe meditation and journaling? A nice bath? Reading blogs and MWO posts? Your favorite junk show? And for me, there was ALWAYS ice cream that first year. I know it was a substitution, and I hear what NoSugar says about sugar, but I needed to reward myself sometimes, and ice cream did the trick. The good news is that my reduction in calories from drinking was sufficient enough so I didn't gain 80 pounds.

My current escape is the Great British Baking Show. Everyone is so nice to each other, and the reward is simply being named the "star" baker for that week. If someone needs a particular item, the give it to each other. And the FOOD they make - I love drooling over it. I also like Queer Eye - they're so nice and positive as well. That's my way to let my brain rest.

Off to hit the hills with my dog. Can't wait to meet this beautiful day UN HUNG and with no regret from last night. What freedom!
Pav