Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

I just lost a post.. which is sad, 'cause I would have liked some advice. But now I've got to run..
Rava, welcome back.. Well done on day 2. Climbing out of that hole can be so difficult and I'm happy to have you back, safe and sound in the Nest.
Wishing you all a nice Wednesday..xx

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Thanks for all the welcome back comments and good advice Tomorrow is just another turkey day. I’m hosting 30 people so it will be an exhausting day. My trigger will be once everyone leaves. I will be too busy to worry about drinking throughout the day. Exhaustion and stupidity work hand and hand together for me. So once its all over I need to be aware of that. I realize that I drink only to get in my happy place. One or two drinks does not work. It takes much more and my happy place has become my hell. I have no idea when the crossover came because I have been drinking for way too long. I am old enough and smart enough to know that alcohol has no place in my life. I’m also working on new sleeping habits as insomnia has been a huge issue with me. I have also been using sleeping pills on occasion to help with that. So i want to stop everything. Want to keep it real and be accountable. I laid awake last night for about 3 hours before finally falling asleep. UGH Its gonna take some work to get my ass back in a healthy routine.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Rava,just keep your eye on the trigger time,in a way its good you know thats a hard time for you,gives you a heads up I'm an insomniac too always have been(even before drinking days) I take melatonin and unisom everynight,i can deal with the melatonin but I don't like taking the unisom on duch a regular basis but I'm also a creep without enough sleep! Grrr,it's a catch for sure Ava,I've tried enlisting my kids but they just don't understand why I can't have a few,,they drink pretty "responsibly" so if I say I have an urge they just say go easy with it,hubs is the same,so they're no help,glad you had your kids to lean in,gonna run to the store this morning to avoid the crowds,need a few Thanksgiving things,buy a donut while I'm there,then head to work,waves to all and wishes for a superb,sober Wednesday!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.

LC - Dang, sorry you lost your post. We're here for you when you need.

Last night I was home alone AND i have today off. 5 years ago that would have been a ticket straight to Boozeville! I would be waking up now (early, I never can sleep in), and I would feel terrible. I'd have to get up and cook with a headache and nausea, and I would therefore give myself permission to drink again tonight - it's vacation! It will help me feel better! Just a little! Phew, so very, very happy I don't have to deal with that. I ate some pizza, worked on a puzzle, and went straight to bed.

Pauly, that quick trip to the store early (and for a donut) sounds like a good idea. Can you give your kids and hubs the real, straight story about your drinking? I think my husband was a bit surprised at the amount of sneaking I did. Of course he saw me in my cups many, many times, and he saw my anxiety after, but I gave him play by play the extent of my thoughts and actions around alcohol. He truly knows now that I can't drink - and I remind him from time to time still. Maybe if you laid it all out there, they would support you more??

I am up WAY too early. Sleep is more elusive as I get older. I was told this was coming, but I hoped it wouldn't happen to me. I'm not a good napper, so it just means I'll have to go to bed early again. Not in itself terrible, but the time when my teens are around and talkative is late evening. I'll make it work.

Off to cook and maybe squeeze in some exercise - maybe not. It is supposed to rain today and clear some of the smoke out of the air, but it is still bad this morning. At least the rain will help the firefighters.

All you US people - really and truly, this is just another dinner. Make solid plans and you can get through this. You deserve it.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi my friends!! All good here! I’m on phone only in Phoenix, AZ visiting family for Thanksgiving. I crashed when I got here after a few late nights of work. And I’m feeling particularly excited and strong as I get closer to one year AF. I’m sorry I’ve been absent, and thank you for your concern! I’m headed out for a walk with my son amongst the cactus, and then back to make the gnocchi sauce for our dinner tomorrow.

I have lots to say but can’t seem to find the moments to phone type... may have to lock myself in a closet! Thinking of you all. And I’ll be home Friday night with much more access to a keyboard. Hugs to all.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION], I have never hosted that many people and really can't imagine pulling it off. What I can easily imagine, though, is shooing everyone else off to bed and cleaning up the mess, drinking glass after glass of red wine while I did it. I suspect any of us would need to have a specific plan in place for tomorrow evening if we were doing what you are! I hope the day is tons of fun -- and that you have a lot of help!

I love the idea of Thanksgiving but not the stress of meeting holiday expectations in terms of the types and amounts of food. All that work and then people scarf it down in 30 minutes and start moaning about how awful they feel because they are so full! Last year we took everyone to a restaurant. The food was good and I liked it but others missed the rituals of Thanksgiving at home so we are back to that - but NOT at my house!! I made a couple of cranberry dishes and will help with whatever I'm assigned tomorrow. There will be too much food but it will be tasty. There will be too much wine, also, but not for me.

Happy Thanksgiving, Nesters!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

@no sugar. I did clean up last year and drank quite a bit. Thats the thing I want to avoid. I have been prepping all day and people will be bringing food as well. I bought some non alcoholic sparking cider for me and the others will be brining wine. I am scared but determined that I can do this. I have to remember that I have had 8 years of sober time in the past and I can do this again. Just got to get my head straight.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Hope you are ok LC and good to see you checking in Kensho.

