Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All--

Slo - the full moon. At schools, sometimes I swear I notice it. It seems too weird to me that the moon could cause weirdness (batshit craziness), but there DOES seem to be some connection? Maybe it is just that statistically speaking, weird weeks are 25% likely to be those with full moons? Anyway, I'll be glad when this week is over. Some friends and I ARE taking advantage of it, though, and going on a full moon hike this evening. I'm really looking forward to that.

I was cooking last night and was going to put some vermouth in my stir fry to get that flavor I can't get in any other way. One smell and I was instantly craving a martini - the EASY relaxation and smooth mood that would come. It was fleeting - I put the bottle away and decided to use lemon instead, but it WAS alarming how quickly that came. Of course, I play that one drink out to the habit it had become, and I want nothing to do with it. I did a livingroom workout with my son, ate some good food, and was all good. I know I've asked this before, but does anyone still cook with wine? I can't get that good flavor with anything else I've tried...

Lav - Sorry about your brother. Vietnam took a toll well beyond all of the deaths, and in a time "real men" didn't suffer from PTSD and mental illness.

Kensho, hope you heal quickly.

Byrdie - so sorry about your job. Glad you got that proposal out. Isn't it funny to think about life before and after. What an amazing difference.

Have great, sober days.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, when did you say you are going to retire?

Slo, letting your bother know you are there for him and understand him is exactly what I would want. As you know, going through this process is a deeply personal thing and only WE can do it for ourselves. I would want to know that someone else close to me has had similar problems, and that they still love me and are there for me. But then it's up to him. On the topic of drinking events... they have TOTALLY lost their appeal. I deceived myself for so long that certain events were about the events themselves - but really they were about alcohol, with the event as an excuse. I see this plain as day now, and call my husband on it all the time. I have absolutely NO desire to watch people drink themselves stupid in the name of "x". Let's live life, not escape from it.

RAVA. I think it's common to want a lower low during the procrastination of quitting. It's a delay tactic. I'm so grateful that I never had a serious immediate consequence from drinking (like a car accident, lost job, lost relationships, blackouts - though I did get a DWAI at 22). But I was starting to accrue subtle consequences that would have added up to lasting tragedies - like distance from my husband and kids, distance from myself, severe fight or completely ignoring topics of conflict. I didn't hit a rock bottom, but I was headed there and I'm so happy I started living the life I was supposed to without delaying.

PAV, I cook with wine from time to time. Sometimes a white for cioppino, or a red for a beef stew. I pretend it's a random ingredient when opening it, and I find that I still hold my nose when I'm around wine. Once its in the pan and cooked off a bit, I don't think about it twice. Usually, I am able to just move through it without another thought. But once in awhile, I feel a pull or have a memory that makes me uneasy. I do have cooking wines in my pantry, but I hide them from daily view. I'm happy to report that one half bottle of red has been there for months.

I did stop to get a bottle of wine for my in-laws visiting for a recent football game. I find that I'm able to sort of have an out of body experience in a liquor store, as infrequently as I find myself in one now - probably once every 6 months. A couple interesting things happened this last time though. One, I noticed the lady ahead of me. She had on the same fake smile as I used to have when she asked for the small vodka bottle behind the counter. I saw RIGHT through it... pretend its for anything other than me, and like my life is great, so no one suspects. On the way out, she was on her phone and I overheard her telling someone she was at Subway buying some sandwiches. Lie. I saw her perfectly outfitted exterior and her fake smile and her scam - and I saw the old me in her. I knew exactly what she was doing.

Then, turns out the in-laws brought their own wine to our house. These are the ones who have pressured me in the past. So the one I bought wasn't opened. I tried to give it to her at the end of the night but she didn't end up taking it. So I handed it to my husband and told him to store it in his downstairs fridge. He asked why? (Like duh - really). I said "Because I don't want to look at it every day," in front of both of them. They used to make me feel so badly, but now I'm much stronger and I just don't care at all what they think. Get it out of my sight or I'll throw it away. It's not my life anymore.

That's what AF time has done for me. I spent SO long caring what others thought. At 317 days, that kind of criticism just doesn't penetrate me.

Anyway, I'm headed for a hot shower in hopes the steam helps my throat and lungs. I may have a slower day today. And YES, lets get past this full moon. It's feeling all sorts of crazy.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick fly-by to say hello and add another day to my quit. 800+ days now, and setting my sights on the 1000-day milestone

Have fantastic days and eves everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Well work is crazy, not sure why i took on someone elses job for 4 weeks but i did. Worked from home yesterday as i had to take mum to the clinic and now the drs want to see her in a weeks time as one of the skin grafts has not really taken as yet. i wanted to take her home today but its not feasible for me to drive three hours there and back and then back again to get her for an apt on Tuesday next week. I think i am just tired now and trying to get to work by 5am to get through the day. Thank god i dont drink! There is no way i could do this job if that was the case.

