Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Freedom indeed Pav!

When i look at my reasons for boozing, i see one that seems the most obvious. It is the imagined stress of putting myself out there and really living fully. It is escaping and putting my life and dreams on hold while i drink and have a break from my truth, my purpose, my potential as a human. Wow, now there's an early sunday morning insight from the young buck from downunder! :eek-new: Have a great weekend evabody.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Breaking the cycle of addiction is hard, no two ways about it. I had 12 days under my belt and was sitting watching tv with hubs, he went downstairs for some reason, it was 8 at night, I had the day MADE, but I lept to the fridge, poured a giant mug of wine and chugged it. I still cant believe I did that. WHY did I blow it when I had that day in the bag? The only thing I can come up with is that I’m an alcoholic and that’s just what we do. We can never underestimate the power of addiction. It takes hard work to break free, but let me tell you, it is worth it times a million! I am proof of that. I never thought it would happen for me, but day by day, I got storonger and IT got weaker. Yay me! The key to sticking to this is SUPPORT! Hang in there, everyone, we are right beside you! Byrdie

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just checking in again. Lots of good thoughts here. This is my normal time to drink. I just went to the hardware store and got some pumpkins. Going to get into something that doesnt involve drinking. I am finding that it is way too easy to just drink. Saying no and meaning no is what I want to accomplish. I am going to accomplish this one goal today. No drinking....

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

RAVA, I did the same thing - drinking alone - because it was my own private way of escaping. My husband didn't believe me in the beginning because I would moderate with crowds or at parties... then sneak to the basement and take shots the moment we got home. I found that I didn't like myself very much then, so I escaped. But that improves with AF time!

AVA, NAR - I have no doubt that that's all it would be for me again if I ever went back to drinking.... unsuccessful moderating.

Sorry you couldn't sleep LAV. Are you still taking the steroids?

We are visiting the challenging friends tonight. I'm not sure I have a lot in common with them any more since I don't drink. We have grown apart, sadly. But it will be interesting to see how much. They have been when I've quit my quit more than once. No worries about that tonight.

G - offer it up to the world fella.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Cloudy but still cool around these parts & that's OK.

Rava, the only way I was able to break my drink alone at home habit was by making a solemn vow to myself, the universe & anyone listening at the time to never go & buy another drop of AL! I was so sick & tired of disappointing myself I just had to come up with a way to break the cycle & that worked for me. To this day I have never stepped foot into a state store (the only place in my part of the state where you can buy AL). I have told my kids that if they want beer or wine here they have to bring it themselves. My husband buys beer & keeps it in his garage fridge, I don't want that stuff. Hang in there & you will find a way

Hello to Apatite, your weekend plan sounds good.

Slo, hope the wedding is not too rough on you.

LC, Pav, hello to both of you

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

another beautiful day in Melbourne. Having some issues with the SO that i am trying to work out. his communication is a lot better than 2 years ago but still needs work. I am finding that residing in two places is just doing my head in, i dont feel settled and i am tired. He of course says he likes his own space (oh hello so do i) but its nearly make or break time. He asked me what i wanted for myself and i just told him i want to be settled and happy. Just a bit over it all but the positive is i wont drink and i remember ever word i have said and im rationale (never thought that would be said about me!).

Rava, home was my drinking place, i projected to the outside world i had my shit together but once home just drank till passout. for me i had to remove the wine glasses so i couldnt see them, get rid of all al, shower and get into my pj's as soon as i got home and try and put that al voice in a box. I did spend a lot of time talking to myself and al. I came on here like a lunatic and i watched a lot of youtube vids on alcoholism and movies also. i wanted to acknowledge that if i didnt stop drinking this would be my life for always. I also had my children to call or text and talk me out of drinking and they were very supportive. And i ate like a pig with a care factor of zero!

Pat, sounds like you have a great weekend planned. I was so proud of myself for getting through a weekend sober and my house looked much cleaner.

Slo, i am not a fan of weddings either, way too much al. i stayed outside a lot when i did my first sober wedding. I spent a lot of time smelling my drinks or clinging onto them. Too much pressure for any enjoyment. Now i am sure i would not have an issue at all which is what time away has given me.

I read on fb today that a girl my eldest daughter knew is in recovery. she lost her children, her home, went to jail but she still used ICE. today she is 6 months clean and gained 45kgs and looks like a different person. She posted something about how no one realises how hard stopping is but the only person who can do this is ourselves and with help.

Off to sit in the sun for 5 minutes which is about the limit before i start to burn but it will be a great 5 mins.

take care x

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sat sober evening here on the West Coast of USA.

Things are great. I made it to the gym to accomplish 6 out of 7 days this week. I'm so proud of myself. I'm ready to gain back my muscle and look bad @ss!

Have a great night. I'm drinking my sleepy time tea and cuddling up in front of the fire and gonna watch a good movie with my pup.

Thanks for being here everyone. Can someone please pass some twigs......it's a little chilly on this side of the nest.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

It has taken me some time to realize that a big, drunken party isn't really my scene either. I do love to dance, so as long as there is good music I have fun at weddings. I felt so anti-social saying no to parties at first, and I still sort of have my old FOMO (fear of missing out), but mostly I prefer small gatherings.