Rava, if i have a social event at home (which is rare) i drink my non al drinks in a wine glass to feel included, although i also sniff my drink to make sure it is mine and not someone elses. Have a nice relaxing shower before you clean up, changing the routine helps. I am a non sleeper also, drives me batty. this morning i woke at 1.40 and thought its too early for work so i listened to some sleep music and went off until my alarm at 4.15. i do love a good nap though but then cant get to sleep at night. catch 22 but i have now decided to sleep when i am tired. i hope you enjoy your day.

I hope it rains for you Pav and the fires are put out. Its raining here so will send it over to you.

Pauly, i agree with Pav, tell the fam straight. My lot knew the extent of my drinking, i never really hid it except the extra bottle i had "just in case". they also knew my brother died from al so they didnt want that to happen to me. its funny as i tell them its 5 years soon and they all say "great mum we will celebrate and get pissed", every year i say yes what a great idea. I could not think of anything worse and they would never ever let a drop of al pass my lips, funny enough they love and respect me more now.

NS i was normally too drunk to clean up, always woke up to it in the morning and i'd look at it, take two paracetamol and go back to bed wanting to die. come to when i felt alright and it was wine time and clean up time.

My coworker has returned and i am pretty happy, now i can catch up on my work although now i am in the routine of 5am starts but its quiet so i get so much more done. she was sounding as if she was coming down with a cold so i am hoping she comes to work. Off to the dermatologists today to get results of a biopsy i had a few weeks ago, its fine, i looked!

Take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m headed out for a walk with my son amongst the cactus, and then back to make the gnocchi sauce for our dinner tomorrow.

Good to see you friend Kensho! Your above line set off a vivid image for me. It initiated immediate good vibes. The image of a strong sober, happy person strolling through a desert landscape among the cactus, tall and proud, full of wonder and possibility in the wild wide open spaces. Leading by brilliant example with her son. Wowza!

Good to see you back Rava! Wow, you've got a big day ahead of you. You can handle it. Enjoy yourself!

No more Thanks giving day massacre for Pav. That could be a movie!

Big waves to all.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good to see you Kensho Everybody trust me when I say my family absolutely know the extent and severity of my drinking,I think cuz I'm "better"than how I was and do take time off that they don't understand what the problem is,even tho I've laid out how terrible I feel about drinking,how terrible I feel when drinking,after,etc,the dumb,careless choices I make,they still just don't see it but then I know they do cuz I can see the disappointed look on their faces when I've drank,ho hum,still think its best to check in here not call one of them

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I thought I’d grab an oldie I posted back at Thanksging 2011. Not much has changed!!
Hope everyone has a great holiday!

Belle...when you hear me refering to going down the rabbit hole...I am talking about the thoughts that make you want to drink. One thought leads to another, until finally, thoughts are actions and you are sucked in. I noticed it when you mentioned that your 30 days would be up the day before Thanksgiving...and that a glass of wine with the meal would be grand. This will get you in the hole in a hurry....Take the wine off the table (figuratively and literally) and you will be glad you did. It puts you in a state of turmoil.

You want Peace, right? Let us go down the rabbit hole together...shall we? There's the family....all gathered, giving thanks. That one glass of wine in front of you. What are you thankful for? blah, blah, blah.....and it goes around.

Before you know it the solitary glass of wine is gone. Someone pours you another....(oh you shouldn't, but it IS Thanksgiving, after all). If you are able to stop at 2 you are a better person than I am. I would dare to say that even if you didn't have any more....the next day you'd feel the GSR brothers...(Guilt/Shame/Remorse). And alas...this is FRIDAY....the best drinking day of the week! And a day off from work...I bet you go to the store and get some of your old favorites...

Then it's the weekend...and then you've blown it totally and why not drink... everyone else is??? The whole holiday thing sucks...all this wine around, why shouldn't I be able to drink like everyone else?

The next thing you know, the holidays have come and gone...and you don't even know where they went.

You find yourself feeling anxious, alone and depressed....because here you are right back where you started....Day Freakin 1. If you are me, it's was this point I didn't care if I lived or died...everything I had worked for had gone to hell in a basket.

BUT, let us back up for a second, and relive this whole thing of my rabbit hole theory. Your 30 day anniversary is celebrated by your friends in the nest! And day 31 is Thanksgiving. You wake up with a clear head and are able to enjoy your food and the people. You are sober now, you don't drink. You don't so much RESIST the drink as you do REFUSE IT...you actually remember the day (what people said) and you are FREE of the demon that wants so badly to live in you. The next day you feel like you've won a victory!! YOU HAVE DONE IT! You've gotten thru your first Turkey Day without AL! On to day 32, and girl I'll tell you, no drink tastes better than being sober feels.

