Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Quick Sunday check-in for me.. I've had a relaxing day of sitting on the sofa, reading and watching documentaries..
I was so sad to hear of the shooting in Pittsburgh. Nothing really to say.. everything seems so out of control in the world right now, especially in the U.S.
I always wish there was something I could do to help the situation.. but I haven't come up with anything yet. Except to do the best I can on a daily basis to be helpful and loving to my family and friends and people I come into contact with.
I wish I could reach out and give each of you a big hug!:hug::hug:

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, everyone!

I stayed sober through the picnic, but relied heavily on food & sugar, and a little extra caffeine, to get me through and keep me being sociable and making lots of small talk. Annoying, but I’ll just have to accept that substituting is the best I can do.

These annual events are important ones for me to nail sober since I’ve had problems with them in the past.

Like I was on 60 days sober during my very first quit on the day of that auction one year. I asked for alcohol-free wine at the bar, which my husband assured me they’d have, and was given white wine by the very young bartender which I thought was AF (never really drank that; don’t much like white wine), but 3 glasses in discovered it was regular wine. So since my quit was over I decided to continue taking the night off of abstinence and had lots of good beers (which the marketers now call “craft” beers), then tossed my cookies on the way home.

And the Company Picnic has always been a hard one for me to be sober at, and there is so much alcohol there. I once spent it sneaking to my car repeatedly to glug down Guinness after Guinness while pretending to be sober.

So, I’m finally breaking my longstanding drinking associations with these events and handling them sober.

Lav, I don’t totally understand why the “picnic” has drifted so far from summer over the decades and onto the last weekend in October. But they make it work, with pumpkin painting and things like that.

Pav, that’s so cool that you know how to dance, and so can still enjoy yourself and join in so well at a fundraiser gala. Good job.

Thanks for the movie tip! I might see Meru, especially since I like Jon Krasinski.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Hope you are feeling better Kensho and back to the grind!

Slo, glad to see you ate your way through the party. i didnt go to the cocktail party on Friday night, the SO tried and tried to get me to go but nope i stayed home. He wasnt gone long! Throw the hubs boots out the door, he may get that hint!

Had a lovely weekend away but not long enough. No Wifi which was just fantastic. yesterday we stopped at a river and i sat on the bank and read my book while the SO fly fished. It was so peaceful and relaxing. i managed to get up early and go for a walk though it was rather cold. just looking at the countryside and cows with the mist around was so nice. i even managed to sleep in which was much needed. now back to the grind with a 5am start.

Mum goes back to the clinic tomorrow and hopefully they give her the thumbs up to go home, she says the only thing that will stop her going home is gangrene! Fingers crossed as it will be nice to get my house back even though its been nice to look after her.

take care xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,
Enjoying a beautiful Sunday here in Canada. It is still nice out but winter is coming...

I am grateful to be sober, it’s so nice to actually like myself and not berating myself for how much I drank last night. Plus I do not have a hangover.
Yay!
Menu- I will check that out.
Ava, that sounds like a wonderful day
SLO, do what you gotta do to stay sober, great job!
Hello everyone
Have a good one.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

I enjoyed a quiet & sane day today ~ no kids around, ha ha!
Mostly cool & cloudy with a few peeks of sunshine, just right for this time of year.

Hi there G, Byrdie, Pav & LC, glad you all had a relatively quiet weekend

Slo, glad you got thru the picnic unscathed!
I understand your angst about revisiting places & events where you drank too much, ugh. Staying on your plan is the best way to get past all that & you are doing well

Ava, glad you stuck to your plan & skipped the cocktails, yuck. Sounds like your weekend worked out just fine. I hope your Mom gets good news & is ready to head back home.

Narilly, glad the decent weather is holding for you!

Hello to everyone else & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - your time by the river sounds lovely. I could sit and do that, especially by streams or rivers moving over rocks, for hours - the sounds and visuals of this just mesmerize me. Glad you got that time.

Gman - totally agree on the role of nature in healing and restoration. I'll take it in any dose, any form!

Slo - great job getting through your weekend!

Byrdie - hope you had a relaxing weekend as well. You of all people deserve it!