Nar and Ava - Hah - yes, a LONG time trying to moderate... My line at the end was "I have to learn how to be a better drinker because I don't want to have to quit all together..."

I am off to work on yet another Sunday because if I don't my week will stink. I'm feeling VERY sorry for myself... Nevertheless, I don't want to drink to pretend to try to feel better...

Have great Sundays...

Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Sun! (My Chinese name)

Pav, wait a minute, you got a dog? I missed this along the way! Holy smokes, what kind of dog and how old?70C7B93D-4F91-4F78-9660-05946D80FC98.jpg
Here are my weenies, hope this pic worked. This is the first time I have posted a pic on MWO.
Funny I don’t like parties so much either, I used to be Such a party animal and would look forward to going to parties. Ihad SO much fun and then I didn’t...I would always lose control and the shame,remorse and hangover were terrible.

Yeah, all the CD’s, meds, Kudzu, and hypnotherapy in the world was not going to help me moderate. I joined MWO in 2006 and didn’t figure that out till 2014, sheesh!

Rava, I used to come home after work and really crave a drink so one of the things I did was change my routine. I would go shopping after work, meet a friend for dinner or coffee, see my Counsellor (super helpful), go to a movie, work out, take a cooking class, I got a dog and walked it, basically anything to take my mind off drinking.

Ava, I get what you are saying about your SO, I would be like that too. I love my home-it’s my safe place. Actually I am a bit of a home body. I laughed when you said you came here like a lunatic, lol, I remember that. We were ALL lunatics, thank goodness we quit drinking!

GMan, wow, look what thoughts come to you early in the morning when you are not hungover
I won’t say you are UnHung... ahem...

Byrdie, I think I did the same thing, guzzling that glass after being sober for a while. That AL brain is pretty forceful.
Over it, going to the gym is great, I think it really helps and it’s good to focus on something else besides drinking. Focus on that six pack-yeah!

Lav, good idea about never buying the stuff again. I have bought wine for a couple of parties but that’s about it.

Life, hello, thanks for asking about my job. I am hoping to hear about an interview I had last week but my hopes are not high at this point. Oh well, I have a job for now which is fine. I am going part time next week and get a couple of weeks off before the end of the year so it’s like I’m not really working, haha. I don’t mind that. The oil patch is starting to pick up so I will probably be in high demand in the New Year

Hello Choices, SLO and NS.

Don’t drink today.
Xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I'm soooooo tired this evening. Could probably fall asleep sitting up in my chair.

Yes, Pav, that was my line, too.. I so wanted to learn to drink better so that I didn't have to stop. I would have done anything! I did try everything. Hope you find a bit of down time today..

Ava, I hope that you and the SO find some solutions that work for you both. I'm sure you will.. so good that you can stand up for yourself and be rational. Gosh, it is so much easier to argue when we can be rational, in control of our actions, isn't it?

Byrdie, those were the times that baffled me the most.. I would have my plan in place, get through the day and at the last minute would f*** it up by drinking.. it was as if I were two people. My rational mind turned off. That was/has been/still is sometimes hard work, as you said!, but in doing the hard work, I've learned (am still learning!) so much about myself and the state of denial I was in.

ok. I wanted to respond to many more, but I'm really tired. Did I already mention that?
So shout out and hugs to Lav, Kensho, Gman, NS, Nar, Overit, Rava, Choices, Ava, Slo.. all of those flying by or stopping in today.
Have a lovely rest of your Sunday or Monday morning!xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Cross post Lifechange, have a great sleep, I hear you are tired

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters! I have had a sober weekend and actually happy to be returning to work this week. All that unstructured time was enough for me. I am happy to go back. Watching football and drinking a new Diet Coke with Mango. I do not plan on drinking today. Thanks for being here. Hope everyone has a good day/evening!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, all.
I made some cookies today, so that was fun. I am going to take them to my meeting in Cincinnati. They look like burgkar alarm keypads. I also made some that look like severed fingers for Halloween. Bwahahahaha.
It was a good day, didnt think of AL once! Hang in everyone! Byrdie
394A9A53-E254-4186-A083-8C52A24171DE.jpg

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

After I posted here I found out my cousin’s wedding was yesterday, not today! So I sped out of town and made it there on time. And it was fine! I finally didn’t mind being at a wedding sober. I am over that mountain that I didn’t think I could climb! I was still able to go around and mingle, and I still wasn’t able to dance because I don’t know how to. So nothing changed. I did rely on sugar & caffeine to get me through though.

My same-age cousin who is alcoholic was also there, still drinking; and it did make her a little more giddy & funny and able to connect more smoothly with people --but I don’t want to go through the b.s. she has in her life just to have some seemingly positive effects from alcohol: for example, she couldn’t drive herself to the wedding because she couldn’t blow sober into her interlock device, her S.O. broke up with her recently due to her drinking, and he wouldn’t allow their young teenage daughter to attend the wedding with her due to her drunk condition. So, no thanks to all of that!

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], how did it go with the challenging visitors?

Byrdie, those are some ghoulish cookies! Very clever.

Rava, good that you are returning to your normal schedule tomorrow! But, still be vigilant of that witching hour.

Goodnight or happy Monday to all.

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good sober evening. Still lots of chores to get done by the end of the day. At least I'm sober to get it done.

Have a great evening all. Have a great start to your week tomorrow.