Pav, i dont use wine but i did see some pod coffee that was Baileys Irish Cream flavour with 0.001% al. god it is foul and i used to love the taste of Baileys (not that i could ever afford it).

Congrats on 800 days Wags, i am sure you will make 1000. I look at my days now and still think its someone else.

Well better get back to work, need to clean my desk to try and fit another computer screen on it. looks like i have worked from this desk for 10 years not 3 months!

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola evabody.

Wags! 800+ days....congratulations and Wowza!

Big waves to y'all. A psych nurse i know told me that the emergency department in his hospital is ALWAYS busier and crazier on a full moon.

Day 44. Right on!

Ain't Got No, I Got Life - Nina Simone - YouTube

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters
Kensho, I used to be that lady at the liquor store, too. Id buy the big jug and a small bottle of vodka and say it was for our weekly poker games. There was NO poker, it was all for me. Frightening that I drank that much, my poor liver.

Wags, congrats on your 800+ days! That is so cool! Very proud of you!! Here’s an extra hat:guy:
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening batshit-crazy-ites, haha!!!

The full moon was always a difficult time when I was still working in hospitals. Yes, sometimes they even howl on night shifts, LOL

Just wanted to share today's message from the Universe with all of you. It reminded me of the stage of acceptance we all have to go thru to reach our AF goals
For millennia, Lav, the path to enlightenment has been made up of many steps.

Most commonly, it begins with festering misunderstandings that lead to pain, the pain then leads to growth, growth leads to clarity, clarity leads to fun, fun leads to joy, and joy leads to true illumination.

May I recommend skipping to the fun part?

Love you forever, Lav -
The Universe

Wags, great job on your 800 days!!!
And G on your 44 days

Byrdie, I hope you are baking a cake tonight or doing something fun!

Hello to Rava, Slo, Kensho, Pav, Narilly, Ava & everyone.
Ava, I hope your mom's skin graft improves.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest! Use the butt Velcro if the craziness gets out of hand.

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

Thanks for the illumination, Lav!

Last night's full-moon walk made me appreciate and enjoy the moon - perspective is everything. My day yesterday was pretty crazy but a lot better than Monday.

Kensho - so weird to see those scenes with fresh eyes, right? I always want to talk to that person and give them my experience, phone number, support. It DOESN'T have to be like that. Freedom not fear! Thanks for the tip about cooking with wine.

Happy Hump Day, all. I won't try to name you all, but keep on keepin' on!

xo

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

LAV, thanks for sharing that wisdom from the universe. Good point about misunderstandings... communication and not assuming is key!

Wags - 800 is a great number - congrats on your achievement!

LC, I am touched by your selflessness with Andre. You are a good person - kind and sharing. Thank you for being such an example.

I cancelled my morning meeting because this cold has me feeling terrible. Going to take it easy once I get the kids and husband out the door - maybe even sit on the couch and sip tea. I forgot what this felt like, it's been so long. Makes me wonder why my immune system is down now.

Hope everyone has a good day.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi dear Nesters,

Great posts, as always. I love it when I come here, read and relate to you all.
The kids have 2 weeks off school now.. Autumn break which is one of my favourites.. I was able to take Mon-Wed. off so we've been lazing around. Though my youngest and I just made it out for a quick run which did me a lot of good.

Kensho, loved your post yesterday. I'm so happy for you, that you've found your truth, your confidence, your voice! Your one year anniversary is just around the corner.. A lot of people are under the weather/sick here. I think it's normal with the change of seasons.. good for you for taking the day off. Feel well soon..:hug:

Lav, thanks for sharing the message of the Universe. I think I'm in the growth-clarity leads to fun stage at the moment.. feels pretty darn good. That growth from letting go/pain part sure can take some time, can't it? But at some point it just gets easier. Like Pav was saying the other day with regards to not drinking.. so nice.

I just read that lunacy/lunatic come from Luna.. I hadn't put one and one together. I know my crew in the kitchen are often affected by the full moon with regards to sleep and mood! It sure is a beautiful moon.. and I also love the evening walks.

Congrats on 800 days, Wags!
Love that song, G-man! One of my favourites!

Gosh, I was also that woman at the liquor store. There was recently a woman in line in front of me at the market at 730am buying 2x liter boxes of white wine.. for a grand total of 1,80. I felt so sad for her. At some point we probably wouldn't have cared who knows.