On my end, we had a productive weekend. Had to clean out the rain gutters which is never an easy chore - lots of up and down ladders, bending and twisting, time on the roof, etc. Could not have done it hungover that's for sure! Managed to sneak in a couple of bike rides and a visit to the farmers market, then taught for two hours Sunday eve. All in all a couple of good days. Today I'm off to meet with a potential new client. I'm excited because she's local and we'll be able to meet in person if we decide to work together. Most of my clients are online these days, which works fine but I like having at least a few I can sit down with in the flesh! Wish me luck - I could really use 2-3 new folks on my workload.

Have great days and eves everyone!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I always wish there was something I could do to help the situation.. but I haven't come up with anything yet. Except to do the best I can on a daily basis to be helpful and loving to my family and friends and people I come into contact with.
I wish I could reach out and give each of you a big hug!:hug::hug:

And here's a hug back to you, LC :hug:.

I've been reading all of the inspiring messages here in the nest the last week or so - you guys are full of wisdom. I love seeing the evolution of some of you I've known for a long time. You're not even the same people you used to be. You didn't recover to be the people you were before you became addicted, you've grown up and out to a higher level of awareness with such empathy for others and love to share. I wish I could spend time with you in real life, and get some real hugs.

I've been struggling with current events and a feeling of powerlessness for quite awhile and especially lately, wondering what to do. I came across this today, and am going to try to follow the advice, much like LC is doing:

“It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Boy, NS, those ARE words to live by.
The world IS overwhelming at the moment. So many people do harm to others for no good reason other than hate and intolerance. I tell you, being an alkie has certainly taken me down a peg or two on the humility spectrum. Life is so precious, it is a crying shame to see it wasted.

A typcial day for a Monday in the security business....I think I've got all the problems addressed that my customers had over the weekend, now to this pile to stuff I need to do.

Ava, I can't tell you the last time I sat and relaxed like you just described. Watching the mist and cows by a stream, doesn't get any better than that! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo, on the topic of mud on shoes… is there a possibility of him doing the floor cleaning for awhile? He’d change his behavior if he had to clean it. 30 years is a long time to set in a behavior though. I feel for you! Good job with your picnic. You just rewired that event in your brain and strengthened the “don’t need booze to do this” circuit. How is your brother?

Pav, did not watch Meru - but put it on the list for later - it looks good. I watched Under the Tuscan Sun instead - a tried and true favorite girly movie about taking care of self. Hope you got the down time you were needing.

LC, nice that you got some couch time! I completely understand your frustration. It is so hard to watch how hateful some are. They have really unhappy souls. I’ve resorted to just trying to be extra kind and visualizing a future without these tragedies. I actually run into a LOT more kind people than not - which is encouraging to me.

AVA, your getaway sounds nice. Glad you got some nurturing nature time. Good luck with your mom’s appointment!

Narily, I love the “like yourself” part of being sober.

I did a lot this weekend, and still feel this awful cold. I tell you - this is a 10 year cold. Meaning, I haven’t had one like this in that long. Gorsh - I was starting to feel like I must be exceedingly healthy by avoiding this crud for a few seasons. I have been struggling with feeling so out of it - but glad that my clients understand. Of course, I have to bill hours to get paid - but at least I’m not losing clients!

Here’s to a good week ahead. I feel positive things brewing.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We have been promised 'wall to wall sunshine' tomorrow & a high near 60 degrees. I would like that after all these cloudy days, haha!

Kensho, like you I don't get colds/respiratory infections often but when I do they are usually epic. I guess that's supposed to keep us humble? Hope you are feeling better very soon.

Byrdie & NS - our political environment is so stressful, sad & tragic
I wake up every morning wondering ;what's next'. We just have to vote smarter & do what we can to hold these politicians to their promises.

Wags, the 15 years I spent in my home based business was like yours in that most of my customers were online. Still, I managed to become online friends with a few of them. It is nice to do the face to face thing once in a while I hope you get your quota of new clients!

Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
We're supposed to head out for a quick pre-Halloween visit with our granddaughter tomorrow after school. She 100% better, her parents are getting there

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wagmor, fingers crossed for getting that local client if it’s a good fit for you.