By Christmas, instead of being a blurry mess, you will be in control!! No guilt! No Shame! No Remorse! You will never regret being sober. You know how the story ends...make it happen!!! When you feel your thoughts going there....tell yourself NO! HELL NO! And recite the Pledge of Allegience, or name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves.....do anything you have to do to get that thought out of your head. Don't go down the rabbit hole. I've been there and trust me, there's no good to be had down there. Keep your quit no matter what or no matter who!!! I'll be perched up on your shoulder and I will knock you up side the head if you think of having a glass of wine!!! Deal??? Love you all!! Byrdie"

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry to call you out like that, Kensho; I just really thought you were in California, so maybe near one of the fires. So exciting that you’re approaching a year!

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], I wish for you that your business and all wasn’t quite so all-consuming.

I totally get what you’re saying about your family and your drinking, [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION].

I don’t have to host Thanksgiving tomorrow, yay! I just have to make a couple side dishes tomorrow morning.
I like your idea about drinking your drink out of a wine glass to make it special on holidays, Ava. I’m going to try that tomorrow.

Thanksgiving has been hard for me in the past too. I had been resurrecting my first quit one year when Thanksgiving rolled around. I was hosting for a large group, like 25, and everything was going wrong: the second fridge malfunctioned to the temp of a freezer, so one turkey never thawed, then the Nesco roasters that the turkeys were in kept shorting out the power, so things weren’t cooking etc.
I was so distressed when people arrived that I drank a beer and all stress melted away and I was in sync, fun & funny...the magic after not having had any for a few weeks. Of course it can turn into a nightmare too; after all, my sister was in rehab that Thanksgiving. But it was “magical” enough to turn me off of sobriety for another year or so before trying again. No more “magic” for me: it’s a drug! I see through it now, and desperately don’t want to be dependent on that sh** anymore!

Sufferin’ Succotash, Mr. G is over 70 days! Congrats to you.

I’m off to the movies now to see “The Green Book”. Goodnight!

[abcowboy]

Hello Nesters, just had to add something after reading the posts about families. I’d like to share a funny story with a serious side to it.

I stay out at my son’s on weekends during hunting season, usually only Saturday night. His basement is finished c/w bar area, rumpus room, bedroom, bathroom, and gun room. The gun room is where we store our hunting rifles and the ammunition etc. It has a deadbolt lock on it to keep everything secure and we put everything back into that room and lock it up after the day’s hunt. The bar area has a fridge that has numerous varieties of beer and alcohol in it as well as my Coke, Root Beer, and Ginger Ale. I stay in one of the spare bedrooms upstairs so that I can hear when he gets up in the morning and it’s okay for me to come out.

Anyway, two weekends ago when I was out there Adam was on call for the weekend. Saturday night after we got back from hunting, we had supper and watched the Oiler’s game then went to bed. Around 3:30am I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed the downstairs light was on but figured Adam must have gotten a trouble call and went downstairs to deal with it so as not to wake me. Thought nothing more of it and went back to bed. In the morning when he got up, I got up and went into the kitchen to say good morning and he looked at me kind of strange. I asked him what was wrong and he just said he thought I was downstairs but he was afraid to look! I laughed and told him why I thought the light was on, seems like we just forgot to shut it off after locking up the rifles lol.

As we were having coffee and breakfast, we laughed about what each other was thinking, he thought he said or did something to make me start drinking again. I told him that nobody could make me start drinking again, only I could do that, and I sure wasn’t about to start so he didn’t have to worry! He then told me we could make room in the upstairs fridge for my beverages if seeing all the booze downstairs bothered me. I told him that when I opened the fridge in the bar I only saw 3 beverages, mine, and if seeing the other alcoholic drinks made me want to start drinking again, then I was doing something wrong in my sobriety.

But what made me stop and think was his comment that somehow he was to blame for me possibly starting drinking again! I wonder how many of our family members felt responsible for our drinking, that somehow they were to blame. Something I’m definitely going to address next time all the kids are home….

Funny what a left on light can do lol.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Exhausted after a full day of prep work in the kitchen, ha ha. At least I know I am ready for the main event tomorrow.

Cowboy, nice to see you & thank you for sharing that story.
I also wonder sometimes what my family thinks but honestly I don't ask. We pretty much keep opinions to ourselves. No one in my family has a perfectly clean record, we've all made mistakes.

LC, hope everything is OK. Are you still hosting a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow?

Byrdie, I remember that post from 2011
I will never be that blurry mess of the past.

Slo, I will be enjoying my odd mixture of decaf green tea & chai spice tea. Maybe I will break out a fancy glass too

Hello to Pauly, G, NS, Ava, Pav, Wags & everyone. Kensho, glad you checked in & are OK!

Rava, bless you for hosting such a big crowd. I'll be thinking of you & sending you strength.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest & a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good night everyone.

Yeah, I remember the Thanksgiving massacre, I feel like I was there, lol. So glad you kicked AL’s butt Pav.

Rava, keep on listening to the Bubble Hour, it is amazing how some of the conversations can hit home. It really helped me, like NS said, post here as soon as you get the urge or read a few posts. It’s a good reminder on why you shouldn’t drink.

Howdy Cowboy, thanks forthe story.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends.

Don’t drink today.