Big hugs to you all! NS, Ava, Choices, Byrdie, Nar, Slo, Rava, Pav.. hope I'm not missing anyone. For the sake of my memory as well!:love:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

LC i meant to mention about Andre, you are a treasure. i know that feeling of not being bothered but then the appreciation that follows. Andre sounds like he is finding his way and you helped him by being there.

Hope you feel better soon Kensho. I had 5 bottleshops that i used to rotate between but the problem was id forget which one i had been to the day before. 5 shops and all close to home, just ridiculous. One of my friends was in the bottleshop at the supermarket i go to and i could not cross that line and go in there and chat. he laughed at me and came out. Al scares me and that is a healthy thought.

3 more weeks until the other worker comes back and i am not frazzled. Going away at lunch time tomorrow for the weekend with the SO. Things still not overly good in that respect so hopefully i can work things out. I have adamantly told him i wont be attending the cocktail party and he keeps saying there wont be much booze! Does he not realise he is talking to an ex drinker. I am looking forward to some downtime and my son will be home with my mum to change her dressings on her foot. she is more mobile now which is good. Dermatology apt today for them to burn off some skin cancers, lucky me! The bonus is i dont keep cancelling as i am hungover and my blood test results from last week were great. I love blood tests now i dont drink, making up for all the ones i missed when drinking.

well back to the grindstone for me.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all!
Kensho, I'm sorry you have a cold, they stink. I got a shingles shot yesterday and coincidently, felt like poopy today myself, all achy. My arm is some kind of sore. Feeling better this afternoon, tho. I hope yours passes quickly.

Pav, I'd be scared to walk around in the dark woods. What about lions, tigers and bears? Not to mention crazy people. I admire your getting out there!
Didn't choke anyone today, so that was good. Didn't hear from any of the big deals I'm working on, so that stinks. The sooner they happen, the sooner I'm outta here.
Hugs to all! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Cool & mostly sunny today, no complaints
My younger grandson is here for a few hours & tying up my laptop. That leaves me the ipad, ha ha!!!!

Kensho, hope you are feeling better!

Byrdie, maybe it’s a case of ‘no news is good news’, hope so anyway.

Ava, I hope your time away is good, you deserve a break.

LC, it took me years to realize that this quitting thing is basically a thinking game. As soon as we agree & commit to changing our thinking almost anything is possible

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.
Heading out early in the morning for grandparents day at our granddaughter’s school, fun!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, what could be prettier than a moonlit hike under a Fall moon?! Not much. My little sister posted a photo of last night’s big, bright full moon, and it was gorgeous.
I don’t react to the full moon per se, but to the lunar calendar, going really low during the second half leading up to the full moon. It’s like PMS was, or perhaps like PAWs —or both together. It’s LUNacy, [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION]! (I didn’t know that either!) Can’t wait to feel better soon.

Pav, I substitute apple juice for white wine in my slow cooker corned beef. AF beer could be used for Guinness stew. Otherwise I use cooking wine, since it’s salty and I don’t have associations with drinking it.

Kensho, thanks for the great advice, and so I only informed my brother of my own struggles with alcohol overconsumption, but said absolutely nothing about his; just shared some empathy for his life situation.

I have to go to a cocktail type party tomorrow night, but I don’t mind those so much since they’re short & controlled. What I mind is staying sober at a long blowout party that is all about heavy drinking and getting drunk. Although actually my event has enough food to be considered a meal, a little entertainment, plus an auction; so there’s a bit more going on than just a cocktail party. But still, the main point is drinking & mingling. I can do it, since it’s only a few hours. I will survive!

Have a safe night in the nest, all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest!

AAh, the cocktail party. Never enough food, always too much drink. I used to LOVE them! I could get a gin and tonic down before I had any food and get that quick buzz. Too bad I didn't stop there... Depending on the venue, I find them my most challenging social situations - a lot of small talk, loud, standing, blah. If it is all people I know, I'm fine, but I get bored with small talk, especially as the night evolves and people get drunk and stand too close. The good news about not drinking at an auction is that you know you won't make any dumb purchases (which I may or may not have done in my past...)

Byrdie, no tigers or bears. Maybe the odd mountain lion, but they mostly stay away from people. We're loud enough anyway. Fingers double crossed for those deals to come through and you can get some freedom from that place...

LC - Autumn break - we need that here! Are your kids on a year-round school? That makes so much more sense for learning and sanity.

Enjoy your quiet time, Kensho. Good luck with the SO, Ava. I hope he behaves.

I WAY overbooked myself this week and weekend. A lot of work and a lot of fun, but not enough Pav time. I need to work on that...

Happy Thursday, All.

Pav