Byrdie, I guess life in the security business means you have to start your week out falling behind right away, as you have to deal with the weekend problems.

Narilly, hope working part time is helping that job go better for you.

Lavande, I agree that you certainly do enrich your grandchildrens’ lives, and help give the boys a more secure base.

Kensho, maybe getting really sick will end up cleansing your system, like a forest fire renews the forest...it sure is a doozy of a cold you’re dealing with though; nothing mild about it.

Kensho, my brother is doing ok. I wrote him a nice note which he thanked me for, but I wasn’t very effective at talking to him in person. Awkward. He wears the beefy, reddened face with some broken blood vessels of a heavy drinker. It’s like an advertisement for our condition that I’m more sensitive to noticing in people lately.

Ava, thanks for showing us how to be strong and advocate for yourself.

I don’t understand these senseless mass shootings either, but I like your way of handling it, LC, and I like NS’s Ghandi quote where you don’t worry about finding or forcing or requiring the immediate fruit of an action.

Guitarista, you’re doing great!
RAVA, hope your week is going well.
Good day to all!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kens, I'm so sorry you are sick! Years ago, I had to put my Out Of Office on, even tho I work from home, I felt like 12 miles of bad road, I put "Sick as a dog, if you need help, I'm not sure who you should call, please just wait til I feel better." BAH, I had a customer write back and say, 'I've never seen THAT before!' I'm not a good sick person. I hope you feel better soon!

Slo, yes, there are plenty of tell tale signs for us alkies, I just knew no one could tell I was! Except the slurred speech, lack of memory and falling, I'm sure no one knew! The only one we're fooling is ourselves. I hope he can get help sooner than later. Where he is sucks. Hugs to you (AND him!)
Have a great Halloween Eve, all! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Slo, maybe your bro will stop and think for a bit and do some self reflection on where he's at and where he wants to be? I wish him safe travels and hope he can turn things around. Take care of you too.

Here's a 17 min. vid from American Tommy Rosen. I think he's a valuable asset around rebuilding our lives from addiction woes. He has some useful and interesting perspectives.

ASK TOMMY: Why Do Some Addicts in Long-Term Recovery Relapse? - Recovery 2.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just got back from seeing our granddaughter, glad we made the trip. It's an hour ride each way, not exactly around the corner, ha ha. At least I can be at my grandson's house in 10 minutes, much easier. The kids are so excited for Halloween tomorrow, school parties, trick-or-treating & all that. I am so grateful to be totally present & not missing out on all this

Slo, it's very difficult raising the topic of drinking with someone, even a brother. You tried & you let him know you are available that's really all you can do :hug: Hopefully he will think about things & his future. I guess you read about thee president's 'unwelcome' in Pittsburgh today. He got exactly what he deserved I think.

Byrdie, I don't make a very good patient either, ha ha! I spent too many years being the nurse, it's hard to reverse roles!

Thanks for the video link G - I will get back & watch it tomorrow. It's near bedtime for this old woman, LOL


Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I didn’t mean to imply that I talked to my brother about his alcohol problems -I didn’t. I only revealed my own struggles to him, and commiserated with his tough life situation.
I saw him in person in a very public venue and had a sound byte of time to respond when he thanked me for the note, and felt I didn’t clinch it right is all. But it’s hard, because he gets touchy when people offer to “help” him, with meals or childcare or whatever. I guess he thinks that we’re implying that he’s not doing a good enough job.
His ruddy complexion with the few broken blood vessels isn’t unusual I’ve found; lots of heavy-drinking men look like that. My FIL certainly always did, until he was forced to curtail his drinking later in life due to heart failure. And it shows up more on my brother due to his fair skin.

Wagmor, I went to the very last farmers market of the season this past weekend too, and loaded up on apples, also some pears. There’s nothing like fresh local apples. The ones in the grocery store don’t compare!

This is the first year my daughter won’t be going trick or treating, or to a Halloween party or haunted house or anything like that. Other things have gotten in the way, and too busy prepping for her sectionals swim meet. I’m ready for the trick or treaters tonight, but we usually don’t get very many in our neighborhood.

Happy Halloween!